System Supervillain, Chapter 49 (Patreon)

Chapter 49 – Oops

There are certain jobs that are essential to the proper functioning of the whole dynamic between superheroes and supervillains. Jobs that you don’t think about, as a general rule, but, without someone doing those jobs, the whole system falls apart. Sure, some teams have dedicated staff for these jobs, but there aren’t enough of those people to be on call for every super out there individually.

The three jobs that first came to people’s minds when talking about the essential support staff were, of course, costume makers, gadget and vehicle mechanics, and doctors. A costume is the first thing that separates a street-level player from a real super, no matter which side of the law they’re on. Gadgets and vehicles are essential for increasing one’s abilities or just getting around faster than you can run. And when you get involved in fights, inevitably you’re going to get hurt, which means that, for anything beyond first aid, you’re going to have to find a doctor.

Of course, supers, being concerned with things like not having their identities be publicly known, can’t just go to your local tailor, or the body shop, or the hospital. And most places wouldn’t even be set up to take care of their specific needs, anyways. That meant specialized support staff, that could be found with some level of discretion.

And so were born the five sections of the Guild. The Tailors were a group of fashion designers, tailors, and even material engineers that banded together to create costumes for heroes and villains alike. While not every super had a costume from the Tailors, it was a sign that you were more than just some fly-by-night punk when you had a Tailor-made suit. They even included basic gadgets, like integrated commlinks and sensor suites.

More advanced gadgets and personal vehicles could be obtained from the Mechanics. Any super who had a ‘utility belt’, or a bunch of gadgets that didn’t quite fit their normal abilities? Anyone with a hovercycle or tricked out car? They got them from the Mechanics. They even offered ‘lair services’, where you could buy upgrades for your lair, or even get a whole new lair built to specs.

The Enchanters handled magic shenanigans. If you wanted a piece of magical gear made, or needed something you found appraised? They were the ones you went to, if you didn’t have someone on hand, yourself. Needed a curse removed? They could help. Wanted a ward on your lair? They could do the job.

Next, there were the Physicians. A mixture of magical, medical, and super-science healers, it was said that, so long as you weren’t 100% dead by the time you got to them, you’d live to see another day. There were even some reports of them being able to raise the dead, or at least transfer consciousness into a new body. Don’t know how much stock I put in those reports, though.

The final pillar of the Guild was the most mysterious, and the most dangerous. They were the Archivists, the ones who collected all the information from the other branches of the Guild world-wide, and collated them so that a customer could use any Guild service, anywhere in the world. Oh, sure, it didn’t sound all that scary to hear that they were basically the guild’s customer database and billing department. But when one considered the information that they had access to? They were undoubtedly one of the most dangerous groups in the entire world.

Fortunately, the Guild was firmly, resolutely, VICIOUSLY neutral. Anyone who tried to push them on that quickly discovered that was a bad move. After all, the Guild services were very expensive, as was only natural considering how specialized they were, so they often offered discounts to heroes and villains alike in return for markers that would be called in whenever someone tried to threaten the Guild, hack the Guild, or try and get out of paying the Guild their due. Even world-class hackers like the White Hat and Web Mistress didn’t dare try and hack the Archivists’ databases!

Normally, I only had dealings with the Tailors, since most of the gadgets and artifacts I used were stolen, rather than purchased or custom made. My lair was already built and functional. The lair’s Healing Bay was enough to help me recover from any wounds I got, and I never got sick enough to warrant hospital care. So, the Mechanics, Enchanters, and Physicians were not people I regularly went to see. And, obviously, I wasn’t going to try and hack the Guild, so I had no reason to trouble the Archivists.

However, today I was at an underground hospital run by the Physicians in Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada. It was one of seven in the entire world, with the others being located in Asunción, Paraguay, London, England, Lagos, Nigeria, Surat, India, Shanghai, China, and Perth, Australia. Not exactly convenient locations for most of the world’s supers, sure, but each hospital was easily reached through teleportation. If a super couldn’t teleport, themselves, there were hard-wired devices at every Guild facility on the planet, and you would be hard-pressed to find even a minor city without a Tailor, Mechanic, or Enchanter somewhere nearby. Only the Archivists knew where their archives were held, so I could only assume they had the same setup.

Naturally, the neutrality and anonymity the Guild offered all their clientele was strictly enforced at the Guild Hospitals. Actually, it was even more strictly enforced than other places. Any direct action against one of the hospitals would result in a kill order being put on you, offering to completely clear the debts of whoever brought the Guild your head. Obviously, fighting a patient or visitors was a major offense, as well, but it didn’t result in an automatic kill order, so long as there was no permanent damage done.

As for why I was here? Well, that went back to a few nights ago, when I got a couple choked and nervous phone calls. It had been about two and a half months since I’d taken my ‘world tour’. My little Red Tokyo Ranger had called to let me know that both her and the Blue Ranger’s mother were having morning sickness, while the rest of the team was ‘late’, following my return visit to enjoy my pets a bit more. A little while later, I got a call from Korea where Bulkkoch informed me that she and Huinnalge were having symptoms, too. And that was about the time that my Bloodmoon and Tammy, the maid, informed me that she was also late on her monthly visitor.

I might have been a bit careless, the last couple months.

Ah well, fortunately I had plenty of money, and ways to get more if I needed it. So, I rounded everyone up, and we teleported to the Guild Hospital in Halifax. Clearly, they were going to need some checkups and prenatal work done, and I at least wanted to be someplace where I knew the language without needing to rely on a translator.

Still, it was quite the collection of people to show up all at once. Especially since Web Mistress and Electra joined us as well. Even so, the Physicians were professionals, and they dealt with supers as their clientele. I’m sure that this wasn’t even in the top ten of the strangest things they’d seen, lately.

“Reason for visit?”

“Ah, yes. My women are going to need pregnancy tests and a start on prenatal care.”

“All of them?”

“Yes, just to be safe.”

“Well, you have been busy. I’ll order a round of STI testing for everyone, as well.”

“Please and thank you.” As I turned away from the nurse at the intake desk, I tried my best to keep my face blank. That was something else I had been careless about. Hopefully nothing came up, but it was probably good luck that I hadn’t had anything happen so far. After all, I hadn’t exactly been living a chaste lifestyle before the System, and I sure wasn’t doing so, now!

“Jack Frost?”

A voice I vaguely remembered called out to me from across the waiting room. Turning, I saw a face that definitely rang a few bells. It was Starsinger, the mage I’d shared a flight (and a night) with just after the System came online!

“Ah, Clarissa Jones, wasn’t it? But we didn’t share other names, last time.”

She nodded, and I took a moment to look her over. She was dressed in plain clothes, with sensible pumps on her feet, and an ensemble of yoga pants and a t-shirt. The whole thing spoke of someone who was just trying to be comfortable. It also highlighted the beginnings of a bump on her stomach.

“Yes. Things got a bit too heated, and I don’t think either of us thought about that kind of thing. I will admit that I am surprised to see you again, though I guess that, looking at the situation, I’m surprised that the group is only this big.

“Master, who is this?” Min-yuè was at my side, looking at Clarissa, curiously.

“Master? Oh, my. So that is how far you’ve fallen, under that demon’s influence. But wait, I know your face, girl. Zhu Cui, wasn’t it? The magical community was saddened at what happened to you, as I recall.”

“Not sad enough to aid me in getting justice, however. Fortunately, my Master came to my aid. And Zhu Cui is dead, as is Moonchild. I am Min-yuè, now, and Bloodmoon.”

Clarissa nodded slowly. “I understand. I know the injustice done to you was great, and that the target of your vengeance deserved what came to him. As a woman and a mage, my only wish is that you did not involve so many innocent bystanders. What has been done is done. The Primordials will not seek you unless there is some new threat you pose.”

“I thank you.”

Clarissa nodded once more, and turned to look at me. “As for how I know your Master, we met on a flight from New York to Atlanta, not long after the System came online. I’ll admit that the hour and other things clouded my memories of that night, but I do remember having a bit of an indiscretion. My husband doesn’t know, yet, but that indiscretion had an unfortunate consequence. The test came back, showing that he was not the father.”

“Woof,” I said, shaking my head. “I don’t know if I’ve been profoundly lucky, or profoundly unlucky. Clearly, one of the two.”

“I know I was hoping to have a child with my husband, so that is why I was not using anything. But the rest of these women? Did you make them not use birth control?”

“No, I did not tell them not to use it, but I didn’t tell them to start, either. They all have their own circumstances, of course. For some of them, their previous partners used condoms, or they were in a same-sex relationship, or they weren’t in a relationship at all before then, so didn’t think about it. Normal situations. The last few months just condensed things down a bit, due to everything going on. Some things were forgotten about until it was rather too late to do anything.”

“And do they all know about the dark spirit or demon you use to enhance your charisma? I assume that is what you did on the plane where we met?”

“Oh, very good. I didn’t know whether you would have remembered that much, given how hot and heavy things were that night. But yes, they all know about that.”

“Hmph. So, it isn’t a possession, then. You’re clearly not acting like someone possessed, and with this many people who are clearly supers around, they would have noticed by now if you were, even if any of them weren’t magically inclined. A contract, then? Or something else?”

“You do know I’m under no obligation to say anything about such things, especially here, on neutral ground, right?”

“Damnit, Iceblade! And yes, I figured out that you were Iceblade, the moment I recognized the former Moonchild from her pictures. And those spirit flames over there have to be Blaze’s work. And I’ve worked with Electra before. The only person they all have in common is Iceblade, so that much is obvious.

“But that isn’t the point! I need to know what we’re dealing with, to know if there’s any danger to the kids! Do you even know what kind of nastiness a demon can slip into a contract, if they were bound against their will? Or even with their will? There are curses that can be laid upon conception, damning the child to a terrible fate, if precautions aren’t taken!”