Home
Artists
Search Recent Random
Posts
Search DMs Popular Hash Lookup Tags Random
Importer
Import FAQ
Register
Partychan Telegram ThePornDude
Home Artists Posts Import Register

Sneak peek/behind the scenes *spoilers* (Patreon)

Published:
2017-03-01 03:46:43
Imported:
2023-02

Content

Hello Patreon brains!

I wanted to start posting more behind the scenes content, so I shot this just now after recording the episode that'll go up in the next week or two -- about the stigma around ADHD medication -- to explain why I wrote it. It's a personal one, and got kind of emotional. 

Don't watch if you don't like spoilers! 

Files

Patreon Behind the Scenes of "What Happened When I Went Off My Meds" episode

warning: spoilers! If you prefer to be surprised, you might want to wait to watch this until after the actual video is released in a couple of weeks :) This is me right after shooting the episode, talking to you about why I wrote it.

Comments

Anonymous

Thanks for sharing! I've been trying out diff doses and can't seem to get it right and just about gave up. 😔 But I have an appt with my doc tomorrow to try, try again!

How to ADHD
>>4102974

awww, yeah, someday we'll know more about which meds and doses are right for which people, but for now unfortunately it's a grand experiment and your guess is as good as anyone's which will work. Doctors themselves don't know until they try. Hang in there <3<3

Anonymous

Rory and I have been on a search with our doctor for the right medication. Sadly one of the ones that seems to help him the most is Strattera, which is $400-$500 per month (and he is also on Concerta- the two in tandem seem to work, though he does sometimes suffer from mood drops at the end of the day). We are having a lot of trouble affording the medication. So much so that we tried a week without it, and he had SO much trouble. First day back on and he had an amazing day at school. This stuff WORKS and there is no shame in it (at least there shouldn't be). My parents, though, thought for a long time that it was the Ritalin that my brother was on in his teens that led to his suicide so I resisted medication for Rory - which I am now ashamed of now that I see how much they help him!!!

Anonymous

...and thank you for the genuine honesty. It helps my son so much to know his struggles are not unique to him. You are a hero!!!

Anonymous

Jess, you know what has been going on with me and my trials and issues. I am after 5 plus years working where I working basically on probation. This is the type were less than 5% actually make it. I have sent you the pictures were I hit myself because the internal guilt of failing. My right arms looks like the left now. I had a meeting with HR Monday were is called unprofessional and everything I did was "WRONG". I could do a work place accommodation but they will turn it down because it part of the job. Today when something happened, I asked a co-worker a question she answered, but it created more questions. I ended taking more of my anxiety medication. The whole time in the back of my head I am thinking how much medicine I that to be "normal" to function in the work place. I hate the word "normal", because I am a unique, talented UNIX system administrator. I have told I was the managers top performer, that I was the best at following through with the paperwork. I get the stuff that falls behind because someone else dropped the ball. Bottom line my work that I do works!!!! But, why do I have to more meds to be normal because someone can only give me a piece of the puzzle. I saw my med doctor Monday and had her put me on the lowest dose Exfferor. I did not want to, but I need to numb myself or I will go crazy. I hate using the medication, since (for me) hard to get off. I had a friend in St Louis telling me what to say to the doctor. I finally told her to stop texting. No one should feel guilty for taking there meds. No one should take meds to be a "normal drone". I had a counseling session today and my phone rang when I in there. It was a headhunter in Columbus for another position. I now have two possibilities where I want to be and both are in a hurry. I can struggle and by without the medication, but it is a constant battle to get things done. People are like just do it. It does not work that way. I feel for you and anyone else that feels that way. My six sense. Is so in tune with people that a co-worker who was diabetic and driving at lunch and something was not right that day. Half way to the store I asked the last time he checked he blood sugar. He checked it and was dipping, so would I have been able to pick upon it if I was numbed up?

Anonymous

Thank you so much Jessica, for sharing your vulnerability and courage with us. You eloquently describe what I'm feeling! In case you haven't seen it, there's a fantastic five-hour video on ADHD medications by Totally ADHD (Rick Green). Since I'm not on a medication yet, I've been trying for over a month and still haven't been able to finish watching it! (I'm watching so I can decide which medication to start with, since my psychiatrist is letting me choose). I had to face how tremendously my life has been affected by ADHD before I finally became willing to try a stimulant medication.

Anonymous

❤️❤️❤️

How to ADHD
>>4103730

FIVE HOURS? okay I've never sat through five hours of anything before, but I'll do it as part of my research for that episode for the sake of others who won't be able to make it through that lol. Thank you! I love Rick Green's work!

Anonymous
>>4103194

FYI, my doctor told me that Strattera is going generic soon so should become a lot more affordable. He also mentioned that Wellbutrin (which has a generic) is similar to Strattera and has a similar impact. Might be worth asking your doctor about.

How to ADHD
>>4103674

I do know how tough things have been for you, I hope the episode is an inspiration to you as well not to feel bad about taking meds. There's a difference between "numbing" and "bringing focus and feelings into a functional range." Thank you for the comment. *hugs*

Nicholas Ruff

I love you, Jessica. This video is how I'd felt for a long time, and it took a while for me to accept that medication doesn't take away your autonomy, or make you a lesser person. It doesn't define you.

How to ADHD
>>4103214

Awww :) I'm just so glad opening up about my struggles is able to help others through theirs. Rory is lucky to have such a supportive dad, I hear from kids all the time saying they don't know how to talk to their parents about possibly having ADHD, and even that they tried to and their parents dismissed them as just being lazy. It breaks my heart every time. It's wonderful to hear the lengths you're going to to support Rory. <3

How to ADHD
>>4105380

*tears* thank you. I think I forget that sometimes, and wonder who I would have been without them. I've been taking them pretty much since I was 12.

Anonymous

I can so relate to your emotion and struggle with respect to this topic. After starting medication, I remember saying to my Psychiatrist "but this is not the real me... this is a fake version of me that comes out of that bottle". So heavy was the guilt that I actually felt like I was cheating somehow. I know now how completely ridiculous that is. I wear contact lenses and have never once felt guilty about my vision coming out of that little case instead of naturally. I have never once been tempted to go without my lenses to try and make it through the day by squinting harder. Moreover, no one with type 2 Diabetes would ever feel guilty about taking meds for their condition or have it suggested that "if you just try harder, you could make your pancreas do what it's supposed to do". Well, the brain is just another organ in your body, just like your pancreas. Why the different standard? I will tell you that I now live, breathe, eat, sleep and drink ADHD 24/7/365 because of what I do for a living. So I've had plenty of opportunity to see this from every perspective imaginable and the stigma, arguments against and shame people project on you simply do not hold water. They are born from ignorance, and we can't do ourselves the disservice of owning the ignorance of others. Is there mis-diagnosis.... sure. Is there over diagnosis... probably (although to add to the ADHD paradox, there is also under diagnosis). Is there stimulant medication abuse... definitely. These are legitimate but very separate issues. So many people want to serve them up in a stew when they are a distinct 3 course meal with a common theme. It's unfortunate that most people approach these issues with a chainsaw, when what's required is a very fine scalpel. Sorry for such a long rant, but as you can see it also touches a nerve in me when I hear parents say things like they don't want to put their child on stimulant medication for fear of turning them into a drug addict when the statistics clearly demonstrate just the opposite. When not treated medically, kids and adults with ADHD are much more likely to self-medicate with illicit and illegal drugs. I offer you this... have confidence in what you've learned and what you know, and instead of letting your frustration rule, begin asking educated and knowledgable questions to those who are try to "shame" you. You'll soon see that their arguments are usually based on fallacies, not reality. And if you're fortunate, they will too. Keep up the stellar work and the very best as always... Brett

How to ADHD

I wholeheartedly agree with you, and some of those points I actually made in the video and others (like the fear of stimulant medication) are discussed in the links I'll be putting in the description. I know better, I know not to feel ashamed about taking meds but in that moment -- when I was trying so hard to do without them, and thought I'd found a way, and then gave up and took a pill rather than continue to struggle through on my own -- I did feel ashamed. That's when I realized all the anti-meds messages coming at us have an impact, even if intellectually we know better. So I decided to write this episode as a message to counter that :) Do you have any questions you'd suggest asking someone who insists ADHD meds aren't the answer?

Anonymous

Awwwwww....... While watching the video, I just teared up, and felt bad, because I couldn't just reach through my TV, and give you a great big comforting hug, and say "It's okay"..... :,( I've had my difficulties, accepting my diagnose, when I got it less than a year ago (aged 44). It's better now - but still I struggle to completely accept the fact. Before I got diagnosed, I was a strick "Pills? I HATE taking meds!!!" type of guy - and suddenly, there I was. Yes, my Medikinet helps me - but the dosage is not fully adjusted yet. It was a "hard pill for me to swallow" (Pun intended), to accept the fact, that I'm probably dependent on the meds, for the rest of my life. But here I am - and the meds DO work (as I proved to myself, when I forgot to take them last monday). ;) I hate my meds - but I love my meds (if that makes any sense, since it's 2.30AM here in Denmark right now - and I'm currently not medicated!!!! ;D ). Lots of LOVE, HUGS and.... MORE LOVE, to you and Edward!!! <3 <3 <3

Anonymous

Thank you for sharing!

Anonymous

Yeah...I kinda was trying not to cry during the episode, while you were trying not to cry, 'cause I could tell it was hard for you. The funny thing is that there's a stigma about nearly ALL psychiatric meds out there. I went undiagnosed with ADHD for SO LONG that forgetting my medication for a couple days is an annoyance more than anything else. That said, I have SEVERE depression, and so translating your ADHD video into my depression, I TOTALLY GOT IT!! I'm terrified of forgetting my Anti-D's because of the mess that I know that I'll turn into, and I'm SO ASHAMED to tell people that my depression is getting the better of me. MERF!! You're my superstar and I love everything that you do for us all.