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772 - Tales From the Yelp feat. Bryan Quinby (10/12/23) (Patreon)

Published:
2023-10-13 03:37:17
Edited:
2023-10-13 17:10:39
Imported:

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Content

Podfather Bryan Quinby returns to the show for some spoofs and goofs. We catch up with various radio personalities and explore some D.C. gossip, then Bryan takes us on a tour of some of his favorite types of guy he’s encountered so far while making his new show GUYS.

Find Guys wherever you get podcasts and get all of Bryan’s premium content including Guys+ here: https://www.patreon.com/MurderXBryan

Files

Comments

sir peepus

death to israel :))))))

ploob

MURDER BRYAN

NewTooshFatoosh

My weekly trip outta the suck to listen to the boyys. ✌️

Will Thompson

Oh hell yeah it’s a guys night dicks out

ffffffff

i hope all the boys are convinced to go join bryan at hedonism 2 as a result of this ep

j

Kratom hour is a go

Erik Bourre

hell yeah Mayor Quimby!

Nicolay Hristozov

Bryan's gentle friendly voice soothing my soul rn

GhostofCadia

Dude, the Crypt Keeper ignites an adrenaline response in me like almost getting in a car crash. That guy traumatized the fuck out of me when I was a little kid.

Thom
>>119694073

the memory of that taste instinctively made me throw up

Jeffrey Miller

Felix on fire, "Normalizing diplomatic relations with a new celebrity" and "Seeing your dad wearing a Kangol hat"

Raoul Duke

Lmao at the “Naomi Klein” slip. Actually Chapo should have her on too tho

Greg

Okay, I know we’re making fun of frivolous complaints, but I fucking hate states that don’t call it the DMV. “Oh no, we’re different it’s the *bureau* of motor vehicles.” Miss me with that shit!

Plainwrap

As someone who runs a small neighborhood business I can tell you there's gotta be a little siren that must go off at Yelp HQ whenever a 2-star or less review comes in because within minutes of it dropping your email gets spammed with offers from Yelp to 'improve' your listing for a small fee. And the longer you ignore it the more their emails start to sound like a shakedown from Paulie Walnuts.

Jenkum Terry

I had to look up Kevin Smith's movie theater and it turns out they will be showing the Taylor Swift Eras Tour movie and now I really want to take a trip to the Smodcastle to see a movie would never see under any other circumstances.

Jack Ryan

Fuck.. I caught a stray with that South Park comment

George Mitri

Bryan discussing the foibles of Guys was a necessary, necessary vibe cleanse to the grisly news of this week. Thank you.🙏🏼

jay alan

Quite a mid Walgreens … 3 stars

Equality State Of Mind

I once gave my county jail a 3-star review, as though they were a mediocre pizza place I had gotten a delivery from. Caused quite a stir...

Jack Dulaney

I didn’t catch it, so he’s going to go to Hedonism II?

Ross McWilliams

Ending on a flub. Paying the ultimate tribute to guys.

Watermane

I'm a bit of a guy myself

Poppy Chulo

This one isn't doing it for me.

Cameron Keyser

Stayed in a Microtel last October with family, in Winston-Salem, NC, for a wedding. Bride’s mom put us up there. My Cousins’ room didn’t even have a door. A door. One star.

Brad Plumb

As a follower of Will's Letterboxd, I'll be keeping an eye out.

Brad Plumb

Re Trump and cussing: I'm disappointed that Felix seems to have forgotten that Trump's first foray into national politics was when he went on a rant about negotiating with the Chinese and telling them "listen motherfuckers, you're not raising those rates" https://www.motherjones.com/politics/2011/04/donald-trump-vegas-profanity-speech/

neowave

That excerpt from Naomi Klein reads like it was ghostwritten by Kamala Harris.

sydney

nude weed whacking is insane

Samuel Liebrand

Trump’s definitely a guy who curses in private, but in a way that’s just as artificial as him keeping it clean in public. Right before he said “grab em by the pussy” he confusingly said “I moved on her like a bitch.” The most normal swear-user.

William

Tried guys- just can’t stand the co host

Rohmer Simpson

I'm listening to the Olaf Palme miniseries at Ghost Stories for the End of the World and I'm grasping more of the lore there than here.

Jack Hume

I am glad this episode dealt with only mundane topics of little consequence because I have yet to disagree with so many of you's takes. Funny stuff though

Evan Scott

I must live in the only pro-Palestine part of the country because this really doesn't feel anything like post-9/11 to me

Watermane

I needed this kind of episode rn

Nick Glasier

Anyone have a link to Quora Raiders?

Rohmer Simpson

Naomi Klein’s Guardian piece is really worth reading because she is now basically a showboating asshole whose every word drips with condescension and bullshit. There’s no shortage of awful posts and articles coming out of our shitty moment but hers is the one that’s being passed around most by people I normally respect/consider as friends.

K H
>>119712519

I have been avoiding any news from the major outlets. Of course even I am not sick enough to use Twitter. What state/part of the US do you live? I have been encouraged by 2 things. Tulsi Gabbard seemed like she was getting trashed on her social media by the oafs that usually simp for her. Additionally some corporate newsletters I've seen have actually included Gaza as a thing which would require aid and haven't viscerally come down for Israel and only Israel. I also haven't had anyone try to discuss it with me in real life yet. The memes from the zoomers seem to not understand, but are slotted into the "corporations are profiting off conflict template." So perhaps there is some level of innoculation. On the other hand there are so many bozo haters even in Chapo comments tut tutting Hamas.

Bryce Rodriguez

I need some reviews of the guy who cooks in the hotel bathrooms

Bradley Rosson

Felix and Brian call in show "Who phone nudist?"

Rohmer Simpson

Jesus Christ this Patreon redesign looks like fucking Windows 8.

Nate Ferguson

Too young for 9/11 say what????

Sparky

Will go one episode without simping over Nancy Mace challenge

Nicholas Conti

I went to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame yesterday 😅

Cory Gipson
>>119708562

I’m grateful to Bryan Quimby for giving Chapo a platform to rise from, but I find him exhausting the same way I would a 2000s zoo crew FM morning show host.

Cory Gipson

I’m confused by how perplexed they are by Trump swearing. He swears more on-camera than any current or former president I can recall.

Evan Scott
>>119712519

I'm in philly. Im banned from twitter now so maybe that's part of my perception but from what i've seen, in person actions have been overwhelmingly pro-palestine, dwarfing any kind of Zionist counter demonstrations which have been mostly old people. I don't mean this observation to imply that I think that the majority of people here are pro-palestine, but if there had been a pro-Afghanistan or anti-interventionist demonstration on 9/13/2001 I feel like people would've been killed Even in my wider social circles (i used to work in a restaurant group owned by a bunch of insane Zionists who like take staff on annual trips to israel and shit so I'm not totally insulated) the most Zionist stuff i've seen is like fundraisers for medical aid for israelis and like condemnations of Hamas specifically. Which like, yeah i get that that's not the perfect line, but for normy libs to draw that distinction is DRAMATICALLY different from what I remember the attitude being like 22 years ago. If their was a congresswoman who had an Afghan flag hanging from her office then i'm fairly confident she would've been immediately expelled and probably like fucking beaten in the streets. Even our local paper had an article that was like interviews with Israelis *and* Gazans locally about their anxieties over family members in the region. Could you imagine the NYT running a story on 9/13/01 featuring interviews with Afghans who have concerns with the US response? Idk the whole thing is maddening but I feel like the comparisons to post-9/11 kind of cheapen that. It was completely unfathomable to express anything along the lines of even-handedness back then, at least from what I remember. But maybe that's also because I was much younger and didn't pick up on nuance as much and lived in a suburban/exurban area instead of in a major city? IDK it feels a lot different to me

James Blackmon

I love this stupid podcast. Great episode.

Alexander Corden

Boston's first album is great though

Vincent

Anyone who didn't cry at the end of Clerks 3 is a fucking monster

Brian Rooney
>>119715270

I tried reading her recent book, and I was like how can there still be 300 pages to go….

Mark Ambrose

Kevin Smith as Daniel Plainview or Hearst for his type of Guys had me in tears. One of the most needed episodes in a while.

busty maiden

just saying "in minecraft" to someone as the new "an hero"

Rohmer Simpson
>>119715270

"media types" should be allowed 12 years to dine out on their early hits, tops.

Instantdumbass

Here for David the shark content. Fintastic episode 🫡

Cody Ross Rex

God I love this. Prayers up for the genius bastard, Matt Motherfucking Christman.

Tommy
>>119695323

I don't think so... She called Chapo "not capable of introspection" in an interview last month because Chapo did an episode about animal facts at the height of COVID.

Matt Murray

Can you guys please do a reading series over the guardian article "You be the judge: should my Boyfriend stop carrying his huge water bottle everywhere? "

June

a real earthiness :)

Petar Cirjakovic

This episode has helped calm my ass down, thanks y’all

Demented Avenger

Howard Stern has become the nose he used to tweak

MEAT CLOWN

The new patreon site design is absolutely heinous

Mark Schneider

I never gave the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame much thought, though I enjoyed Johnny Ramone's nihilistic statement when awarded, "God Bless George W. Bush, & God Bless the United States!" Very punk, in both the good & bad way. But good on 'em for never giving Boston the award, even when they started when I was in High School I knew they sucked rancid balls.

Sean McGrier

Trump called Kaepernick a son of a bitch like seven years ago.

Oliver guerrero

I love you guys…. We’re all brothers and sisters under the skin…

The Children of Jack Acid

In hindsight, of COURSE Will and Felix loved Howard Stern and Opie & Anthony. And thus the Dirtbag Left arose. But I think this show would be a lot better if they'd been Phil Hendrie fans.

dawood

Hoping Bryan adds a stop at chilkoot charlies while in ak. That would be a bit like david attenborough visiting subsaharan africa

Travis Marmon

Jethro Tull guy reminds me of when I saw Weezer for free and a guy kept shouting "BUDDY HOLLY," then left as soon as they started playing it

Brian

Absolutely need to see that titties post from the chive

Taylor Nicholson

That’s right Will, fuck the Diamondbacks. Kershaw choke artist.

Kevin Michael Lee

Mentioning yelp brought back the traumatic memory of getting fired from a coffee shop for a bad review. I had agonizing lower back pain, forced to work despite it, and a guy got uppity on yelp because I didn't smile when he asked for 2%.

James Proulx

I'm confused by someone claiming that they can't drink cold water without it upsetting their stomach. Aren't we like 70% water? If you can't drink water without it having a negative physical affect on you, it's probably because you're part alien or vampire or some shit. See a doctor. Or maybe just stop making shit up.

Jared Adams
>>119706634

Yeah, after Trump officially pulled out of the 2012 campaign he field tested swearing in his routine but Republicans found it too distasteful at the time.

NobleStrings

listening to Bryan is like chatting with your tribal tat uncle over a couple cans of Hamm's but without the racism and misogyny. gotta love 'im.

Andrew

I think the titties limerick is from something else, maybe The Man Show? I swear I've heard that before.

ploob
>>119736446

Common misconception. Your body is actually 90% meat.

Ian Priest

God the fucking Henry Cavill shit is the bane of the Warhammer fan's existence, it's so fucking lame. He made a passing comment in an interview about being a fan years ago and these reddit ass mfers are still going on about it.

Brian

I NEVER hear about this Hedonism 2 place unless Bryan is on a podcast. Dude just needs to admit he wants to go

Gagortion

anyone got this skateboard dildo video?

Mike Mariano
>>119749356

It was advertised on the radio all the time when I was a teen so I thought it must be pretty wild. It’s probably less of a health hazard than Burning Man.

ocelot

You guys would love my dad, he's a guy who wore a kangol all through my childhood and would constantly brag about his Quora "coffee expert" credentials every opportunity he could get. He eventually started a business with a Colombian man he met on Quora and was shocked when the dude took all the money and ran.

Brendan Kneeland
>>119750322

Not handy but Your Mom’s House podcast featured the guy (Pierce Paris) who did it, I’m sure it’s in their Reddit page somewhere. Pierce is a treasure

Ben Frawley

There’s a bowling alley in Madison that plays Chive TV and when you’re wasted it is quite hypnotic

Jay Bee Jay

I am 100% using that Rock N Roll Hall of Fame rant

Dan Anderson

I was in my early 30's when 911 happened. Really similar vibes right now. Very fucked

Trevor Wookfield

Thanks for the funny episode. It was a nice break from the void of reality.

DH Lawrence of A Labia

Wasn’t expecting an Opie and Anthony crossover. This is the first time I’ve laughed in 5 days.

Gulb

Gotta disagree about Nancy Mace. She looks like she's about to eat a mouse.

Frank

In regards to ChiveTV, it might be true that it could lead to patrons spending longer at bars. It was on at a bar once on a Thursday night while I waited for some wings at a 'American style' pub in Milwaukee. I'll admit to being somewhat transfixed by the quick cuts between various bad things happening to people, each one instilling a vague feeling of wanting to know how each scenario played out. A more inebriated individual might not be able to pull themselves away.

Jessica Rios
>>119760561

I was 31 when it happened and there was soooo much more unity then. There were virtually no dissenting voices. Maybe because the internet wasn’t such a big thing back then.

james

Watching guys now are we? Ok Redbar

Jessica Rios

I’m so old and so female that I had to look up who Kevin Smith was to get through this episode.

I am become reply guy

Bryan is a great guest, the Woodstock ‘99 ep is a classic

Kevin Boyle
>>119740103

No, see its cold water. Room temperature water is where its at. Imperialists, you see, need refrigeration whereever they go; whereas third worldist low impact human humans drink water at 90 degrees. If you need water below 50 degrees; you are a human animal.

Jason Matthews

I wonder if "Wandering Bishop" is one of Bryan's Guys, because I found one who posts on Amazon, recently. They seem to have fun.

Thomas Silva

I would like to point out that the titties limerick is explicitly written in the style of the song Tigger sings in Winnie the Pooh. Like, the original Winnie the Pooh. "The wonderful thing about Tiggers, is Tiggers are wonderful things, their tops are made out of rubbers, their bottoms are made out of springs" etc

J.P. McD.
>>119734612

I’ve seen people criticize Chapo as being “merely” 1990s style shock jocks and I laugh because Mr. Chapo would be extremely flattered by the comparison and there’s nothing wrong with that

Brad Plumb
>>119734612

phil hendrie was great until he lost his mind after 911. it was like losing a friend

Robert Dragani

Do y’all think RFK going independent will throw the election?

Bob Johnson

I visited my grandma a few months ago in SoCal out in the desert. I went to this bar and grill a couple times, and they were playing Chive TV. After watching it while waiting for my food, I could definitely see what they mean about the 90 minutes thing

g$

buddy i’ve been waiting years for chapo to talk about the stern show

Liz B

Bryan is so fuckin funny! Great episode guys!

Matthew Rogers

So glad Bryan was on again, I've loved the guys podcast one of my favorites right now

Aaron R

Deeply deeply healing episode

J.P. McD.

I got the Pirates of the Caribbean (2003) reference Will!!

Dustin Nelson

Eh I cried at Godzilla vs. Destroyah. Yeah I was 9 but still

Lea Greco

dear god we need matt back soon

Erik

as a Flubhead, I'm deeply disappointed in this episode. Love Bryan but he didn't give us an new flub material

Conner Dunathan

Felix coming in from the top rope with the deadwood references👌🏼👌🏼👌🏼

Bobby Schonger

I got flutes on my head but don’t call me a tull head

Matt Baber

At my douchey barbershop each station has their own little flatscreen. My barber plays nothing but ChiveTv. Twice a month I get to drink a tallboy and watch 25 min of epic fails at 10 am without anyone judging me. It’s glorious.

Dante

Didn't know that ChiveTV was a thing. After hearing some of the show last night I ended up at a bar with a TV dedicated to ChiveTV.

Ryan

I left the most scathing review of a Chicago Fire game experience this past week when they prompted me (via email survey). I was, indeed, seeing absolute red, but it felt great after!

Gumbo Pie

#FreeTheBidenHog

Gumbo Pie

It's all leading up to Joe Biden walking on stage with his penis hanging out of his zipper.

John Tillman

Other good google reviews to look up are strip clubs and police stations.

Jazminne Haywood

TF IS KATH?!?!?! This can’t stand!

D.O.D

Felix coming in with a "Lego" pronunciation like it's an Italian sauce

Justin

Matt is back on Twitter, and it's perfect

Tommy

Hhyswixw! People are saying it more and more!

The Children of Jack Acid
>>119734612

Amen. I liked it in a weird way, though, even though I missed his content, because it crystallized the Boomer experience and helped me understand their mindset, which roughly boils down to: "When WE protested in the 60s and 70s, we were good people. But kids who protest America now are spoiled morons."

Dang

When they were riffing about the shark guy I realized I was instinctively waiting for Matt to say something and got real sad Hope he's doing well

Oliver guerrero

What’s wrong with being old married guy who’s still excited to fuck his wife?

Horse Badorties

The Spokane "Tiki Lodge" Yelp is a masterpiece. The place sounds horrible. https://www.yelp.com/biz/tiki-lodge-spokane

Horse Badorties
>>119700405

If I could be bothered, I would give the San Francisco jail 5 stars. It was a real life panopticon!

Horse Badorties
>>119976069

And I quote: "A guy who worked here attacked my car with his fists. Apparently he had a problem with where I parked (in the lot). There were no signs regarding any designated spaces, so I just parked in a standard spot. The manager saw the assault but did NOTHING."

Horse Badorties
>>119716835

Ok ok I get it. She pointy https://thehill.com/policy/4128000-nancy-mace-says-gop-has-to-be-smarter-in-talking-about-women-to-win-in-2024/

Horse Badorties

Get Alice Avizandum as a guest- she's a Matt-level Marxist social commenter, and trans with a beautiful plummy accent.

Jason Matthews
>>119977319

Despite having near total guest overlap, I don't think the pods are on the best terms. Impenetrable insider baseball shit.

Mike

Could this guy get a shittier mic? I can still kind of understand what he’s saying

Zach H.
>>119767105

Nancy Mace has the Sarah Palin problem. Both look like you could shave slices of beef with their jawlines. Disturbing.

Nimbly Bimbly As FUCK

That Kozy Inn is on South High street in Columbus. The Speedway plays loud ass opera music to keep houseless, and other people away

Laura
>>119709943

That Olaf Palme series was really something. I was lost most of the time, but I couldn't stop listening.

Dk .

Lmao I there’s a bar and grill in my city called Sam’s that plays chive tv when there’s no sport on. Amazing to see my 60 year old dad be mesmerized by fail comps. Wonderful bonding experience tbh.

John Newman

More Bryan plz! He helped me become a drug & alcohol therapist, so anytime he comes on I'll be listening (though I'm usually doing that anyway lulz).

KatrinaJadeHelm

Glad to see Quorators getting love from Will. Alex and Jeremy are great

Degrassi Knoll

Howard had a segment on his show called "Guess Who's the Jew" featuring a (genuine) Klansman in full garb. Yeah - UNCANCELABLE

Michael Sterrett

Love Bryan! Always great to hear him in the 3rd mic seat 😎

Jon Lyons
>>121021936

we get to have 1 guy who represents the nation's intrusive thoughts

Warren

I’ve been to the flying pig, this is very funny