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EVIL ORG CHART

Role: Board of Directors
Responsibilities: The board represents the interests of cosmic Evil. This governing body meets at regular intervals to set policy for lower-case evil management and oversight.
Sexual Responsibilities: Fucking with Warlock, judging interplanar beauty pageants, and ensuring that Fighter remains female in this continuity.

Role: CEO
Responsibilities: Responsible for all major evil decisions, managing the overall operations and resources of the Antagonist™ organization. Elected by the board and serves the interests of Evil at their pleasure. Required by statute to maintain private ambitions in conflict with one or more dark masters.
Sexual Responsibilities: Must be really, really good with skele-hands.

Role: VP
Responsibilities: The vice president's responsibilities include overseeing internal operations and helping to build strong customer relationships.
Sexual Responsibilities: Whips, chains, and bondage. Must display total dominance and maximize personnel performance.

Role: Manager
Responsibilities: Accomplishes department objectives by managing personnel. Plans and evaluates department activities. Provides easy World of Darkness punchlines.
Sexual Responsibilities: Whatever BBEG says.

Role: Junior Associate
Responsibilities: As interns, but with speaking lines.
Sexual Responsibilities: Fluffer.

Role: Interns
Responsibilities: You are a goblin. You are going to die horribly.
Sexual Responsibilities: None.

Role: Independent Contractors
Responsibilities: Responsibilities vary, but may include counteracting competitor initiatives, lobbying select board members during important votes, and providing health care benefits to qualified staff.
Sexual Responsibilities: Frequent group sex scenes.

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Comments

Anonymous

My sense of Self Preservation compels me to answer yes. I will have to use that line!

Nick

Ew, corporate structure. Bring on the pirates, cultists, evil wizards, and evil wizard pirate cultists, but keep that manager from Office Space away from me.

Michael Zemancik

BBEG is gonna bone them good. And Interns’ sexual responsibility is ‘breeding’. Gotta replace those numbers.

Robbert Raets

This puts some of my favourite passages from LotR about the destruction of the Witch-King in a disturbing new light... 'cleaving the undead flesh, breaking the spell that knit his unseen sinews to his will'...

Sigurður Steinn Sveinsson

Everybody needs some lovin' from time to time even bodyless undeads(and I'm sure there' s SOMEONE SOMEWHERE, who's into that sorta thing)