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A Song Of Cyberpunk (The Jimquisition) (Patreon)

Published:
2020-12-21 13:06:51
Imported:
2021-01

Content

Hey, did you hear about Cyberpunk? The game of the year, except the versions that are total junk! 

It's a singin' Jimquisition this week as we take a look at the unbelievably humiliating week CD Projekt RED has endured since the incompetent release of Cyberpunk 2077. It's been quite an ordeal.   

From bugs to takedowns to international appeasement, CDPR has managed to do to its credibility in a matter of days what most publishers take years to accomplish.   

(Backing music for the song courtesy of Storyblocks. Lyrics written by Jim Sterling, feverishly in the middle of the night at random).

Files

A Song Of Cyberpunk (The Jimquisition)

http://www.patreon.com/jimquisition http://www.twitch.tv/jimsterling Hey, did you hear about Cyberpunk? The game of the year, except the versions that are total junk! It's a singin' Jimquisition this week as we take a look at the unbelievably humiliating week CD Projekt RED has endured since the incompetent release of Cyberpunk 2077. It's been quite an ordeal. From bugs to takedowns to international appeasement, CDPR has managed to do to its credibility in a matter of days what most publishers take years to accomplish. (Backing music for the song courtesy of Storyblocks. Lyrics written by Jim Sterling, feverishly in the middle of the night at random). #Cyberpunk2077 #CDPR #Bugs #PC #PS5 #XboxSeriesX #XboxOne #PS4 #CDProjekt #JimSterling #ASongOfCyberpunk #Jimquisition #Music #RPG #Games #Gaming #Videogame __ Twitter: https://twitter.com/jimsterling Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jimsterling0 Bandcamp of the Sax Dragon - https://carlcatron.bandcamp.com Nathan Hanover - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC-8L7n7l11PJM6FFcI6Ju8A

Comments

Kherbellos

"The Version that's really good, the optimal version... is now an accidental roguelike" I am only 6 minutes in the video, but that is my favourite sentence XD

Kherbellos
>>49919429

Also, thank you Jason for lowering the vibrance of the apology note

Anonymous

Wow. That was pure gold.

Anonymous

This song is amazing! I'm happy to be able to support you here, it's worth every penny. Thank you for all you do!

Lea Chinelo

Ha, this was great! At this point you might as well rename the show to "I Told You So".

LonMcGregor

I would hope that yet another example of a game studio over promising and under delivering would be enough to divert the discourse into something more critical, but chances are slim to none that anything will change in the long run.

shadowscribble

Jim knows how to take a victory lap and drink in all that sweet vindication.

Trevor Bond

The song was marvelous! And yeah, it's been about four days of Cyberpunk Buyer's Remorse for all the people that were OFFENDED that I wasn't going to buy a game for consoles I don't own and that I wasn't getting it for my computer that couldn't run it. Now I make a point of asking them every single day how they're enjoying Cyberpunk. Aaaahhhhhhh...... 'real gamer' tears are true nourishment!

Daryl

I do wish Jim had added 20 seconds to mention how CDPR used Cyberpunk 2077 as a gateway to adding DRM to GOG (via its in-game activation required "My Rewards" system, which is basically a "first hit's free" microtransaction), pissing off tons of us who didn't even care about the game itself (but rather care about GOG as the preferred digital games store because of its consumer friendly DRM-free status), and just showing how happy they are to burn all their goodwill at once.

zosa

so..... when are you going to upload the song on its own?

Perpetual Noob

Fantastic opening, fantastic video! 😃

Ben L.

I did not expect the title to be literal. And I fucking love it.

Anonymous

Okay well I didn't expect today to be the day I decide to write a song for Jim Fucking Sterling Son to perform vocals on... but I hear P O T E N T I A L in that voice

RedBedroomRecords

I hope you're not implying that the behind-the-scenes stuff with Naughty Dog should automatically disqualify Last of Us 2 from any and all awards, as that's definitely not fair to the devs that worked hard on this game(BTW Best Directing has nothing to do with project management, it's about cinematography and things of that nature, if we're going to follow that logic, then like 90% of films that won Best Picture would be disqualified as well) and regardless of what you think it's still a huge landmark to have a AAA game with a lesbian protagonist and a prominent trans character be a massive critical and commercial success and i for one am glad it won all those awards as a giant middle finger to all those shitheads that harassed Laura Bailey and Neil Druckman with death and rape threats.

RedBedroomRecords

Are you saying ANY positive reviews of big AAA games like Last of Us 2 are "useless"? Gonna have to strongly disagree with you on that one, Last of Us 2 wasn't misrepresented in interviews or a buggy mess on launch, so comparing it to CDPR makes no sense. You can't expect EVERY single review of a AAA to negative, that's just unrealistic, I don't find it all hard to believe that people genuinely loved that game, I sure as hell did, it's my favorite game of all time.

Leaf

Given that Jim Sterling is the punk and CDPR is the antipunk, we should have all anticipated the brilliant explosion that is this musical.

Anonymous

Glad I'm a patron for stuff like this. Good work, Jim.

Benedict Holland

Remember 76? It was 1 day that they went from gamers defending th to their death to ripping Todd Howard apart and demanding blood. It was about 6 months of total fuckups and another 12 to get a patch that made it a fallout game. Their stock sunk so low that Microsoft bought them. CDPR didn't learn from this. CDPR will get purchased by someone soon.

Anonymous
>>49930783

Given Jim's documented disdain for award shows in general and the Video Game Awards in particular, I think that's exactly what he was implying. Pretty sure Jim also doesn't consider critical acclaim and awards the same thing. Hate to be pedantic, but the VGA's describe the "Best Game Direction" award as being "AWARDED FOR OUTSTANDING CREATIVE VISION AND INNOVATION IN GAME DIRECTION AND DESIGN." The award for Best Art Direction is more in line with what you were describing. That being said, I definitely agree that it's huge for there to be LGBTQ+ representation in critical and commercially successful properties. And having Laura Bailey win best performance was certainly a giant middle finger to the shitheads who harassed her and Neil Druckman. Because fuck those guys.

Anonymous
>>49931072

I don't think it's the positivity or negativity of a AAA review that makes it useless. If the review doesn't (or in this case, is not allowed to) mention performance problems or bugs they encountered then it can make the review worthless from a "Should I buy this or wait" perspective. Because if you don't have a high-end PC or a next-gen console, knowing that the game is in no way ready for release on the last-gen consoles is pretty important to know before you drop a bunch of money on it. It's part of the reason why I'm waiting until they get the save file issue fixed on PC before I buy it, for example.

RedBedroomRecords
>>49935463

I doubt it, unlike 76 Cyberpunk at least sold VERY well and has a considerably larger amount of defenders, so I can easily see CDPR turning 2077 around with a few more patches and it'll enjoy a resurgence of good will much like No Man's Sky did after it got several huge updates.

RedBedroomRecords
>>49930783

"Direction and design" isn't related to project management though. I asked this question because i've seen other pundits argue that it was only the "Best Direction" award the game should not have won and not the others. Like its really not fair to say penalize Laura Bailey for winning her award just because of a few behind the scenes issue.

RedBedroomRecords
>>49931072

Well yeah that stuff is relevant to 2077, but for a game that launched without those issues like TLOU2 it's not relevant, so i'm not quite sure why Jim claimed that ALL positive reviews of all AAA games are "useless' when in reality that's just plain not true.

Benedict Holland
>>49935463

I am sure they will turn it around, like how 76 became a fallout game after 12 months. It took no man's sky 2 years. It will take 12 months for this to become a good game, like we knew it would.

RedBedroomRecords
>>49935463

I don't think it will take nearly that long considering that the entire gameplay structure of the game isn't fundamentally flawed unlike No Man's Sky or 76, it's just the glitches and performance issues that are really weighing it down, so I can see this game only needing a few months worth of patches before it becomes more playable for everyone. It was the same deal with Witcher 3 really, that game had bugged quests for months and confusing menus which took a while to fully patch.

Benedict Holland
>>49931072

Games journalism isn't journalism at all. It is really just propaganda. The game companies decide who, when, what, and how to display a game. They chose and fund publications, they select who gets to review the game, they have embargoes on content, and then they get to select the exact build and build content gets reviewed. Within the confines of that space, a review is absolutely useless. In fact, if a reviewer does not agree to the propaganda, dares to point out bugs, breaks their NDA, talks about stuff they were not allowed to discuss, or breaks any of the terms, they will be sued into oblivion and that publication will never get a review code from anyone. This isn't an objective or unbiased review, like a movie or car review. Games publications are beholden to the games companies for content or risk going out of business. If you force a reviewer to look at only the beautiful and working bits of the game, what score do you expect? 76 had 10/10s on launch day. YouTube was inundated with cyberpunk reviews stating how amazing the game was and in very fine print, running on an SLI 3090 or 2080ti with 64gb of ram and an i10 on a 10gbps m2 or ssd. You know, a normal 10k gaming rig that all pc gamers have and that a ps4 can emulate. So again, are they worthless? Yea. Until launch day, all reviews are advertisements that are cherry picked by game companies to highlight the best their game can be. After so many 9 and 10 scores for garbage games, like anthem, 76, avengers, 2077, godfall, every tom Clancy game, ass creed and the rest of the ubisoft shlock, how haven't we learned this lesson yet? BTW, the last of us 2 was a 7.5 game. The first half was a solid 10. The second half was way too long, unfun, way too heavy on battles, and made the same point about 50 times. I loved all of the characters and the story but it needed about 8 hours ripped out of it and in the second half it could have had half the battles. I found myself asking if this chapter was finally over and when I could be done with it. In the last big battle both sides who hated each other for decades put away their hostilities for 2 kids running away. Also, how were their so many damn people and why is killing humans a priority in a zombie apocalypse?

Anonymous

THATS FUCKING IT. Jim, that HRT line, and the whole fucking year of amazing content caused me to finally feel the need to sub after watching for. fucking. years.. The effort in that fucking song, and ESP the Bethesda song? Please take this dollar directly from my pansexual canadian anus and enjoy. Fucking royalty. Also, is there a PO box? I have cosmetics (lippies and liner, not microtransactions to send)

Alex

I want to play this game... and enjoy it... at some point in time. And I have to wait a month, because this has to be cleaned up with patches.

RedBedroomRecords
>>49930783

But my point is that's not a factor for the Oscars, so why should it be a factor here? When they say "best director" at the Oscars, they aren't talking about project management, they are talking about film shots and how good it looks, so I see nothing wrong with TLOU2 winning in that department, besides unlike CDPR I truly do believe ND can change for the better.

RedBedroomRecords
>>49931072

Jim would disagree with you there, your post is sounding an awful lot like the kind of shit those gamergaters spout all the time about how "you can't trust journalists". Also plenty of us do like Ubisoft games and Tom Clancy games so i'm not seeing anything wrong with those getting high scores. I disagree with TLOU2 being a 7.5 game, I think it's a 10 easy, no other story in ANY fictional piece of media ever affected me as deeply or as long as that game's did and no other gameplay enthralled me so thoroughly from beginning to end. I thought it was plenty "fun" and I loved that it was heavy on battles(which the first game absolutely was as well)I think the game's length was perfect, I would not have changed a damn thing(Alien Isolation on the other hand definitely could've had it's last few hours ripped out and been all the better for it) I'm actually glad the game focused more on the human enemies then the zombies, because frankly just killing zombies would not have been nearly as interesting and besides Dying Light and the Dead Rising games already had that department covered pretty well. I thought it was realistic enough, real life wars have ended over less so it didn't seem that farfetched to me. There is no such thing as an "objective" or "unbiased" review for anything, Jim himself has said as much, the idea that a movie review can be "unbiased" but a game review cannot is downright laughable.

RedBedroomRecords
>>49931072

Again i'm not talking about 2077 reviews specifically, i'm just wondering why Jim conflated other AAA games with that game when most other AAA games haven't had launch problems that severe, it especially does not make sense to compare a console-exclusive like TLOU2, it's reviews were very useful to me and many others.

RedBedroomRecords
>>49943472

Jim used to have a PO box when he was in Mississippi, but he hasn't gotten around to setting up a new one just yet. Which is too bad as there's some stuff I want to send him.

Anonymous

reaching some Oasis level word stretching there and I love it so very much

JackMagic

So how are the Jimquisition Awards and Top Ten Shitties Games videos for this year going to work? After this there's only one more Monday before the year ends.

jimquisition
>>49943472

Thank you so much! Thanks everybody, I'm so glad you like the song. :-D No new PO Box yet. It's on the to-do list.

jimquisition
>>49966108

I don't like doing things outside of the year they apply to, but one of the episodes will have to be in January.

JackMagic
>>49966108

Totally understandable. I know the Song of Cyberpunk video had to be made (you were on top form, by the way), and I certainly don't want you to crunch on two important Jimquisitions just to keep them within the year.

Michael Bowerman

I love this new blue and pink wrestling mask - I don't think I've seen this exact design before. Song's good too :P

Anonymous

From a pan fan, absolutely loving the new mask. And heartiest congrats on the HRT beginning! The hell with Cyberpunk!