In the Name of Science (Patreon)

The following are extracts from a research notebook, found abandoned on the grounds of a prestigious university in upstate New York. The handwriting appears to match that of a young professor in the psychology department, who was declared missing approximately one week before.

September 2, 2035

The new trials are fully set up and operational, right on schedule. Our participants arrived yesterday, having previously been informed of the nature of our research and their role in exploring my hypothesis. Out of the 47 respondents, 16 agreed to the terms of the project – all of whom are of course students in this university. This represents a relatively low response rate, but is still better than my projections given the methods that may have been uncomfortable to some.

Particularly of note was the happy coincidence that the group is split evenly according to biological sex. We have subdivided the groups further, according to the project's parameters: Group A, (2) males and (2) females stimulated upon voiding; Group B, (2) males and (2) females stimulated upon drinking; Group C, (2) males and (2) females stimulated upon both voiding and drinking; and Group D, (2) males and (2) females no stimulation (i.e., control group).

Am happy to report that each of them was fitted with their penile/clitoral vibrators and body sensors with almost no issues, and all were subsequently suited up. My assistants reported a number of participants expressed embarrassment and trepidation upon receiving their first disposable "incontinence products" – to put it simply, diapers. However, none of them ventured to withdraw from our study, which is a fair indication that we may expect their cooperation going forward.

September 9, 2035

Couldn't be happier with the preliminary results of our research. All twelve participants continue in our study, and having gotten through the first week of their participation, we have every reason to expect they will remain with us. Surveys completed by the participants indicate a fair level of social anxiety and disgust during the first days, particularly over the experience of defecation in their new undergarments. However, of particular interest are the opinions of a minority, who variously express their belief that their participation and the 24/7 reliance on the diapers is providing them with new, empathetic insights into the experiences of those persons with genuine medical incontinence.

September 25, 2035

First breakthrough! We have reliable and statistically significant indicators from one of our participants that they have begun to experience intermittent, but clearly uncontrolled, voiding. The fact that this has occurred in one of the subjects receiving stimulation upon both voiding and upon imbibing liquids offers early – though not yet convincing – support for my hypothesis.

If subsequent data bears this out, there's a landmark paper to be written! What will my colleagues say upon hearing that in less than a month, through nothing but selective sexual stimulation, we have brought an otherwise able-bodied young man to a point of intermittent urinary incontinence? If that is not conclusive evidence for the malleability of human sexual desire and the vulnerability of the human psyche to associative programming, I frankly do not know what is.

October 4, 2035

More data – the plot thickens. Five participants are now exhibiting clear signs of urinary incontinence, and three of them are among the group receiving dual stimulation. Clearly the data is in favor of the intensified stimulation regimen, precisely as I postulated. However, some are expressing strong discomfort, and I suspect that the psychological reluctance to revise their self-image to include their new-found incontinence may well retard their further progress.

Perhaps greater levels of stimulation should be considered. However, that would distort and complicate the nature of the entire project… More thought needed.

October 10, 2035

Complications. Complaint has been filed from one of the twelve participants from Group C. Never mind we are fully in compliance and have their documented agreement, of course. Worst of all, I have received word that our project may be terminated should word of our methods reaches the public.

Naturally, we are responding with our full documentation to prove the humanity of the project and its aims, as well as participants' full and ongoing consent. Perhaps that will be enough for these bleeding-heart administratve pencil-pushers. Such utter absurdity!

October 12, 2035

Unbelievable! In what research project is it ever demanded that the principal investigator participate as one of the project's subjects?! And yet, that is precisely what the Dean has directed me. Our funding will be cut and our project terminated immediately, so she says, should I refuse to take the place of the subject who made the complaint. Inconceivable that I – a respected, tenure-track faculty member – should be forced to take the place of an undergraduate participant in my own research project. And all to prove that we have not violated the laws regarding human testing! Not only that, the neutrality of the subjects will now be compromised, which adds further complications and possibly compromises the value of our data. And yet… without it, all of this work will have been for nothing.

What I must suffer for the sake of science!

October 17, 2035

It is done. I have taken the necessary steps. And yes, our number of participants is once again at twelve, thanks to my induction into the program.

I will not speak of the so-called shame of the methods. Shame is socially constructed, and there is no inherent horror in our methods: neither in a simple, practical garment like a diaper, nor in the  sensation of sexual stimulation.

If we are to speak of shame, however, for me it lies rather in the degradation of being now obliged to lie down in one of our examination rooms, just like the other participants, and to have my soiled undergarments changed by my own graduate assistants. It is one thing for a naive young student, of course, but quite another for a respected professor such as myself. Quelle horreur!

October 26, 2035

A morbid curiosity seizes me these days as I pore over our data. It is encouraging, of course; three out of four participants are now experiencing significant loss of continence, and nocturnal enuresis is apparent in well over half. I personally, as a late-comer to the experiment, have not yet detected any significant loss of control.

Yet more surprising than anything thus far is the performance of one young female participant from Group A: the group receiving stimulation upon voiding only. While my hypothesis has naturally predicted that the greater the frequency of stimulation, the quicker will be the adoption of new behaviors and muscular responses (like urination), this young woman defies expectation and over the last eight weeks has progressed to such a degree that she now exhibits a significantly greater degree of incontinence and enuresis than seen even in Group C. If data is to be believed, she now voids almost constantly, yet her survey responses as to her reactions to such a startling change have been curiously neutral. Much more investigation needed.

November 7, 2035

Experimentation proceeding apace. Rates of involuntary voiding are accelerating, even in the control group, and I am fairly confident that by the end of the semester we will have the necessary data for a convincing paper. However…

Earlier today I happened to overhear Julie, the young woman from Group A, speaking intimately to a friend – and I was puzzled to hear her expressing amusement and delight at the now effectively complete loss of her bladder control. From her colloquial phrases like "so fucking horny", "feel like such a dirty girl", and "so nice to let it all go and be just a dumb, pissy baby," I gather that this participant is somehow psychologically fusing the pleasure of the sexual stimulation our project provides with not only the experience of urination, but the state of wearing a soiled diaper.

How interesting – and how complicating. A whole second project appears from the mist…?

November 11, 2035

More data from Julie has stimulated my curiosity. I have just finished speaking with her over drinks today, and am gratified to discover that she seems genuinely enthusiastic about the project. Once the first awkwardness passed, she disclosed to me that diapers were not in fact new to her – that she experienced nocturnal enuresis until she was eleven, and has many memories of using them. This is a most interesting and relevant bit of information, as I suspect that this may have fueled her readiness to fuse psychologically her sexual pleasure with her bodily functions.

Candidly, I must also confess that she was a most pleasant and engaging young woman. I shall definitely need to speak with her again. Quite beside her intriguing reactions to our research, I must say that it has been a long time since I enjoyed myself quite so much…

November 19, 2035

From bad to worse. Apparently some snooping busybody has observed my sporadic meetings with Julie over the last two weeks and has circulated a rumor that there is some kind of inappropriate relationship between us! Of course it is all nonsense. Naturally, when in my office we do discuss the project and her sexual proclivities – many of which have surprised me – but everything of course has remained strictly professional.

These are valuable meetings for me and my research, and I do not intend to halt them unless she should desire it. Through Julie I have been made aware of all sorts of niche sexual interests that now complicate what I had previously thought a simple matter. Incontinence I had previously taken, supported by extensive scholarship, as a matter for universal human disgust. Frankly, that was the reason for choosing to base this entire project upon it! After all, what better way to test the power and limits of associative training than to attempt to use it to remove something near and dear to the psyches and self-images of all humans: i.e., one's continence?

And yet… Julie has shown me differently. She has told me things… shown me social media sites… alerted me to subcultures and sexual fetishes that I was completely unaware of. In an unexpected development, she now claims that she finds deep comfort and pleasure even in the mere idea of requiring diapers. And in our latest meeting, she has – in her usual candid way – confessed to now masturbating exclusively to images of adult men and women wearing diapers.

How interesting.

November 24, 2035

I can't do this anymore. The rumors are getting to be too much.

We're so close to the project's end, too – so very close! The data is wonderful; we've shown almost beyond a doubt the astonishing effectiveness of associative therapy on the human psyche. Almost without exception, our participants are experiencing virtually complete urinary incontinence, night and day. Even I have begun to experience some of the same myself, much to my own professional interest.

But I can't continue working in an environment like this. The Dean wants to meet with me shortly; says I've overstepped bounds, that my position must be reviewed. I know well what it will mean, too: public inquiry, and allegations, and a disgusting media frenzy. Then the nature of my project will come out – and knowing what I do now from Julie, it will be all too easy for me to be portrayed not as a responsible academic, but as a dirty-minded pervert-

I have to get out, and fast. Even if it means leaving Julie everything behind. I don't know how yet, but I must – for my own sake. For everyone's sake-

The rest of the notebook is blank, with the single exception of the last leaf, upon which is written a single series of letters and symbols:

AB/DL?