Regress the Writer 2.0 – Journal (Patreon)

Wednesday, May 25 (12 noon):

Welp, here it is, folks: the start of the Regress the Writer 2.0 event! I've run the weighted calculator now, and it's produced some very interesting results. With a total of SEVENTEEN new patrons so far this month (yes, a few have cancelled, but that's beside the point, lol), that's a lot of modifiers! So here they are:

• Hands-On (x1)
• Boosted (x2)
• Quiet (x2)
• Soused (x1)
• Efficient (x1)
• Li'l Sucker (x2)
• Hydrated (x3)
• Athletic (x1)
• A Night to Remember (x2)
• Locked (x1)
• Dizzy (x1)

I'll be updating y'all later on which ones I choose for which days. Hang on for the ride – it looks like it's going to be quite the experience!

***

Wednesday, May 25 (10:45 PM):

So it begins.

I'm ready for it now, though. A few changes have been made, and now this baby is well and truly ready for the next few days of infancy.

The big boy underwear is gone from his drawer, for one thing: replaced by a neat stack of thick, cartoon-covered diapers and boosters. There's a box of adult "formula" – protein-rich meal replacement drinks – waiting for him, along with lots of milk and applesauce and yogurt. There's even a crinkling sheet on his bed now: precisely the sort of plastic sheet that a bedwetting, diaper-dependent baby deserves.

Oh, and then there's the modifier he chose for the night!

"Locked" seems simple on the surface, of course. Locked away in locking plastic pants and a locking sleeper seems straightforward enough. But of course, nobody wants this dribbly baby to leak, do they? Nobody wants him to wake up in wet sheets and be forced to lie there cold and wet for the rest of the night. And so… well, it only makes sense to double up. A boosted Alpaca diaper, plus a cloth diaper over that. Plus a pair of thunderously loud plastic pants over that. Plus the locking plastic pants over those. And then, after all that: the thick, fleecy, locking pink footed pajamas that are so warm that he'll probably be sweating all night.

Ah, well. We wouldn't want baby to get cold, would we?

He's been fed, too – a nice big 11-oz. bottle of "formula" in his baby bottle. (Not real formula! Heaven knows real biological babies need all the formula they can get these days, and this big baby won't hog it from them!) That plus lots of water should make sure he stays nice and hydrated through the night – though of course it's nothing compared to what's in store for him tomorrow…

But that is for another time. For now, he's just a sleepy, warm, loudly crinkling and waddling baby. He's gonna go find his paci and his stuffie now, and think about going to sleep…

Nite-nite, everyone!

***

Thursday, May 26 (7:40 AM):

Footie pajamas sure are comfy, aren't they? Especially when you don't have to remove them to, you know, use the potty…

Had a good night, more or less. The pajamas are certainly warm, but there's something about how evenly distributed the warmth is that makes them super nice. Of course there was a lot of bulk beneath them, too – bulk that made me feel super babyish, and which I'm still wearing, as it so happens. Because, you see, there's a certain modifier for today that's going to make changing a problem.

It's called "Efficient." Which means no changes unless I'm leaking or messy. And if you recall, I was dumb enough to put a cloth diaper over the boosted Alpacas last night.

Leaking is clearly going to be a problem. So that only leaves me one option to get out of my very wet and squishy overnight diapers.

Yeah. We'll see about that.

Other modifiers for today? Let's see. There's Hydrated, and then there's Boosted. Those go pretty well together, obviously. And then for tonight… well, there's no way around it. I'm going to have to do one of those "Night to Remember" modifiers sooner or later, so it might as well be tonight, right?

So, yeah. We'll see how that goes! There's a lot of big-person work on my plate for today, though, with hours of work on Zoom. Of course, little will those folks suspect just what kind of underwear is hidden away down below…

Let's see, what else? Baby just had his breakfast, which was super yummy! Oatmeal and yogurt and apple juice and a banana – all nice and soft and mushy, and perfect for a big baby boy like me. I even got to use a spoon, which was super nice! Something tells me I shouldn't count on getting to use one all the time, though.

Why not, you ask? Well, since yesterday another new patron meant that I had to choose yet another modifier – and it was a second "Hands-On"! So that means that after today I won't get to use spoons or forks at all – or at least, not to eat with. That's going to be interesting – and probably will call for a bib or two!

Anyway, this baby should probably waddle off and get busy with his day. He has some important things to take care of, after all – things like making an oopsie in his soggy pampers…

***

Thursday, May 26 (9:40 PM):

What a day to be padded!

This baby could get used to a couple of these modifiers, honestly. Athletic? No problem being in public when you have gym shorts concealing that telltale crinkle. Boosted? He thinks a nice thick booster is actually pretty awesome – and they swell up so nicely, particularly after an entire pot of coffee! Efficient and no changes unless leaking or messy? With all the apple juice and oatmeal and such that he's been having, it's almost a given that he can make a mess multiple times a day…

OK, maybe that's TMI. But babies can't really help making messes when they're stuck in diapers 24/7, now, can they?

As much work as this baby had today, it was actually super useful to be padded through it all. No leaving a Zoom call in an awkward rush, or quitting work abruptly, just to use the potty. Nope! Just sit there and let it drain out into the nice, comfy padding… and sigh… and keep on working.

Of course there are always a few leaks. But they're not a big deal – not when there's a dresser full of fresh padding just waiting for you!

You know, I can be blasé about the being padded in public thing. But that was probably the most embarrassing part of the day: working out at the gym, hoping that my t-shirt wouldn't ride up and my shorts down, letting that Pampers-boosted Goodnites peek out in all its pastel, incriminating glory. Fortunately it didn't, of course. But the worry was there nonetheless…

And yeah, it did do an excellent job of reminding me that big boy underwear is no longer for me. At least not for two more days. 

Now, about the next modifiers. Thanks to another devious-minded patron joining the cause, it looks like I have yet another modifier added to the list now – making nineteen in all! The modifier chosen was another "Boosted", which isn't really a problem… though frankly it might become necessary in the near future anyway.

Yeah, about that. Tonight's going to be the first "night to remember."

I'm already gulping down my formula/milk mixture. And after that comes the apple juice, and then the castor oil, and then the sleeping pill. What exactly that unholy combination will do is unknown at present. But I guess like it or not, I'm about to find out.

Wish me… luck? I guess?

Or at the very least a thirsty and capacious diaper!

***

Friday, May 27 (7:45 AM):

Well, that was a bit disappointing!

Believe me, this baby's pretty soggy this morning. He's been leaking and dribbling into his boosted ABU Simple all night, after all. But strangely enough, the castor oil he had to take last night hasn't done anything! Perhaps it will take effect later during the day… perhaps when he's not expecting it.

It's quite a feeling: sitting up in his chair in his heavy, squishy nighttime diaper, his bib around his neck, his fingers sticky and messy with the oatmeal and applesauce and yogurt that is his breakfast. His bottle is still half-full of apple juice, but he knows he needs to gulp it down. After all, there's another day of modifiers ahead of him – and one of them is Hydrated once again.

Besides that, there's Quiet; he knows his mouth will be full most of the day, suckling on his paci like a good little boy should. Pacis are perfect little gags: cute and adorable and a constant reminder that talking isn't necessary for babies. They only need to suck in silence and look cute, right?

Speaking of sucking, then there's Li'l Sucker – which means no more big boy cups! Bottles are also perfect for reminding this little baby of his place; they occupy a hand, and for a long time, which implies that babies really don't need to do much else. They can just sit there minute after minute, clutching their "ba-ba", sucking away thirstily and letting all that yummy juice trickle down their throat and fill their bellies. And when combined with Hydrated…? Well, there's going to be a lot of sucking in this baby's future!

Perhaps he will try Dizzy today – to listen to hypnosis files over and over, the voices reminding him to be a good baby and let it all go. Or maybe he'll put it off for tomorrow. He's not quite sure. But that's okay. He knows he has to do it sooner or later, and that's the main point.

What a good baby he's becoming!

***

Friday, May 27 (7:25 PM):

And here I thought I'd been a clever baby.

See, I was pretty good all day. I did my best to keep well hydrated. I had coffee, and I worked, and I kept my paci in as much as I could, and I even ended up making a big stinky in the afternoon (probably as a result of the castor oil last night).

So I thought, now that it's evening, why don't I go out for a nice walk? Surely I can wear a Goodnites, just like I did at the gym. Surely that's acceptable for the baby to wear right now. Don't want to be showing too much of a waddle in public, you know.

And so I did. Which was very nearly a disaster.

See, that's my last Goodnites. And I kinda need it if I want to go to the gym tomorrow. So I really don't want to use it. But the thing is, I'd had a nice big drink before leaving, and there were lots of interesting things going on in my neighborhood that I wanted to check out, and… well, for the last 40 minutes I was walking hurriedly back, feeling my bladder getting fuller and fuller and threatening to flood out into my shorts with all the incontinent energy of an excited four-year-old.

No Goodnites would have held that.

You know what the most humiliating bit was, though? Not the fact that I actually made it back in time, of course – that was pretty great. No. What was humiliating was getting back and knowing full well that I couldn't even consider using the potty like a big kid. Nope! It was back to that half-used diaper I took off two hours before: desperately tugging down my pull-ups to my ankles, squishing down gratefully into the cool mush of my old diaper, and hurriedly pulling it tight around me.

And then… yes. Lying there, letting everything just flood out. Soaking that boosted Barnyard diaper even more. Feeling it grow warm again and swell even bigger beneath me. Scrambling up at last and feeling the half-cool, half-warm bulk thrusting my thighs gently and insistently apart once more. Reaching back and feeling that plasticky, swollen, bulgy bum. The bum of a true baby.

Because pull-ups aren't meant for me these days. Diapers are.

Maybe I'll head out again. But I've learned my lesson now. Diapers I need, and diapers it shall be.

Thought maybe I'll grab a fresh, dry one before I go.

***

Saturday, May 28 (7:35 AM):

One more day of babyhood!

It's nice, really: waking up, hearing the thick crinkle of a boosted PeekABU around your hips, feeling it so nice and snug and thick between your legs. It's such a great way to start the day, too. When you lie there and let it all out and feel your pants so warm and wet and thick… well, it's hard not to feel babyish.

Even if there's lots of big person things to do.

The whole "night to remember" thing hasn't turned out quite as I'd thought. I'm certainly not complaining, of course – nobody wants uncontrollable diarrhea or feeling sick because of their GI tract being upset. It's kind of like one's body adapts to different levels of fluids going in, and even to castor oil. Maybe I should have taken more? Or maybe I would have needed to eat a lot more?

Ehh, whatever. Those two worst modifiers are past, and now it's on to the final ones!

I never got around to trying "Dizzy" yesterday, so maybe I can tackle that one shortly. Then there's Boosted and Hydrated and Li'l Sucker and Quiet and Hands-On – all pretty much like yesterday. Because of a little oral health issue I'm going a bit easy on Li'l Sucker and Quiet, but I'm doing what I can to use a paci and bottle as much as reasonably possible. (Remember, kink needs to be above all safe, sane, and consensual!)

So, yeah. Here I go. Waddling into the last day with my bulky diaper beneath my jeans, nowhere close to needing to be changed. As much as PeekABUs and Dubblers both swell, I'm beginning to think this is going to be a very, very bulgy baby before this is done!

Unless the castor oil kicks in…

We'll just have to see, won't we? Now this baby needs to waddle away and find him some yummy yummy breakfast. Oatmeal. Yogurt. Apple juice. All the gooey, goopy things that are perfect for a silly little baby to eat – with his hands, of course! :-)

***

Saturday, May 28 (7:52 PM):

And so it draws to an end, this last day of regression. I've done my best to carry out the modifiers as intended, too! My boosted Alpacas are super squishy, for instance, and I'm pretty positive I'm going to need a change before long…

Speaking of changes…

Know how I'd mentioned that castor oil? Well, speak of the devil. It was right during breakfast – with my hands all goopy and my chin covered in yogurt and my baby bottle full of juice beside me, that the mess hit. I'm not going to be too graphic, of course – don't want to gross out anyone who isn't used to dealing with messy babies. But it was definitely a big mess, and one that had me cleaning up pretty thoroughly afterward! So much for the PeekABU, I guess.

Being in public a fair bit and also being busy with lots of household chores, I wasn't able to revel in babyhood quite as much as I would have liked. There was one moment when, forgetful and attached to my binky as I'm getting these days, I just about stepped outside with my paci in my mouth! Talk about a real shock – not to mention a blushy reminder of just how normal it can become to spend a day with a dummy lodged in your mouth like a babbly, grumpy little toddler…

I can imagine that kind of normalization, you know: giving up big boy underwear for good. Making that waterproof sheet a permanent part of the bed. Having to follow little rules around the house about always having your binkie with you, or asking for permission to make a stinky in the potty, or telling someone when I need a change.

Would it be all that bad? Would it lose its thrill and charm over time? I really don't know. Some days I think it would, of course. But then at other times – for example like now, when I feel the gentle bulk and squish and crinkle of my soggy diapered bum – I really feel deep within that there's nothing more fitting or normal in the world for me.

But back to today.

I went with the ol' Pampers and Goodnites combo in public. It was pretty fun – and by the time I was back, I must admit that the Pampers was pretty swollen. (Dang, they really hold a lot, don't they? Even more than a Goodnites, if I had to guess!) And now, once I get rid of this leaky Alpacas, there's another waiting just for me. It's already all fluffed and thick and bulging, too. It's the pièce de resistance: a Camelot with a Dubbler.

I have to put it on before going out tonight. And not just because I committed to a full 24 hours of these modifiers, you know. It's because I'm a leaky, dribbly baby: loaded up with three of my four beers already, and well-hydrated, and virtually incapable of going more than an hour without desperately needing to piss himself.

So out I'll go: my bulgy, humiliating baby butt concealed under my jeans. Nobody at the concert will be looking at me, surely. Nobody will see it growing thicker and bulgier and heavier as the minutes tick past. Nobody will notice me waddling home at last in the dark: a squishy little thing whose diaper is still so thick and absorbent that he'll still be able to crawl into bed and not need a change until morning.

Well, that's the plan, anyway. Though another surprise mess might change things!

***

Sunday, May 29 (7:55 AM):

And it's done!

Not gonna lie, I rather miss that boosted Camelot. I honestly don't know what its full capacity would have been, but it would likely have been as thick and thirsty as a Trest Elite – and with better wicking. But comfy and fun as it was, it had to go. It's time to do big-person things, and padding and "formula" and eating with hands only will all have to wait for another day.

I'm super happy and grateful for how folks pitched in to make it a whole experience with all those modifiers! I did my best to follow them, though of course when you're still leading a normal life you can't put everything on hold and follow them 100% of the time. If you don't have enough time before an appointment, or if you need to drive somewhere and you can't have been drinking alcohol, or if you need to go somewhere near kids and can't be visibly diapered… well, you can't just stick to the modifiers no matter what. Maybe some of y'all would have wanted me to push the line more. But in the end this is just a fun kink, and as much as I enjoyed the "forced" nature of some of the challenges, I don't want to go to such extremes that it would start negatively impacting others.

I'm also curious about how 3+ days in diapers non-stop might have affected my bladder capacity. So far I'm not too worried – but shortly I'll be dealing with a 7-hour flight, and that's going to be interesting. Ordinarily I'd pad up for it, but this time that's simply not possible. So… yeah. We'll see what happens!

So back to it. And maybe someday I'll try such a challenge again – or maybe not. It was fun overall, and I hope y'all enjoyed following along as well! OrdinarilyI'd say stay padded, but I'm reminded more than ever right now that that isn't always possible. So instead… stay well and padded as often as you like! :-)

The End