Lewd Dungeon, Chapter 41 (Patreon)

Chapter 41 – Enchantment!

(Goblin Town)

“Are you… quite sure about this, Donnager?”

The goblin boss looked sheepishly back at me, but nodded. “Yes, Master. He might not look like much, and he’s a tad simple, but he’s got a knack for Enchanting. I think he used to be a human, but wild magic when the dungeon broke, you know how it is. Addles the mind sometimes.”

The ‘person’ we were talking about was one of the goblins that had been captured in the ‘great culling’ as some of the goblins were calling it. I found it hilarious, especially since their attitudes imprinted on the dungeon-spawned goblins, who treated it as a cataclysmic event, like Noah and the flood. And I was the one who gave them an ark.

Anyways, the goblin we were talking about was most definitely simple-looking, both in the fact that his features were not nearly as ugly as some of the other goblins, and because he had a perpetually glassy-eyed expression that rarely showed any hint of there being actual thoughts in that head of his. But somehow he was a Named Monster.

Flipflop

Goblin Male

Level 10 ??? / Enchanter

Titles: ???, Genius Enchanter, Slave,   Dungeon Bound

Fair Market Price: ???

Oh, and there were those question marks on his status when I checked him were annoying as all hell. Considering that I owned him, quite literally, there shouldn’t be any parts of his status that were hidden from me. But clearly, someone had hidden parts of his status, and I had no clue who, what, or why.

“Enchantment?”

And when we were calling the goblin ‘simple’, we meant that in more ways than one. Something had clearly gone wrong when this goblin was being put together, because while it was clear that he had at least enough brains to function, he was clearly mentally challenged somehow, and I was no doctor. Very annoying.

Still, the system said that he was some kind of genius enchanter, so I was hoping to see what he could do, and give me any ideas he could on enchantments of my own. Unfortunately, those ‘insights’ would have to come from watching him work and dissecting his methods from observation, because he couldn’t carry on a conversation worth a damn. Didn’t seem to be able to say anything other than ‘enchantment’.

“Fine. Fine then. I’ll set up a workspace for him, where the adventurers can’t get in, unless they’re really up to no good. Give me a second.” I turned my attention from Donnager and Flipflop to begin building a special room in Goblin Town. I connected it to the Forge and Workshop, in such a way that it would always connect the two rooms, despite the random nature of the dungeon floor. Then, to make sure my addle-brained enchanter wasn’t disturbed when doing things that could probably cause a huge explosion if it wasn’t handled properly, I made the tunnels absolutely lousy with traps, both magical and mechanical, of a very lethal nature, and had them keyed to attack everyone that wasn’t part of the dungeon. A couple of them even would deal with spirits or other incorporeal types.

Yes, that was leagues above anything I’d put in the rest of the dungeon, but I wasn’t trying to slaughter everyone who came in the dungeon. If I did that, then no one would come, unless they were so massively overpowered that I would have no chance of beating them. So I didn’t exactly pull my punches, but I purposefully didn’t make things as lethal as they could be. But if they poked their heads in restricted areas, well, that just sucked to be them, didn’t it?

That done, I used my control of the dungeon to warp the three of us to the new Enchanter’s Workshop. I purchased the layout (and tools) from the dungeon store, so I knew that they would work for a wide range of enchantments. How wide? No clue. Flipflop, however, seemed entranced by all the tools, because he called out, excitedly, “Enchantment!”

I groaned, and looked to Donnager. “You recommended him, so find someone to work with him, and get lists of what materials he needs for his enchantments. The adventurers will gladly rush to their doom if there’s a chance of enchanted weapons and armor, after all.”

Donnager sighed. “As you wish, Master.” The asshole was trying to pawn off the simpleton on me! On the one hand, I was naturally pissed that the little goblin would try and do something like that to me. On the other hand, I was pretty impressed that shi had the balls to try it, knowing that I owned hir, body and soul, and could easily cause hir life to be a living hell. I was leaning more towards impressed, for the sheer audacity of it all.

Fortunately, I had a suitable ‘reward’ I could give out, now that I had successfully summoned actual demons to the dungeon. “By the way, Donnager, there is something I need your help with. Assign one of your people to watch over Flipflop, and then come with me.”

The goblin shaman froze for a moment, and then reluctantly nodded, “Yes, Master.” Good to see that shi at least had some idea of when punishment was incoming. Even better, it was clear that Donnager knew that dragging things out was NOT the way to get a reduction in sentence, as shi quickly had a goblin crafter in the Enchantment Workshop to watch Flipflop and help him with anything he needed.

With all the solemnity of one going to their execution, shi came to attention in front of me, and said, “Ready, Master. What would you have of me?”

I laughed as I grabbed hold of hir shoulder, and said, “Oh, no, I won’t be the one having you!” And then I warped us to another part of the dungeon, one that no goblin had seen before.

Until I’d gained my first demons, there had been two primary Breeding Rooms (one for the plants and slimes, and the other for the goblins), but now that I had demons, I’d made a third Breeding Room. Since it had only been created and populated the other day, it was still unused. Virginal, you might say.

Time to pop its cherry.

I whistled (completely unnecessary, since I controlled everyone in this space, but a bit of theater was fun when properly rewarding and punishing someone simultaneously), and four imps flew up. Four imps, only one of whom was female. The three males were impressive for their size, and Donnager was clearly very much not liking what was going down. 

Looking at the quartet of imps, I said, simply, “It is time to properly break in this new breeding room, and Donnager has been so very kind as to volunteer hir services in every possible way to the four of you, so I want you all to go at it until you are quite certain that shi has been properly seeded, and that shi has properly seeded your female companion. I know it will be a long, hard assignment, but I have no doubt that the four of you will be up for it, and will go deep to get to the bottom of any problems that might cum into play, yes?”

Donnager looked up at me, and said, with heartfelt emotion, “You know, I believe I hate you, Master.” Unfortunately, I did not get to respond to that wonderful confession, because shi was immediately pounced upon by all four imps, and any further conversation would have bee entirely one-sided once the first eager demon forced his cock down the goblin’s throat. It was a touching scene, and just the start of what would no doubt be a wonderful memory for the leader of the goblins, to be filed under the category of ‘don’t poke the dragon’.

As I turned to leave the Breeding Room, I tried to contain my laughter, failed, but managed to bring it together and say, “Have fun, y’all!” 

(Blind Hog Tavern, Swamptown)

Lea sighed as she looked at her glass of purified water. Sure, she wasn’t old enough to drink, anyways, but even if she was, she couldn’t, not now, and not for the next few years. That bastard’s contract was still in effect, even if she had been reinstated as a Paladin. At least she could make sure the water wasn’t toxic, which was something.

Zak and Taylor didn’t say anything. They didn’t need to. They both knew Lea needed some time to decompress, and she was just happy having them around. And, frankly, the next couple years were not going to be fun for them, either. Nathan, on the other hand, was not with them. He’d said that he wanted to check on something.

There was a clamor at the door, as Nathan opened it suddenly. Ignoring the disgruntled bard he almost hit with the door, he scanned the crowd, and spotted Lea’s wave, making his way over to them. Whatever he’d gone to check on had evidently been pretty important, given the urgency with which he was moving.

Without preamble, Nathan sat down at the table across from Lea, and said, “Lea, you regained all your paladin abilities, right? Including the undead smiting ones?”

Lea blinked, and said, “Yes, but why? The closest undead are up closer to Naples.” In truth, she was confused why Nathan would be bringing this up now, but really anything was better than just sitting around in the temple waiting on people to come get healed.

Nathan sighed. “Apparently, one bout of stupidity wasn’t enough for the people up there. Someone set off a Monster Lure inside the fort. The undead are being drawn there en masse. If they aren’t stopped, they’ll apparently create an Undead Dungeon there in five days.”

Taylor cursed. “Damn, that sucks. But what does that have to do with us? We don’t have a car to drive up there, and riding will take too long. The roads aren’t safe, at the best of times. And we’ll have to fight through the wrong side of the undead just to get to them.”

Lea considered that. “If we had boats, we could perhaps get there in time. I looked on the map when I heard about the undead outbreak up there, and it is about thirty-five miles from here to Chokoloskee by boat. I can summon Brighteyes anywhere since I’m a paladin, and if you guys got Capture Balls for your horses, then we’d be able to take an airboat or jon boat up there, no problem.”

Nathan nodded. “Yep, now we just need to find someone who will be willing to let us borrow his boat so we can take it into the teeth of unspeakable danger. I’m sure that won’t be a problem.”

Zak took that moment to clear his throat. “Well, I was working with the lightning mage from the Crimson Valkyries on a side project. We took an old barge that someone left here after they’d brought in all the supplies to build Swamptown, and converted it to have a magical motor. It won’t be the fastest thing on record, but if we take turns powering it, then we could be there in about five hours?”

Lea nodded. “All right, that sounds like a plan. Zak, if you’ll go and talk with the Valkyries, and see if they want to come with? I think they might be happy for a break from the dungeon as well, and I know we could use a break. Doing something righteous instead of sitting around here would be a good idea.”

Zak nodded, and got up to head over to the Crimson Valkyries’ table. The look on some of the adventurers’ faces was laughably predictable, as far as Lea was concerned. A gnoll male walking over to talk to the #1 most lusted after team in town? But then the Valkyries got up, and followed the gnoll back to their table.

Shannon didn’t let things get awkward, and said, “So, you want to take Zak and Mari’s ‘science project’ up the coast to help the people up in Fort Chokoloskee? Mari says it is fine with her, but we’re coming with you. Nine fighters is a better addition than four, no?”

Lea rose to her feet, and took the priestess’s hand. “Glad to have you, Valkyries. Let’s go show the Undead that they have no place in this world.”