Home
Artists
Search Recent Random
Posts
Search DMs Popular Hash Lookup Tags Random
Importer
Import FAQ
Register
Partychan Telegram Live Sex ThePornDude
Home Artists Posts Import Register

Three Square Meals Ch 75 - Complete! (Patreon)

Published:
2017-04-09 17:09:05
Edited:
2017-04-11 20:23:17
Imported:
2021-01

Downloads

Content

It's finished! 

At 51k this is much larger than a normal chapter, and is intended to wrap up a few important story arcs.

I hope you enjoy it!

Tefler

P.S. I did another quick edit, and expanded a couple of scenes based on feedback.

Comments

Jared

NICE!!!

Crom

Oh hell yes!

Anonymous

How to make this beautiful day even better! :) Love your work!

Tefler

Sorry it took a while. The editors came up with a shitload of changes, which took about 10 hours to go through. FYI, adding in significant new scenes or dialogue is much harder than just writing normally. You have to make sure it all makes sense, no word repetition, dialogue flow isn't interrupted etc... ugh!

Muledrvr

Whee.... I had to delay my leaving, so this works out well :D

Evan

Thank You!

Anonymous

Thanks Tef!

Anonymous

yessss.. thanks muchly

Anonymous

I'm getting a "can't open file" after downloading. The file size is very small. No problem downloading previous chapters though.

Anonymous

Yes getting same error

Anonymous

WOOWHO!!!

Anonymous

I'm getting a can't download error

Anonymous

Yeah I've tried numerous times but continue to get an error when trying to open. I put in a request to Patreon as I guess they are having issues?

Anonymous

All good things come to ye who wait... patiently... erm...

Anonymous

Finally got it to work by going to Google Drive on my tablet and opening it that way. Odd...

Malthe Mørk Mejlby

Totally worth the wait :) It would have been so painful to wait another 10 days to get all this resolved

Wookey

Best ever. Wonderfully woven story. Hard to believe the way it worked out.

Anonymous

I liked the way the battles were portrayed. :)

Anonymous

cant really say more, yet. Cuz of spoilers. But well done

Anonymous

IM ABOUT TO DIVE BOIS SEE U ALL ON THE OTHER SIDE!! :)

Anonymous

whens 76 good read keep up the good work love it thanks

Anonymous

Another fantastic chapter, very nicely done, but damn you for the little teaser at the end of the chapter.

Anonymous

Great chapter. Absolutely loved Faye pulling the WarGames bit. There was a little nod to Starship Troopers in there too, was that intentional? One thing though, maybe just an error, but where was Sakura during the "sleepover"? She wasn't listed as present when John, Alyssa, & Edraele were heading out to dinner.

Morningfrost

Great chapter Tefler. Also, you're a bastard for that end-of-chapter teaser :p ~Morningfrost

Anonymous

Oh it flew as I hoped. Tensions climaxing, really bad ass enhancements to the ship and things with tashana coming to a conclusion (hard to compliment without leaving big spoilers^^) I just have to say it was really emotional and I had to squint away more than one tear this chapter. THANK YOU for your wonderfull work!

Anonymous

Such a satisfying conclusion to this story arc, I can just feel the tension leaving me - I can even forgive the sneaky hint to the next story arc at the end!

Kim Biel-Nielsen

This is reallyan extremely exciting chapter. I absolutely loved it. It is good that Tashana was saved in the end.

Anonymous

Really appreciate the satisfying way to end the story arc. The extra wait and length were worth it. As for the future, I really hope terran storyline precludes the ashanath storyline but that's just my personal preference. Like everyone, thanks for this chapter. Also, I had a question about ur writing, mostly to do with how you created the world and it's details and weave them into a story especially as you didn't start writing with the whole thing in mind. (from what i understand) Mostly I want to start a similar middle earth-type fantasy but am terrified that I won't be able to write the complex story ideas with the scope. Cheers!

Anonymous

Definitely one of the best chapters in the series, and the pay-off made up for some of the artifices involved in the set-up. The Wargames idea to resolve the conflict (and have exciting battles) without slaughering millions of Maliri was brilliant (and brilliantly foreshadowed as always). It was also fitting that the final actual battle was between Tashana and Alyssa. The key to Tashana was asking for her help - this could perhaps have been done sooner or better, but was an excellent resolution. My only reservations are with the final segment. Memories define who we are, and deleting them, even with approval, is morally wrong, because it undermines individual identity and freedom. Tashana has all too readily been seduced into what she most feared from her studies of the Mael'nerak, and none of the crew seems to have taken that into account.

Wookey

Tefler, can I suggest you include a table in the final version showing the stats on Invictus 1, 2 & 3. Alternative is to just publish it here. Would love to have a ready reckoner of the changes that have been made.

Stijn Van Hove

Crap. Saw this post too late. If I start reading now I'll end up staying awake until 4 AM and I got too important meetings tomorrow to risk sleep deprivation :( Guess I'll have to wait until after work. I'll be reading this in about 18 hours.

Wookey
>>4630464

MF, it is a regular thing now so we should be used to it by now

Tefler
>>4629913

It was fun to write things a little bit differently for a major fleet engagement. I was worried that with no "stakes" in the simulated ship deaths it might take out some of the tension, but it seemed to work out okay!

Tefler
>>4630164

Cheers! Just a little hint as to what's going on in the wider world at the end there! ;-)

Tefler
>>4630435

I very much had "WarGames" in mind, when I was planning this one, although I haven't seen that movie in about 20 years! I love Starship Troopers, and there's been a few homages in the story so far, but I can't recall one in this chapter. Any chance you could let me know what you were thinking of? Oh and that was a mistake on Sakura! Well spotted! I've corrected that on the master document.

Tefler
>>4630711

Thanks Lukas, it's great to hear you enjoyed it! There were a few scenes I've been planning for months, so I'm glad they managed to tug at the old heart strings. :-)

Tefler
>>4630026

I've only made a few notes for chapter 76 so far, I'll crack on with that tomorrow! I'm pleased you enjoyed it!

Tefler
>>4630763

I always want story arcs to end in a satisfying way, so that's really nice to hear, thanks!

Tefler
>>4630917

That's great you loved the chapter! :-) It's nice to hear you found it exciting too. It would be disappointing to hear if action scenes seemed boring, so I try and keep them lively!

Tefler
>>4631199

Yeah I think people were finding the waiting hard going, but I had a lot to set up, and was juggling quite a few story arcs, so it took a little time to get everything lined up!

Tefler
>>4631559

Cheers John! Interesting feedback, thanks! I'd love to comment on some of the points you raised, but I can't because I'll give away spoilers. ;-)

Tefler
>>4631888

Yeah I promised I'd post it here, thanks for reminding me!

Tefler

To give credit where it's due, the simulator idea came from FatherSin, one of my editors, about... 6 months ago? I thought it was an interesting idea, so waited to find a good place to use it, and wove it into the story here.

Wookey
>>4632200

Now you have named him, we know who to blame when the chapters are a bit slow in coming out....

Anonymous

I just came up for air i honestly loved this chapter and got say Tefler I actually during reading it guessed he was going to use the asteroid field demonstration to show his power against the malari forces with Tashana.

Anonymous

forgot to put a big Thank You in to you Tefler so THANK YOU!!!

Anonymous

Nicely done Tefler. Funny thing - I was about to say "wait a minute, after every upgrade they have to go blow away a bunch of asteroids"... way to integrate that simple guilty pleasure into a key event in the story. I have to say now though, you have us all chomping at the bit for another "key event" chapter with a full out domination space battle. This was like a tease. But now you have opened up an avenue for us to get what we want with the Drakkar. I think that a total annihilation of them is in order and should satisfy our blood lust for a few chapters. Really it just comes down to whether we have to wait for a wrapup chapter for the Miliri - or whether John will rush to Ashanath space, and return to the Maliri again after a week or so. On a separate note however, something has been bothering me as I went back through the early chapters. I recently reread the chapter where Alyssa started shaping Invictus hull pieces for the first time without the psi-shaper. The thing that has been bothering me is that the armour was black (as was the Drakkar armour and the Invictus' first psi-shaped armour.) But when Alyssa shaped it without the psi-shaper, it turned white. Now the unknown progenitor vessel has black armour as well. So might that mean that Alyssa is more psychically powerful than the progenitor (or whomever else) shaped the unknown progenitor vessel? I thought that it might have to do with which elements were used in the shaping metal, but all of Alyssa's shaping ended up being white. I have to assume that this is not just "good guys wear white cowboy hats and evil wear black".

Tefler
>>4632407

You're welcome, and I'm really pleased you enjoyed the chapter. :-)

Tefler
>>4632473

Yeah, although I had the simulator idea planned out months ago, the asteroid bit I came up with on the fly. It seemed like a fun way of integrating their normal post-upgrade ritual into the story! I'm aware that I've been teasing you with fights for a while now. Chapter 71 was all from the bad guys perspective (which didn't really count), then events played out the way they did here. Stand by for action! ;-)

CJ Mora

Amazing chapter, Tefler! While I'm a huge fan of the space battle scenes, I love the way you find satisfactory resolution without a shot being fired! The scene with Edraele, Irilith, and Tashana was WICKED HOT!!! I damn near gave myself a 'psyche-gasm' just reading it! I can't wait for John and the ladies to start cranking out some rugrats...gonna be so much fun to listen to the ladies thoughts as he impregnates them. Sex aside, one of the most satisfying chapters you've written to date! Great work!

Anonymous

Ok nobody else said it but I also liked the homage to Hitchhikers Guide (or one of the sequels, I can't recall exactly which) ... the 30-meter high flaming wall of letters...a blatant homage to the "Sorry for the Inconvenience" flaming letters from God in one of the Douglas Adams' books. heh. I was actually somewhat worried about this chapter possibly rushing the resolution of the Tashana saga. ...and I think that in part my worries are slightly justified. It's not that you didn't to a great job here Tefler, you clearly did. But this whole part of here saga still feels slightly...rushed - even though you basically followed my own previously suggested "have Alyssa or somebody smack some sense into her" line of thinking. Yes, I'm being obtuse and self-contradictory. *sigh* Perhaps I'm still just wishing for "even more" out of this part of the story, even though you delivered in spades (as the saying goes). In political-speak terms, it should not be lost on the rest of the Matriarchy of the Maliri Regency that John took Tashana's blast of flames onto himself rather than allow one of their members to become the target of those gouts of flame from Tashana. He suited action to his intentions and words - and did so right before their collected, startled and alarmed eyes. In hero-worship terms, he just saved Terra from destruction--again, and right in front of everyone's (well everyone who is truly important in Maliri society's) naked eyes - and at significant cost to himself in the process. Now, though I'm _really_ feeling the need to push the "security forces"-ist agenda into the story a bit here. Once the Maliri realize the danger of having yet another Progenitor on the loose...they will be even MORE alarmed and concerned about the "Where is John? ...and what's he planning next?" set of questions then the Terran Federation Admiralty likely feels by now! I've heard it said that every military leader in the world today pauses to reflect on "Where are the American's Aircraft Carriers now?" before planning on making serious military moves - because those Nimitz-class ships can be such game-changers when they show up. Surely John has reached this level of importance in TFed and Maliri (as well as Ashanath) spaces by now? Some significant groups of strategic-defense-minded war-college sorts of people in each of those dominions are busily working on wargaming those sorts of questions about John (and the other Progenitor). Clearly, the Ashanath are aware...

rich ed

loved the rap up of this chapter and the war games was an inspired way out of a delicate situation. Wondering on how his admiral buddy is going, he will be blown away by the recent upgrades to his old ship. Hope we get to see him again in the near future, perhaps another shopping trip..... Maybe lucky enough to bump into those douche bags outside of the nightclub from last time....

Anonymous

Once again, very well done..... Keep up the excellent work....

Jim lynch

I really think this is prob the best chapter so far from battle action to lumps in my throat I loved it all thank you so so much I can't wait for John to help the ashanth now kick some drakker ass. Thank you tefler your getting better and better as each chapter arrives.

Anonymous

AMAZING! "Play the game" I loved it! :)

Anonymous

One of the Best Chapter Tefler Thank You.

Anonymous

Just plain amazing!!

Evan

Great chapter, Tefler. Minor typos. "It comes in quiet handy" should probably be "It comes in quite handy." No? Perhaps "all of you were longing to having a baby" should be "all of you were longing to have a baby?" Not going to comment on realised vs. realized... ;-)

Grimlakin

Another fun read. Though I get the gut feeling you wrapped up Tashana just to wrap her up. Curious what her role is going to be if she isn't linked to anyone. Is her psychic fire an outside force or alternate personality that was erased? Questions abound.

Anonymous

Tefler, Great story and you have once again out done expectation. I think that I like this chapter best. I await you're next chapter with great eagerness. Thank you for the entertaining hours!!!!

Morningfrost
>>4635876

She'll end up linked to Alyssa. Remember, they don't show up linked to Alyssa until after the 3rd dose, but Maliri that get linked to Edraele show up linked after the very 1st dose. The psychic fire is still her. She didn't tap into the fire until she basically went psychotic, and you could see the crazy inherent in bringing forth the flames. Even during Tashana's first chapter when she's trying to escape from Hades, she basically treats the flames like they're alive even though they're just a psychic manifestation of her rage. ~Morningfrost

Jedi Khan

Well...damn. Can't really say much more than that. That was certainly some impressive build up, and then to have it all resolved so quickly? I can't help but feel like Murphy is just waiting right around the corner, ready to enforce his Law on the group. I'm sure Sun Tzu would appreciate John's handling of that confrontation between the Matriarchs. It's a basic principle of war that the best way to win one is to destroy the enemy's will to fight rather than the enemy themselves, and John did that rather handily. I can't help but think of that line from the first Iron Man movie, with Tony Stark showing off his new missile: "Some people say the best type of weapon is one you never have to use. I disagree. The best type of weapon is one you only have to use once. That's how dad did it. That's how Uncle Sam does it. And it's worked out pretty well so far." (actual clip: <a href="https://youtu.be/KNAgFhh1ji4?t=15s" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">https://youtu.be/KNAgFhh1ji4?t=15s</a> ) I was looking forward to having the battle be the field test for the new Invictus, but instead they found a way to victimize yet another innocent asteroid field. Although, I'm wondering if the asteroid field is going to stay that way from now on. Imagine a few hundred years later, someone pops into the system, sees the asteroid field like it is and goes "Wtf?" Tashana...poor ol' Tashana. She was so full of vim and vinegar, and then she kinda just...deflated. Perhaps her genetics recognized Alyssa as a Progenitor, but because Alyssa is a female, the effect was not the same or nearly as pronounced as it was for John? Of course, I'm sure the display of raw power had something to do with it as well.

Wanderer

The ashanth 's talk of releasing project legacy brought up a weird question.What is the entertainment (apart from building harems) in this universe? advance vr/simulations? what are the video game equivalent in this world? also where are the Malari childrens? I know they haven't bred much, but it's weird that there is no talk of children?Do they just skip to adulthood?Also, no talk of kids in this universe at all. like i said, weird questions, Am i overthinking this? maybe i am ...

Nekronom

I truly enjoyed the chapter. The Hitchhiker reference did not go unnoticed, the Wargames solution was also greatly appreciated. I did not see Ceradens daughters coming even though the hints where blatantly obvious, in hindsight. I do agree with John Jameson about the memory modification, this is unethical and hints of conflicts to come... (Johns deviation from his clean moral path could not go unpunished.) About the Drakkar raiders: I disagree with Jeff. A genocide could never be a solution! Interestingly enough we only saw male raiders so far. It reminds me of the Wikings where a part of the population raided Europe while the female and the non-warrior population stayed home, living a totally different sort live. There must be a similar divide in the Drakkar society. I can't see that bunch of narrow minded thugs construct a spaceship, they aren’t even able to properly maintain a space ship. So I think there is a (great?) part of the population doing the work and maintaining a civilization while being suppressed by a genetically modified warrior caste... Another genetically challenged people to be saved by our benevolent hero.

Jedi Khan
>>4637908

John does seem to have a bit of an unhealthy obsession with wiping "bad" memories (and generally throwing his spunk around as a cure-all). I don't have a degree in psychology (that's the science of memories and stuff, right?), but even I'm pretty sure memories themselves are not bad, it's the emotional context that defines them. As we saw, simply removing the emotions associated with the memories did the girl a world of good; she was like a new girl again. Erasing the memories completely is/was unnecessary and is going to cause significant issues later I bet. She would have been fine if the memories had just been left in place without the emotional context; she even said it was like she didn't care anymore, and apathy can go a long way towards healing stuff like that. Left alone, her psyche would have dealt with the memories on its own in a natural progression. Her subconscious decision to have the memories wiped was based on the belief that was the only way to deal with them. She didn't know that the pain associated with the memories could be removed, and removing the pain was all that was needed for healing. Also, I don't really think of John wiping memories as a deviation from his "clean" moral path and/or character. He's offered to do the same multiple times in the past, this is just the first time a girl has taken him up on his offer. Because he's never actually erased memories before, he has yet to have it come back to bite him in the ass. Once that happens, he'll quickly (hopefully) realize that messing with memories that extensively is a bad idea, and he'll adjust his moral compass accordingly. As for the Drakkar, I'm thinking John is going to have to do a sweep through their territories and put the fear of the Lion into them. The Drakkar are a race that value strength, with the strongest becoming warlords in command of large groups of raiders. So, if John were to come through and kick the asses of a bunch of warlords, they'll quickly fall in line and behave.

Anonymous

i love you man! :P This entire story have hit me like a dump truck, its a realy damn good story. Keep up the good work :D 10/10

Anonymous

Are the Erudani (sp) and that space station now forgotten about? The only one who knew a lot about them has had her memory purged.

Anonymous
>>4637213

She had never been overwhelmed before. She was shocked initially and withdrew into the hallway to ambush and concentrate her fire. When that didn't work she brought down the ceiling and when that didn't work she ran. She attacks from a position of strength otherwise she runs.

Anonymous

What a chapter! Thank you Tefler, your skills as a writer are getting better and better. I found this story by accident really, but have become immersed in the world you have created and cannot wait for the next instalment. I don't want it to end.

Jedi Khan
>>4638751

The Enshuu and the Underworld station. And that is a good point. I doubt John cares all that much about either, though. They never encountered the Enshuu at the station (except for one to indignantly claim Tashana as property), and the station itself held little of interest. Unless the Enshuu start causing significant problems for the Maliri that they can't handle on their own, and are using the Underworld as a staging point, I don't see John giving more than a rats ass about them.

Anonymous

Hmmkyou didn't say anything about the cargo bay is it still there ?

Anonymous

Hey Tefler, when Edraela asked John to come see her and John jumps on the Hover Teuck with the Maliri she ends up saying "Nearly there" and the John jumps of the truck... was that intentional or maybe she meant " this is far as I can take you"

Jedi Khan
>>4640542

The truck was heading to a different destination, it just happened to be going in the same direction John needed to go and passed by Edraele's quarters. John jumped off at the appropriate point in the route and the truck continued on its way without stopping.

Grimlakin
>>4639905

It seems to me the pressurized bay capable of holding a destroyer would be more than able to contain a bit of cargo. ;)

Anonymous

Best chapter since the one from Tashanas pov, so good job Tef and I have a hunch quiet times are over now :) Just few of my thoughts: 1. One thing I didn't like about this chapter is wiping out memory, that's just to much in my opinion. 2. I hope after all of this refits and now Maliri being with John, the bad guys are due for some refit of their own or buff up their numbers we want some exciting battles now :P 3. The idea for some colony attack is great idea in my opinion, we need some ground fights too ( some hostage action, Drakkar with better tech and so on ). 4. I know that this idea may not appeal to some but I really would like to see Invictus crashed on some planet like that Progen ship in Kirix territory, sort of like batmobil in The Dark Knight :P

Anonymous

Now The Ashanath, whose betting their secret project is Progen ship ?

Anonymous
>>4641616

You mean one about the size of the new flight deck on John's newly extended ship? :)

Anonymous
>>4641582

I would like a Drakkar raider with a chain saw. "DINNER IS SERVED!"

Anonymous

Athena, what can they do?  More importantly, should they?  It is easy to say yes, but splitting them up had weakened them both.  I would argue that a single more powerful version is needed for the trials ahead.  If this was a video game no one would disagree as a single more powerful character tops two reasonably powerful characters.  Perhaps merging back is what they really need.

Anonymous
>>4642420

No idea make her into an AI, capture hostile thrall and wipe her mind for Athena but that would take time...

Anonymous
>>4633983

"So long and thanks for all the fish" - the fourth book in the trilogy.

Anonymous

Excellent! Can't wait to see what happens next! Good work!

rich ed

looking forward to what we will find out about the progenitors now seeing Tashana's is now on board with the crew. Guessing we will get a great deal of more information about John and his kind over the next two chapters or so. So many many blanks that we have all been speculating about over the last few months will now be revealed. Hold onto your hats all this is going to be dope

Anonymous

OK I've had time to think on it some, and I figured out what is bothering me about this chapter. Tashana rolled too quickly back over to wanting to become "one of John's Thralls". If she had taken more than the several hours of viewing the videos, say like a day or two to think about things and ask the girls one-on-one about their emotions and reactions to what they experienced and learned through John...then I could roll with it. But having her roll over so quickly after watching some videos?...mmmmmmnnaaahhh. Too quick an emotional momentum swing. All Alyssa did is to get her to stop motoring on in her emotional state and do some _listening_ for a bit. Then the video logs is all she needed after her previous fear/attitude - up to going to WAR against John? Nope that's the part that just doesn't sit well enough with me. It's a suspension-of-disbelief-breaker. Also, in working on her mind, there was no mention of her psychosis and PTSD issues - and the many traumas were just glossed over too readily. That too is what has me grousing some. Removing the deeply disturbing emotional impacts of the memories is one thing, but removing the well-trodden patterns of her established emotional pathways, carved deeply by her experiences...that's another level of adjustment entirely. Without doing to Tashan's mind the bulldozing of her personality roughly equivalent to what PJ did to Edraele's mind...it's too much of a 180-degree turn too quickly for me to buy in. It would/should have taken here longer to "process" things...and more talking - with everyone too. That's my beef with this chapter. What you did you did awesomely well, Tefler, but were I your story editor on this one, that's the feedback I'd have given you. Ok, there's my full $0.02 on this chapter. Overall, I loved it, with the caveat above.

Morningfrost
>>4649200

I haven't done my second read-through of the chapter yet, but I do think it's entirely possible there was a day or two spent by Tashana reviewing those video logs. The reference I remember was Faye queueing up "hour after hour" of video. I could easily stretch that into Tashana basically spent an entire day reviewing the video. I am a bit surprised that Tashana didn't speak with the various girls regarding their transformations, but after all the video I think Tashana had a pretty good idea of how they felt about things. I'm also pretty sure that Tashana got what she needed regarding John based upon how he reacted to her initially saying she would have Rachel take care of her recovery. ~Morningfrost

Anonymous

Am I the only one feeling the need for a bit of force on force side by side with some Terran Marines? Drool plus shock and awe?

PLRus--Founding member of the TSM F5 club.

Well, Tefler was getting a lot of negative feedback and felt it necessary to wrap up that story arc. So I fault some of the readers for that. While I do feel the breakthrough was a bit rushed, I have seen similar breakthroughs with mental patients when they reach a nexus where a decision for life or acceptance of death crossroads is reached. Those who chose life often do so in similar fashon to Tashana. Also, remember folks, she didn't decide to let John touch her until she heard of the second Progenator who was evil. As soon as she heard that she decided to join the crew. With her understanding of what that meant for her people, I can see her embracing John as a way for her to help protect her race.

Muledrvr
>>4634174

Douche bags from the club? LMAO Every single one of the girls can take them out by themselves now..... Heaven help them if they try to grab Sakura first....... LMAO

Muledrvr
>>4637343

There was some small mention of "TV" shows and movies. I would hazard a guess, that gaming would be full immersive 3D style gaming with VI interaction. Kids are not around much, since so few women actually get the chance to try to find a man at the "border stations". Also remember, that the Maliri numbers are declining.

Nekronom
>>4650113

Tef shouldn't follow the loudest advise, his instincts about storytelling are perfectly fine tuned! Tef, do your own thing at your own pace!

Anonymous

One hour speed-reading done.

Anonymous

now off to work, I'll Send my proofreading later

Anonymous

100k years in the future- Scientists have deciphered the message left by the gods of old in the asteroid field, we believe it says "Play the game"

Anonymous
>>4654844

HAHAHAHA -- Priceless.. This is exactly what we are doing right now in so many places around the world.

Anonymous

incredible chapter tefler, couldn't help thinking of war games movie when they were "playing the game". now ill go through withdraws till next chapter.... maybe ill start over again lol

Anonymous

Damn, that was a well written chapter. Good job solving the Tashana story arc without having to use Deus Ex Machina. The solution was well done. Also, the Irrileth/Edraele scene was so good.

Tefler

I just did a bit more editing, and based on your feedback, I added a bit more to the two scenes between Tashana/Faye and Tashana/John!

Anonymous
>>4660800

You added quite a bit to Tashana/John conversation nice.

Anonymous

Did you update it here already? Also, thanks for replying toall our comments after posting... :)

Anonymous

Kudos Tef awesome again. love the popular Sci Fi references. my money is on the enshunu being some major bad guys in the final story arc

Wookey

Thanks Tefler, the updated version is worth the edits. You picked up the suggestions. The flow to get to the same result is better.

Anonymous

3 things needed... 1) Jade needs a bad ass fighter... Say 200 Meters long with mass drivers... 2) Inviticus needs more of a crew... Can help out tons with building things... 3) They need a updated Psy Shaper... I think they could make one that would shape the armor of the ship 10 times easy.

Evan

Typo: battlecrusier s/b battle cruiser, no? With or without the space.

Anonymous

Wonderfull chapter Tefler, I enjoyed the revision adding more weight to Tashana's dilemma and choice. Having spoken with folks who have had a bad turn in there life the memory/emotion wipe issue is far less important to me than most as I can honestly say that there are poeple whom I would wish nothing more than to be able to do that myself for them... with there full support. Remember fellow readers 1/4 women have had some horrific stuff done to them that they are living with...... On a lighter note, now that Tashana's a bit more calm one wonders how her powers will manafest? :)

Anonymous

@Tefler, i just read the changes you made and i have to say that that really did make it all the better. the way you showed the conflict and the logical ways that tashana worked her way thru the information really makes for a better story transition then before. Congratz on another great story

Tefler

Thanks for the comments everyone! I'm pleased to hear you liked the changes. :-)

Anonymous

I'm a bit sad about the memory wipe. In addition to the moral question behind it I kind of feel like we've been robed some part of the character: the fact that she survived with everything that append to her was something I liked and it feels like it doesn't matter anymore. I also think it reduce the potential character development we can get for her since she will be "magically" healed. But I'm still happy she is finally out of trouble and well on board of the Invictus. Tashana is a character I liked since she was introduced I was waiting for the end of her arc with impatience hoping nothing horrible happens to her while we waited.

PLRus--Founding member of the TSM F5 club.

Magus: I agree. I have enjoyed the Tashana arc. I recognized that some didn't, first complaining that it was taking so long and others complaining that it ended too abruptly and in a forced manner. But I disagree. Since I have already spoken on how I enjoy the anticipation and build up to the climactic end (sorry for the PUNishment there), I will just add this: What else were we going to read about for the weeks at Genthalis? The weather :-) ? And what better way was there for Tefler to bring together all the ruling houses under one roof than how it all played out? Anyhooo: I am looking at the end through Tashana's eyes. She believes she knows John due to her archaeological work. She has done her best to defeat him and save her people, only to utterly fail in the end. She is alone, emotionally damaged, rejected by her family and those whom she has tried, in a desperate effort, to save from the Mael'nerak. And all her people are about to be enslaved. Having been there, done that: there is no way she is going to submit. So: in a rush of emotional turmoil she attempts suicide. When Alyssa stops her and, in the process, shows her in dramatic fashion that she is much more than just a mindless Thrall, Tashana is now in an emotional position to finally take note. In passing through the impulse of suicide, she comes out with a need to survive again and at that point, she is truly the most emotionally vulnerable she may ever be. As a result, her willingness to hear Alyssa out is a reaching for help. But it is so much more. Tashana, if only at a subconscious level, needs to know more about John so she can still try and defeat him if it is possible. I therefore find her actions to be very plausable. Note, she initially decides to not become a Thrall. Partially to test John and also because she needs to keep her individuality....not fully convinced, even after all that video footage, that John is the good guy. It is not until the second reveal to her that there is another Progen that she decides otherwise. And the logic is simple. With two Progens, she has to pick the best of two unsavory choices. She knows that if there is a truly evil Progen lurking around, that her expertise on the Invictus is incalculable. And she can still save her people. It takes a bit of a leap of faith, but not much, given that revelation.

Tefler

Hey everyone. There's been lots of interesting comments, sorry I haven't had a chance to answer them all, I've been busy on chapter 76. To answer a few queries that have been raised: I didn't end up condensing Tashana's arc, I just ended up giving you two chapters at once, to wrap it all up in one go. I never planned to have some lengthy Q&amp;A session with Tashana and the rest of the girls beforehand, firstly because I've done that before and I've tried to make each girl's recruitment different. Secondly, I just don't think it would help her make that decision. JFL quite correctly described Tashana's emotional state at the end of the chapter. She's a tortured soul, who was driven to the point of suicide only a few hours earlier.

Tefler

Regarding Tashana's memory wipe: She wants to forget everything that happened to her in the Unclaimed Wastes, and you can't really blame her, it was horrifically awful. From John's perspective, he sees that she was a kind-hearted girl who never deserved any of the terrible abuses she suffered through. He's always been about healing the girls and in this case, he can wipe out all that pain in one fell swoop. He could have left the memories there, with the emotional pathways removed, but he's listened to Edraele's guilt trips about her daughters and everything she did to her citizens. Sakura is another example, where her mind is filled with emotionless memories, and her subconscious is struggling with a way of dealing with it (nightmares, flashbacks, etc). If he had left the memories there, who knows how Tashana might have eventually reacted, as her mind tried to make sense of, and absorb all those experiences. He believes she's suffered enough, and wants to help her put it all behind her. We'll just have to see if there's any consequences... :-)

Anonymous
>>4677492

What about the last 3 years and her crew will she remember them ?

Tefler
>>4677492

If he left those memories there, it would have all got much more complicated for her mind to sort out: Why was my voice wrecked? Why was I in pain every morning? Why am I afraid to look in mirrors? Why was I hiding behind a mask? I've got psychic powers?! If I've got my own ship, why didn't i return to Maliri Space? etc etc

Anonymous
>>4677492

Damn a bit sad she won't remember them but ok, but if there will be consequences than I can't wait :)

Anonymous

Wow, what a chapter! Now get on with 76! A few people suggested I write a little more of my funny stories for you while we wait, one that did come to mind, (a bit of my back story, I work in an industry which is hugely safety focused, I am sure a few of you do too) so I was thinking the Invictus needs a very officious safety officer. What do people think?

Wookey
>>4679044

Yep, after your last edition, you know I would support anything you write Stacey

Anonymous
>>4649854

I feel the same way but what would make it better would be a malari battle fleet backing John up with ships from each house!

Anonymous
>>4677492

Okay, maybe I missed something but it sounded like you planned the Eshunu as new villains. Now she will have forgotten everything about them... Or do you have other plans?

Morningfrost
>>4667170

I don't believe that's a typo, no. As with battleship, battlecruiser is one word. For example, Assault Cruiser is two words because it's used as a description rather than a ship class. The ship class would be Cruiser, while the Assault portion is added because the ship was reconfigured as more of a troop ship. A battlecruiser is a ship class, however. ~Morningfrost

bigdawguw65

Just was doing another re-read while waiting for next chapter &amp; I found something interesting concerning more Matriarch's for the different races as someone suggested .BSP "activated" The Glowing Queen to start a revolt in the Tarnkarians but she was just a normal female &amp; not a Matriarch , maybe he didn't want her to be one or they weren't able to be one . John has respect for the other space races but I for one don't see John banging a 7'tall pile of rocks or a 75 ' long Dragon or wrestling with a 4 armed Dakkar maiden , think his standards are a little higher than that

Evan

Tefler, I'm hoping that you get to $1500 this weekend! You're only $4 away! Quite a milestone achievement!

Anonymous
>>4700274

the 7" pile of rocks are the males, the females more closely match the standard template. This is just going off memory, i'll look for the trank female description as soon as i can.

bigdawguw65
>>4700274

sorry a slight exaggeration just over 6' & more like a heavily muscled terran female but with similar face chiseled from granite with broad flat features & bald . Chapter 52

Anonymous

Yo Tef! Do the 1500 pronouncement soon with either the new chapter or a part of it. n on behalf from all ur Patrons and fans here... Happy Easter!

Morningfrost

Congratulations Tefler! Also, MrRugg3D is the winner of our little side pool, having come the closest to the correct date without that date having come and gone. ~Morningfrost

Evan

Tefler, I just took a look at the SOL version and noticed that you still have the typo in there where it reads: "The battlecrusier led her forces in a merry dance around the battlefield, while the white forces fell on her chasing vessels and tore them to pieces." As you can see, 'battlecruiser' is misspelled in the above. Just wanted to point that out so that you can fix your copy.

DCM

I have thought until now that Alyssa was deserving of more background history...who is she really...as she was an amazing girl even before meeting John. But now I see that Sparks was truly an exceptionally gifted person before John's upgrades. It was Sparks who set the whole thing in motion by picking John's ship as the one for her friend Alyssa to escape on. I suppose we will never know anything about her parents. Was her personal genius was just a fluke in the universe? It could make an interesting side story.

Grimlakin

So... Great news and all.. Next chapter? ;)

bigdawguw65
>>4728891

DCM... Alyssa did a pretty through background story at start of Chapter 10 &amp; I'm pretty sure she wouldn't want to dwell on it any more . I do agree we know little about Sparks/Dana &amp; it would be nice to know . Who got her started fiddling with weapons &amp; machinery , was her Dad or Mom a mining engineer ? How did she end up working for the Diablo's ? would be nice to know more about her back ground , even who taught her to curse like a Marine ..:-) . Maybe when Tashana is officially introduced (read screwed silly) into the family/crew.