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Chapter 6

We entered the pharmacy.  Frankie took the lead and we walked around for a bit. I assumed we were looking for the diaper aisle until we ran into one of the clerks. A young girl who looked like she was just finishing high school, a year or two younger than me. She was smiling at us with the best corporate smile you can get.

Clerk: Can I help you girls?

Frankie: I’m sure you could, can you show us where the diaper aisle is?

Clerk:Sure enough, are you looking for baby diapers or adult incontinence products? They’re not in the same section.

Frankie: Hmm, well I don’t know actually, they’re kind of in between. More like training panties.

Clerk: Oh like potty training diapers? Huggies Pull-Ups perhaps, for toddlers?

Frankie: Well they are Pull-Ups, but more for teenagers… her size.

She pointed at me. I got beet red, biting my lip as I thought of our deal. I had to play along for today and that was it. The clerk looked surprised, but did an okay job at maintaining her professional composure. With the way I was looking at my feet, cheeks flushed red, she must’ve known immediately they were for me.

Clerk: Oh… I see, hum, is it for daytime or nighttime use?

Frankie: Bed wetting. Specifically. Although daytime on occasion, you know… just in case. She’s been having accidents lately. Here, Ash, why don’t we show her the one you’ve got on right now, maybe she’ll know which brand it is!

She got closer to me as my eyes widened. There was no way I’d let her reveal my diaper in front of the whole store. I almost yelled

Ashley: Goodnites!! They’re Goodnites. Okay?! Let’s just get them so we can get the hell out of here.

Frankie: Oh! There’s your tongue, you should’ve said so all along sweetie, we wouldn’t have asked for help! Silly her, she gets so shy about it sometimes. Yes, the Goodnites. They’re bigger Pull-Ups basically. She’s an adult but I’m not so sure you classify those as adult diapers.

The clerk looked embarrassed for me. I was furious. Frankie knew exactly the name of the diapers I was wearing. She had a pair on herself three days ago. I almost told her exactly that to get back at her, but I knew better than to provoke her, given my current underwear situation. She had the power to make my life worse in that regard.

Clerk: Of course, those would be in the baby… hum in the… aisle 4, with the other Huggies products. 

Frankie: Baby diaper aisle it is! Got it.

I bolted right ahead, walking a steady pace in the aisle’s direction, I didn’t want to give Frankie the chance to humiliate me further in the process of buying those stupid Pull-Ups.

I walked down the aisle, quickly looking at the different brands of baby diapers. Pampers, Luvs, Huggies. All of them, smiling babies and toddlers on colorful packages. The thought that I was looking for one of them for myself was almost haunting. I had worn Goodnites to bed for the most part of my teenage years, but I was never the one buying them. 

I identified the pink packages with the white girl and her pearly smile. The bags had changed through the years but I remembered exactly what the bag sitting in my drawer looked like. I looked at the quantities. 

Sally had said Frankie should buy a lot of them, clearly under the delusion that I was going to keep wetting myself uncontrollably. Frankie was probably gonna insist I buy more than my current 12 pack so I chose the biggest bag to be done with it.

I picked up the 20 briefs bag and headed straight to the register, without even waiting for Frankie to catch up. She would insist we get more, that’s for sure. 

That would make Aunt Sally more inclined to keep me in them, at least at night as a precaution. ‘’We bought you so many, might as well put them on just in case honey’’. That’s what she would say. Or some other nonsensical shit to calm her pathological need to control me, just as she had my mother when they were kids.

I could see straight through Frankie’s plan. She was manipulating her old grandma into believing I was a paranoid, incontinent version of my mother.

But that would end soon. I wouldn’t let her bully me around for her pervasive sadistic pleasure anymore. To think that she was getting off on that… 

Did that… arouse her? The diapers and all, the humiliation? That was a weird thought. I had heard of diapers fetish before, but always found it odd that they would actually enjoy wearing them when they didn’t even need them.

Could Frankie be some kind of diaper fetishist or dominant? Why would she come up with such elaborate plots just to keep me in Pull-Ups all the time?

I sure hoped to God that wasn’t the case though. Frankie was… she was…

Where was Frankie?

I checked around the register, looking for her. The cashier was a guy in his twenties. He scanned the package and gave me a strange smile, but didn’t seem all that surprised. He handed me my receipt.

Cashier: Have a Goodnight.

He said that like he was the first idiot to think it. Frankie had said the same to me on the first night she handed me a Goodnite. Which made me think…

Ashley: They’re for my little cousin Frankie. She’s coming.

He looked around for her too. Nobody was there.

Ashley: Soon.

But she was still not showing up. I had the feeling she was trying to trick me into something. The question was… what? Did she want me to come back there and get me to try the Pull-Ups on? Would she emerge from aisle 4 with a bunch of Goodnites bags stacked on one another, to make sure I had enough for the next two months?

Ashley: I’ll go get her.

I started panicking. I walked over to the diaper aisle but she wasn’t there. I almost ran up the whole store, looking in every aisle, until I saw the clerk.

Clerk: Are you looking for your friend? She already left.

Ashley: Really?

Clerk: Not long ago. And hey… I’m sorry for your problem. You should have that checked out, it might be a urinary infection or something. There’s a clinic nearby, I can give you the address if you want.

Ashley: That won’t be necessary, thanks. I actually won’t be wearing Pull-Ups at night soon. It’s just a deal I’ve made with my little cousin.

Clerk: Oh yes, she told me…

Ashley: She told you about our deal?

Clerk: What deal?

Ashley : Whatever.

She was bumming me out with her assumption that I was really still pissing myself all the time at my age. I wanted to focus on where Frankie had gone.

On my way out, I passed by the cashier, clutching my pink Pull-Ups bag, shamefully still alone. He smiled at me smugly.

Ashley : I swear she was in here!

I left before he could answer.

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