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Hey guys,

Here it is, the first half of chapter 70!

I'll keep this brief as I know you're champing at the bit to read it. Have fun! :-)

Tefler

Comments

Evan

Wow. First comment! Thank you!

Morningfrost

Thanks Tefler! ~Morningfrost

Anonamoose

Awesome! Time to read!

Anonymous

And here I thought work was gonna be boring tonight, thanks Tef!

Tefler

Sorry for the delay. My 3 year old son was being a monkey about going to bed, and then one of the editors suggested a rewrite of the ending. It's much better now. :-)

Anonymous

its feels like christmas

Anonymous

Thanks Tefler.

Anonymous

Oh man. Just getting to work, it's 9am here. Have to wait until end of the day to read this. Bugger :)

Anonymous

tada!!

Anonymous

OK! I'm ready.

Anonymous

Wow. That was a really good chapter for only being part 1. Can't wait for part 2. Thanks for all your hard work in this amazing story.

Tefler

Thanks! It was a lot of scene setting for part 2, and later developments! :-)

Grimlakin

Nice read... Where's the next one again? Lol j/k good job!!

Grimlakin

BTW anyone else think John is making the girls able to best him incase he ever go's dark on them again?

Old Salt

Thank you! Thank you! Another great chapter. I love how you vary the pace of each chapter.

Jim lynch

Oh how could you stop it there arghh cliffhanger or what loved the chapter now where is part two !!!!

Jim lynch

Better it's fantastic I can't wait for part two. I hope all the maliri come together as one so John has a massive fleet to stand with in case he ever needs it

Anonymous

Oh god, need more, please <<shakes>>. Hurry up I need my fix ;-)</shakes>

Morningfrost

Definitely a good read Tefler. How's Wednesday sound for Part 2? Whaddya mean no?!? I'm even giving you almost 24 hours, isn't that generous?

Anonymous

Great job as ever Tefler, you really know how to give us our fix and keep us addicted to your next words. Thank you for making life a lot more fun.

Anonymous

If this is only part one, the free sites are in for a treat (as usual) to get the full chapter. Great work as alway Tefler!

Anonymous

Great part! Started the whole thing last week and am now all caught up, can't wait for new installment.

Jedi Khan

Time to placate the crazy. Yes Precious! All mine! Shut up and read damn it. Sorry. Reading now.

rich ed

another fantastic chapter Telfer, love getting my fix. My only issue is that I vacuum up the chapters as soon as they are released.... now the wait

Anonymous

Am I correct that Tefler said it may be 2 weeks before we see part 2. I'll be shaking like a leaf from withdrawals by then :)

Anonymous

I always enjoy the dialogue and action aboard the Invictus, but I've started to really look forward to the various Maliri events. I hope part 2 finishes up the drama from part 1!

Muledrvr

Seems like a complete chapter to me..... I would go ahead and post it as is, and move on to call part 2 ch 71. :)

Anonymous

Love it, looking forward to the second half. All the action recently has been some of your best, but it's high time the crew got a chance to relax and work on their projects. Faye & Sakura are really coming along as characters, and I'm excited to see more of them.

Anonymous

Thanks again tefler I enjoyed all interactions between John and his happy little family.

DCM

I agree. These side stories could be stories of their own when Tefler figures how to edit the story for a, uh, less sophisticated audience.

Anonymous

Tefler another great work of art, bravo. Every time faye gets cought in her data loop from John touching her. I chuckle and think is that her equivalent to an orgasm.

Anonymous

Rachel looked at them quizzically, so Sakura explained about the strange memories that kept being randomly triggered. That was enough to trigger the brunette's professional curiosity, so once everyone had finished eating lunch, Sakura found herself accompanying Rachel and Dana down to Deck Four.

Tefler

I've taken a day off work, so I'm going to settle down and put some hours into part 2. Rather than reply to you all individually (I did read all your comments!), I'll just say thanks for the great response to the chapter, it's always a relief when people like what I've written. :-)

Jedi Khan

Yes Precious! Write more! Faster! *cackles madly* Clack clack go the keys! More words to read! GAH!! Back you! Back in your hole! Stay there! NO! Must beat the drums to get Tefler to write! Where'd the hell you get drums from? Never mind, I'm getting my bat.

Anonymous

Very nice. One thing I just thought about though...the appeal of Faye getting a body. There was talk about using the cybernetic brain. Remembering that Irillith took some information off Nexus & the fact that Progenitors have the knowledge to create life, it would be cool to develop a completely organic body that Faye would be able to interface with, rather than building a cybernetic body. Good start for the chapter, though. Can't wait for the rest!

Anonymous

Nice build up for part 2. One thing that makes me wonder is who Tsarra wanted to call a relative ?

Anonymous

Faye needs a real body pronto! Her character is getting better and better each chapter. Tef you have a definite writing talent we all know that but your ability to develop your characters is awesome. Very Jordanesque if I may say so. I'll say it again, John destiny is within Malieri space, Perhaps the regency will get its King/God/Emperor, as reluctant as he will be!

Anonymous

waiting for the other half.......,,,,,,,,,,,

Anonymous

During my second read through think I noticed a error "His eyes drifted open and he found himself staring at the AI as her holograph loomed over him only a few inches away. Smiling at her, he raised his head, and mimed planting a kiss on her lips before resting on the pillar again." Think you meant pillow lol

Anonymous

Always with more intrigue Master fully done.. I love it.

Anonymous

I had assumed it was a male on the border. Maybe her brother or father.

Hinterlands Man

That was a great chapter. I really enjoy Edraele's insights and your familiarity with gun safety, something that always gets overlooked in pop culture. It has been very consistent in your story, which I have read from the beginning. You really give me the impression you are a military vet, albeit a British one..? Anyway, this is my favorite series right now. Keep it up!

Jedi Khan

Okay, now that I've had a chance to read the chapter again with less interruptions this time, I was able to -placate- the crazy. *glares at the battered and bruised crazy as it twitches in the corner* Anyways, a couple of thoughts. First, I imagine Yammato could very well be upset at what he perceives to be John's audacity to take on a student of his own after only beating Yammato once, provided of course if John made Sakura's presence known to the hermit. I can't imagine any martial arts master who's a traditionalist like Yammato being pleased at the thought that a student they've been teaching for only a few months, if that, believes themselves superior enough, let alone worthy, to take on a student of their own. That would suggest a great deal of arrogance in the student, and for a master to have missed such arrogance previously would be a serious blow to their pride. John could try placating the cantankerous old man by introducing Sakura as a member of his crew and what her role is, if he hasn't done that already. He can then ask that she be trained alongside John, thereby making her a fellow student with John rather than being John's student. That should hopefully appease Yammato...until Sakura bests him after just a few sessions. Second, that Loraleth fleet commander. She got hit with the behavior mod hard, didn't she? Makes Irillith's resistance to it all the more impressive when that fleet commander was practically drooling over a simple comm channel. She'd have probably flung herself into his arms if he had been there in person. Third, how's Ceraden doing? I imagine he's got his hands full playing host to the engineers from Genthalas, yes? I hope Edraele was kind enough to give him a heads up about that before the battleship she sent as escort arrives, if it hasn't by now. And finally, fourth: what did Rachel discover about Sakura's DNA, I wonder? Could it be that she's been given triple helix DNA as well, or maybe since John's "pushing the boundaries" with her, he's given Sakura quadruple helix DNA? What kind of crazy stuff will come of having quadruple helix DNA? Now hurry up with the next part Tefler before crazy over there wakes up. Banged up my baseball bat pretty good last time; not sure it can handle a second round. Oh, and congrats on reaching the $700 mark! Almost half way to the goal of having you write full time!

Anonymous

Is the Geniya trading post setup for House Valaden only or is it a neutral ground? Is the trading with the Terrans and Ashanath one of the reasons for House Valaden's wealth and power?  Even if the Terrans are backwards by Malari standards, they can always provide raw resources, art or things from other cultures. If it is neutral ground it is an unsecure area.  Things that happen on or near the station should get back to the other houses quickly.  I suspect it is neutral ground if the Terrans are unaware of the politics in Malari space, but it could be the result of a strong border defense. Any comment Tefler or should we just wait for more chapters and find out?

Anonymous

It would make sense that it is neutral grounds

Jedi Khan

The Terran's not knowing anything about the Maliri is the result of strong border defense and strict laws regarding interactions with non-Maliri. Before John came along, any foreign ship that attempted to get past the border stations was destroyed, with the only warning being the giant freighter outside Geniya station that's full of holes. Also, selling weapons to non-Maliri was punishable by death, as was interacting with non-Maliri without full armor on. Same probably goes for sharing any info on Maliri society to non-Maliri, which is why when we first saw Ceraden, he feed Rachel and the gang a rehearsed line about Maliri women being keepers of the house while men were the bread winners when he was asked why there were no women around. The border stations could very well be "neutral" ground as far as the Maliri houses go, since they are almost solely run by the men of the race, but I suspect that each station is dominated by the house whose space the station happens to be in, so with Geniya station it would be House Valaden that is dominant. House Valaden is as powerful as it is because one, its matriarchs have all been ruthless bitches until John did an attitude adjustment on Edraele, and two, because of the Genthalas shipyard station in orbit over Valaden, which dwarfs any station the Terrans have, even their main Olympus shipyard. As for the Terrans providing things like art or things from other cultures to the Maliri, it is mentioned during the refit at Genthalas that the Terran entertainment industry is considerably more vibrant than the Maliri version, thus was much more fascinating. That was used to explain why the Maliri engineers, who had never been to the border stations, knew how to speak the Terrran language.

Jedi Khan

All this crossing back and forth between Maliri and Terran space has got me thinking. It seems that the comm networks of the various races are mutually exclusive, meaning if you're in Maliri or Ashanath space, you can't make calls to or receive from anyone in Terran space. You'd have to travel back into Terran space in order to make those calls or pick up your messages. That seems a little odd to me. You would think that there should be at least some kind of relay system in place that can translate between the different comm networks of the races, especially if the races are on good terms with each other. Here on Earth, we can make international calls as long as we dial the correct country code first, so why not have a similar system in place for the galactic races? Maybe now that John is going to be taking over the Maliri, and gaining a significant amount of influence in the Terran Federation, he can have the girls develop that system and build a company around it to supplement his income.

Tefler

The Ashanath and Trankarans have a reciprocal comms beacon access agreement with the Terran Federation (as do the brimorians). The Kintark did too, until tensions escalated. The Maliri block comms, but retransmit Terran entertainment through the Maliri Regency.

Anonymous

Snowed in watching Galaxy Quest and hoping desperately that part 2 gets posted soon.

Tefler

I read they were planning a sequel, but it was cancelled after Alan Rickman died. :-(

Anonymous

And the greys have a telepathic interface with their computers, so it might be possible to set up some sort of a biological/mainframe data relay through telepathy and not cybernetics

Grimlakin

Glad they killed it rather than find some replacement. Though I could see one of the squid people take up the role. Wait a second.. Tefler... Did you borrow some races from galaxy quest?

Anonymous

Well I don't know if someone else mentioned it but Drakkar for me are like Orks from Warhammer 40,000 universe.

Anonymous

He had been surely for a while and we don't know if he even saw Sakura. I think he is grumpy in general and upset being beat. John has surpassed him at every turn. John survived when his family didn't....

Tefler

Thanks, John, I'm glad you enjoyed the Edraele chats. One of my editors is ex-services, so he's very good at picking up anything I write that is too outlandish. I made an effort to look up range and gun safety before writing this one, but he mentioned the stripping the weapon. I've never served in the armed forces, but I have a great deal of respect for people who have.

Anonymous

Speaking of Bugs, watching Starship Troopers now and wanting the gang to make a forray into Kirrix territory looking for John's mother. Opportunity for a good 'ole bug hunt.

PLRus--Founding member of the TSM F5 club.

Hmmmmmmmm. Third stand DNA perhaps? "Her grey eyes glinted with curiosity as she smiled at Sakura, then strolled over to the big genetic sampling machine. "That makes sense," Sakura said as she pondered Rachel's theory. She glanced at the distracted doctor, and continued, "So once I've learned all these skills that I used to know before, then I'll stop having flashbacks? "That pretty much sums it up," Dana replied for her lover, who was now staring at the blood results. Rachel's eyes widened, and she murmured quietly, "He wasn't kidding..." "Everything okay?" Sakura asked her, a little alarmed by the brunette's reaction. The doctor seemed to be listening to something or someone for a moment, before she straightened, and gave her patient a friendly smile. "You're in perfect health. Nothing to worry about at all," she replied cheerfully, putting the girl at ease. "

Tony Bates

Tefler has yet to leave a thread untied.... he knows what he's doing.

Anonymous

Where is part 2.... I am dying from withdrawal....

Grimlakin

Guys and Gals, first things first. Tefler is a gamer. Using abilities to insta puree your foes brains means that can be done to you. So base some of your world mechanics on that understanding. I am of the opinion that John is going to make all of the girls into progenitors and equals for the most part to him with perhaps a narrower focus than Alyssa. It gives them all "classes" to excel in. Alyssa had to multi-class so she will continue to do so as things progress. Cpa in a day. And so on. The others will master different aspects of their field and change to be better at it. Carla is going to be a control hub but instead of a matriarch she will be able to see intentions and plans of others and always be steps ahead. She is a sherlock Holmes/master tactician. Our hacker girl will be the master hacker of all things. Just wait until she can leave code running while she is away or sleeping. Our engineer will be the master of anything non biological. And of course Rachel will be the biology master. I think our shape shifter will become ever more potent at that and a great problem solver... She will have every tool in the shape shifting tool box including fantastic imaginative creatures... With her vorpal blades going snikkerty snack. And so on. So your instant kill people will depend on the caliber of the foe. I hope that Tefler can one day make a system to fit the world he is creating.

DCM

Imagine Sakura highjacking energy off an enemy's ethereal trace!

Anonymous

[Faye needs a real body pronto!] ...if only so John can snap back at her: "Ha! now YOU'RE a FILTHY ORGANIC too!" :-)

Anonymous

Ooohh....psychic wiretapping? That would also fit in a Security specialists toolkit.

Anonymous

almost 500 patrons already Tefler!

Anonymous

What is the timetable for 70 part 2 and why do you post as .docx? Are we allowed/required/expected to edit/spell check? If so is track changes enabled? Not volunteering, I'm here for early access since I am addicted to this story.

Grimlakin

It's the format it is written in I am sure. Would you prefer a pdf file? I think I would as I read on my phone and getting the font bigger and not accidentally editing when moving through the document would be nice.

Morningfrost

I generally read the Word docs on my phone too, because they release while I'm at work. I'm on a Note, and don't have issues with that. My phone can view the docx in a reader-style format, so I'm not making changes while scrolling. As for the format itself...yes, it is in docx format because that's how it's written. I don't think Tefler would turn down someone who sent in spelling or grammar corrections, but he already has a team of editors so it wouldn't be an expectation. ~Morningfrost

Anonymous

lol about the crazy

Anonymous

Question... What ever happened about getting the upgraded shields???

Jedi Khan

Still a work in progress. They haven't visited the Brimorians, who have the best shield tech around, yet. They've been a bit...preoccupied of late.

Anonymous

But with the progenitor dealing with the Brimorians via the Kintark what kind of reception would they get ?

Jedi Khan

That is a very good question, and one we probably won't get the answer to for at least another 5 chapters, I bet.

PLRus--Founding member of the TSM F5 club.

The comms issues between the species held areas of space is an issue easily fixed. Put a shielded, proprietary com link within easy reach of each area's coms systems that hacks their comms for Irillith to use as needed.

PLRus--Founding member of the TSM F5 club.

Okay...A way to solve the hard point issue with the Invictus This will require Dana to develop a radically better heat sink material...something Tefler has already alluded is on the way. Upgrade the laser pulse cannons and their mounts to incorporate 4 or 6 barrels instead of three into a very quickly rotating Gatling laser configuration. This can be done with a little more miniaturization (something Dana has not done to the laser pulse cannons yet) and upgrading the mounts with more responsive servos (to increase target acquisition speed). This allows for a fully continuous, yet still pulsed, laser stream from each rotating gimbal mount. Increased energy levels, along with the increased heat sinks would at least maintain (if not increase to full beam laser capability) the range/lethality/target acquisition and engagement of the total current system with half of the necessary hard points. Strategically place the upgraded Gaus Cannons on the now available hard points. This can be done with a hardened and upgraded (Multi-folded Crystal Alyssium) gimbal mount (something akin to the current US Navy Sea Witch) which is both dependently and independently auto tracking and which incorporates a small inertia dampener to provide the capability to give very high fire rates and deliver devastating broadsides across a very wide fire arc. This would maintain, or possibly even increase, the laser based firepower while providing enough mass driven projectiles to take out armor that can be swiveled into firing position rather than fixed so the maneuverability of the Invictus would not be compromised on the battlefield. Oh, and do the same with the Raptor... ;-)

rich ed

I kinda of want John and Faye to never get jiggy, Faye being the only one he cannot have, or at least not get a body. This will make John have to go into the digital realm by learning off Irrilith's gift as he should be able to do anything that he has taught the girls. Also maybe the other Progenitor is waiting on John defeating his own inner evil progenitor before he is willing to take him on. To make the final showdown more epic.

Jedi Khan

Or maybe the other Progenitor thinks John's white knight, good guy, boy scout shtick is just an act, since Progenitors are supposedly anything but goody-goodies, and is doing what he thinks his part is in John's act by playing the mysterious mastermind villain. He's probably planning on letting John continue to thwart his plans until John gains the total loyalty of (and subsequent control over) this sector of space, then he'll come forward, propose an alliance with John seeing as they're both Progenitors and therefore it is their right to rule, and since the other Progenitor did his "brotherly" duty in helping John gain power, he should get a share of the power as well, all with the intention of backstabbing John later down the line and taking everything.

rich ed

that is something I would probably do in his position so you may be right

Jedi Khan

The Pulse Cannons are already effectively continuous fire with Dana's upgrades in their current configuration. By the time the third barrel fires, the first is ready to go again. If you increased the number of barrels on them, you'd probably end up with either some barrels not firing for longer periods while they wait for the others to finish, or you get two barrels firing at once. Having two barrels firing at one on the same gun would be a waste as one barrel firing is more than enough and the turret can only track one target at a time, unless Dana can come up with a way to stack turrets on top of each other so they can share the same mount point but still operate independent of each other. However, replacing some of the pulse cannons with Gauss cannons is likely going to create gaps in the Invictus' defense grid, even if the remaining pulse cannons were somehow double stacked on independent turrets. The pulse cannons were a direct replacement of and used the same mount positions as the old Gatling lasers that made up the ship's defense grid, which were strategically placed to have complete, or near complete, 360 degree coverage with overlapping fields of fire. In order to compensate for the possible gaps in coverage when replacing the pulse cannons with the Gauss cannons, the new guns would need to be able to track and fire at an equivalent rate as the pulse cannons, effectively turning them into AA guns akin to the Bofors 40mm guns of WW2, and hopefully whatever they're firing at doesn't have shields.

Anonymous

Haha well isn't he going to get a rude shock when John and the girls will first laugh in his face then fuck him up without breaking a sweat when he tries to backstab