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"If I wander off at a party, look off into the distance like I’m contemplating a life’s worth of questions, please know I am not a mysterious and alluring woman. I am a woman who needs to fart."

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Cullen Nash

Sadly, your need to fart has not made us love you any less. 😍

Jack

New pickup line: "Are you seeking a place to flatulate, m'lady?"

TheFireIron 357

I was once hanging out with my brother and his (then) wife. She, a fairly good looking college gal, walked into the room wearing a tank top and short denim shorts; not flaunting but definitely accentuating her feminine features.The first thing she did, without warning, was to belch as loud as she could. I looked at my brother and said "Doesn't that just make you feel safe?"

Kyle Hues

Just as hot😂👌