Reborn as the First Boss, Chapter 1 (Patreon)

Chapter 1 – Settings?

“Oh, my head.”

I groaned as I pulled myself up. How much did I have to drink last night? It felt like a marching band was performing inside my skull. If T-Bone slipped me some ex again as a joke, just to get me on camera like he did at the last party, I was going to have to kill him.

Wait. T-Bone. He got hit, right? The Barbarians ambushed us, but we fought them off. Gave better than we got, too. T-Bone was hit, and then Horse was next to her, looking like…

I opened my eyes. This… was not my room. Or the hospital. Or any hotel I knew of within a hundred miles of Peekskill. Those hotels didn’t have stone walls, and they didn’t use candles and torches for lighting.

“Where the hell am I?” I spoke, but the words didn’t sound like me. Even groggy from what must have been too much booze to chase away a wild night, I knew that voice wasn’t mine. My voice didn’t sound like pure sex just talking.

I lifted a hand to try and slap some sense into myself, and stopped. Red skin? And what was with those fingernails? No way you could ride a bike with those pointy nails that looked almost like claws. You’d be breaking nails or worse all the time, and no way could you get gloves for those things. And RED SKIN???

I quickly looked around the room. Big bed, like Queen size, minimum, with sheets that felt like silk, and the high end stuff, too. Some art on the wall, fancy frames. Couple statues, looked like marble. Weapon rack. Wardrobe. Vanity table. Mirror! A full length mirror! Perfect!

Getting up, out of bed, I made my way over to the mirror, and gaped. This wasn’t my body. Sure, I kept in shape, and I was curvy in the hourglass way, not the Goodyear blimp way that people had turned the term into. But still, I didn’t look like THIS!

Red skin was only the start. Ignoring the fact that I was bare ass naked, I had abs! Like, actual, defined abs. And my tits were still a D cup, maybe more! I’d been fit, but never six-pack abs fit! And I used to be a healthy C!

I definitely had an hourglass figure, now, with hips that Playboy playmates would kill for. My hair was long, and wavy, with a reddish-black hue. My face… well, it mostly looked the same, except I was missing the scar over my right eye from that one fight in Albany. Oh, and my eyes were a glowing red.

And yeah, I definitely wasn’t human anymore. Either that, or someone had put me in for mods I didn’t even know existed. Horns curling back out of my head like a ram, batlike wings that I could actually move, and a long, sinuous tail sticking out just above my nice, round ass, and hoof feet like I was some kind of demon. A sexy demon! Fuck, I wasn’t even a dyke, and I would fuck the hell out of me!

No, I couldn’t go down that line of thought right now. Tearing my gaze away from the mirror, I moved to the wardrobe. Opening it, I saw all sorts of dresses, gowns, and robes. But one, in particular, stuck out at me.

DING!

Mhyrsha’s   Magnificent Robes

Type

Armor

Rank

Uncommon

The   personal robes of Mhyrsha the Enchantress. In addition to their ability to   shift with her as she changes shapes, the robes provide more protection from   weapons and magic than you might expect. They have also been enchanted to aid   in seduction, and to increase the effectiveness of Enchantment and Illusion   effects.

+20   Defense

+20   CHA

Seductress   – Seduction   skill is 20% more effective.

Beguiler   – Illusion and   Enchantment spells or abilities cast by the wearer are 20% more effective.

Soulbound   – Soulbound to   Mhyrsha. Cannot be lost or stolen. Cannot be worn by anyone else while she   lives.

NoDrop   – This item   does not drop when the wearer is killed.

Unmarred   – This item   cleans and repairs itself over time by using ambient mana. Cannot be   destroyed.

The moment I touched the robe, a blue box appeared in the air in front of me with a chiming sound. I felt my jaw drop. This… this was something out of a game! Not real life! Hell, I was only a casual gamer, since everyone needed a hobby, but even I knew that there were no VR games that were anywhere near like this. I definitely didn’t have the kind of rig that those would play on, either, even if they did.

Wait, there were stupid stories about shit like this, right? Where people died in real life, and then woke up in some world that worked like a game? Was I in some fucking, two-bit novel for nerds and weirdos? GODDAMNIT!

No, relax. I couldn’t think about that right now. I needed to figure out what was going on, so I knew just how much trouble I was in. If this was some kind of game world, then would I be able to access a menu, or stat screen?

“Status.” Nothing. “Menu.” Nope. “Character.” Uh-uh. Nothing worked. Hell, I hadn’t even found a way to close that stupid blue screen from the robe! I tried waving at it, and… it went away? Like swiping something on a touch screen? Huh, I could work with that. I tried swiping again with my hand, and another screen appeared.

DING!

Main   Menu

Section

Description

Status

Display   current character status.

Skills

Display   current skills.

Spells

Display   known spells.

Equipment

Display   current Equipment. Equip Items.

Inventory

Display   inventory.

Settings

Change   default settings.

I was decidedly too sober for this shit, but fuck it. I wasn’t going to get out of this any quicker by ignoring reality. Might as well try and make the best of it. Hesitantly, I touched the Settings part of the screen.

DING!

Settings

Visual

Change   visual settings.

Commands

Set up   voice commands, gesture commands.

Audio

Change   audio settings.

DING!

Audio

Volume   Control

Adjust   notification sound volume.

Notification   Sound

Change   sound for audible notifications.

Menu   Sound

Toggle   Menu sound Off.

Level   Up Sound

Toggle   Level Up sound Off.

Skill   Acquisition Sound

Toggle   Skill Acquisition sound Off.

Item   Acquisition Sound

Toggle   Item Acquisition sound Off.

The dinging was getting annoying, so I quickly went to the Audio settings, and turned off all the sounds except for Level Ups. If this was a game, I would like to know when I leveled up, at least. That settled, I looked in on the other Setting menus.

Commands was straightforward, for the most part, but I decided not to mess with them too much, beyond turning on voice commands. That could be something I did once I was more comfortable with this system. Next, I looked at the visual settings. Kept a bunch of that the same, but moved the boxes so that they didn’t pop up directly in the middle of my view, unless I called for them. If this was a game, that meant there’d be fighting, and no way was I going to get myself killed because a popup blinded me.

Status

Name:

Mhyrsha

Race

Succubus

Class:

Mind   Sorceress

Profession:

Courtesan

Level:

1

XP:

0 / 1000

HP:

1500 /   1500

HP   Regen:

20 per   hour

MP:

3500 /   3500

MP   Regen:

30 per   min

SP:

1000 /   1000

SP   Regen:

10 per   min

Titles:

The   First Boss, Enchantress, Illusionist, Seductress, Virgin’s Bane

Attributes

STR

10

INT

15

DEX

10

WIS

20

CON

15

CHA

30

Luck

10

Defense

40

Gain   +5 CHA, +2 WIS, +1 INT, +1 CON per level

0   Attribute Points remaining

Gain 3   Attribute Points per level

Currency

0 CP

0 SP

0 GP

0 PP

Boons

Please   Select Boons. You have 1 Least, 1 Lesser, and 1 Greater Boon slots unfilled.

Abilities

Racial   Abilities:

+10   CHA, +5 INT, +5 CON

Gain   +3 CHA, +1 INT, +1 CON, +1 Attribute points per level

Gain   Seduction, Diplomacy, and Intimidation as racial skills

All   Charisma-based skills 25% more effective.

Immunities   – Immune to Corruption, Fire, Poison, and Disease

Vulnerability   – Vulnerable to Holy

Hellfire   – Can summon and manipulate hellfire

Wings   – Able to fly with batlike wings. Must be able to extend wings to fly. Cannot   carry more than a light load and maintain flight.

Sensual   Recharge – Engaging in acts of passion with males can increase SP, MP and HP   regeneration. More involved acts may transfer SP, MP and HP from your partner   to you. Acts with females provide no benefit to you.

Shapeshifting   – Able to shapeshift into any humanoid form. Attributes do not change in new   form, though may gain physical qualities of the new form (lizardfolk’s scaly   hide providing armor, etc.)

Class   Abilities:

+10   CHA

Gain   +2 CHA per level

Beguiler   – Enchantment and Illusion spells are 50% more effective against helpless,   unaware, or friendly targets.

Mental   Fortitude – Immune to Enchantment and Illusion spells and effects from   creatures at or below her level. Resistance to Enchantment and Illusion   spells increases by 15%.

Minor   Telepathy – Can communicate telepathically with creatures within line of   sight. Communication only.

Profession   Abilities:

+10   WIS

Gain   +2 WIS per level

Understanding   – Add WIS to INT when calculating MP.

Socialite   – Social skills are 50% more effective.

Too   Pretty to Hit – Add CHA to Defense

Center   of Attention – Cannot use Stealth unless invisible. Creatures may need to   force themselves to look away from you. May cause unwanted attention.

Skills

Racial   Skills:

Class   Skills:

Profession   Skills:

General   Skills:

4   Skill Points Remaining

That was… a lot. Like, a lot, a lot. So, Mhyrsha was my name, and I was a succubus? A literal sex demon, then. Probably why my profession was a fancy word for whore. Wonderful, guess I was going to slut my way to the top. But why did that sound familiar? Ugh, I’d figure it out eventually. What did these titles do?

The   First Boss

The   first obstacle in the Hero’s journey. All stats increased by 300% while in   boss room.

Enchantress

All   Enchantment spells and abilities are 20% more effective and cost 10% less to   use.

Illusionist

All   Illusion spells and abilities are 20% more effective and cost 10% less to   use.

Seductress

Creatures   who are attracted to her suffer a 15% penalty to resist her CHA-based skills   and abilities.

Virgin’s   Bane

Virgins   automatically fail checks against her skills and abilities. Spells and   attacks against virgins ignore Defense, and are critical hits.

What in the ever-loving fuck? This wasn’t just some normal game. That looked like a setup straight out of some kind of porn game. Wait. First boss? You mean, the schmuck that gets steamrolled by the hero immediately, and is then forgotten about? Oh, hell no. We weren’t going to be playing that game.

Something fell into place. Wait, I’d played this game before. One didn’t really think of gamers when one thought about 1% bike clubs, but people were people, and all kinds liked to ride, and liked the lifestyle. Crash was a gamer. Not one of the hardcore types, but whenever he was home he’d spend a couple hours a day on the computer, playing games. Also knew his way around computers in a more criminal way, as well, which came in handy.

That wasn’t important to my current situation, though, beyond the fact that I remember him talking about this new game he was playing. Heartlight Chronicles, I think it was. Anyways, it was decidedly not for kids, because one of the opening quests required the hero to get laid, so that they could resist the spells and snares of the evil Succubus Mhyrsha, and rescue the poor souls she’d captured for whatever reason. And there was something about a power source, that led into the rest of the game? I hadn’t really been paying attention, unfortunately.

Still, that was better than where I was before. I knew what was happening now, and I had a plan. Step 1: Loot this place of anything that looks valuable or important. Step 2: Get the fuck out of here. Step 3: Don’t die. Step 4: Profit?

It was a start, at least.