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HOW ARE YOU DOING? I LOVE YOU. quick update & stream-a-thon news (Patreon)

Published:
2020-03-18 01:47:50
Imported:
2023-03

Content

{public post

**THE EMPTY-CHRUCH WEBCAST THAT NEIL AND I DID IN WELLONGTON IS FREE AND ONLINE. GO WATCH THE ARCHIVE: https://www.crowdcast.io/e/music-in-the-time-of** IT'S TWO HOURS LONG!!!**......NEIL READS GOODNIGHT MOON AND "MASQUE OF THE RED DEATH" BY EDGAR ALLAN POE AND WHAT ELSE COULD YOU WANT RIGHT NOW.

OK

FIRST THINGS FIRST:

shit's crazy. i know. nobody is pretending.

i want to remind you that YOU ARE NOT ALONE and if you are feeling sad, depressed, anxious, weird, thrilled, happy, suicidal...IT IS ALL NORMAL.

IT IS ALL NORMAL BECAUSE YOU ARE HAVING A NORAML REACTION TO AN ABNORMAL SITUATION.

you are not alone.

you are not alone.

you are NOT. ALONE. 

even if you are alone.

................

checking in and reading comments, how are you doing?

where are you? are you sick? ok? isolated? working? confused?

please check in.

i'm reading.

.....

the team is going to work extra hard to get our discussion forum up.

i am going to fast-track that.

we need it bad.

michael and hayley are safely hunkered in NY. 

jordan made it out of NZ just in time to get home to sydney before the quarantine.

alex is home in london and safe.

everyone on team AFP is ok and we are all holding our breaths.

......

as far as me and neil and ash....

we gathered up all the first aid supplies and BOOKS we could carry in wellington and we hit the road....

and we high-tailed up up here to a spot where i was supposed to be on a two=day northern NZ vacation with my friends.

things here in our new iso-house in northern NZ are going fast and tumbl-y but stabilizing.

i posted this yesterday:

FUCK. YOU GUYS.....

eek.

........

i just got off a zoom call from a soundcheck online for a stream-a-thon...info below.

THERE WILL BE LOTS OF STREAMING, i swear, i gotta. i needed to collapse but now i need to connect and help. 

oh fuck. y'all.....

i have a lot on my heart and everyone here is exhausted.

please forgive me while i keep this one short with important news, all the feelings and stories of the last few days will get poured out afterwards.

neil and i and ash and xanthea made it by the skin of our fucking teeth to an isolated house in the north of new zealand. we are with our friends and safe and happy and lucky as fuck. the whole story is crazy. i will tell you in the days to come, and it looks like i'll have a lot of time to stream, write, discuss...and everything.

right now we are just getting our footing, and groceries.

MOST IMPORTANT, RIGHT NOW....

WE ARE A FUCKING COMMUNITY.

A GOOD ONE.

WE ARE GOING TO HELP EACH OTHER AND HELP OTHERS. YOU HEAR ME??

i am going to be online a LOT to connect us all as much as i can and collect our story as it happens. i'm as overwhelmed as you. i'm scared. i'm sad. i'm breathing and smiling and trying not to freak out too much.we are humans.

we are good at this.

i've been on my phone in transit for the last four days trying to figure out how i (and we) can best help the artists who are getting well and truly fucked by this. everyone is fragile, but i'm going to focus my energy right now where i know my stuff: the music and art and creator community. my own friends are losing hope and housing and i wanna help them out and STAT.

......

first thing:

ON WEDNESDAY, MARCH 18th at 4-7 pm PDT, I AM JOINING JACK @ PATREON AND A BUNCH OF OTHER ARTISTS FOR AN EMERGENCY STREAM-A-THON TO COLLECT MONEY FOR HARD-HIT ARTIST. please RSVP. 

GET READY TO DONATE.

https://events.patreon.com/weirdstreamathon?utm_source=organic&utm_medium=direct&utm_campaign=streamathon&utm_content=homepage

.............

breathe in breathe out.

ALSO, here's a great little review of the webcast to an empty church neil and i did in wellington


https://www.rnz.co.nz/news/on-the-inside/411985/covid-19-finding-a-community-in-isolation-at-palmer-and-gaiman-s-show

i'm gonna cry

.....

lots more soon.

let me now how and where you are, please

talk to each other.

be here now.


x

x

x

a


 

------THE NEVER-ENDING AS ALWAYS---------

1. if you’re a patron, please click through to comment on this post. at the very least, if you’ve read it, indicate that by using the heart symbol.

2. see All the Things i've made so far on patreon: http://amandapalmer.net/patreon-things

3. A NEW IMPROVED FORUM IS COMING BUT FOR NOW…..please join the official AFP-patron facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/afpland

4. new to my music and TOTALLY OVERWHELMED? TAKE A WALK THROUGH AMANDALANDA….we made a basic list of my greatest hits n stuff (at least up until a few years ago, this desperately needs updating) on this lovely page: http://amandalanda.amandapalmer.net/

5. general AFP/patreon-related questions? ask away, someone will answer: patronhelp@amandapalmer.net

Files

Comments

Anonymous

In Seattle. Feeling a bit cooped up in my studio apartment. I'm glad to have my two kitties so that I don't feel completely socially isolated. My partner also lives just a few streets over so we have been able to hang out a little which has also been helpful. Overall I'm pretty anxious about financial shit. I was laid off from my job last month. For now, I have unemployment and some savings. It seems unlikely that I will be able to find a new job anytime soon. I've been trying to occupy myself with knitting, baking, and reading. How I'm doing seems to vary from moment to moment. I'll start to think that I'm happy to have time to just focus on doing the things I love and then I'll worry about money and then I'll be excited to snuggle my kitties and then I'll start to feel lonely for human contact. I guess I'll just keep taking it breath by breath.

Kathryn Drew

I just got home from Christchurch. I have ME/chronic fatigue, for five years, and the huge road trip south to see you with my mum - who I feel like I have to parent - has really pushed my capacities so I'm feeling really wiped out and struggling to just be. I'm glad I got to see you but really sad to not see your scripted show I've been excited about for months and months and determined to figure out a way to manage to get to, this was like my One event of the last six months, I even avoided watching the live streams so as to not ruin the show. I was so yearning to go on that journey with you. Of course I understand and accept your choices and am grateful to have got to see you play at all. I have so much to be grateful for and feel lousy about feeling disappointed about something seemingly so minor compared to people's livelihoods being cancelled. I'm so exhausted. I'm in need of darkness and silence and solitude but there's builders and diggers going on nearby and it's hurting my brain and I just keep crying. My illness has been so bad that I've been mostly isolated, housebound, barely able to manage social interactions for the last six months. So if we have to go into lockdown here then I'm used to it. Actually i'm really sad though because somehow seeing everyone else talking about how hard it is to be in isolation is reminding me of how long I have had to live that way, barely managing to take care of my physical needs, barely capable of interacting whilst desperate for physical connection, while the rest of the world rushes along ....such mixed feelings right now. Feeling uber depleted and selfish and totally fucking drained. After some deep rest I hope I can feel more compassion and love pouring outwards like I usually do...i'm really glad you are safe here in Aotearoa with your Neil and Ash and I really want you to get some rest. I just want to hold your hands and look into your eyes and hold you and show/tell you with those gestures how grateful I am for you but we couldn't do that in Christchurch and I'll just have to wait til next time I see you x

Anonymous

I enjoy my morning walks. I just have to cross the road and to walk in the country side. I see more people walking now, but there is enough room to keep distance!! When my son moved out the dog of my parents (the died end 2015) went with him. He needs her. She (Puck) gives meaning and structure to his life. It took me a while to pick up my morning walks. Now it is routine. And my dog, who died in 2018, is walking with me. In the Netherlands we also have to work from home if possible. Pubs and restaurants, sportsclubs etcetera are closed. When I was in the supermarket in my neighbourhood it was ok. Some shelves (pasta, toilet paper????, and milk) were less packed. I live in a small town. Next week I am going back to work. I work as trainmanager. The trains has to run for the people who cannot work from home and have to go to work. Office people work from home. Will be strange to see the empty stations and trains. Next week the Dutch Railways (NS) will run a basic schedule. Stay safe

Anonymous

Olds, Alberta. Currently social distancing, with the intent to isolate shortly. Feeling fine, just...overwhelmed. Most schoolwork is marching forward in an online format starting Monday, deadlines aren't changing, and I have to move out of residence by Sunday. I just want this weekend to fucking breathe and collect myself, because I'm not used to feeling scattered and like I have absolutely no agency, but I have a paper due Sunday night that I haven't even started on (because I'm trying to focus on not completely losing it right now). I miss my family and my dog. I wish I hadn't tried to wait things out so I could be at home with them instead of being worried about possibly being a carrier and bringing it home to my mom who's immunocompromised. This really fucking sucks.

Satan

it's getting wilder and wilder here (PDX). everything's shut down. bars & restaurants, the streets feel deserted. i'm lucky to already work from home, my employment is reasonably safe. but that is NOT the case for most of my friends, and i'm worried. i'm a pharma/biotech journalist, i know what's going on on a level that most folks might not reach by just watching the news. and i am increasingly concerned about how long this is going to stretch out before things can even begin to go back to normal. you just MIGHT be safer where you are... but who knows.

Anonymous

NZ, Auckland. NZ has just gone to Alert Level 3, with Alert Level 4 in the next 48 hours. As of Wednesday we're getting into full isolation except for essential services. Stay safe Amanda, Neil and Ash! Glad you three are here in NZ as safe as can be reasonably expected right now. Love for you all! Good luck to everyone, stay safe and be kind to each other.

Anonymous

Hi Amanda! I'm glad you and Neil and Ash are safe in New Zealand and that NZ is taking this seriously but also compassionately. What a difference from the madness it's been here, in US, in Seattle, where some of us have been staying at home for weeks to stop this thing and others have been partying at Alki, and going to the parks with kids. It's a mess. It's frustrating. I'm staying home with my son who's now doing online learning, he's 11. I basically cannot leave his side all of the school day cause he needs help with everything. Or most of it. It's good. I mean I am glad I can help. But it's also hard. Cause no self time. And I'm looking for a job. In the worst of times. If anybody needs any editing or writing done, creative or technical, I'm your person. :) Anyway, be well. Love from Seattle!

Anonymous

Work from home 🏡👍🏻

Jerry Peckery

No Work, my company will probably fold, OK thanks to credit cards....

Anonymous

Sorry, Amanda, have to drop my support for now. I am a healthcare provider no longer infatuated with rock stars and artists. I love you, your family and anyone in need of real care. Contact me in real need of care. I am here for you and yours. M.Scott Fontenot, RN, BSN

Anonymous

In Leicestershire, UK. The current rules came in on 23rd March, so just over 2 weeks ago. But measures were being gradually introduced in the week before that - eg: 20th March was the last day restaurants, bars etc. were allowed to be open and people in office jobs were already working from home mostly. Schools are closed and we are only supposed to leave our homes to shop for essentials or to exercise once per day (unless you are a key worker and have to go to work). It's not really enforced strictly - you don't have to fill in a form about why you're leaving the house like in France etc. It's just me and my partner, so very peaceful at home. I think there's a huge difference in this experience depending on whether you have kids or not. I'm feeling good, but also feeling kind of guilty about feeling good when other people are struggling. Normally as a teacher my life feels like a sprint where I can't stop to think, breathe, clean, etc. until the holidays come around. I neglect myself, my relationships, my home, and then try to make up for it in the school holidays, so I'm always counting down to them and it's a big deal when I reach that finish line. So this feels very weird and empty. I'm used to being busy and having a lot of routine so am trying to invent new routines with scheduled exercise and mealtimes. I am trying to learn how to relax but I am just not in the habit of doing normal people stuff like watching TV, so I find myself sitting at my computer still. I know I'm incredibly lucky to be financially secure, living in an area where there's plenty of space to walk outside. It just feels very WEIRD.

Anonymous

Shelter at home since March something, like mid-March, I think. I can't keep the days straight anymore. I'm in Redlands, California. It's in San Bernardino county, where it's just been made mandatory to wear a mask if leaving home (hopefully only for essential activities like buying food or going to work). I'm a stay-at-home Momma to a high energy 5-year-old little boy and have been since he was born. It can be a lonely existence under normal circumstances, my 3 closest friends all live in different cities and have kids of their own and I don't have any friends here in Redlands, just apartment neighbors that are aquaintances. Not being able to visit my parents and see my sister is rough, because we used to visit them almost every weekend. I miss them. I miss cooking big family meals together and watching stupid shit on tv and laughing together too. My husband is a grocery warehouse lead and has a team her works with and they are all considered essential, so he works, sometimes 6 days and often has 14 hour days. My son and I miss him and he is usually already in bed by the time Daddy gets home. I try to have him up early in the morning so he can see Daddy at least an hour before he leaves for work, some days it doesn't happen though and I feel like an asshole because they won't get to see each other at all on the days where we don't get up early together. I miss taking my boy to the park to play and teaching him how to pump his legs to keep swinging and hopping onto the swing next to him, feeling like we're flying together. We miss our local library too, it's been closed since the very beginning of March. I worry like crazy about my husband going to work in a warehouse full of guys and incoming truckers with load deliveries that may pass the virus onto him and then to us at home. It's terrifying at times if I slip and let myself obsess for even a second. So I try hard not to, even still I've lost nights of sleep worrying. I cry if I watch the news or read any updates or headline stories on my phone. I try to explain to my son why we can't go anywhere together, why Momma has to wear a mask to buy groceries and why it isn't safe to go into public right now. He understands some of it, I think. But he remains joyful and funny as hell and I couldn't imagine being in our little bubble of a world right now without him. I never thought we would see such a outbreak and so many deaths from this virus around the world during my life time, I suppose I was just naiive. Now I know better. It's so surreal and strange and counter intuitive to my very friendly and social nature to avoid people at all costs. Nobody has a face anymore, just weary eyes and a mask. This feels like a terrible nightmare from The Twilight Zone. Life as we once knew it is over now, there's no going back to how things used to be. Shit is changed forever. There will only be a New Normal from now on. We must adjust and evolve or be left behind to perish. So, I'll do my best to evolve. I'm trying to grow more food, I'm listening to music everyday to keep my spirit afloat, reading huge stacks of funny stories to my son every night in bed, trying hard as hell to clean and organize all the shit that I've avoided dealing with in my home for way too long, and staying positive. All my love to everyone in this community and to you, Amanda. Sing it with me...we're all in this togetherrrr. Stay healthy and safe all. 💛 Shannan