Paradise of Infinity: 334 (Patreon)

Title: Seduction Time

“So, she was just fucking stupid,” Revy laughs while kicking a punching bag, working up some sweat. As others predicted, actual guns did nothing to Korosensei. Instead, the lead melts in his body. What was out of everyone’s expectations was that Irina KNEW about Koro’s weakness to anti-Sensei material and refused to believe such intel. In her mind, some ‘nerf’ bullets won’t work on such a monster.

The end?

Well, Koro gave Irina a ‘maintenance’ session. Yet, this session was different from how blissful Irina looked.

Ignoring Revy, Nik stares at Koro as he would stare at Iroh. Finally, a master who can help him improve his craft!

Oh, Korosensei couldn’t teach anything about Elemental Bending. But the rest?

“So? You mean this point?” Nik creates a stunning likeness of a female body’s back. Actually…

The back looked surprisingly similar to Irina’s back!

“Amazing, Nik-Sensei!” Koro doesn’t stint on praises. “You have the eye for details. You almost captured Bitch-Sensei’s likeness without even seeing her naked.” He doesn’t mention a thing about Earthbending as Revy’s eyes twitch. His tentacles move, and he refines the mud sculpture before pointing at everything.

“You perverts are annoying me,” Revy snorts. “I’m going to the field and see if anyone is up for assassination volley.”

“Bye~!” Nik waves his hands.

She rolls her eyes, unaware of her changes these few days.

Koro’s smile deepens as he flips through his adult magazine while reclining in his chair.

“You aren’t here for just massage tips, right, Nik-Sensei?” Korosensei snickers. “We’ve known each other for a few weeks now. You’re also the only ‘host’ that doesn’t avoid me like a plague. I can sense even Ray-Sensei holds slight fear for me.”

“Who says I don’t fear you?” Nik smiles as he presses on the sculpture. Korosensei shakes his head, prompting Nik to lower his hands. The monster nods as Nik continues. “But I’m taught bravery only exists due to fear. If I don’t fear, I cannot be brave. It’s elementary, but Iroh always made me focus on the basic teachings since we often overlook them.”

Korosensei doesn’t say anything, as if accepting that Nik truly learned from one of the wisest fictional characters to exist. “But Iroh is not me,” a fond smile appears on Nik’s face. “I can grow from his teachings. But I cannot limit myself to one individual’s wisdom.”

“I think you understand my issues for a reason, Korosensei,” Nik smiles at the creature. He looks back at Nik, unbothered by the heaven printed on paper.

“To understand me, you must have faced something similar. That’s how I am with Hansel and Gretel… their unbridled violence somehow pleases me. I get it.”

“And?” Koro encourages.

“Well,” Nik shrugs. “I was arrogant to think I could kill or save you based on how I feel. Who cares how our relationship ends or how it develops as long as you get what you want and I get what I want.”

He sits on the ground, matching Korosensei’s gaze. “We aren’t Iroh. There’s no point in hoping you would take me in like Iroh did and guide me the way he did. But you ARE a teacher. I know I will find my answers from you. All I can do is learn.”

Korosensei closes his magazine. His beady eyes squint ever so slightly.

“And how exactly are you going to do that? You are not my student. What I can do is limited, including helping Hansel and Gretel cover their years of learning gap.”

Nik lowers his head.

“It’s kind of cheesy,” he sighs. “You’re a murderer. But you aren’t like me. I KNOW you didn’t forget your past. After all, everyone has their own way of coping. Some people can consider killing the most efficient process to a result. Some regret their past and help others to redeem it. I know a few who don’t care. Indifference is a coping mechanism, too. Some do it for duty.”

“Nufufu! What’s yours, Nik-Sensei?”

“I think we’re all damned,” Nik smirks wryly. “That’s why I never felt distant from Revy or how Roanapur operates. Since I’m damned, I want others to live better. They can only live happily if they see me unburdened. That’s the first rule of being kind to others, right?—Being kind to myself. So, I want to learn how you teach others. My answers lie there. Why would you do something as teaching a few kids?”

“Why did Iroh teach me?”

“Why do the damned continue forward? I think… I’ll get my answer from there. Perhaps it will allow me to meet Iroh next time with my head held high.”

Korosensei figures momentarily tremble before a bench, and a stack of papers appears near them.

“I promised I would help you by the end of the year,” Korosensei chuckles. “But you’re too impatient, Nik-Sensei.”

“Can’t help that,” Nik snickers. “I almost attacked Irina yesterday. Besides, I can only move on. How I move on is the key.”

“Wonderful,” Koro praises. “I’m sure General Iroh will leap with joy from the animated screens of the cartoon series—Avatar.”

Nik shrugs at the sarcasm. “He was the Fire King when I left him.”

Korosensei suddenly shifts the conversation, “Is that why Ray-Sensei is so familiar with me?”

“How would I know?” Nik doesn’t give unnecessary details about Ray. “We’re just here to kill you…”

“Or save me.”

Korosensei adds with a grin. “Quite an ambitious task.”

“Actually,” Nik suddenly blinks. “It’s easy. You’re way too strong and intelligent for someone like me to comprehend. You could effortlessly save yourself.”

Korosensei begins grading the quiz as he hands half the stack to Nik. His intent is clear. Nik will have to ask questions and get the answers before grading them. If he wants to be a teacher, he must act like one.

“What would you like, Nik-Sensei?” Koro questions between grading papers. “Is your resolve to kill me greater than your humanity to save me?”

Nik’s pen slows before he smilingly answers.

A soft gust rustles the trees around them as Korosensei’s poker-grinning face remains unchanged. They share a glance before returning to their work.

<<<>>>

‘Damn him!’ Irina bites her thumbnail while scrolling through her tablet. Her previously hired help won’t work. She ignores the impatient classroom while trying to find good help from the available list.

‘I’ll pay back for that humiliation!’ She grounds her jaw. Her pretty features contorted with rage. Irina recalls how she’d been slipped into an elementary kid’s gym uniform. The anger deepens.

‘Why the fuck does that perverted tentacle ball have such a cosplay uniform in the first place?!’

She blushes in shame. The worst part is that Koro’s massage worked all her kinks out. She hasn’t moved with such innate agility for years!

“Could you switch with Korosensei if you aren’t going to teach us, Sensei? We have our Entrance Exams this year.”

One of the boys suggests as Irina glances up from her tablet. Condescension flickers in her blue eyes as she sneers. “You want to learn from that monster when you have an attractive lady like me in your classroom?”

She stands and derides. “I can’t blame you guys for being fools. This is an adult’s world, got it? All your studies won’t matter in a few years anyway. How about this? I will give you guys 5 million yen from my bounty once I assassinate that monster. That should be more than enough. Heh. It’s better than you kids can do.”

She flips her long tresses. “After all, it’s a wonder why that monster took pity on you pathetic bunch.”

The mood in the classroom unceremoniously shifts as an eraser hits the board beside Irina’s face.

“Eh?” Irina blinks.

“Get out!”

Another girl throws her pencil.

“Yeah! You bitch! Get out!”

Students start cursing and shouting as they throw their stationary at Irina. The woman even catches a glimpse of a green-haired girl holding a board and protesting… big boobs?

Irina scoffs and leaves the classroom, grumbling and finding Tadaomi not far in the hall. It’s clear he’s keeping an eye on her after her recent stunts. However, she doesn’t speak for dozens of minutes.

“Can you believe those kids doing that?” Irina finally loses her calm. Irritation and frustration from her recent loss mix with the students’ attitude as she looks at Tadaomi.

The defense agent gives her a quiet glance before stating, “Come with me.”

“What?”

However, Tadaomi doesn’t speak another word and leaves the faculty room. Irina feels even more frustrated as she follows the stoic defense agent. They walk out of the building before nearing a spot inside the forest. On the way, Irina glances and notes several targets, swinging logs, and more. It’s like an assassin’s playground.

“Here is enough- oh?” Tadaomi blinks in surprise. Irina stands beside him and glances in the same direction. She sees Nik sitting on the ground and Koro reclining on a chair as they scribbled on paper. She can hear their voices as Tadaomi whispers.

“Korosensei always sets assignments and quizzes for the students during the sixth period.”

“So what?” Irina frowns. “He’s a monster with the relative speed of Mach 20. Stuff like this is effortless for him.”

Tadaomi looks at Irina, uttering, “Every paper is different.”

Irina’s eyes momentarily widen as she focuses on Nik’s and Koro’s conversation.

“Nagisa has a good head on his shoulder. I think we can add a slightly more complex logical question like…” Nik offers as Koro nods. “That’s a great problem. Here. Do you know anything about literature?”

“No. That’s why I was stoked about meeting someone who could speak multiple languages. But forget about that. What about this mathematical question?”

The duo ignores their observers.

Nik cannot compare to Koro’s efficiency. However, he’s steadily going through the material locked inside his mental library. Most of the stuff may seem ancient. However, several applications are universal. Nik is beginning to have more practical ideas by comparing past and modern knowledge.

Meanwhile, Tadaomi leads Irina elsewhere.

Irina watches the children playing volleyball on the field. Revy and Ray are on opposing sides. Meanwhile, other students cheer as they wait for their turns.

“What’s that?” Irina questions.

“Assassination Volleyball,” Tadaomi answers. “They all use special blades to redirect and control the volleyball to help them handle their weapons better. Hansel and Gretel are pros. They mastered it quickly. But look at Revy and Ray. Even though they are better, they let the students act. Their presence is more for motivation.”

As Tadaomi states, the two women rarely move. However, both have huge smiles.

“Ray, Nik, and Revy came into Class 3-E with different goals. However, they didn’t look down at the students. The most surprising one was Revy. But even she’s getting more accommodating to these students whether she knows it or not.”

Tadaomi looks at Irina.

“This Assassination Classroom exists because of the target. We don’t know why a ‘monster’ like him isn’t already out there killing everything and everyone. But these students are valuable. I know better than to make a case for an Assassin’s humanity.” His stoic words are biting. “Look at it however you wish. But to exist in this area, you must also be a teacher. The three other teachers are also trying their best. Nik looks out for these children. He jumped off a cliff for one of them. Ray might seem erratic, but she’s a comforting presence. Other students look for Ray for issues they don’t like disclosing to Koro. Revy also doesn’t stint on tips when handling a gun. She’s an expert in the field, maybe more than you and I, since she dual-wields her pistols.”

Tadaomi lets his words sink in before concluding.

“If you can’t do that, we have no shortage of assassins who exist only for killing.”

Irina slowly lowers her head. Surprising Tadaomi, regret flickers in her blue eyes.

*Clack* *Clack* *Clack*

*Clack* *Clack* *Clack*

After a while, the chattering students hear the familiar heel clicking against their wooden floor before Irina slides the door open. She calmly walks near the blackboard, picks up a chalk stick, and writes on it.

—You are incredible in bed.—

Irina writes that in English before looking at the students.

“Repeat after me,” she commands. “You are incredible in bed.”

Although stunned, the students speak. “You are incrediburr in bed.”

Their accent is heavily influenced by their native language. Irina translates it into Japanese, making the students blush in shame.

Why did she make them say such a thing?!

“That’s what the bodyguard of a VIP in the USA said to me,” Irina calmly continues. “I approached the target through his bodyguard before killing him. As an assassin who relies on seduction, I understand that language is the easiest way to seduce someone. The ability to converse in the target’s language is the key. The most common way to master a foreign language is through having a lover in the said country.”

Irina glances at the students.

“I have no interest in teaching you the boring stuff. As I said, most of it won’t matter in a few years. Instead, I will teach you things that adults need years to understand and learn—things like seducing your target. So…”

Irina glances away. Her cheeks taint red as she mutters. “I hope you guys can forgive me.”

The students look at each other before bursting out, giggling. Hansel and Gretel are no better as they laugh till tears slide down their cheeks.

Blushing in shame and anger, Irina hisses, “Hey! Enough!”

“Why are you being so mushy? We would have forgotten all about it by tomorrow.”

“Eh! So, Bitch-nee-san is cute,” one of the girls giggles. “She is also knuckle-headed. Didn’t she try using real guns on Korosensei?”

“She is also a perv,” Gretel mewls before winking at Nagisa.

“H-Hey,” Irina clears her throat. “How about we start our year with a new page. So, we can drop the ‘Bitch’ part.”

“Eh?” the classroom erupts.

“We already got used to calling you Bitch, Bitch-Nee-San!”

“That’s right!”

“How about this? We’ll stick to Bitch-Sensei. After all, Pedo-Sensei and Ray-Sensei also call you that.”

“Right, right!”

Irina clenches the chalk stick, crushing it into powder!

“You stupid kids!” She snarls as Karma drawls.

“Besides, you should stick to teaching us a foreign language, Bitch-Sensei. Pedo-Sensei is our seduction instructor, and his lectures are more in-depth.”

The red-haired menace notices an opportunity to create chaos like a certain former princess, grinning, “After all, you’re only using your boobs. Pedo-Sensei has most of the girls in our class wrapped around his finger with words alone.”

“Shut up!” A few girls fiercely blush, shouting at the teen as Karma shrugs, “See? Ah! But you also tried kissing Nagisa. So, you’re a Bitch and a Pedo…”

The classroom falls into silence.

“Pedo-Bitch-Sensei?” Kaede tries to sound it out as Irina snaps, “Bitch-Sensei is fine!”

She snorts and moves out of the class. “I want to see what your Pedo-Sensei can teach that I cannot!”

<<<>>>

“So…” Forced into the class by an annoyed Irina, Nik looks around. “First of all, I wouldn’t teach them anything useless like how to arouse someone. After all, their target is Korosensei. Those kinds of things won’t matter. Instead, I teach the class how to talk with someone and gain their trust. We basically discuss the results without name-dropping anyone.”

Irina gawks.

“That’s it?”

“What more do you need?” Nik shrugs. “I made it clear on the first day of my class. Tadaomi-Sensei also doesn’t want us to do anything stupid. For instance, kissing a minor.”

The corner of Irina’s eye twitches as she retorts, “How else do you teach them about extracting useful information?”

“About what?”

“About the target!”

Nik cups his chin before glancing at the children. “Don’t you kids have chat groups? Just share whatever you learn about Korosensei there.”

The students nod.

“See?” Nik glances at Irina. “No need to make it so complicated. Besides, they already have the best advantage. Korosensei chose to be here. Just use it against him.”

“As expected of the chosen one.” A quiet murmur echoes as veins bulge around Irina, who snaps, “Alright! Who said that?!”

The classroom descends into silence as Nik smiles. “You shouldn’t be mean to others when they open up to you.”

“Exactly,” Karma grins. “Instead, we should use this moment to extract all their secrets before emotionally crushing them and making them feel as if their existence was a mistake!”

Nik’s smile stiffens. ‘This little…’

“Or use that as a chance to form a harem!” Hansel claps her hands.

Nik thins his lips before smiling wryly. “Well, try to do the latter.”

“Oi! Don’t teach them stupid things,” Irina scoffs.

“It’s not stupid, Bitch-Sensei. Pedo-Sensei says he’s got several lovers. You two are almost alike.”

“Hell, no!” Irina and Nik instantly deny it.

“I take responsibility!” Nik scoffs. “I’ll have you guys know all my lovers are satisfied with my performance outside the bedroom. Meanwhile, Bitch-Sensei here only has experience inside the bedroom.”

Irina angrily chuckles, “Some responsible man you are, lying to innocent girls and ruining their lives. Do they know about each other—”

Irina slowly stops as she observes the grave expressions of many boys and girls.

“They know?” Irina gapes.

“Heh,” Nik feels more than satisfied seeing the look on Irina’s face. It’s petty. But who told Irina to try and kiss a kid for some intel? “Your methods can only get others into the bed. Mine work beyond wedding vows.”

“Pedo-Sensei even boasts he ‘knows’ royalty!” There’s no end to Karma as Irina chokes on her saliva.

R-Royalty?!

“Well,” Nik smirks. “I’m glad I’m getting the recog… could you drop the ‘Pedo-Sensei?’” He requests for the umpteenth time.

“Nope!”

The class grins.

“Well, it’s your class, Bitch-Sensei,” Nik nods at Irina as the woman states. “Wait! I want to see what methods you are boasting about.”

She catches his collar before pulling him down as the students’ eyes widen. Karma whistles, taking out a cell phone to capture the ‘precious’ moment—yes, cell phones aren’t allowed, so it’s snatched by a higher power that Karma cannot see. He only hears a perverted ‘Nyufufufu.’

“Wow! They are going at it!” Ray plasters her face into the window from the outside, staring at the duo. She tosses a teasing smirk at Revy.

Revy tilts her head.

“That would ordinarily bother me,” Revy works her jaw. “I even tried stopping him. You know what? Good for him. I’m already kinda sore. No wonder all those babes in his personal space are happy sharing him.”

Revy already understands Nik. It’s not like he’s trying to get some.

The problem is horny bitches like Irina. But they shall feel what others felt.

Soreness…

And butterscotch.

Inside the classroom, Irina's eyes remain wide as her grip loosens.

Her spine tingles as Nik takes charge of her lips and her body as her body threatens to melt. Her hands desperately snatch at his back, clawing.

Her sparkling blue eyes gaze into his mesmerizing violet.

Nik’s tongue plays with her. His lips surprisingly leave her wanting more.

They don’t stop until a furious growl breaks them away.

“What are you two doing?!” Tadaomi barks at the duo.

Nik pulls back, smiling. He unhesitatingly throws her under the bus.

“She kissed me. I’m the victim.”

Still dazed, the Classroom glances at Irina’s dazzled appearance before Nik’s smug one.

A victim?

Are you?

***

Alternate Title: Boobs and Stupidity Go Hand-in-Hand—Kaede Kayano; No More Big Boobs; Understand Oneself; The Way of the Damned; Nik Slowly Understanding What Kyoshi Meant; Learning the Difference and Moving On; The Answer; Impatient for Growth; Nik’s Answer?; Setting Paper; Humane Irina; Regretting Words; Integrating into the Classroom; Bitch and Pedo?; Karma Do Be Wilding; Moderation? What’s That—Karma; Who Says Similar Repel? Hoe Attracts Hoe!; The Chosen Victim; Admitting Defeat; Bitch-Sensei-Approved Kiss; The Infamous Chosen One; It’s Either a Harem or Crushing the Victim’s Soul—Karma; Nik Unintentionally Creating Monsters; The Path of a Teacher.