Faith, Draft 1, 1 5, outline, CH 10 (Patreon)

Faith in the Family, Commentary, CH 10

Here an argument between Thomas and one of his frat brothers gets resolved on the shooting range at another brother’s insistence, and somehow, Thomas’s ass ends up being on the line.

The big change on this chapter between mine and Ben’s version is the ending.

One of the decisions that was made, I don’t remember if I made and Ben agreed or the reverse, was that while Thomas had self esteem issues, having sex makes him more ‘assertive’. Taking that I ended the chapter with Thomas going after Felix and taking his revenge for how the otter treated him.

Ben basically undid the revenge and made it a fun sexual escapade on the drive back. And ben was right to do it.

I hadn’t realized that I had Thomas behaving as if all the elitist attitude Felix dumps on him had already happened, when this was basically the first time it happened. If Ben had allowed it to remain the end result would have been Thomas coming across as the asshole in that situation.

So that’s it on the comments, I hope you enjoy the file.

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