Toon It Up: Hired Stink Preview (Patreon)

Toby, hesitantly, headed through the opening in the wall where a door used to be. He still needed a job. Couldn’t turn down an opportunity like this with the way things were in the world. Plus, maybe this was just a prank for some show and they would pay him for being on?

Far shot, but still, his hope was moderately raised by a sight up ahead. There was a folded out sign, a red balloon attached to it, near a metal door. “Interviews inside. Please knock.” was written on it.

Here goes nothing. Toby headed over and knocked on the door. No response.

No response for almost a minute until there was a sharp crackle. The intercom beside the door pulsated. A deep, silly voice bellowed out of it, “Who’s dere?”

Weird but Toby wasn’t one to judge. He cleared his throat. “My name is Toby Ford. I have a job interview here today.”

There was a short silence before the intercom boomed again. “Oh yeahs! Youse the job interviewee! C’mon on ins!”

The door creaked and opened, sort of. It only budged a crack open, darkness only being visible through it. Still, he was invited so Toby entered.

Bam! The door slammed shut, and Toby was surrounded by darkness. Yoink. A bunch of white, thick gloves appeared all around and grabbed him. Baaaump! He was tossed into a nearby office chair and started wheeling away, the shock of everything giving him too much whiplash to fight back or move.

A few seconds later, light returned, and he could see around him. In particular, he could see a bunch of toon weasels and dogs in suits and old-timey, thuggish clothes were pushing him along. He looked between all of their mugs, gleaming with excitement.

“Dis way to da boss!” The group entered into a larger, brighter room. It was a pristine, but still somewhat grimy warehouse. There were tons of crates, barrels, and boxes being moved about and examined by many other similar toons. The whole situation felt a bit… shady.

But Toby was in no position to make such a comment. He went along for the ride, eventually wheeled into an open air, grated elevator. They rode it up until they stopped at what looked to be a fancy office. He was pushed all the way up to a large desk, and the elevator cracked, the goons leaving him.

Toby glanced around the office. Lots of bookshelves, filing cabinets, a fan overhead, and even an out of place fireplace within the building itself. So much more tidy compared to the rest of the place.

“So, you have arrived,” a grizzled voice spoke. Toby sat at attention, looking towards the big chair behind the desk that faced away from him.

Creeeeeak. The chair slowly turned, revealing its occupant. It was a bear, a large, fat, toon bear. His brown fur was ruffled, his big gut popping out over his dress pants and not remotely covered by his business suit or undershirt.

Toby gulped, feeling that intimidation building up. The bear reached over to a small box on the desk, pulling out a cigar. Nestling it between his fingers, his gloved paws moved over to a large laptop. He spoke, “Good mornin’, Mister… Ford?”

The bear snorted as he looked at whatever he had opened on his screen. He eyed its contents and then Toby. ‘Sorry if da boys were rough with ya, but deys can get very enthusiastic about new boys comin’ and joinin’.”

The feeling was definitely not mutual on Toby’s side, his sides and arms feeling a little sore after all that grabbing. Still, best not to bring that up to the bear who could flatten him like a pizza no doubt.

Turning from his laptop, the bear stared down Toby, who felt smaller and smaller by the second. “So, let’s talk ‘bout da operations around heres. We operates in da business of delivering valuable goods ta da fine folks around here. Anything dey don’t feel comfortable usin’ a regular shippin’ service for, we step in. Perfectly all above board ands legal, ya knows.”

“Of course.” Of course, sure… Toby frowned internally. None of this didn’t sound shady at all. No good sir, all perfectly “above board” and “legal”.