Contort me against your body and mind - Chapter 28 (Early Access) (Patreon)

Ellie

Ellie staggered to the touch screen embedded into the wall outside Commander Slate’s office.

After returning to the meeting and revealing that headphone capacities did exist for the communication headsets, the commander had ended the grouping abruptly and disappeared.

It took a fair amount of monologuing to the room to bring the humans back around. At least they seemed to still respect he; it was the commander’s head she was worried for. They couldn’t risk infighting with the whole ship being so fairly balanced (minus the lost humans from the ambush), it would lead to not only an end to the trial, but an unthinkable amount of bloodshed. Ellie genuinely didn’t know who would win if the two species turned on each other. The Ailu’t were generally physically larger and tougher, but these were Earth’s best and biggest. And humans were sly… sneakier than she felt the Ailu’t behaved. With The Cornucopia on the horizon, they couldn’t risk a single squabble. Ellie dismissed the ship to return to their duties and waited until she was stood alone in the room to sigh so hard her chest rattled.

Commander Slate had credited the compromise to Doctor Bonnie, but it did not go unnoticed that she did not return with him. And he looked rather ruffled when he did.

Ellie had known about them for a little while. Doctor Bonnie had given her a hefty hint in one of their sessions, and she had noticed them sniffing around each other since departure. There was no reason for the ship psychiatrist and the commander to be spending so much time together; the solution was obvious. Ellie had been curious at first about whether it was Slate or Doctor Bonnie seeking the other out. Slate didn't strike her as the type to give chase. At least there didn’t seem to be a power imbalance at play; Doctor Bonnie certainly didn’t take orders from Slate. So, Ellie left them to it.

Entrance permission was granted. The door slid open to reveal Slate slouched in his command chair.

Ellie approached. The door closed automatically behind her.

"Are you okay, sir?"

Slate took a few moments of staring off into the distance sadly before answering. "I am… in the doghouse with Dr Bonnie."

He had learnt this expression from Ellie, she was pretty sure.

“Guess we're just a pair of mongrels then,” she replied wearily.

Slate tilted his head in silent question.

“I just caught my first taste of an angry Effie.”

Angry may not actually be the right word. Effie had torn strips off her after the meeting ended. Just two steps out of the emptied room, her blue beaux had been waiting for her. It had kept her from debriefing with Slate sooner. A twenty-minute tirade about her own stupidity. Then Effie had stormed away, and Ellie knew better than to follow an agitated animal. So she retreated, just like her commander, into his office.

Slate nodded sagely. “We have a saying that does not translate very well. But it says small and quiet stones build tall walls.”

“People that seem really timid and weak have a better time hiding their crazy?”

“Close enough.”

Another phrase he had learnt from Ellie.

“What is your crime?” Slate asked.

“Putting myself in harm’s way. Apparently, it wasn’t necessary.”

The distress she’d brought about in Effie had had her little lover trembling. So much that she’d struggled to type clearly into her translator when searching for the English equivalent of ‘self-sacrificing moron.’

“I would agree with Effervescence there,” Slate admitted. “You should have ducked behind the barrier, especially after I was down.” The reprimand was lightly spoken, though. A father too tired to scold anymore today.

“I knew what I was doing.”

“I would be very unhappy if you had gotten yourself shot.”

“Noted, Commander,” she said quickly. “And I don’t think you need to explain why you are in trouble with your missus, too.” Even Ellie had been shocked at the tone he used with Doctor Bonnie, not that she would admit it. It wasn't her place. But it had definitely tarnished her opinion of her commander on a personal level. Men who spoke to women like that boiled Ellie's blood.

Slate sighed and dropped his head to his hands.

Ellie felt like doing the same. Instead, she said, “I think we need to come up with something beyond apologies, Commander.” Him more so than her, but she kept that to herself.

“A gift?”

Ellie grimaced. “I was imagining grovelling, but if you can get your hands on a fresh bouquet of flowers this deep into space, then make sure you nab me one, too.”

“I don’t know what that word means, but I can feel my pride bracing itself for a hit.” He lifted his face and attempted to repeat ‘grovelling,’ but it sounded more like ‘grout-ling.’

Ellie ignored the mispronunciation. “You ever begged for your life on your knees with a gun to your head?”

Slate tilted his head a little. His hair flopped to the side where it had come loose during the friendly fire. “No.”

“Me neither, but I'm feeling about ready to.”

"If a gun was at my head at this moment." He paused, as though contemplating whether or not to continue. "I would be regretting this last development in my relationship with Bonnie." With purple-tinged lips and cheeks he added, "I wish to die with long hair and a mate. I think, maybe, she is that mate."

"We're barely more than a day from The Cornucopia, sir," Ellie reminded him. "If you're serious, you've got until morning to make it right before you're going to be needed to lead us into whatever we're facing at the crash site." She folded and unfolded her arms, suddenly self-conscious. "I say that out of concern for you," she clarified awkwardly. "Person to person rather than-"

"I know." He nodded and sighed again. "I appreciate it. And you are correct. We should both put our personal lives back together as best we can before tomorrow." It felt as though they were making a pact to both take out life insurance or get their wills drawn up. "I need you there with me," he added.

"Let's divide and conquer," she said in agreement. Slate gave her a look of concerned confusion but didn't argue.

Her first stop was her own quarters, then Bonnie's office.

The good doctor didn't answer when she knocked. Or when she had knocked three times. Ellie tried the handle and found it unlocked. She cracked the door and peeked inside.

Doctor Bonnie had her chair tilted all the way back and looked to be napping, or maybe meditating. The heels of her shoes were balanced on the corner of her desk. The main light was off, but her desk lamp illuminated her face and the tear tracks that ran the length of it. Only her eyes moved when Ellie entered. She shut the door behind her. It was too late to pretend she hadn't seen anything, but that didn't mean she needed to leave an open opportunity for anyone else to peer in.

"What's up, doc?"

"My office is closed, Major,” she croaked, speaking to the ceiling.

"Sorry, I just-"

"Effie is not hiding under my desk. Please close the door on your way out."

"I was looking for you."

"Do I look like I have the capacity to offer anyone help right now?"

"I just wanted to tell you that I understand now,” Ellie said quietly. “And to thank you for your help in our sessions."

Doctor Bonnie sighed. "You want your paperwork signed before tomorrow?" she guessed.

"No. I wanted you to know that I realised today what I gained from my sick leave." She paused, but Doctor Bonnie said nothing, so Ellie kept talking. "My relationship with Effie only progressed because of my leave. I had time to spend with her instead of being solely focused on work. Normally, I just do the friends with benefits thing because I have no time for anything else. Or I thought I didn't. I pushed away a lot of people I really liked." Doctor Bonnie hadn't moved. Ellie shifted on the spot. "I really like her."

"I'm glad," Doctor Bonnie said. Her tone tired and dull. "I wish you both a happy life together."

"She's not the only person I've gotten to know on sick leave!" Ellie added hurriedly. "I spent time talking to the crew, because it was all I was allowed to do. Just checking in with them for no particular reason except to stay up to date. They talked to me about their feelings, Doctor."

"Maybe you can take over for me, then,” Doctor Bonnie murmured bitterly. “They can talk to you about their feelings, and I can go back to prescribing anti-psychotics."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Ellie, psychiatrists don't typically give people therapy. We diagnose, refer and prescribe."

"Well, you're good at it. So why stop?"

"Because I bit off more than I could chew, and no one asked me to. I've done this to myself. Ran myself into the ground, and for what?"

"Bonnie- I mean, ma'am- whatever." Ellie huffed. "I came here just to tell you that you helped me. That's what I'm trying to explain. Maybe you don't think you're helping, and people don't appreciate it at the time, but it does help."

"Thanks, Ellie." She spoke in a tone just as defeated as before. "And... you can call me Bonnie," she added.

Ellie produced the papers she had collected in her quarters (and scribbled all over) and brought them to Bonnie's desk. "It's not the one you sent to me, but I made my own lists of my body's capabilities. It's more like... groups or bubbles. I added some categories like things I can do with and without my pain meds. Or things I can do for a short time or a long time."

Bonnie snapped her seat up and spun to face her desk. Her eyes scanned the papers, jumping from bubble to bubble of Ellie's messy handwriting. It may have been drafted up at the last minute, but the contents were accurate.

"This is... really good, Ellie." She slowly lifted her eyes from the papers, still slightly uncertain and bloodshot.

"Thanks, doc."

"It makes me really happy to see this.” She looked back down. Whether for another review of the diagram, or to hide the hint of hope in her expression, Ellie wasn’t sure. “You don't even know."

"Like I said, I just came here to thank you." Effie’s outburst may have been the trigger, but Ellie realised now what Bonnie had been trying to show her. Even if she didn’t understand her path  one-hundred percent, she felt she was at least facing the right direction now.

Bonnie stared at the paper for another minute or so, then nodded to herself.

"And I suppose I can thank you by having your paperwork in order for tomorrow's landing."

"No rush," Ellie replied with a slight grin. "I'm off to find Effie and apologise until I'm blue in the face."

"I do love when couples co-ordinate their colour schemes," Bonnie mused with a soft smile.

It felt wrong to leave Bonnie in the dark, eyes still a little swollen and cheeks damp, but Ellie knew there was nothing more she could do to make her feel better. That was all on Slate now.

Effie was sulking on the ward, crouched in the corner sorting bulk packages of blue gloves into cubby holes with 'L', 'M' and 'S' scrawled underneath.

"Effie," Ellie called.

Effie stiffened but did not turn.

“Can I speak to you for a minute?”

Effie pouted over her shoulder at her, then turned back to the gloves.

“Berry!”

Effie dropped the gloves and skittered from the corner with wide eyes and purple cheeks. “Don’t!” she hissed.

Ellie allowed her lover to lead her from the ward by the elbow.

Outside the closed double doors, Effie whispered, “Please don’t call me that in front of others. I thought it was… private.”

“It is, but I needed your private attention.”

“I don’t want to speak to you right now,” Effie said sulkily.

Ellie stepped in a little closer, dropping her tone. “I want to apologise.”

“Do it then.”

“Somewhere private?”

Effie scowled.

“Okay, I’ll start apologising, and we can worry about privacy later.”

Effie nodded stiffly.

“Berry, I’m really sorry. I wasn’t thinking about anyone, even myself, when the guns were drawn in that meeting. You should have been my first priority-”

“No, you should be your first priority!” Effie snapped. “No more injuries! No more danger! Did you listen to nothing I said to you earlier?”

There was no point arguing that Ellie’s position didn’t allow her to avoid danger all the time. Instead, she said, “Can I make us both my top priority?”

Effie folded her arms over her chest and gave her a sceptical eyebrow raise. “What if there was a choice between the two of us?”

“Obviously, I would choose you. I wouldn’t let anything happen to you.”

Effie grumbled quietly, looking away as though quickly calculating whether or not she was happy with that answer.

“I would choose you, too,” she said in a tiny voice, refusing to make eye contact again.

Ellie grinned. “You’ve already saved me once, Berry.”

“That wasn’t me. That was the human doctors.”

“You took care of me afterwards. All day every day.”

Effie shrugged.

“Thank you, Effie. I should have said it before but thank you for taking care of me.”

Effie’s words were barely audible, but Ellie was fairly sure she heard, “You’re welcome.”

“Are you still upset with me?”

“A little.”

“Is there anything I can do to make it better?”

Effie shuffled a little closer, but her eyes were darting anywhere but Ellie. With a quiet laugh, Ellie snatched Effie in against her, wrapping her arms tightly around her waist. She sprinkled kisses over Effie’s beautiful blue face with loud smacking noises. Effie giggled and wriggled under the intense affection.

The double doors swung open beside them, and a pair of nurses gave them the once-over with disinterested eyes before passing them by and continuing their gossip about Doctor Nathaniel’s flirting with an Ailu’t surgeon.

“Now, we go somewhere private,” Effie said breathlessly. “There is something else we need to discuss. It is very important to me.”

They hurried to Ellie’s quarters, hand-in-hand, and avoiding any sounds of life on their way. With the door shut, they kicked their shoes off and hopped cross-legged onto Ellie’s bed, as though they were having a slumber party.

“The floor is yours.”

Effie glanced over the edge of the bed at the ground, then back up at Ellie.

“It means you have control of the conversation,” Ellie explained. “I’m listening to you.”

“Oh. Okay.” Effie nodded, still appearing confused. “Ailu’t… we are very strict when it comes to our roles in our relationships,” she said carefully.

“Roles?”

“The person that uses their penis and the person that uses their vagina.”

“Like tops and bottoms?”

“I don’t know. But it is important.”

“I didn’t think there was any confusion about who was the top and who was the bottom in this relationship, Berry.”

Effie twisted her hands in front of her. “But humans are not like us.” She used her eyes to indicate at Ellie’s crotch.

Effie had seen Ellie in her underwear, passed out on a cot in the emergency care unit while her clothes were cut from her body with safety scissors. Apparently, her girlfriend was a saint and hadn’t taken a single peek beneath the last scrap of modesty Ellie had been allowed to keep.

“Ah.” Ellie did her best not to feel offended. It didn’t work. “You’re worried I don’t have the parts to top you.”

Effie’s flush managed to deepen even more. She was almost plum-coloured.

“You are hoping I have a penis.” It was difficult to keep her tone neutral. No woman had ever told Ellie that she was lacking anything. Least of all a cock. She’d rather be told she was ugly or bad at eating pussy.

Effie looked away awkwardly.

“I hate to disappoint you, Effie, but I don’t.” She watched Effie’s face intensely, but her girlfriend’s nervous expression didn’t shift. And she kept her eyes laser-focused on the duvet. “At least not one made of flesh.”

Effie’s face snapped up. “What does that mean?”

“It means we have a whole world of options to explore, Berry. Let me tell you exactly what I would do to you if I had the supplies…”