Toon It Up: Polar Punch Preview (Patreon)

“Hey dere, Mr. Glasses! You look in a rush and tired!” Brendon screeched to a halt, readjusting the bags of groceries in his hand. Didn’t want them to fall.

He turned to the cheery, goofy voice, finding its owner instantly. Nuzzled between two tall buildings was a makeshift stand (kind of like Lucy’s booth from the Peanuts, but larger). Behind the stand was a large, chubby pink dog toon.

The dog smiled, his tail wagging as he waved Brendon over. “Hey dere, buddy! You lookin’ tired dere and super rushy. What’s up?”

Brendon hesitated but answered, “Ah… just heading home. Got off a bit too early on the bus and just trying to get home with everything.”

He did like toons. Toons were fun, silly, and the life of the party. It didn’t make him feel any less awkward around them, especially with their unpredictability.

“I see, I see!” The dog nodded. “Well, da name is Jesse, and you could use a nice pick-me-up drink for da road ahead!” He reached behind the booth and pulled out a large menu, plopping it down on the counter.

The dog smiled, looking proud of himself. “All funds go towards gettin’ me a real food van. Then I’lls be a true toony salesman and on da move!”

“I see.” Brendon walked over and looked at the list. He suddenly felt so overwhelmed (and a bit perplexed). There were so many drinks listed on the menu, some of which he never heard of and some that sounded a little… sketchy.

“Eh… maybe just some water for the road?"

“WAH?!” Jesse’s floppy ears flung up high. “Dat’s no fun!”

“Well, it’s not like I’m really all that thirsty or-”

“Nah-ah! My doggie senses tingled! You need a drink!” A lightbulb appeared above Jesse’s head. “OH! I know! I’ll toss in a free special container! It’s like a lunchbox but it can fit all your groceries in it so you don’t have to lug them around!”

It seemed kind of silly and impossible to Brendon, but then again, toons made fools out of physics and science on a daily basis. “Okay, I guess I’ll try something then.”

He looked back at the list, quickly scanning it until he hit something normal. “I’ll go with some lemona-”

“Polar Punch!” Jesse barked, “Polar Punch is what you want. I can tell. You look like a Polar Cola fan, so one of their sub brands would be peeeeerfect for you!”

“Ah… I wanted lemonade.”

“No no!” Jesse wagged a fat, gloved finger in his face. “What you want is Polar Punch! It’s made from finest toon sugars and tasty, tropical fruits to make the bestest tastin’ punch you’ll ever have! It’ll give ya the means and weight to make it through to home, no prob~!”

That does sound good. Brendon nodded. “Alright, I’ll give it a shot then.” Jesse smiled and dived under the stand briefly before returning with a can. It had “Polar Punch” splayed across its front, a toony polar bear mascot giving a thumbs up just slightly below it.

The two traded, Brendon taking the can as the toon took his groceries. The dog pulled out what looked like a small lunchbox and slowly started packing things into it. The magic of toon physics and logic was something to behold.

But there was a drink to be drunk. Brendon cracked open the can, a soft aroma radiating from it almost instantly. Smelled very good at least. He took a sip.

He let out a small “Aww” and sighed. Not bad at all! “Shucks dawg, dat was some good ol fashioned, tasty punch, right dere~.”