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Not the Hero piece of 18 v3 (Patreon)

Published:
2016-08-21 07:43:36
Edited:
2023-09-07 19:01:30
Imported:
2024-08
Tags:

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Content

Once again I'm republishing the entire chapter because I made edits, though I don't think there's anything significant between the obvious edit at the start of the chapter, and the part where he starts giving details about the caribou. 

I made an effort to trim down some things that seemed a bit over the top for a T rating based mostly on Brian's suggestions. Hopefully the new material manages to stay within bounds as well.

The fight scene finally gets started in this piece. I may end up having to break this chapter into two pieces, because it's looking like it may go over 30K words. I have written entire multipart stories that are shorter than that.

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Comments

Brian Higgins

To be honest, this isn't a bad place for a cliff-hanger. Maybe just adding a bit where Discord says his throat's getting sore from talking so much and he'll come back to the rest later or something. Or that he needs to tend to the next part of his plans/wants to take a break to go play some pranks on Anon and the others.

Brian Higgins

I assume you already have a plan by this point, but thought I'd drop another suggestion. Seeing as The Editor said he'd tag the parts that folks might find objectionable and you're thinking of dividing the chapter into two parts, you could make the first part all the stuff leading up to Discord finding the Caribou and making his plan then have him cut out with some excuse at the part where he's put together the skeleton of his idea. He stops talking here saying he needs a break for whatever reason (recharge, scrub the nasty images from the Caribou Kingdom out of his head, go mess with Anon and the others some more, etc). Then the second part is all about him tearing the Caribou a new one and recovering the Element of Cruelty plus whatever else fits for the end. That way the story itself has the more graphic and objectionable detail all in one easier-to-skip chapter followed by a kick-ass chapter where Discord gives the Caribou what for. Just like what the Editor said he'd do.