thanks, givings, sighs. (Patreon)

ah, facebook.

you know....i love you guys. i really do.

yesterday i posted this photo to twitter, tumblr and facebook, and said:

regarding this comment. here's a public service announcement: **IF YOU COME ACROSS AN AMERICAN ARTIST, WRITER, JOURNALIST OR MUSICIAN RIGHT NOW WHO HAS NO POLITICAL OPINIONS AND/OR IS AFRAID OF TALKING POLITICS, BE VERY CONCERNED.**

go back to germany in 1935 and tell paul klee, bertolt brecht and the other poets, musicians, painters and novelists that "politics" had nothing to do with their "real lives".

"life stories..."?  "things about my child...."?

these ARE the stories of my life.

if i thought that donald trump was going to have no effect on my life story...the story of my child...the story of my 300 million american brothers and sisters...i'd shut up. really i would.

it's a good time to drag this evergreen quote out:

"First they came for the Socialists, and I did not speak out— Because I was not a Socialist.Then they came for the Trade Unionists, and I did not speak out—Because I was not a Trade Unionist. Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out—  Because I was not a Jew. Then they came for me—and there was no one left to speak for me."

-from Martin Niemöller, 1892–1984, who was a prominent Protestant pastor / outspoken public foe of Adolf Hitler and spent the last seven years of Nazi rule in concentration camps.

are you ready to speak? are you ready to listen?

because it's about to get very, VERY loud.

and it must, because if we don't speak now, we will regret it.

love, amanda

(and to drive the point home....this was typed and cut and pasted while literally breastfeeding a baby.)

.........

it was widely shared.

.......

but.

man, i love you guys.....here.

i'm stepping away from a house full of 22 people to just tell you that...i mean it, a lot. i stood in a silent room just now, i lit 100 candles, and i thought about how lucky i am to have this space to talk with you. it's a conversation i treasure.

since it's thanksgiving and family tensions across the land are high (i've been seeing people freaking on twitter and facebook about going home to their trumped-up, racist, homophobic relatives), i posted something on facebook this morning about how this was a good time, when breaking bread, to say less, listen more, stop and consider your words, try extra hard to be compassionate...family times are hard. 

that we're better off not yelling at each other.

i wound up getting yelled at on facebook.

you know what?

sometimes i just want to give up altogehter, saying anything.

it can be so exhausting, explaining yourself. worrying about being misunderstood. arguing. feeling like you'd be better off just saying nothing, posting nothing, looking at nothing. hiding. dying. giving up.

a half an hour after this post, i was like...why am i spending thanksgiving day argiung with a girl i've never met about trigger warnings? how'd this happen?

but, man. here we are. it's so important to find the way in.

i was about to say "we all have to live in this world together..." but i stopped and reconsidered. we all GET to live in this world together. it's insane - we are billions of unique mammals sharing this earth. it seems like it's getting harder every day to accept that it's a blessing, not a curse, that we all wound up here in the same place and the same time.

anyway, as i found myself (as i often do) defending myself and trying to explain myself (say "less" doesn't mean "say nothing", and all that)....i just found myself feeling incredible grateful that as twitter and facebook get taken over by the angry and angrier...i have this community, where people seem to want to actively be kind to one another, where we speak with love, where it isn't a fight to the top comment and it isn't a case of the angiest one winning the debate.

the internet itself and the way we communucate is changing every day...and i'm so glad i have this little haven to talk to my tribe (and i even like being wrong, and corrected.)

you guys are a wonderful family. a real one. i feel loved and understood here, and i appreciate it more every day. 

i give thanks to every last one of you...

i hope wherever you are, whether you're with family, or friends, or strangers or alone...somewhere in the woods of upstate new york, some dumb rock star truly loves you.

......

and here's what i posted earlier today on facebook . maybe it'll come in handy....

......

from the desk of WHY CANT WE ALL JUST GET ALONG. because it's thanksgiving in the states today, i'm seeing a lot of people on my feeds anxious about dealing with the politics of family and family differences in politics. a lot of people have to break bread today with people whose opinions drive them fucking crazy. 

it's a good time to remember that being *right* and *winning* isn't always preferable, and in the wise words of my beautiful and multitude-containing mentor, anthony: "say less." 

maybe make it a practice today not to interrupt somebody's rant (even if you think it's racist, misguided, harmful, trumpian speech). 

maybe make it a practice today not to argue or debate or win the point you know you can win, but instead to let your homophobic uncle (or whoever/whatever) fully express themselves, their anger, their fear, their hate...whatever. there can be an incredible poetry in saying less, especially when your opposition is getting their hackles up and is expecting you to interrupt at ever turn. 

silence is powerful.
not passive-aggressive, fuck-you, sit-there-rolling-your-eyes-with-your-arms-crossed silence. but real compassionate listening. everybody has their story. listen.

try it.

here is a helpful tool from our friend, the poet Rumi, who suggests that we use the three gates before saying anything. so before you're about to raise your voice with WTF over the potatoes, filter your speech through these three gates:

-is it true?

-is it necessary?

-is it kind?

if not...try not saying it. it'll at least be an interesting experiment.

the mantra. say less. hang up coat. say less. pour coffee. say less. go to bathroom. pee. say less. eat meal. cut pie. say less. listen more.

don't say nothing. but try saying less.

tell me how it goes. 

xxx

AFP

p.s. click through to comment. and if you need some goodnight moon, don't forget it's there for you:

https://soundcloud.com/amandapalmer/goodnight-moon/s-d3Z7i