Signing off for a few days! (scheduled posts in the meantime) (Patreon)

Hey everyone!

QUICK NOTICE (I hope it's actually going to be quick this time), my physical therapy is going well, but this weekend has been HORRIBLY INTENSE.
Long story short, the goal of my current therapy is to release stress and anxiety that has been stored in the cells of my body for the past couple of years, causing backpain, headaches and stiffness in shoulders, arms and neck.  And now, as we want to get rid of this memorized stress, so I can move and walk more freely without pain, I am in a VERY INTENSE healing phase that definitely feels like it had its peak last week. As the stress comes up and basically gets triggerd and relived again in the process, I have been in incredible pain and my stress-level is at an all-time high.

So basically I need to take a couple of days off unfortunately. And what makes this so HARD is my own mind to be honest. I don't want to feel this weak and fragile and given how long I was sick just a month ago, I don't want to come across as this...fragile flower that so often seems to get swepped away by the wind again.

My mind keeps screaming at me that I HAVE to FUNCTION, that I HAVE to provide new content and keep the Patreon active as much as I can and I feel guilty whenever I try to lay down and do nothing. But I HAVE to lay down. And I know how incredibly understanding all of you have been so far, especially those of you, who have stayed with me the longest and been watching and supporting me for years now. I don't want to be so vulnerable and weak so often. Even though I'm getting told I'm not weak, you still can't help yourself from feeling so when the rest of the world seems to function so much better than you do. But I know that even THAT isn't true. So many people I know have become sick or burned out from stress and the weight of the world right now.

But I have to accept and AKNOWLEDGE that I am in a very crucial healing phase now and I WILL get better. As long as I ALLOW myself to heal. I mean I finally found someone who is ACTUALLY REALLY HELPING ME with a therapy that makes me feel and see instant improvements with every new appointment! The steps I am taking are HUGE and technically I KNOW I am on the right path right now!
And I have to accept that what I'm feeling NOW is part of the process and there will come a day where I will feel strong and energised again and I hope it will be soon. But for now, resting is all that matters.

Just to shut up my mind, I have actually scheduled two posts to go live on Tuesday and Thursday. So you will still get some content this week while I'll be signing off and hopefully manage to allow myself to relax and take the time my body needs to recover.
My shoulder is still in pain, so tomorrow I'll try to get an emergency appointment from an orthopedist, who has their office just down the road from us and has been higly recommended to me and my mom by a friend. 

I'll keep you guys updated on how I'm doing. For those who are on my Discord server, you'll probably still see me active on there this week, since I like checking in and chatting with you guys. 

I know I probably didn't have to share all of this, but it makes me feel better to be open with you guys on how I'm doing and what will be done to improve my condition. I don't like keeping secrets, it just adds on to the stress.

Thank you all so much for reading and a MASSIVE thank you to all of you for your immense support and for your kind words. I'll take good care of myself now, I promise.

Best wishes and hopefully see you all soon!
~Eleanor 💖