JUST for PATRONS (& Your Loved Ones): "Another Christmas" (+ possible XMAS day webcast) (Patreon)

HELLO MY LOVES.

Well, it's that time of year and here we are.

First of all: there are so many new patrons, and I'd like to just shout a huge WELCOME, HELLO!!!...to all of you. 

It's so wonderful to have you here, and thank you for supporting my art and my writing. I don't take a single one of you for granted and it's been a very stumbly season of trying to balance life, family, work, art, house, kid and health. 

You've all been the rock-solid foundation on which I've been building my new life here in Upstate New York, and even though I'm feeling constantly behind...you've all hung in there. 

I love you all so much. To the new people: I'm especially glad to have you here in the wake of what feels like a very dark shift on social media. Twitter feels like it's collapsing, and I am praying that we can all find good, safe, kind places on that internet where we can gather. This patreon has always felt like one of those places, and especially so right now. So thank you for taking the plunge.

And thank you all for the beautiful posts on this morning's invitation to share the List of the Great Unfinished. I'm slowly reading all the responses and wow...I just...love you all as usual. I love learning about our many flaws. You always make me feel less alone. It's a two-way street, y'all. Hang in there, everybody. This time of year is always extra bumpy. Give yourself as much extra love and patience as you can.

...............

NOW. Music and story time.

I wrote a brand new song...and I have to say, this one was a magical little struggle.

It's the first song I've finished since getting back to the states in June, and I think it's good enough to be on the next Dresden Dolls record. But I also really wanted to demo it and GET IT OUT IN TIME FOR CHRISTMAS...because, well, isn't it obvious. 

I've released so many songs in so many ways, and I think we're entering a phase where I'm going to be using this patreon platform as a lab, a workshop, a place to motivate me to write and share the little song-seeds that are going to eventually germinate into the fully-grown entity that will (if all goes according to plan, and we all know how PLANS GO LATELY) be the beautiful garden that is The Next Big Record: the first full-length album that my band will have created and released in about 15 years. YIKES....our last official album, "No, Virginia", came out in 2008. 

The cover photo for this demo was taken by me, just down the road here in Woodstock, and the design was created by Andrew Nelson (who also did the art of Theater is Evil and There Will Be No Intermission).

Here is my offering: the song is embedded here, and $3+ patrons: there will be a second post coming shortly with a link to DOWNLOAD the song.

$5+ patrons: as a little treat, we're gonna send out the lyric and chord sheet out so YOU CAN PLAY THIS SONG AT ALL YOUR CHRISTMAS PARTIES. Watch for that post in a moment.

And if you love the song...as I hope you all will....and you want to share it - like a special underground bootleg of holiday joy and sorrow - with your friends, family, and loved ones...go for it. 

Maybe you know someone who really needs to hear it.

Maybe you telling them that this is an unreleased Amanda Palmer demo for the new Dolls album will make them happy. Maybe they'll even make my day and join the fold. Or maybe it's just the song they need to hear right now. and if this song can reach one heart this season who needs the message - our job here is done. Deal?

All I ask is that you don’t post this link or file anywhere on the public internet. Everyone has been really good about that, and I trust you.

So listen. Then go share it privately if you wanna. Share the file with loved ones via text or email, or give them the link to this post and tell them to join the patreon ($3 patrons will obviously have the file itself to share, in a moment). 

This isn't the version that the dolls will release many moons from now, but that doesn't really bug me. It's a song. It lives. It breathes. It can have a few different lives. I'm not sure how the band is going to arrange it - maybe guitar and sleigh bells? Maybe piano and drums? But I know we'll be tinkering with it at upcoming shows...and we'll certainly be playing it at the New Years' show in LA...and we'll learn what we can do with it.

............

I wrote this song two Mondays ago. I was so excited that I wrote a post (well, made a Voiceramble) about it.

Later that morning, I texted my new local friend, Holly Miranda, and asked if she'd be game to learn the guitar part that I had in my head...and Holly is a wonderful friend and a trooper, and she said yes. 

So I hired her (with your money, indeed) to record the song with me and produce, engineer and master this little sonic gift. 

The recording happened a few days later at Holly's house, and then she went to town adding some extra vocals and synth sounds. The result is just wondrous.

Here we are recording at Holly's place:

....

Some songs arrive fully formed.

This was one of those songs. I woke up at 3:30 am on that Monday morning and it was just knock, knock, knocking on my songwriting door. I knew I had this upcoming Christmas benefit to play, and nothing planned or rehearsed for it. And I knew it would be a wonderful feeling to finish something, especially a New Christmas Something, for the patreon this month. 

And I knew if I dragged my sorry ass out of bed and just wrote the damn thing, I'd be able to offer it up, thing this Thing, and make payroll. It's so unromantic, these motivations, but honestly: whatever works. 

This is why I love the patreon and the monthly ass-kicking to get something OUT. I can honestly say that if I hadn't had that looming clock and thing-button, I don't think I would have gotten out of bed to take this idea, write all the lyrics from beginning to end, take the inner dictation that the song was shouting at me, and, in the words of Nike and many buddhist monks, Just Do It.

This is why - as a songwriter who often flails to find motivation and focus - the patreon means so much to me, and why having you here as my secret little family of art-cheerleaders is so deeply important. 

I used to hate the feeling of writing a good song and knowing that it might not reach human ears for years while I waited to get it onto an album. But releasing music immediately and free to the Internet didn't work either. It was artistically and spiritually satisfying, but random people don't really pay to download single songs, much less tip musicians randomly on the Internet because they enjoyed something. I believe I've found the perfect balance and medium here. 

I can motivate my inner, sometime lazy, songwriter to demo new material and get that wonderful hit of sharing something fresh out of the songwriting oven, but I don't have to go broke doing it. And you can all take a special pride in knowing you're keeping my bills and team paid while I work work work, even though this song won't get "officially" released for a long time. 

(I did this, by the way, with a few songs on "There Will Be No Intermission". Both "Drowning In The Sound" and "The Ride" were released as demos just to the patrons before I gave them the full production treatment on the final record, and it helped greatly to know that the songs WORKED.)

........

So a little more about what went into this song, which is also the nice part about this little backstage lab. I can tell how how things are coming about, and the strange ingredients and synchronicities that go into the making of the song-sausage.

I had just spent the previous Friday in Coxsackie Correctional Facility, a maximum security state prison in Coxsackie, Greene County, New York. (It currently houses approximately 900 inmates - all men).

A handful of the men gave TED-style talks about their experiences on the inside. Some of these men are serving life sentences. Some of their stories were harrowing: murder, manslaughter, domestic violence. But the thread was always there, underneath, the way it was in the visit I took to another prison in Massachusetts that gave ride to the "Coyote" story I told on the "There Will Be No Intermission" tour in 2019. Always, there is hope. Always, there is a path to forgiveness. Always, there is a crack that lets the light in. I cried several times that day, seeing the parallels between their stories and my own. It was an overwhelmingly emotional, and one day I still hope to have more time to write about in detail. 

I am thinking about all the men I met right now. I am thinking about how it must feel to spend the holidays in prison. I don't know if I can ever know quite how that feels.

And then there was the bridge.

There is a massive bridge - the Rhinecliff - that spans the Hudson river near my house. I had just crossed the bridge. This isn't the sign about which I sing, but if you've crossed a bridge, you've seen these signs.

There is hope.

Make the call.

The sign on the Rhinecliff Bridge, though, is seasonal. It's a massive flashing construction sign. But instead of detour or construction information, it says THERE IS STILL HOPE, alternating with a phone number. 

Oh....god.

Like the Christmas lights that go out on everybody's lawns and roofs this time of year, it goes up when the suicide rates off the bridge go up. Suicide rates go up around the holidays. And so the signs sprout up along with them.

Like a perennial flower.

..........

I sang the song this past weekend at "The Sounding Joy", an annual fundraiser for The Washbourne House, a domestic violence shelter here in town. Playing it in front of my little local community was powerful. People understood it, and they...know that bridge. Holly was out of town so I asked a young local guitar player, Storey Littleton, to play the guitar part, and she nailed it beautifully. If you've been on the patreon for a while, you'll recognize Storey - she was one of the gorgeous voices on "Star of Wonder", a Christmas song from a few years ago....the one where we crowdsourced photos from all of you. 

We got a little video clip of it that I'm hoping to send you as well (just for you, again, and maybe I'll include it in the upcoming Althing for good measure).

Here we are, that's Storey behind me:

photo by Anthony Mulcahy

I'm going to donate a chunk of this Thing Money to the house as well.

If you'd like to make an additional donation to The Washbourne House, you can do so here: https://www.familyofwoodstockinc.org/domestic-violence-services/washbourne-house/

And on Christmas day - if the weather allows - I'm going to also play this song live on the radio in Woodstock (WDST) with Holly if she can make it. I'll post if we do it, and either way, I'm going to try to do a spontaneous Christmas Day webcast and invite you all to hear the song in person, and I'll do a little poem reading and send you all some winter heart-holding. I know we could all use it. No promises, there's family here, and the weather is crazy, and kids get sick But I'll try.

.........

OK. GO LISTEN TO THE SONG.

Wear headphones, please, it works better with THE FEELINGS.

Or listen in the car with the volume cranked way up.

Have a hanky handy.

I hope this song, like the lights, like the sign, like the domestic violence shelters, brings you a little bit of hope.

You all give me so much hope. Just you being here and reading my posts, and forgiving me my slowness nowadays as I hibernate and try to find my footing here, it means the world.

You've all helped my kid, and held my hand. 

Even though I barely know you. 

I love you all so much. I really do.

There is hope.

Make the call.

xxxx

Amanda

P.S. I usually post the lyrics...but I kinda don't want to. They're really clear and I want to make sure you listen with your ears. Am I mean?

P.P.S. I'm reading all the comments, as usual. Talk to me. You know I love thoughts and feelings.

........

CREDITS:

“Another Christmas”

Music & words by Amanda Palmer

Guitar, synth and extra vocals: Holly Miranda

Engineered, Produced and Mixed by Holly Miranda at Eye Knee Studios.

------THE NEVER-ENDING AS ALWAYS---------

1. if you are a patron and new to my work, don’t forget your patronage allows you access to ALL of my patreon releases to date. HERE is the link to download my latest big solo record, “There Will Be No Intermission”, and HERE is a link to download the PDF of the art/essay book that goes with it.

2. if you’re a patron reading this post via an email notification, please click through to comment on this post. at the very least, if you’ve read it, indicate that by using the heart symbol. that's always nice for me to see, so i know who's reading.

3. see All the Things (over 150 of them) i've made so far on patreon:

http://amandapalmer.net/things

4. JOIN THE SHADOWBOX COMMUNITY FORUM, find your people, and discuss everything: https://forum.theshadowbox.net/

5. new to my music and TOTALLY OVERWHELMED? TAKE A WALK THROUGH AMANDALANDA….we made a basic list of my greatest hits n stuff (at least up until a few years ago, this desperately needs updating) on this lovely page: http://amandalanda.amandapalmer.net/

6. general AFP/patreon-related questions? ask away, someone will answer: patronhelp@amandapalmer.net