All the World's a Stage - Chapter 25 (Patreon)

“Great job everyone!” Ondori said happily. Sasori, good work with the sets. You got them in and out so quickly!”

“It was simple, Ondori-san.”

“And Ozu, I really like what you’re doing with Fozzie, he was very expressive.”

The swordsman sent back a lazy grin. “Well, with just one puppet I can put all my focus on it. Say, what do you think about giving him, like, working eyelids? Or ears that wiggle?”

Ondori hummed. “If I have time, sure. Oh, Jiki! The opening number was lovely, you did amazing.”

Jiki looked up from where she was picking up Miss Piggy. “You think so?”

“Yeah! Miss Piggy sounded great, real natural. And the cloud suddenly collapsing was great, excellent comedic timing.”

Jiki looked away. “Yes, that was definitely on purpose. I absolutely didn’t misjudge her weight at all.”

Ondori paused, exchanged an amused look with Ozu, and said, “It’s good to see you feel confident enough with the role already that you can ad-lib, but let’s try and stick to the script next time.”

“Unless it’s funny,” Kermit said.

“Unless it’s funny,” Ondori repeated.

Yaji and Chosho walked backstage, carrying their puppets. “Not a bad show at all, young man,” Yaji said.

“You think so?”

“Not really,” Chosho said, grinning. “But who are we to judge? The audience enjoyed it.”

“There’s no accounting for taste,” Yaji added. The old man’s expression softened. “In all seriousness, good job, all of you. This is the most fun I’ve had in years.”

“Seconded.”

“But right now I need to get home and seated,” Yaji said with a groan. He rolled his shoulder, popping it loudly. “Wish we had a chair up there.”

“But then we couldn’t see the show over the railing?” Chosho pointed out.

Yaji grinned, and it was Statler who said, “My point exactly!”

The two old men laughed and said their farewells. Ondori smiled after them. “This is going to be fun. Sawa, I had an idea for next week; what are the chances you--”

“Actually,” Ozu said, interrupting. “Sawa and Shinema won’t be here Friday or next week. They’re participating in the Exams.”

Ondori blinked, bewildered.

“I know I told you this,” Sawa said, a touch reproachfully.

Ondori’s face screwed up in an effort of memory. “Right. I knew that. Shinema too? Where was she tonight?”

“That girl was operating the spotlights,” Jiki said. “Weren’t you paying attention at all?”

“I never saw her,” Ondori said, looking around. “In fact I don’t think I’ve met her yet, is she still around? I can at least wish her luck--”

“Mister Puppeteer!”

Ondori jumped, nearly knocking Kermit off his shoulder, and turned around to see a small form pushing through the curtains. He beamed when he saw who it was. “Aki! It feels like it’s been ages since I saw you at a show!”

Behind him, he heard Jiki and Ozu murmur about how it was possible he hadn’t met Shinema yet despite working on the show with her for two weeks, but he didn’t pay it any mind because his #1 fan was hugging his leg.

Ondori crouched down and let Kermit fall to his feet.

“Hi, Mister Frog!”

“Hi-ho, Aki. I’ve heard a lot about you,” Kermit said. Ondori looked around. “Are your parents around?”

“Yeah, mama’s--”

The woman emerged from the curtains. “Right here, I’m here. Aki, I told you not to run off!”

“But Mama, it’s the Muppets!”

“She’s not really wrong,” Ondori said. He chuckled when Aki sent him a betrayed look. “Not that I don’t like seeing you, but there might have been work going on back here. You might have gotten hurt. Speaking of--everyone, time to start cleaning up! Got to put the props away for the night!”

He stood back up as he said this, and the crew went to work. Ondori went to go assist, but he obviously couldn’t do that without saying goodbye. “I’m glad you came to say hello regardless. Did you enjoy the--ho?” He tilted his head as he noticed that Aki’s hand was covered in something red. “What have you got there?”

Aki’s mother smiled in a mix of embarrassed and proud, as the little girl gleefully held out her hand for inspection. “Look! I made this, all by myself!”

It was a simple red sock, faded with age. Probably her older brother’s, since it was too big to be hers but not big enough to be an adult’s. It had a black patch on the sole, and the way she was holding it made it look like the mouth of a creature. And there were two plastic balls, white, inexpertly sewn onto the ‘top’ of the sock. They had a black dot in the center, facing out.

It was a puppet. A simple sock puppet, and Aki looked incredibly proud of it.

“You made this yourself, huh?” Ondori asked, setting Kermit aside for the moment. “You sewed the eyes on?”

“Mama taught me how!” She stuck her tongue out and with a high pitched voice she made the puppet say, “Aki did  a great job!”

He looked up at the woman curiously, and she nodded. “She insisted on doing it herself. I kept a careful watch the whole time.”

“Amazing.” Ondori looked over his shoulder. Shinobi were efficient and they were already mostly done putting everything away. He turned back to her. “Hey, Aki, how old are you?”

“I turned five last week!”

Ondori looked at the mother as he asked, “Are you in the Academy yet?”

Aki shook her head, and it was her mother who answered. “We were waiting until next year. Her brother is in his second year right now, but we’re not sure if he’s going to finish. He hasn’t taken to all the exercise as the instructors would like.”

Ondori snorted. “I feel that. Well.” He considered for a moment longer. “Aki, want to learn how to make a chakra string?”

-------------------

A ways behind Ondori, Jiki and Ozu watched him promise to teach a five-year-old an A-rank jutsu.

“Ridiculous,” Jiki grumbled. “It’s just a stupid sock puppet.”

Ozu raised an eyebrow at her. “Really? Making fun of a child?”

“Shut up.”

“We all have to start somewhere. Besides, I think it’s a good idea.”

“You don’t really think she can do it, do you? I couldn’t make a stable chakra string until I was in my third year!”

“I bet you started trying a lot later too, though,” Ozu pointed out. “But that’s not why. I think it’s a good idea for Ondori. He put the frog away to talk to her.”

Jiki looked again. Kermit had been sat down, facing the conversation with his arms in his lap, but untouched. “So?”

Ozu shifted his weight from one leg to the other. “...The Kazekage shouldn’t have sent him on a solo mission, I think.”

He didn’t elaborate, and Jiki suddenly decided she didn’t care to ask again. “Well, the stupid stage is cleaned up. Can I go home now?”

Ozu eyed Piggy, at Jiki’s feet, then shrugged. “Sure, why not? In fact, I’ll escort you.”

Jiki scowled. “I don’t need an escort!”

“It’s me or Vulture, and he’s creepy.”

“Vult--” Jiki’s neck hair stood on end, and she looked up. An ANBU on the ceiling of the tent, clinging to the canvas like a giant insect. His veil was decorated with a birdlike pattern. “How long has he been there?!”

Ozu laughed humorlessly. “Did you really think you’d be allowed out of that cell without supervision, so soon? C’mon.” He lightly punched her shoulder. “We can grab a drink before we get you back. I was going to invite Ondori, but he looks occupied. I was going to invite Pakura too, but she’s vanished already.”

Jiki flinched. “Good! I don’t want to drink with her anymore than I do with you.”

Ozu shrugged. “Suit yourself. Back to the cell until Thursday, I guess.”

“...Maybe just one drink.”

“I figured. Let’s--”

She glared at him. “I’m not going anywhere alone with you! I’m waiting for Ondori.”

They looked back over to the puppeteer. Aki’s mother looked distinctly worried, and the girl was staring at her fingers like they’d offended her. Ondori just looked focused.

“...” Ozu sighed. “You know what, that’s probably for the best. Yo, Rooster!” he called, walking over to help the mother escape.

--------------------------------

Rasa walked away from the tent with Karura by his side, face impassive.

“The talking houses were very strange, weren’t they?” she said. “Just a silly joke and then it was done. I wonder why they built such an extensive set for such a quick joke.”

“I would hope that they plan on using it more than just once,” Rasa said. “I imagine there are a number of, ugh, building puns they can use for it.”

Karura looked over her shoulder. “Is my brother still following us? I swear I just felt someone looking at me.”

Rasa rolled his eyes. “Yashamaru… Do you know why your brother doesn’t like me?”

Pakura suddenly appeared on his other side, startling Karura. “He thinks you’re an ass, Rasa.” She smiled at the other girl. “Sorry, Karura, I didn’t mean to frighten you.”

“Oh, it’s fine,” she said, with barely a shake. “One of these days I’ll get used to you ninja sneaking up on me.”

“How did you enjoy the show?” Pakura asked.

Karura smiled, but Rasa just grunted. “Fishing for compliments, are we?”

“Rasa! Be nice!” she said. “Ignore him, you were lovely, Pakura. I didn’t know you could sing.”

“I didn’t either,” she said honestly. “It was more fun than I expected.”

Karura hummed. With a mischievous smile, she batted her eyes at Rasa. “Maybe you should guest star on the show. I’d love to hear you sing me a song~.”

Rasa nearly tripped. “What?! No. I do not--no, absolutely not. I don't sing.”

“Oh, don’t be a stick in the mud, Gold Dust,” Pakura teased. “I bet you’d make a fine baritone.”

“I refuse to entertain this any further.” His face could have been carved from stone, but the effect was ruined by his embarrassed blush.

Pakura laughed. “Fine, fine. Oh, Karura! Here.” She handed the other woman a few ryo. “Shinema-chan was selling the last of the popcorn off, and I didn’t get any since I was onstage. Would you?”

“Certainly, Pakura-san.” Karura gave Rasa a peck on the cheek and walked off to find the vendor.

Rasa’s face cleared and he gave Pakura a glare. “Alright, she’s gone. What do you really want?”

Pakura’s smile dropped slightly. She layered a genjutsu around the two of them so they wouldn’t be overheard. “I saw Jiraiya in his disguise in the audience.”

Rasa scowled. “How can you be sure it was him?”

“I was in the Kage’s office when he checked in. If I hadn’t been I might never have known.”

Rasa groaned and rubbed his temples. “I don’t understand these dramatics. Why the subterfuge? Why the disguise?” A look of horror crossed his face. “You don’t think Sensei’s caught whatever madness has infected Ondori, do you?”

“Of course not. I may not understand why Sandaime-sama is humoring Konoha’s antics, but I trust that he wouldn’t do so without a good reason.” Pakura tilted her head, hand on chin. “Maybe… it’s to prove that he means no harm? To show he was here all along and never did anything wrong?”

Rasa gave her a look that told her exactly what he thought of that theory.

“Well what do you think it is?”

“I think this ‘training mission’ for the Toad Sage’s students was poorly conceived, rushed out before a second draft, and is going to end badly.” He sighed. “But it’s hardly the most ridiculous thing going on in this village right now, so maybe it’ll be alright.”

“You didn’t like the show I take it,” Pakura said, dropping the privacy veil.

“I don’t dislike it,” Rasa admitted. “I could do without the jokes, but the songs are alright. I can appreciate the effort going into it, I just feel that the likes of Ozu and Sasori could be making better use of their time.”

Pakura frowned, but that was about when Karura returned with popcorn.

She handed the bag over with a smile. “You know, if you wanted to talk about classified information you only had to ask me to leave.”

Pakura pushed the conversation away and chuckled. “I wasn’t lying, I really did want popcorn. Thank you.”