Most Eligible Bachelor 5 (Patreon)

“I don’t know what t’do,” Harley concluded. “I’ve tried leaving him, I’ve tried therapy, I’ve tried killing him, I’ve tried killing Batman—I always wind up falling on my face! And it used to be I kept going back t’him because he made me feel good. Now it’s just so’s I don’t feel bad. When I’m around him, I don’t even feel like a woman.”

“C’mon, Harley, no one could mistake you for anything but a woman,” Dick said softly, pulling her to his chest in tight pressure and holding her there. “Give yourself a look in the mirror sometime. You’re not just feminine, you’re downright gorgeous.”

“Ah, there ya go, trying to make my head swell. That’s what everyone says I need, self-confidence. And you’re real good at it too.” Harley lifted her face up to his. “If I’m so pretty, why couldn’t I have hooked up with you ‘steada Mistah J? Bet you wouldn’t never let me feel so down in the dumps. I’d go around all the time feeling like I do now… like…”

Her arms tightened around Dick, holding him as close as he was holding her. She kissed his cheek quickly, with a loud pop as some lipstick dislodged onto his skin.

What happened after that, Dick wasn’t sure of. One moment, Dick was receiving a sisterly kiss from Harley. The next, that sisterly kiss was on his lips instead of his cheek. Her tongue flicked out and tantalized his lips, cajoling them open, soliciting his own tongue to wrap around hers.

And his reaction went well beyond the compassion and sympathy he’d offer someone on the street. He opened his lips and accepted the offering of her tongue. His arms flexed, crushing Harley to him, while her teasing tongue dueled with his own.

Beneath the fabric of his stolen jersey, Dick felt the warmth of Harley’s body. He felt slight tremors in her, a quaking that he was sure didn’t come from the chilly night. It was the same shaking Dick might’ve given into if Bruce hadn’t instilled such control into him.

Harley’s tongue coyly pulled away from the mutual pleasure they’d been creating. Dick followed it back into her mouth, his tongue delving sweetly into the intimacy she’d surrendered to him.

Harley moaned softly, nestling even closer to him, seeming to burrow into his muscular body while he gave her all his oral skills. His tongue flicked and probed the erogenous zones within her mouth.

Dick suddenly felt the steady press of Harley’s pert breasts, their shapely buoyancy pushing through her clothing to his shirtless chest. And crowning each of those warm pillows was a pebble-hard nipple digging into his bare skin.

Harley, in many ways, was a victim. An innocent bystander. And yes, a supervillain. Someone he should be in no way romancing, befriending, much less kissing. But there was no denying the lust gathering between his legs. His testicles bulged, his cock stiffened with that old familiar feeling.

He knew then that if Harley were to allow it, he would enter her in a moment. Whatever taboos there were against it, they couldn’t reach him through the haze of lust he felt for her.

Harley leaned back, parting their bodies, her glassy eyes meeting his through a haze of infatuation. Her expression was unfocused—she seemed to realize she had tasted forbidden fruit. But when Dick made no move to censure her, a small smile danced at the corners of her impish mouth.

“Gee, that wasn’t too bad,” she said softly. “I always thought it’d be real bad if it were anyone but… him. But instead it was—it was kinda nice.”

Dick didn’t reply to her, except to pull her into another kiss, his mouth covering hers. Her passion rose with his. They held onto each other, man and woman, Dick’s hands exploring the delicate flow of Harley’s young face. She held onto his wrists as he caressed her cheeks, traced the fullness of her lips.

Harley stared at him, longing for him, her need for him shining the more he looked on her with approval. They kissed, then kissed again, Harley willingly allowing herself to be lost in how good it felt for him to hold her.

“Make love to me, Dick,” Harley whispered against his lips. “I don’t wanna be his woman anymore… I wanna be yours. All yours…”

“Yes,” Dick said, tenderly caressing the line of her jaw.

Harley turned her face to his touch like a kitten being petted. Then she kissed the heel of his hand and stepped back from his arms. As he stared at her, she pulled off his dirty shirt to stand naked before him.

“I really wanted you to see me this way,” she said, her eyes meeting his, the contact managing to pull his gaze away from her naked body to just her sparkling eyes. “You don’t see me as a bad girl, d’ya? You see me as a woman… am I a good-looking woman or what?”

Dick couldn’t see her as anything else. Her nude body was an exercise in extremes—robust health, but pale pink skin. Long, lanky limbs to go with her compact musculature; she was petite, but with so much legs, such gawky arms… they made her girlish and unabashed, especially with her kewpie-doll face, her puckish mop of hair, her big blue eyes set so expressively within her open features.

Dick felt as protective towards her as he did amorous. It seemed impossible for him to retain any sense of her as a criminal.

“You’re gorgeous,” he said sincerely. “I wanna kiss you so bad…”

And he did, but not by making her crouch down to meet his height. He reached out, grasping her about her round little hips, and pulled her in, his arms wrapped around her thighs. His lips pressed to her labia, kissing her cunt right through the short blonde frizz of her pubic hair.

“Ahhh!” Harley moaned in pure relief, her eyes crossing. Her head swayed from side to side as she abandoned herself to the pleasure of it. “Youse a good kisser, Dick…”

The quivery delights of the kiss coursed through her; even the warm stream of his breath on her pubic thatch made her shudder. Then his tongue wetly flickered against her lips. It tantalizingly played at her vulva, almost entering her, almost caressing her labia, but not really doing either—just being felt, really, just letting her know he was tasting her.

“Wowie!” Harley gasped out, reaching down and caressing Dick’s soft hair, trying to thank him through touch for how he was keeping his face between her legs. His mouth was against her pussy, his tongue so close to entering her. When it kept teasing her, she began to babble. “It feels nice, Dick, it feels real nice, but I want you in me, Dick, I want your tongue fucking me, fuck me with your tongue, Dick, make me come with your tongue, AWWW SHOOT! It feels SO NICE!”

His tongue was a wet snake doing all kinds of things to her, never letting her grow used to the feel of it. He ran the tip of it up and down her vulva, flicking lightly at the hood of her clitoris, cajoling the button itself out from hiding.

Soon, Dick had every inch of Harley’s exposed flesh quivering with fevered anticipation. Then he licked lower, washing his tongue over the trembling opening to her sex. Harley heard his lips smack and the sound of him swallowing while he sucked away at the flood of her aroused juices. Then his tongue pushed inside of her—her hands tightened on his hair, muscles clenching as she held him tight to her aching core.

In and out his tongue feathered at her snatch. Harley’s knees quivered… all of her shook… she felt as liquid as the juices flowing out of her to meet Dick’s lashing tongue. “Lickitlickitlickitlickit! MMMM! Imma gonna come for you so hard! Gonna—UNNHH!—gives ya so much of my juicy cum!”

She couldn’t stand any longer. With a gleeful cry, she felt right into Dick’s catching arms. He lowered her to the ground with him, his mouth on hers now, kissing her with his tongue still tasting of her snatch.

Lovingly, Dick cupped one of her soft little breasts, the delicate flesh almost filling his hand, giving his fingers plenty of room to squeeze and caress the decadently abundant mound. She wasn’t as endowed as Ivy was, let alone some of the truly voluptuous conquests he’d made over the years, but Dick was truly satisfied to play with those small, tempting mounds.

Despite the night chill, her skin was excitingly warm, soft and silky in his hand. He traced his fingers from one fleshy hill to the other, working his way from their heft to the engorged nipples cresting each breast.

Harley’s eyes were by now so dilated that she looked like she’d been drugged. She thrust her head back, gently bonking the metal grating of the fire escape, sending an undulating ring through the structure.

Dick grinned at the noise and, at his smile, Harley cackled wildly. She seemed all but high, happiness stretching from ear to ear, giggling over every little burst of pleasure she felt.

“Shoulda done this years ago,” she muttered. “When ya need a good fuck, why not go to a guy named Dick?”

At last, his deft fingertips brushed across her stiffened nipples. A tremor of pure sexual ecstasy rushed through Harley like a flame consuming a matchhead. Teasingly, Dick tweaked the aroused tips of her breasts, delighting in how needfully Harley moaned with the pleasure writhing through her body. Then he crushed his hand down onto one of her jubilant breasts, covering it and squeezing hard.

Harley’s body felt good, damn good—it pleased him just to touch her, to have her in his arms. She was so alive, so ready and needing and willing. She felt like Ivy in her slavish devotion to him, but his own desire for her was just as strong. Dick knew they would both be ecstatic when he finally claimed her.

He teased and massaged and felt her breasts to his heart’s content, relishing that her delectable body was finally his to toy with. Then he sucked on her tits, his tongue and lips delighting every inch of her succulent cleavage.

Her body was so feverishly hungry to be touched-felt-loved that he found it unbelievable that she’d never stepped out on the Joker before. But all Harley’s pent-up passion now belonged to him. He was going to see to it that every last bit of it was released.

His fingers crept down her body, sampling the tightness of her well-muscled abdomen, then moving into the softness of her pubic hair. He petted her pelt a moment, delighting in the silken feel of her thatch, even more enjoying how her anticipation mounted like a junkie craving a fix.

Harley was practically hyperventilating, her pupils blown wide, drool running down her chin. She was so ready to feel him in her pussy, even if it was just a finger. But Dick delayed touching her there. The longer he teased her, he knew, the better it would be when she actually felt him at her cunt.

Dick wanted to make her come with only his finger.

Cupping her groin, he ground his palm down into her pubis—pushing his hand against her mound just as he’d kneaded her plump breasts a few moments ago. Every feel he got of Harley was hot and willing and unable to wait. Her juices spilled out into his hand, their lubricating wetness already filling her interior. But he kept teasing her along, making her need it more and more.

“Oh guy! Screw you! You’re such a—boy!” Harley gasped out. “Little shit… uunh! Mistah J never made it like this fuh me—I wanted it bad enough without him—nhhhhh—you gotta fuck me, Dickie! I can’t take it! Can’t feel right like this! Need a cock inside me! Need to feel right!”

“I’ll make you feel right,” Dick said under his breath, and shoved his middle finger up into Harley’s sex.