one short wave (Patreon)

(patron-only post)

my loves 

this is ash this morning. and this is a short wave post to tell you that i am buried but alive and flailing a haply but tired arm your way. i’ve been collapsed - deliciously, relentlessly - under family, friends, guests and a not-unusual constellation of post-tour collapse, work and recording promises, email backlog and ceaseless domestic life. 

as i have learned to do: i’m not panicking, i refuse to. and i refuse to feel overwhelmed. i’m just slowing down and trying to do one thing at a time, knowing i’ll barely make a dent each day. 

and everytime i power down at the end of the day, tenoted as hell to be, disappointed in my own progress, and face the luxury of gping to sleep (BUT I DIDNT GET ENOUGH DONE) i say: i did enough. 

i know this mental trap. 

i didn’t get enough work done. i didn’t get enough things crossed off the list. i didn’t try hard enough. i didn’t spend enough tine with ash. the quality of my attention wasn’t enough. it all wasn’t enough. 

and yet. i know i’m wrong. i did enough. 

because it’s what i did. 

and i know you understand and that’s why youre my fucking patrons. writing a note like this makes me feel better, though. it’s nice and real, now. 

so yeah. 

almost up at bat: the june state of all things, a big missive about merch, blog reflecting on the retreat i just went on (with lots of you), and more. and when i truly catch up (will i?) a lot of questions and discussions about what is coming next after this album is over. 

i love you all. 

this is life. 

i hope whenever you are you’re being patient with yourself. 

it is impossible to get everything done and done right. 

make sure you are, in the wise words of a fatally ill warren zevon, enjoying every sandwich. 

i will try, too. 

and i’ll write soon. 

a