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Day 275 — ADHD is Hard. (Patreon)

Published:
2019-08-09 20:03:17
Imported:
2023-02

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Day 275 — ADHD is Hard.

Comments

Anonymous

Ok, you have me crying. I am new to the realization that my routines are always needing to change and it is overwhelming but at least I am giving myself the permission to be okay with that and not beat myself up over it. Thank you...

Anonymous

If I have an appointment of any kind- I'm rarely late. That's from 14 years in the US Army. BUT- my hard part is believing in myself in many other ways. I've been toying with starting my own VLOG or maybe a podcast... but I struggle with "will anyone watch/listen?" What do I call it? I've toyed with this for over a year now- and maybe not starting it yet happened because this year has been a wild ride. My husband is deployed- thankfully he's in the states and we can talk every day at least. But his mom is now moving in with us- Sept 14th!!! I've been scrambling with decluttering- so that she will have a place to put her towels & linens, a drawer in the bathroom.... My husband took leave to come home and turn my son's old room - it was a dragon lair- into an appropriate space for his mom. This required me clearing the room of all I could before he came home & then him using a belt sander on the walls as I had put a brick pattern on there with a glaze. It took me a week to recover. It seems like everything new is always a hard start. Also I've cleaned up one area to mess up another... I've decluttered a lot of stuff- but it's still not enough. I want to be able to get back to crafting- I love to scrapbook, do mixed media, etc... but I've not been able to get back to it. :( Why is it when there is a change- I basically derail and spend more time picking up the pieces than moving forward... T

Anonymous

Sending you so much love and gratitude. I just turned 45. I was diagnosed only a few months ago. But the day before my psychologist suggested I might want to look into it (and showed me one of your videos) I had googled "How do I do executive function for my kids when I can't do it for myself." I have 5 kids, two sets of twins. At least 2 have ADHD too (diagnosed after me at 17). Quite likely all of them do and my DH too but he won't look into it yet. I've accomplished a lot in some ways but our lives are stressful and anxiety runs rampant. We're all night owls, none of us seem to be able to stick to a routine. So here I am in bed, surrounded by my journals and calendars and planners (with a fractured ankle - don't go down stairs checking voicemail) trying to figure out how we're going to manage a new school for two kids and a new job for me starting on Tuesday and fighting with my DH about routines and looking down the barrel at all my past failings and all the morning battles... We have a lot of good things going too but this daily life stuff is brutal. Your videos have helped us understand ourselves so much better and explained so much. Thank you for all that you are doing. Your honesty and your courage. Digging so deep in these tender places every episode must be so hard and exhausting. For us they provide so much relief and hope and understanding. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts. ❤️

Anonymous

It doesn't get easier. It just doesn't. Just know that we know that.

Anonymous

Yep. Uhuh. Yep. I cry my way through most of your episodes. I got diagnosed in college 26 years ago. I've done meds several times but always quit after several months because it's too hard to see the doctor to get the prescription. I've read it all, including "ADD A Different Perception" when it was brand new. I'm just now, slowly, starting to find acceptance for my "lazy stupid, horrid, loser" self . That's in large part due to your videos. My favorite right now is the "Wall of Awful". Now, when I'm wasting 10 minutes at work trying to make a simple phone call, I have a name for it. "It's my wall of awful again. It'll fade in a minute." You're teaching me tolerance and self-forgiveness.

Anonymous

Thank you so much for sharing this.

Anonymous

I really wish i could just fund you now. Seems Patreon wont’t deduct until the end of the month? Found you this past weekend, and I love this video you talk about here, and every other one I’ve watched! Thank you so much. It is so very helpful and you are making a difference. I hope that putting it ALL down on paper allows you to get some perspective on the “failures” and helps you reallize you were doing the best you could with what you knew or could access or remember at the time.

Anonymous

Jess, I'm a new Patreon and I just found your channel. I understand that you're feeling rough right now, and next month you'll probably feel like this too. But you are MORE than your ''failings'' you are more than the quirky girl on youtube, you're more than this channel and I appreciate it, I appreciate you so much but if it's hurting you, more than it's helping you - I don't want you to do it. Maybe that's backwards, because the happiness and joy that you've brought just myself even, I'll miss out, I'll feel more alone but I don't want you to feel like this! You deserve the world, you deserve everything you've dreamt of - unfortunately what we deserve and what we end up with.

Anonymous
>>29323272

I didn't realise that pressing enter would, you know, send my comment. I know, watching your video's, I was sobbing because I've felt so annoyed with myself since my Nan died, its' like my brain doesn't want to co--operate at all. I'm so grateful to you, and your channel. But only so long as it benefits YOU TOO.

Anonymous

Just watched this, and earlier today I was discussing with my therapist how HARD it is for me to develop and stick with a routine, even though I REALLY crave having a routine! I also totally get everything that you’re struggling with, but you are NOT alone, and I’m so glad I found you and that you are down to earth and “real” because now I no longer feel that I’m alone, and I actually feel “normal” compared to other “brains”! Don’t compare yourself to neuro-typical brains, even though it’s hard not to when you struggle. I totally understand what you’re going through, and I’m so thankful that you’ve been able to push through to create and provide us with such viable content!!! You rock!!!

Anonymous

Jessica, first of all ((((a million gentle hugs))))! Second, I’m a little late to this party, since I only discovered you a couple weeks ago (gasp! 😳), so I haven’t yet gotten through every video and every comment on each video. Nor have I gotten through much on your Patreon yet, but I’m glad that I can support you even a little for the immeasurable magnitude of the hope that you impart through each of your videos. I wish I could help more, but my budget, fed only by my not-that-high, fixed income really doesn’t allow for more expenses right now. Third (is this point REALLY the third one? I lost count...), if you EVER would like to create compassionate brainstorms out of our ADHD experiences, I would be HONORED to FaceTime (up to you) with you so we could bounce our ADHD baggage off one another! Besides, misery loves company, right? 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗

Anonymous
>>33014516

Eh, forgot something... surprised? No? Hmm, well at least ACT like it! 😜 Those brainstorms would be where you get the details for the content of your videos. P.S. - You are seriously helping me SO much!!! I have some pretty serious medical issues going on right now, and I not only learn from you, but I’m also pleasantly entertained at the same time! Sending you lots of hugs, love, and at least few of my spoons (I would give you more, but again, there’s a budget I need to listen to... 🥄 🥄🥄🥄🥄

Anonymous

You have the most beautiful soul I believe I’ve ever encountered. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for everything you do and for just being an amazing person. Stay strong little one. You may not believe in yourself at times, but we all believe in you.

Anonymous

I just found How to ADHD, getting out the door on time is incredibly challenging for me. Your content is really good, and deeply appreciated. At times because I deeply relate to what you are sharing, at times because it confirms that my "short comings" aren't simply I'm not doing good enough. At times it confirms that ways I have been approaching some of the challenges are on the mark. Even with all that, the getting out the door on time video is one that I'm not ready for just yet. I have tried so hard in the past to get out on time, and in order to make that happen, 95% of the time I would have to cut things off abruptly, and often leave things undone in order to leave on time. It has over the years become a massive wall of awful that I often need stress to force myself through, and high stress for too long can take an incredible toll if it isn't counterbalanced with good things / experiences. Hopefully I will soon be in a place I can watch it.