Neighbors [Complete Collection] (Patreon)

The entire story, in one convenient post. Enjoy!

One.

Who is this girl?

Very few times in my life have I seen someone so beautiful, so captivating, that I dropped everything I’m doing so that I can divert all my attention to them.

It just so happens that in this particular time I was with my wife, and she watched as my lusty gaze reached this mystery.

“You ought to take a picture,” Veronica said. “Maybe it’d be something to actually excite you in bed.”

Per usual, it was difficult to determine where Veronica’s humor ended and her honest observations began. Still, she wasn’t wrong about us being in a bit of a lull in the bedroom lately.

I blushed and looked away, hoping the young woman I had been targeting didn’t overhear her.

We had just left the apartment and had gotten off the elevator in the lobby when we encountered her. She had just left the building herself. I was already wondering if she lived here, as I had never seen her before.

“She’s new here,” Veronica said, showcasing her remarkable knack for reading my mind at the most inopportune times. “Her name is Ashley, if you can believe it.”

Again, Veronica knew me far too well. A spot-on observation that a pretty name like that, attached to a pretty face like hers, was like catnip to me.

“You know her?” I asked as we left the building. I scanned the surrounding area for another glimpse of her, but she seemed to be gone.

“I don’t know her,” she said. “I’ve met her. In the lobby, checking her mail. Just yesterday, in fact. She’s new to the building.” For a moment, that seemed like all she had to say, but with a sigh, she added: “I was going to bring it up yesterday, but I had a bad feeling about you getting all...hormonal.”

I scoffed at this, shaking my head. “Come on now, Vee. She’s got to be, what, 10 years younger than us? Not to mention that I’m, you know, married?”

“So?”

“Don’t go assuming that everytime I see another pretty girl, it means I’m going to leave you.”

She laughed. “Jaime, dear, I would love it if you did. I just don’t think you’re her type.”

“Her type? And what do you mean by that? I’m good looking! I’m smart! Just last week you told me I could pass for a young Josh Brolin.”

“You could literally be Josh Brolin and I don’t think it’d help you much.”

“And what makes you say that?” I asked.

She shrugged and smiled innocently.

“Oh come on. Just say it. Why don’t you think I could have a chance with a girl like that, hmm?”

She laughed again and shook her head. “Look, I don’t know. I’m just speculating,” she said. “But I’m rarely wrong about these sorts of things. And I can tell with a good amount of certainty that she’s…”

“What?” I interrupted. “Into tall guys? Into men her own age? Into men with beards?”

“...not into men at all.”

My eyes widened in surprise and I stopped walking for a moment. Realizing that Veronica had kept going, I quickly jogged back up to her side again.

“Y-you’re sure about that?” I asked.

“Pretty sure. Sorry to break it to you, loverboy,” she said, playfully swatting my chest.

--

If asked, I doubt either of us would say our marriage was terrible. We still slept in the same bed. We still made it a point to eat most of our meals together. We still held conversations and made plans to do things with each other. But whatever spark was supposed to be there had seemingly been snuffed out a while ago. There were times when we could deal with that, and there were times we couldn’t.

It was guilt, I imagine, that kept us together some days. For a long time, we had done a decent enough job keeping up with a long distance relationship - emailing and calling often and taking the train to see each other every other weekend or so. Then she floated the idea of me moving to the city with her. She had her eyes on a gorgeous apartment that was just out of range of her salary. But with two salaries?

She, now, felt guilt for having dragged me to the city and for having me, essentially, reboot my life. I felt guilty that I had agreed to such a plunge, only to fail her as the husband she expected.

Something had to give, and it perpetually felt like something was about to.

It would be another week until I saw Ashley again. Once again in the lobby, at the mailboxes, as we serendipitously checked ours at the same time.

“Oh, hey,” I said, tempering my emotions the best I could. ‘You’re...new here?”

“Yeah,” she replied with a casual toss of her straightened auburn hair over her shoulder. “Just last month. I’m Ashley!”

“I’m Jaime,” I said, sticking my hand out between us. She grasped it and gave it a gentle shake. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“Likewise! Where-abouts do you live in the building?”

“Third floor,” I said. “312, to be specific.”

“Get the hell out of here,” she said with a smile. “I’m on the fourth floor. 412!”

“Right above us...how about that.”

“Married?” she said, shifting her head to spy the ring on my finger. It broke my heart to have to establish this so soon. I would’ve killed for the chance to have feigned singlehood for a few more minutes.

“Indeed. Veronica - you might have met her?”

“That name is familiar,” she said with a smile. “I’ve met so many people recently, I apologize. It’s hard keeping everyone straight.”

“Of course, of course. What about… you? Husbands? Boyfriends?”

“Oh...no,” she said, blushing a little. “Just the single life for me.”

“Are you new to the city?”

She nodded.

“Well that’s good in a way,” I said. “It’s an open market out there for you.”

She laughed and shrugged. “It’d be nice to meet someone, I suppose. But I’ve been so busy unpacking and cleaning. And work…” She sighed. “It’s good just getting time for myself.”

I probably shouldn’t have said anything else. I should’ve just walked away. She could continue floating about my daydreams while I spotted her from time to time in the building. It wouldn’t be perfect, but it would’ve been good enough.

But I had to open my mouth again. “Well, look. You’re new in town, and I know that’s a lot. Veronica and I would love to have you over for dinner sometime. If nothing else, you get to make two new friends. Two new friends who live incredibly close by.”

“Are you sure?” she asked, a genuine smile stretching across her face. “I...I have to admit that I’d actually like that. I could use that.”

“Yeah? Okay, perfect. What if we said...Friday night? Seven?”

“I could do that! And you’re sure that Veronica would be okay with that?”

“It was practically her idea,” I said with a shrug.

--

“What the hell were you thinking?” asked Veronica, hands on her hips.

“Well, I just…”

“I mean, I could certainly guess,” she continued. “But if you were truly dying to bone our cute new neighbor, I can’t see how inviting her to dinner with your wife was going to achieve that.”

“Has it occurred to you that maybe I’m just a nice person and I wanted to reach out to someone who is new in town and might be needing some friends?”

She shrugged, scoffing. “No, that did not occur to me. When given the choice between thinking with your heart and thinking with your dick...well, I think we both know which you’d go with.”

It hadn’t been the first time she had levied such an accusation at me. For good reason, perhaps. While I hadn’t ever been caught with my pants down, our short-lived foray into having an open relationship fell apart after she found herself wanting the same romantic attention I seemed to afford everyone but her.

“I have no ulterior motive,” I assured her. “Just you and me and her, eating dinner and talking. We always say we could use more friends, right?”

She sighed. “I’ll play along with your little charade,” she said. “But I’m telling you right now - if I see so much as a wink in her direction, you’re going to have to ask her if you can sleep at her place.”

Admittedly, I was a little nervous. I didn’t think I was actually going to be able to flirt my way into Ashley’s heart, nor did I think she would let me. But so little thought had gone into my little dinner invitation that I wasn’t sure what we were actually going to do. Would Veronica and I actually be able to entertain her? Would we have anything in common at all? A disastrous night could result in lord-knows how many years of awkward interactions in the lobby as we said polite “hellos” and “good-byes.”

--

When I greeted her at our door that night, I just about bit off and swallowed my tongue when I saw her. It was the cutest dress I had ever seen - cream colored with pastel pink accents. Maryjanes? A fucking bow in her hair?

I swore - I was positive - that Veronica had put her up to this. She had to have. This was all an elaborate prank. Worse, it was somehow a sting operation to prove that I was an unfaithful sleazebag.

“You look lovely,” I said.

“Aw, thank you,” she said with an innocent shrug. “I just kind of, you know, threw on whatever I had lying around.” There was a brief enough pause to have me suspect that it wasn’t completely sincere when she said: “I like your tie!”

“Ashley!” Veronica’s sing-song greeting rang through the entire apartment as she swooped in from the kitchen to greet our visitor as well. “I’m so glad you made it! Gosh, that is an absolutely adorable dress. Don’t you think so, Jaime?”

“Mmhm,” I said. “Very much so.”

She knew what she was doing. She always did.

“Thank you so much. You look terrific as well,” Ashley said. The two met for a brief friendly hug. “I love your home! It’s so nice! So...mature. Unlike my place...it feels like I’m living in a box fort.”

“Well thank you,” Veronica said. “One of us has a little addiction to the pottery barn.” She proceeded to point to herself.

“For what it’s worth,” I said, “I think living in a box fort would be pretty fun.”

The women offered polite laughs, but it seemed a little forced. Not every joke is going to land, I told myself. Just make sure the next one is better.

“Why don’t you join me in the kitchen,” Veronica said to Ashley. “Dinner’s almost ready, and I could use some company while I get things out of the oven.”

“Is there anything I can help with?” asked Ashley.

“I’ll need you to take the glass of wine that I give you. And I’ll need you to enjoy it.”

“Oh gosh, I hope I’m up to the task,” Ashley said with a giggle.

The two went to the kitchen, leaving me behind. For a moment, I stood there, dumbstruck by what just happened. Was...Veronica flirting with her? Had Ashley been flirting back?

--

Once upon a time, I asked Veronica for something. It had been a little idea; a scenario that had been rolling around in my head for long enough. The sort of thing that I should’ve workshopped  more on my own time, but I instead thought I’d say out loud for the first time as I pitched it to Veronica.

She let me down gently. She simply wasn’t interested in putting me in a diaper, watching me crawl around, and feeding me a bottle.

She had assured me that she harbored no resentment towards me for having those thoughts. “People like all sorts of strange things,” she said. But she didn’t want to experience those particular things. Not even as a favor to me.

To her credit, it never came up again. In the years since - in all the arguments and misunderstandings we had weathered - never once had it been thrown back at me. She never called me a freak. She never made me feel like I was disgusting for wanting such a thing.

It simply was never mentioned. Somedays I even wondered if we had had that conversation at all, or if I just imagined it.

The fantasy, as one could imagine, never went away. Those sorts of desires never really do. They linger and they imbed themselves somewhere in your mind. Weeks could go by without thinking about it. Then, one day while you’re at the gym or while you’re cutting an onion - BAM - you’re daydreaming about crawling around in a diaper.

I had no evidence to support this, and Veronica had even gone out of her way to try and convince me that I hadn’t caused any harm to our relationship by making my request, but I’ve always seen that moment as the start of our relationship’s downward turn. The moment where, if nothing else, we both realized that we wanted different things in life and that there were firm lines that we wouldn’t be willing to cross for each other.

It was probably also the moment that she began to incessantly tease me for my adoration of all things “cute.”

--

“...and so I looked him in the eye, and told him that he absolutely, under no circumstances, could ‘taste the cat.’”

We all laughed. A genuine heartfelt laugh - even me. It was one of Veronica’s best stories, and no matter how many times I heard it, it never failed to get a good reaction out of me. Ashley, of course, was absolutely tickled.

“This food…” Ashley said, finishing a forkful, “...is so good. Veronica, are you a professional chef?”

“Ten years of the best culinary school there is,” she responded proudly.

“She means YouTube,” I said.

“Incredible. I’m a complete klutz in the kitchen. Like, completely helpless. It doesn’t help that I eat like a toddler. I swear, I eat chicken tenders so often that I’m amazed I haven’t somehow turned into a chicken.”

Veronica gave a playful chuckle and turned to me. That smile. You liked that, didn’t you, it seemed to say.

When I wasn’t speaking during dinner, I was daydreaming about taking her by the hand and leading her to the bedroom where we’d roll around the bed together for a few hours.

No doubt Veronica’s marital-telepathy was well aware of that.

“So you’ve just moved here. Tell us about that,” Veronica said, twirling her fork in some pasta. “What brings you here?”

“Work, of course,” she said with a shrug. “It was one of those job offers I couldn’t turn down - graphic design for a pretty big online retailer. Even if they only keep me for a month, I’ll be happy to have it on my resume.”

“I didn’t know designers were paid so well,” I said.

Veronica shot me a frustrated glance. As she should have - I was being a little snotty, perhaps on account of feeling like the third wheel for a night that I had arranged.

“Oh...like the apartment?” Ashley replied. Her tone seemed innocent - thankfully she hadn’t picked up on my snark. “I lucked out there. When my father found out I got a job in the city, he helped find me this place. I...hope that it doesn’t make me look too spoiled.”

We were reminded that we were a decade older than cute little Ashley. There was an obvious innocence and naivete about her that was almost too charming.

“Not at all,” Veronica said. “A girl has to eat, yes?”

Ashley nodded enthusiastically, downing some more wine.

I could see it playing out right before my eyes. The young and curious Ashley getting swept under the wing of the experienced picture of womanhood that was Veronica. I shouldn’t have been annoyed - I should be happy for both of them. Yet I was absolutely green.

The night felt like a series of errors on my part. I failed to chime in enough during the conversations at the dinner table. I failed to keep up with their wine drinking. I offered to clear the table and clean the dishes, while they spent more time talking and giggling together in the living room.

In a desperate, and foolish, attempt at quickly catching up with the women, I quickly downed some scotch just after finishing the dishes. I sauntered out to the living room, finding them already deep in a conversation I had no context for.

“...and you can just see it in his eyes, you know?” Ashley said with exaggerated hand waves.

“Ugh, disgusting,” Veronica said, seemingly engaged and invested in whatever story this was. “You probably want to trust him. You want this guy - this leader - to be the role model. But…”

“He’s a creep,” Ashley said with a nod. “Exactly. And I’m thinking - hoping - that I’m just imagining things. This guy is supposed to be my advisor, you know? The last thing I want is this awkward energy in the room. But - no. While sitting across the desk from me, I’m literally watching his hand slide into his pants…”

“No! No, he did not!”

Ashley nodded, while Veronica shot another furrowed brow in my direction. Was that supposed to be a poignant lesson for me? Something about not being a creepy older man?

I was annoyed. Worse, I had accidentally overstepped in my quest to get tipsy and had moved straight ahead to just being drunk.

I was always a tired drunk.

I interjected and contributed when I could, but I was getting less and less relevant to the conversation. No matter how hard I tried to put my best foot forward with Ashley - even though I had no idea to what ends I was even making this effort - she and Veronica had power-bonded in an incredibly short time.

There was little else to do but...slowly...fall...asleep.

I began to stir a little later, still sitting in the recliner in the living room. My senses were slowly coming back to me, and everything seemed fuzzy and blurred. I was still inebriated.

I heard a sound in the kitchen. It was soft and strangely...harmonious? I tried to think of what it could be. The fridge certainly never made that noise.

Neither Veronica or Ashley were on the couch anymore. I opened my mouth to call out for them, but I resisted. I had likely already made a fool of myself by falling asleep on the chair - I probably didn’t need to start calling out their names like a lost child.

Instead, I got up and walked closer to the kitchen in an effort to investigate the noise. My foggy brain tried to translate the sounds, but to no avail. They started. They stopped. The tone changed.

It was only as I almost neared the doorway into the kitchen that it suddenly occurred to me what it was. The sound of passion. No wonder it seemed so foreign to me.

I crept along the wall to the door, listening carefully. Little moans and groans mingling with the sound of wet lips smacking against each other. I poked my head around the corner, finding that Veronica had Ashley pinned in the corner of the counters, their arms slowly caressing each other's bodies as they made out.

“You’re such a good girl,” Veronica said. It was a tender tone that I wasn’t sure I had ever heard before.

“I want to be a good girl,” Ashley answered. “The best girl.”

“I can tell.”

“Thank you for having me over, Veronica.”

“No need to thank me,” Veronica cooed. “Now, why don’t you call me Mommy.”

“Yes, Mommy,” Ashley said before planting her lips on Veronica’s again.

Two.

There had been times when I woke up the next morning after a night of drinking, and the previous night felt like it had happened two years ago. Hours would pass in the new day before I’d have any specific recollection of it.

But the morning after our dinner with Veronica, it was all there, right away. I woke up thinking about Veronica and Ashley making out with each other; thinking about Veronica’s insistence on Ashley calling her “Mommy.”

I was mad - and I wasn’t even sure who, or what, I was the most upset with.

I went over the targets of my ire while in the shower.

There was Veronica, who had not only been annoyed at me for having invited Ashley over, but had even voiced strong displeasure for my obvious attraction to her. Only for Veronica herself to take advantage of my unconsciousness so that she could make out with Ashley? Not only did it feel like a betrayal, but it felt like a massively unfair double standard.

And Ashley! Who...well, rationally, I realized she owed me absolutely nothing. Still, could I at least be mad for a minute that my selfish and unethical lusting had gotten me absolutely nowhere with her?

And ‘mommy?’ Seriously? That felt like the biggest punch in the balls. All the “good girl” and “mommy,” talk...the cute dress and bow. The chicken tender diet. It was as if my fantasies were all coming true, but for Veronica instead of me. Veronica - the very person who had previously rebuked my efforts to incorporate talk like that into our own bedroom.

I had calmed a little by the time my shower was over. More than anything, I felt embarrassed for myself. Who had I been trying to fool? What had I expected to happen?

“Well, well, well,” teased Veronica as I dragged myself into the kitchen. “If it isn’t the city’s greatest host. A true gentleman who graciously falls asleep in his company’s presence.”

It occurred to me, for the first time, that she did not know that I saw her and Ashley in the kitchen. This knowledge felt powerful. Of course, nothing came easy with Veronica.

“I’m sorry about that,” I said. “I shouldn’t have overdone it.”

She shrugged, offering an indifferent smile. “I suppose that just happens to men of a certain age. Alcohol just hits a little differently than it used to.”

It was the truth, but hearing “men of a certain age” ruffled my feathers a little. I nodded. “I hope you and Ashley had a pleasant evening, at least?”

The smallest of quivers in her bottom lip; she was likely both enjoying a pleasant memory of her evening, and devising the lie she’d use. “It was nice,” she said. “We had a bit more in common than I expected and we got along well as a result. She’s a nice girl. A shame you passed out early.”

Obviously. Though I doubted the evening would have gone the same way had I been awake.

“Do you think she’ll be over again?” I asked.

“Oh...maybe. We hadn’t talked about another dinner.” There was a brief and seemingly purposeful pause before she added: “But we’re going to meet up tomorrow. Maybe grab a drink and a late lunch before we do a little shopping together.”

My fists balled up instinctively. It was one thing to be irrationally upset about my hopeless crushing on Ashley to go unrequited. It was another for Veronica to withhold information from me.

“Are you disappointed?” she asked. I wondered if she sensed my frustration, or if she would’ve asked this anyways.

“N-no,” I said, caught off guard. “Why would I be?”

“Well...I just know you’ve been quite fond of our new neighbor. I wasn’t sure if you...expected something to happen or not last night.”

This could’ve, should’ve, been the moment when I told her what I knew. I didn’t. Instead, I composed myself and laughed it off. “Maybe I was being a little silly. I think I just got a little caught up in all her...newness.”

She didn’t respond, instead pouring herself a cup of coffee.

“Did she...seem disgusted by me?” I almost immediately regretted asking that. What was I hoping to get out of any answer that Veronica gave me?

“Hmm, no,” she said. “Surprisingly. Mind you, she didn’t mention any burning desire to jump on top of you either. So that’s your choice whether that’s a win or a loss.”

“A draw, maybe,” I immediately replied.

“Should I ask her directly?” she asked. “Would you like a definitive answer as to whether or not she harbors any interest in allowing you to fuck her?”

Yes.

“No,” I said. “But also...that’s not what I wanted.”

She laughed and shook her head, seemingly unconvinced. I shouldn’t have been surprised. I could barely convince myself that was the case.

--

I was in a deep state of sulk from that morning conversation up through the next day, when Ashley showed up so she and Veronica could go out together.. It was probably more obvious than I wanted it to be, but there wasn’t much I could do about it. I felt like a lovelorn teenager, one Smiths record away from just replicating most of my younger years. To her credit, Veronica didn’t touch it. Either she didn’t want to kick me while I was down, or I had somehow transcended the known apex of patheticness and she knew there was nothing else she could say.

“Well you can’t go out shopping looking like that,” Ashley teased, pointing out my sweatpants and worn t-shirt.

I blushed. I had no idea that Ashley was coming into the apartment, and if I had, I would’ve done my best not to look like a disheveled slob.

“It’s a girl’s day out,” Veronica said. “Much to Jaime’s dismay, I’m sure.”

“Aw, that’s too bad,” Ashley said. It was hard for me to tell if she was showing sincere disappointment or just continuing to tease. “I’m sure if you asked nicely, Veronica would bring you home something from our lunch.”

“Don’t count on it,” Veronica chimed in.

“I’ll sneak you a little something,” Ashley said so softly that it was almost a whisper. She winked.

Again, was I being played? Or was she being sincere? My heart was dancing around in my chest and the uncertainty was killing me..

“Y’all just enjoy your day,” I said. “I’ll hold the fort down.”

--

Somewhere out there, Veronica and Ashley were giggling and chatting with each other. Maybe they had some cocktails in their hands, or they were knee deep in panties at some boutique lingerie store in the mall.

Meanwhile, I was lying in my bed with my cock in my hand. All of my pent up frustrations and fantasies were merging and colliding with each other. One moment, I was imagining myself crawling around on the ground in just a diaper when the two women returned. They’d mock me and watch me - taunting me to use my diaper for them.

And then the next moment, Ashley was the one in a diaper. She crawled around for me now, and looked up at me as she sucked on her thumb. She needed a diaper change. I’d be happy to help with that. I don’t know where Veronica was in this fantasy - maybe it didn’t matter.

I sighed at just about the same time I came all over my belly. It was a disappointing climax, muddled by both indecision about what I wanted, and the inability to completely break out of my romanceless reality.

I heard the front door opening, followed by laughter and chatter. Perfect timing.

I had been regretting not actually putting a diaper on - a thrill I rarely made time for anymore, but now I was thankful that all I had to do was quickly wipe up my belly and throw away the tissues. I bypassed my sweatpants, opting for a pair of slim jeans instead, throwing a newer - cleaner - t-shirt on.

I sprang to the bedroom door, about to emerge and greet them - but I paused to listen to them talk.

“...in the bedroom. During the day, too, so you probably know what that means,” Veronica said.

“Nooo,” Ashley said, her voice lowering - but not far enough. “Get the hell out of here. You don’t think he’s…”

“Maybe? Probably.”

I shook my head in frustration. She wasn’t wrong, or so I could safely assume. I was beginning to think I was cursed. I couldn’t make a single move without it somehow blowing up in my face when Ashley was around.

I quickly grabbed a laundry basket full of clothes off the floor and carried it out of the bedroom like I was completely unaware of what they had just been talking about.

“Oh, hey girls,” I said, putting my acting skills to the test with a faux-smile. “You’re back a little sooner than I thought you’d be.”

“Lunch was quick,” Ashley said with a shrug. “And the stores were too busy to spend much time in today.”

“We thought we’d come back here and hang out a little,” Veronica said. “Did we come home...too soon?” She offered a smirk to Ashley.

“N-no… I was just getting some laundry together.”

“Hurry back,” Veronica said. “We’ll show you what we bought.”

Now I was doing laundry, which I hadn’t really planned for, but I had to make good on that little lie. As I loaded the washer, I found myself daydreaming again - this time about Ashley walking into the bedroom and catching me touching myself.

They seem awfully chummy, I said to myself, interrupting my own daydream.

Returning to the living room, I found them sitting next to each other on the couch, going through a few bags of clothes.

“Oh, Jaime, good - you’re just in time. You have to see this dress that Ash got.”

Ash?

“Uh, sure… Go ahead and show me.”

I could immediately tell that I had been somehow set up by Veronica. She had this smugness to her face - more smug than usual - and whatever I was about to see was going to be more than I could handle.

Ashley - Ash, as her friends apparently called her - pulled a small pink lump of cloth from the bag.

“Oh...these are my new panties,” she said, giggling a little. “That’s not what I wanted to grab.”

“Oh, you should show those off too,” Veronica said, giving Ashley a playful poke in the arm.

“Yeah? Jaime, do you want to see my panties?”

“I...well...I mean, sure. Like, if you want to show them to me, or whatever. It’s no big deal…” I was rambling. I sounded like an absolute fool.

“Just show him,” Veronica said, putting me out of my misery.

Ashley held them up. They were bright pink. An electric bubblegum, if that was such a thing. I knew little about what the various cuts of panties were - I’m sure these had some sort of clever nickname in feminine circles. Were I in charge of the decision, I likely would’ve called them “fuck me” panties. Yet it wasn’t even the shape or the color of the panties that captured my attention the most. It was the bold white letters on the ass: BABY.

I just about choked on a gasp. It caught me by surprise. What the hell was the game that they were playing? This was a game, right? It had to be.

“Okay,” Ashley said, setting aside the panties as if there was absolutely nothing left to say about them. “Here’s what I wanted to show off. I’m so excited about this dress!”

It was a pinafore-styled dress, likely intended to be worn over another shirt or garment. It was a dreamy shade of lavender, with a big pink heart square in the center of the breast. Had it been smaller in size, I would’ve been sure that it was for an actual toddler.

“Is this not the cutest thing?” Veronica cooed. “God, I just saw it and I want to die from cuteness overload.”

“It’s not too much, is it?” Ashley asked her. “I love it, but I worry people are going to see me in this thing and think that I’m a…”

“Baby?” Veronica asked. “Is that the worst thing in the world?”

They both laughed. No - they cackled. It felt like I missed something. Some conversation where an in-joke had been born. I wished I was there for it, because I suspected it would’ve been right up my alley.

“I want to see it on you,” Veronica said, clapping her hands together. “Please?”

“Yeah? I could show you.”

“We’ll go to my room. Come on!”

Veronica took Ashley by the hand and pulled her from the living room and into the bedroom, closing the door behind them.

The bedroom - where just minutes ago I had rubbed myself off while thinking about the girl who was in there now. I couldn’t help but be a little bitter. I wanted to see her in the dress too. Another loss for me.

I hadn’t seen Veronica like this in…well, it was possible that I had never seen her like this. Even when she was ten years younger she didn’t act “one of the girls.” In a way, I was kind of happy for her. If nothing else, I could at least boast that I wasn’t completely wrong about introducing her to Ashley.

From the bedroom I heard giggling and laughing. I couldn’t make out what they were saying, but I could hear the tones. Veronica was using soft tones. She was cooing; praising and encouraging. It was harder to define Ashley’s tone. Curious? Obedient?

Infantile?

This felt like betrayal. This felt like I had lost my mind. History was being rewritten and maybe it was her who suggested the baby stuff to me and I was the one who rejected it.

How did this happen? Veronica knew this was a version of what I had wanted and what I had once sought from her. She had played it off as if she wasn’t even remotely interested. But now she was practically rubbing it in my face as she explored some version of my fantasies with Ashley.

From behind the door, I heard a high pitched giggle from Ashley. One phrase managed to make it through the door with just enough clarity:

“You like, Mommy?”

I had heard enough and decided to get some fresh air.

Three.

It took longer than I thought it would for Veronica to realize I was frustrated. I had gone for a walk, gotten myself dinner, came home and watched an entire movie, made a pot of coffee, drank said pot of coffee, and then - maybe 5 or 6 hours after Ashley had left for the day - she finally said something.

“So, are you mad or something?”

The conversation already felt doomed.

“No.”

She rolled her eyes and sighed. “Seriously? Do you think that I can’t tell when you’re upset?”

“Did you not notice I was upset for the last six hours?”

“I suppose not,” she said. Her bluntness hurt, though I at least appreciated it. “Care to tell me what this is all about?”

“I don’t really want to talk about it.”

“Well I don’t really want to look at your pouting face all night long. So I suppose we’re at an impasse.”

I truly didn’t want to get into what was really going on in my brain. I knew how it was going to come off, and I knew that I didn’t have any sort of rightful claim on Ashley. To be upset about these things - whether it was Veronica and Ashley’s closeness, or Veronica’s apparent appropriation of my own fetishes - felt silly, and I knew she’d feel the same way.

“Can I guess?” she finally asked as I dwelled over the things I probably wouldn’t have said out loud if I didn’t have to.

“Knock yourself out, but it’s probably not worth your time.”

“No, probably not,” she shrugged. “But that doesn’t mean I can’t entertain myself with your pathetic woes, right?”

I rolled my eyes.

“You’re unhappy about Ashley and I, aren’t you?”

“Do you think that I have a reason to be?”

“No. I don’t. But that doesn’t mean that you’re not going to pout about it anyways.”

I didn’t want to say more, but the words just exploded from me anyways: “I saw you two in the kitchen last night.”

This news seemed to surprise her. It gave me the slightest feeling of satisfaction, though there wasn’t much of a prize to collect.

“I see,” she finally said. “And I suppose you have feelings about that?”

“I don’t know.”

“What, exactly, do you think that you saw? Or heard?”

I laughed. Was this gaslighting? “You two were making out. You...told her to call you ‘Mommy,’ Is that not cheating?”

She laughed. It wasn’t some performative laugh either; this was a gutteral guffaw. “Is that really what’s making you upset? Because if it is, then you have my permission to find someone to make out with.”

“So, let me get this straight - when we tried to actually open our marriage, you put the kibosh on it because you didn’t like that I was getting too close to other women. But now, because you found someone who wants to worship you as their ‘mommy,’ you’re just going to go ahead and declare it open season again?”

“Jaime, are you happy?”

“I...don’t know what you mean.”

“Are you happy? With our life? Our marriage? And I’m not talking about before or some other magical time. I’m talking about right now.”

“Not as happy as I could be, I guess.”

“Right. I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings by feeling up the new neighbor. But I’m not going to stop either. And so do with that what you will. Do you want to mope around and pout about it? If so, have at it. Or do you want to go and have some fun for yourself?”

“Are we...done?”

“I don’t know what we are,” she said. “Frankly, I don’t care. We can worry about that some other day.”

--

I wondered if it was possible to break your phone from swiping too much.

That night, after Veronica went to bed, I spent two hours on the couch endlessly swiping through the best that the local internet dating scene had to offer. For the first hour, my standards were high. I didn’t just want to meet someone who would make out with me. I wanted to meet The Coolest Woman Who Ever Lived.

This imaginary woman - she had great hair. Great taste in music. She drank cool cocktails and knew the recipes to all of them by heart. She could set up and light a campfire by herself. At the drop of a hat, she would check my diaper and offer to change me if I had wet myself.

Nobody seemed to come close to this fantastical woman.

My standards dropped considerably in the latter hour, and only diminished further as I got more tired. Vaguely cute? Swipe right. No photo, but she says she likes the band Lush? Swipe right. Is that an axe in her hand? Swipe right.

I had to stop and ask myself: What did I actually want? Did I want revenge? Well, yes, probably. But did I want my dream partner? Or did I just want to have some fun? I knew the answer for that as well.

I decided to try a different tactic, venturing to an “adult friend finding” service instead. After haphazardly cobbling together a quick profile, I was back to navigating local profiles again. Messages were sent. Profiles liked. Eyes were getting heavy.

--

I woke on the couch with the feeling of the morning sun on my face. I never thought the couch was especially comfortable for sleeping on - but apparently my body had gotten to the point where it didn’t care where I was.

The things we do out of desperation.

I checked the dating apps to see if there were any responses to the messages I sent, or any mutual likes. Nothing yet. I could already sense a frustrating habit forming of needing to check as often as possible.

Forget about being able to focus at work that day. Most of it was just sitting at my desk, staring off into space and daydreaming about what could be. There she was again: The Coolest Woman Who Ever Lived. She was somewhere, right at that moment, reading my dating profile and smiling. She moaned softly to herself, clutching her phone close to her chest. Finally, there I was - just the guy she had been looking for too. She was going to make me dinner - and she was going to feed it to me too. After she put a bib on me, of course. And she’d guide each and every bite of food into my mouth. “Mommy already has to clean so many of your little messies,” she’d coo. “Let’s not make a dirty mouth another one of those things.”

I was checking my dating apps again. Nothing. Come on. Where are you?

But at that moment, my cell rang. It was Veronica.

“I’m working late tonight. Then there’s some sort of office happy hour thing. I’ll be home late.”

“Again?”

“I’ll consult with my lawyer, but I don’t think that’s against the law. I’m just letting you know to do your own thing for dinner,” she said.

I immediately checked my dating apps again. Nothing. Wherever Cool Woman was, she needed to hurry up and swipe right on my profile too so we could get some plans together for tonight.

In between my busy day of checking my phone and daydreaming about the nonexistent women who I’d one day meet, I found myself increasingly bitter and resentful of Veronica. Replaying the mental footage of our conversation the day before, she still hadn’t addressed the new baby/mommy dynamic that her and Ashley seemed to be working on. Even when I had specifically called it out, she dexterously avoided talking about it.

I typed the words out on my phone: What’s going on with you and Ashley? What is this mommy thing? I stopped just short of sending it. I wasn’t sure I wanted the answer at all, let alone via a text message conversation.

--

It was just me, myself and I for the rest of the night.

I didn’t even bother checking the dating apps. I didn’t need to rub that salt into my wounds. There was a limit to how much soul-crushing I could take at the hands of the universe.

Aside from sex and a partner that respected me, there were only two other things I could go for at that moment: a diaper and a good drink.

Why not both?

I saw no point in staying at home. Home was depressing. I was literally, and figuratively, beneath my wife and her new plaything. Who, yes, I wished was my plaything, but that no longer seemed to be on the table. Nor was it ever. God, I need that drink.

I put on a diaper; nothing fancy, it was just big, bulky and white. I didn’t keep too many of them around anymore, as I just rarely had a chance to wear them. They took up space - quite possibly the biggest commodity of all when it comes to city apartment living.

I slipped some slacks over it, threw on a cardigan, and decided to check out the local nightlife.

Wearing a diaper in public was something I hadn’t done in years. When I was younger, and stupider, I had some good times with being bold and kinky. Now, as every step forced a plastic crinkle to emit from my ass, I knew that I wasn’t capable of doing those sorts of things again.

I settled on Paladino’s, it was somewhere between a dive and a sports bar, though they charged like they were a much fancier establishment. Not my first choice, but it was the closest to home, and it seemed like the safest option. If my nerves got the best of me and I had to make a crinkley run for it, this was a good place to be.

There were some clusters of friends smattered about the bar. A few couples. A few independent drinkers that looked like they were best left independent.

“Hey,” the bargirl said. “What can I get you?”

“I don’t know. Bourbon, neat, I guess. But something fancy. I’m treating myself.”

She laughs. “I’m not a bourbon drinker myself so…”

“Surprise me. Whatever’s expensive.”

“Oh, well, that I can help you with.”

The bargirl is cute. I kind of want to flirt with her, but I also don’t need that sort of rejection tonight. Maybe I’ll just take the drinks instead.

But that’s when I see her a few seats away from me at the bar.

Ashley.

Are you fucking kidding me right now?

She saw me at the same moment I saw her, and she was grinning from ear to ear.

“Well well well,” she clucks. “Look who I spotted.”

I didn’t want to hear her voice tonight. I’m in love with her voice. But I can’t run away.

We stand up simultaneously and move a few seats closer to each other before sitting down again. I had momentarily forgotten that I was wearing a diaper, but the soft crinkles emitting from my ass as I sat down served as an urgent reminder that I needed to be careful.

“Flying solo tonight?” she asked.

“Veronica has some sort of…”

“...work function?”

I stop myself from rolling my eyes. “She told you too?” I don’t know why it bothered me so much.

“We text,” she said with a shrug.

“What are you up to tonight?” I asked.

“Oh, you know. Just being the new girl in town. Exploring.”

“And have you made any discoveries?” I was finding that my attitude with her had changed a little. The subtle resentment towards her and Veronica had only helped to ease my need to try and impress her.

“Not really,” she said with a smile, before taking a drink of her martini. “Is this the move when your woman isn’t around? Hit up the local bar life?”

“I’d hardly call her my woman,” I said. It had been hard to choose which of her questions I was going to answer.

“She’s not really the type to be owned, I guess.”

I laughed. She seemed wise and observant for her age. Or Veronica just wore such things on her sleeve. “Not especially. She’s the owning type, if anything.”

I caught something. A look. The slightest darkening of her cheeks.

“I believe that,” she finally said. She had more she wanted to say, and I watched her roll the words around in her mouth for a moment before she spat them out: “Does she own you?”

I laughed again. “No. But wouldn't that be nice?”

She smiled and nodded.

I was biting my tongue. But I managed to convince myself, in a very short amount of time, that this meeting was predestined and wasn’t meant to be squandered. If I had anything to say, I needed to get it out now.

“What’s going on with you and her?”

Now her face seemed to lose a little color. “Oh… You know about...that?”

“If I’m being honest, I thought the two of you were flaunting it right in front of me.”

“No,” she said, shaking her head. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize that it looked like that.”

I nodded. Yeah, I know.

“I’m stepping right in the middle of some shit, huh?” She finished off her martini, flagging the cute bargirl for another.

I sighed. There was no easy answer to that. “Veronica and I… Things are complicated and they have been for a while. But...If it wasn’t you, it would have eventually been someone else. And, I don’t know, that’s probably not the worst thing in the world. At least it’s you.”

“And what is that supposed to mean?”

“Like, it could be some other guy or some other girl that’s making her all giddy and excited again, you know? And if it was anyone else, I’d know nothing about them and I think that lack of knowing would kill me. But, at least with you...I like you. I know exactly why I’m jealous.”

“Oh,” she said, her voice dropping. “May I ask what’s making you jealous?”

I finished off my bourbon. The bargirl noticed, pointing to the glass to see if I wanted another. I nodded. Yeah, I’m gonna need that.

“There’s a dynamic that the two of you seem to share,” I said, speaking slowly as I carefully considered my words. “It’s one that I had proposed to her once.”

There was no confusion, nor was there any need for elaboration. She knew exactly what I spoke of. “I didn’t know that.”

It offered a little relief to me - knowing that Veronica hadn’t just told Ashley my dirty secrets or used it as an opportunity to mock me.

“How could you have known?” I asked.

“Maybe I shouldn’t even ask this…”

“We’re here. We’re drinking,” I said. Maybe I was trying to convince myself more than her. “Get it all out.”

“Were you proposing that she would call you...Daddy?”

I laughed. That sounded much less embarrassing than the truth. “Oh...no. The opposite.”

“The opposite?” I watched her process that a little. It seemed to be much more alien to her than I thought it would be.

“Right. Like...she’d be my Mommy? And I’d be the one in diapers.”

“Wait. Diapers?”

My heart froze and all of the air in my lungs dissipated. I had said way too much.

Four.

Neither of us said anything for a moment or two. I had contemplated trying to backtrack - maybe pretending that I had said something else or that I was just kidding. But I said what I said, and no amount of talking my way out of it would ever purge that from her memory.

“Just for the record...that’s not what we’re doing,” she finally said.

“I know,” I said. And I did know that. At least I thought I had known that.

“Like...I call her Mommy. She treats me like a little girl. It’s cute and it’s fun, I don’t know. Diapers? Is that something she’s into? Is she going to make me wear…”

“No,” I said. “That was only what I had proposed to her. She wasn’t interested.”

More awkward silence.

“Is that something you like?” she asked. She stared straight ahead at the wall of liquors instead of facing me. Maybe it was best for both of us that we didn’t make eye contact right now.

There really wasn’t much I could do to spin it or sugarcoat it. “Yeah. I suppose I do.”

I looked at her profile, and I wished I hadn’t. Once again, I saw the adorable young woman I first saw in the lobby of our building. My heart fluttered a little. This was all I had ever wanted since that first encounter - getting some time with her, one on one. Except now she knew I was a diaper-loving weirdo.

“I’m not going to judge you,” she said. “And I won’t tell anyone else either.”

It was nice of her to say, though I wasn’t sure who she’d tell. Our only mutual connection was already well aware.

“Thank you.”

I watched her open her mouth, but close it again with a sigh. I was torn on whether or not I should encourage her to say whatever she was going to say.

But, really, did I have anything to lose?

“Did you have more you wanted to say? Ask?”

“Yeah? You wouldn’t mind if I asked a question or two?”

See? This is why you don’t provoke conversations you don’t want to have. “Of course not. Go ahead.”

“So...do you wear them?” She looked around the bar carefully, making sure everyone was out of listening range before adding: “Diapers?”

I sighed. Here we were, jumping right into it.

“Yes. Well...sometimes.” I wasn’t sure if my correction made a difference or not. If I wore them just once a year, ‘yes’ still sufficed as an answer to her question.

“Does she know?”

“I’m sure she does. We don’t talk about it. I hide the evidence well, or at least I try to. If she knows, I don’t think she cares.”

I knew she had questions. Probably a million of them, too. But I had some too.

“Do you like being a...little girl?” I asked, unsure if I was using the right phrasing.

She smiled and blushed a little. I wanted to put her in my pocket and keep her there forever. Had anyone ever been so cute before?

“I never really thought about what I am,” she said. “My tastes just run...more juvenile. Immature. If I can get away with being the spoiled princess, I’m probably going to want that.”

I felt even stupider for saying the d-word now.

She continued: “Veronica - she just has a knack for making me feel - I don’t know - soft? Small? Dependent?”

I wish I knew that version of my wife.

“Let’s...not tell her that we had this conversation,” I said.

“No?”

“I don’t want to jeopardize whatever it is you and her have going on. I’m not saying she’d abandon it if she knew we were talking...but I’m sure she’d be annoyed. Just…” I trailed off a little. I wanted to find something profound to say to summarize this encounter, but the best I could come up with was: “Keep doing what you’re doing.”

She seemed to sigh in relief. “Are you sure? You’re okay with that?”

I shrugged. “As good as I’m going to be.”

Maybe the bar wasn’t the best move. WIth my second stiff drink emptied, it seemed time to head home and stroke myself silly - no doubt while thinking of the woman who was currently sitting next to me.

“I should get going,” I said.

“Me too,” she replied, almost immediately. “Maybe we walk back together?”

“That sounds nice,” I said with a smile.

--

The front door to her apartment crashed open, rebounding off the wall with a loud clang. Both of our bodies tumbled in through the door - arms wrapped around each other while our lips and tongues mingled sloppily and passionately.

I’m not even sure what happened - or when it happened. We left the bar together and we chatted with each other until we reached the lobby. There was a moment where it looked like we were going to go in different directions but, instead, something else happened.

I had put no thought or consideration into this. But I knew it was a bad idea.

“I didn’t think you were into guys,” I managed to say in between kisses.

“I never said that.”

Fair enough.

It took longer than it should’ve for me to realize what was going to happen. In fact, I realized it just as we reached the point of no return - her hands slowly sliding down my back. I couldn’t stop her. I wanted to, but I couldn’t. I was in the throes of lust, and it had shut down just about every other part of my brain that was capable of acting logically.

Her hands found my ass. She gave it a playful squeeze.

“Oh…” she said. It sounded like genuine surprise. “Are you…?”

My cheeks felt like they were on fire. I nodded.

“Really? This whole night?”

“Well...I certainly didn’t change while we were at the bar.”

“Oh-ho-ho,” she laughed. “This is naughty. You have to show me.”

“Wh-what? No I don’t…”

Her lips pressed against mine again. I could smell her. I wasn’t even sure what I was smelling. Lemon? Some sort of citrus? Floral? It was heavenly. Intoxicating.

She could make me do absolutely anything she wanted, and I suspected that she had already figured that out.

“I want to see,” she said. “Show me.”

I took a step back from her to start unbuckling my belt, but she descended upon my pants first. She wasn’t going to wait for me, nor was she going to ask permission. Which was fine by me.

She hastily tore open my belt and unbuttoned my pants. One firm tug was all it took to bring my pants down to my knees, leaving my diaper completely exposed for her to see.

She was the first person who had ever seen me in a diaper before. I certainly hadn’t seen this coming when I first encountered her in the lobby.

“Fuck,” she said. I was worried that it was a disappointment.

“I’m sorry...is this too much?”

“No, not at all. It’s just so much cuter than I thought it’d be.” She shook her head and repeated: “Fuck.”

Her hand reached down, feeling the front of the diaper. Feeling my erection - a near-constant presence since running into her tonight - through the thick padding.

“Do you use it?”

I nodded.

“Do you make your little pee-pees in it?” Her tone had managed to carefully walk the line between sincere curiosity and mocking.

“Yes…” I prayed that there wasn’t a follow up question to that.

She opened her mouth, but then just laughed and shook her head. Finally: “Do you have more?”

“More...diapers?”

“Yes,” she nodded.

“I do.”

“I’d like to borrow one. Try it out?”

“Well...if you’re going to borrow one, you might as well keep it,” I said with a laugh.

From Ashley’s purse, which had been haphazardly tossed onto the couch earlier, there was a chime.

“Ah, I should check that,” she said, slowly sliding from me. In the time it took for her to move the three feet to her purse, I found myself missing her touch.

My phone vibrated in my pocket - at that moment, located somewhere around my knees. I fished it out and found a text from Veronica: On my way home. Going out again though.

I looked up to Ashley.

“That was Veronica,” she said. “She’s on her way back. She wants to go get a drink with me.”

I sighed. Not that I was too surprised, but it did burn a little for her to have texted Ashley first.

“I guess I should let you go,” I said.

She pressed herself up against me one last time, her warm lips swallowing mine. When she was done, she stepped back and straightened up her clothes and hair.

“I should redo my hair,” she said. “Put some more lipstick on.”

“What was this?” I asked. I hated the question almost as soon as I asked it.

“Who cares,” she said. It was an answer I was thankful for. “I want to do it again sometime.”

“But Veronica…”

“I really like Veronica, and I like what I have going with her. But, I dunno. I like this too. Can’t a girl have both?”

I ran a hand through my hair and sighed. This was trouble. This wasn’t sustainable. This was a recipe for disaster. One day, this would be drama on a level that was beyond any that I could handle.

But that would only be a problem later.

“Of course,” I said.

She leaned forward and kissed me again. “Keep your pampers dry. And don’t be upset if I’m all over your wife later. I’m all worked up now.”

She was gone.

I pulled up my pants and collapsed on the couch in a huff. For a brief moment, I had absolutely everything I wanted tonight - maybe everything I wanted period - and now she too was gone. To spend time with my wife, no less.

Still, this was an interesting new wrinkle.

“Is this what you do with yourself on a Friday night?” I hadn’t even heard Veronica walk through the door. I realized I must have been pretty lost in thought..

“Just...relaxing,” I said.

“I’m going out with Ashley.”

“I…” I stopped myself from telling her that I already knew this. “I see. What are you two up to?”

“Getting drinks, I hope,” she said. “Is this your plan? Sitting around and staring into space?”

“No. I’ll...be putting a movie on or something.”

“Well don’t wait up. And, please, try not to get all butthurt about the fact that me and my good friend Ashley are spending more time together.”

She was trying to get a rise out of me, and it likely would’ve worked if I hadn’t just spent some time of my own with Ashley. My own strange time that almost felt like it hadn’t happened at all the further removed from it I got from it. I wondered what Veronica’s reaction would’ve been if I told her what had transpired earlier. Would she have been more upset that I finally got to stick my tongue in Ashley’s mouth? Or that Ashey’s hand was on my diaper, of all things?

I put the TV on while Veronica got changed and readied herself. I did my best not to dwell on these things too much.

It was hard not to. Ashley is playing both of us.

For the next ten or so minutes, I just stared at the glow of the TV, completely unaware of what was on it. Until there was a knock at the door.

“Can you get that?” Veronica called out to me. “I told Ashley to meet me here. Tell her I’ll be right out.”

Are you fucking serious right now? I opened the door, and there was Ashley again. She had just left here not that long ago, and in the time since she had seemingly only fixed her hair.

She walked past me into the apartment. “Good evening, Jaime. A pleasure to see you.”

I got a whiff of her as she drifted past. That same floral/citrus scent, except now it was tied to the memory of being so close to her as she felt up my exposed diaper.

I felt myself growing a little stiff.

“She’ll be right out,” I said. “She’s still getting ready.”

“Still in your diaper?” she asked.

“Shush. You can’t say that too loud!”

She smiled, playfully poking me in the chest. “You didn’t answer my question.”

“Yes.”

“I’m going to want to see it again.”

“My…”

“Your diaper,” she said.

I bit my tongue before I asked her to be careful with how she talked to me. I knew she knew this already. She was teasing me. Like Veronica, she seemingly only wanted to get me flustered.

“I can’t show you right now.”

“I know this. But when?”

“I don’t know.” I looked towards our bedroom, seeing that the door was still mostly shut as Veronica continued to get ready.

“Here,” she said, handing me a neatly folded piece of paper from her purse. “I wrote down my phone number for you.”

“Th-thanks,” I said, unsure of what else to say. This small gesture felt like it was a commitment. A promise. There’d be more of this - and thus, more danger. Still, it wasn’t going to stop me from just taking it.

“Can you do me a favor?” she asked.

I’d do anything for you. “I suppose.”

“If you end up, uh, using your diaper later? Send me a pic?”

“What? You want to see...that?”

“I’m just curious,” she replied. “I mean, truth be told, I’d rather just watch you use it. This is the next best thing.”

“I mean, I can. I...I’ve never shown that to anyone before.”

“Ooh,” she said with a little squeal. “So I get to be first? I like that.”

My eyes kept wandering back to the bedroom door, waiting for the moment when Veronica would return and cut the conversation short.

“I can do that,” I said.

“It’s research,” she said with a shrug. “For me.”

“Do you still want one?”

“Not now. But...probably?”

I saw the shadows of Veronica’s feet at the base of the bedroom door. I stepped away from Ashley without even thinking about it. I did my best to not have a guilty look on my face, but that was a challenge when I felt absolutely wrought with guilt. What was I doing? To what end?

“Ashley,” Veronica purred as she emerged. “I hope Jaime didn’t bore you too much while you waited.”

“Oh, never,” Ashley said. A big goofy smile was plastered on her face. I’d like to think it was for me and the conversation we just shared - but it was likely actually directed towards Veronica. I couldn’t blame her - in her slim black dress and heels - Veronica looked hot.

“I need to get some drinks in my belly,” Veronica said. She drifted past Ashley, staring right into her eyes as she did. I could just see Ashley melting before my eyes. I could see we were well past the point of either of them being subtle about how they felt for each other.

Soon after, they departed and I found myself pressed against the door, listening to the diminishing sound of their giggles and flirtatious tones as they got further down the hallway away from the apartment.

I checked my dating apps again. No new messages.

It was 10:00 PM on a Friday and I was already thinking about going to bed.

But first, I had a diaper to soak.

Five.

Veronica didn’t come home that night. When I woke at 4 AM, still dozing on the couch with a soaked diaper on under my pants, I carefully made my way to the bedroom to see if Veronica was already tucked in. It was empty.

By 9 AM, as I scrambled an egg for myself, there was still no sign of her. No text messages. No phone calls. I couldn’t decide which was worse: that I hadn’t heard from her, or that I wasn’t especially bothered by her absence.

I looked up at the ceiling. On the other side of it would be Ashley’s apartment. I knew exactly where Veronica was. But that was all that I knew.

What had bothered me more was the lack of response to the picture I had sent Ashley.

Somewhere around 10:30 PM I had wet myself pretty heavily. Then, in the hour or so that I sat around in my diaper working up the courage to send her a picture of it, I managed to wet myself a second time. It was close to midnight when I finally hit “send” on a picture of my legs opened wide, the bottom of my soaked diaper sagging between them.

I had taken close to 50 pictures, and picking the right one had proven itself to be almost more difficult than actually sending it. Hours later, as I prepared breakfast, I wasn’t completely sure what I had been thinking when I sent the photo I did. Of all the photos I sent, that one was one of the more humiliating angles.

But she hadn’t responded. I wasn’t even sure if she had seen the photo or not. My mind automatically went to the worst case scenario: Somewhere, in between getting drunk together and fucking each other, they were laughing at my picture. Look at this pathetic toddler of a man!

It was a little irrational to truly believe that was the case, I knew this. Ashley had made it clear that she was curious about the diapers - and she was certainly willing to show Veronica how little she could be. Yet, the longer it went without a response, the more I dwelled on the worst possibilities.

When I heard my phone buzz from across the kitchen, I just about fell on my ass trying to rush to it. Would it be Ashley, finally responding to my photo? Veronica, telling me where she was?

It turned out to be neither. It was a message from one of the dating apps. The “adult friend” app.

Hello, handsome boy. In need of a change, are you?

Her name was Lucy, or so her profile said. My age. She was somewhere in the city. She had two pictures. One showcased her voluminous light brown hair and equally plump lips - coated in a delectable red lipstick. The other was of her ass, or an ass. Round and perfectly curved, I could feel myself springing to life in my pants just staring at it. The cynic in me didn’t believe that any of this was real - as much as I wanted it to be. But that face? And that ass?

I call myself a switch, her profile read. But, if I’m being honest, it’s only to cast a wide net. My comfort zone is on top, looking down at you. I’m open minded, but I hope that you are too. Slappable butt cheeks, foot-worshippers, and big babies to the front of the line.

I closed the app. It was too good to be true. I liked the concept of Lucy. Loved, even. It was too much for me at that moment, though. Who was I fooling? The idea of finding someone else was a poor one - especially now that I was slowly finding myself sliding into some bizarre triangle here at home.

Another cup of coffee. I stared at my phone, hoping that through sheer willpower alone, I’d manage to summon communication from either my wife or my neighbor.

Instead, the front door opened and Veronica walked in. She was obviously wearing the same clothes she had gone out in. I expected a look of shame or embarrassment - but the smug smile on her face suggested the exact opposite.

“Good morning,” she said.

“Where did you two get drinks? The moon?”

She scoffed and casually shrugged, putting down her purse and kicking off her shoes. She sauntered to the coffee maker and poured herself a cup. She began to drink it - black. She never did that.

“Long night?” I asked.

“Don’t get your boyhood all twisted,” she said. “We simply drank too much and I opted to crash at her place.”

I was the one to scoff now. There’d be no convincing me that that was all that happened.

“Not buying it?” she asked. “Well, you tell me then. What do you think happened?”

There was no way that I was ever going to be able to say aloud the things I imagined the two of them doing. I’d probably end up turning myself on just getting the words out.

“I have no idea,” I said. It was a concession. She had won, yet again.

“I’m going to take a shower,” she said. “Maybe take a nap after.”

Going to wash all the sex off? “Alright. See you later.”

I wasn’t sure if I had felt better or worse after that exchange. There was no doubt in my mind that Veronica would’ve rubbed it in my face if she had seen the photo I had sent Ashley, so there was a little relief there.

I daydreamed about Lucy - or perhaps I was just assigning aspects of her dating profile to the current iteration of The Coolest Woman Who Ever Lived that resided in my imagination.

--

“Hello, handsome boy. In need of a change, are you?” she’d ask.

“Not yet,” I said to her.

“Well, best not to keep me waiting. Why don’t you squat down and put something in that diaper for me?”

“I’d be happy to.”

“But you’re going to have to fill it. And I mean really fill it. Up to the brim. I don’t care if it takes you all day. I’m not changing you until you absolutely need to be.”

“Then I should get to work…”

--

Opening my eyes was a mistake. It was just our apartment. No Lucy. No diaper. Only the faint sound of the shower running in the bathroom.

My phone vibrated again.

Ashley: Do you always soak your diaper that much? Or were you just trying to impress me? ;)

Finally, a response from Ashley. There was no acknowledgment of how long she had kept me waiting, but maybe it was for the best. I’d much rather see this reaction than an apology.

Me: That depends. Were you impressed?

Ashley: Very. Is it bad that I wished I could’ve felt it?

Yes, that was probably bad.

Me: I wish you could’ve too.

Ashley: I want a diaper.

Me: I can get you one today if you want.

Ashley: No rush.

The water was still running. This was probably going to be my best opportunity to get her a diaper, as soon Veronica would be back in the bedroom, and it’d be unlikely that I could fish a diaper out of the closet while she was in there.

It felt more like a covert operation than it should have. One ear was kept on the sound of the shower at all times while I rummaged through the closet. I plucked a diaper from my pack just as I heard the water shut off. I closed the closet door and quickly scrambled from the bedroom.

Me: May I bring one up to you now?

Ashley: I’m hungover and I look frightful. So maybe just leave it at the door?

Me: I’m not just going to leave an adult diaper in the hallway at your door.

Ashley: Put it in a box or something?

I grabbed a paper bag from a cabinet and slid the thick diaper into it. It was almost a perfect fit, with just enough room at the top to fold it closed. I wanted to write something cute on the bag, but everything I could think of pretty much rendered the bag useless.

I quickly darted from the apartment and took the stairs up a level and jogged over to her door, laying it on the ground in front of it.

Me: It’s at your door.

Ashley: You’re the best. Thank you.

I remembered what she had said to me the night before and decided to repeat it to her:

Me: Keep your pampers dry.

Ashley: You didn’t listen to me, so why should I listen to you?

A pang of lust and excitement ran through my body. I needed to get out of there before I busted down her door.

Back at the apartment, I found Veronica on the couch in a bathrobe instead of in bed.

“Where were you?”

“Checking the mail,” I said. I had almost phrased it as a question.

“And did we get any?”

“No…” I quickly added: “But maybe it just didn’t get here yet.”

My phone vibrated in my pocket. I glanced to see who it was.

Ashley: HOLY SHIT. This thing is so fucking big!

“What’s your plan for the weekend,” Veronica asked, staring ahead at the TV.

“No plans,” I said. “Laundry, I guess? There’s that new brewery downtown. Maybe I’ll go check that out?”

“Exciting,” she said. I wondered how much of what I said she had paid attention to.

“What about you?”

Ashley: The tapes go in the...back?

I stepped back a little from Veronica so that I wasn’t in her field of vision.

Me: Yes.

“I’m not sure,” Veronica said. “Ashley and I might go out again tomorrow. If that’s okay with you.”

Her tone didn’t sound especially snarky, but I didn’t believe she actually cared about my feelings on the matter.

“You certainly don't need my permission,” I said.

Ashley: I’ve never felt more ridiculous. I’m lying on the floor of my bedroom trying to diaper myself.

“I was trying to be polite,” Veronica said. “I know things have gotten...weird lately. Weirder even. But I don’t want to be an asshole to you.”

Me: But is it ridiculous in a bad way?

“You’re not an asshole,” I said. I truly believed that, though I knew there were some times when I was probably on the fence. “But I think you’re right. Things have gotten strange.”

“What are we going to do about that?”

I shrugged, though I knew she couldn’t see that. “I guess the question is...do we want to do something about that?”

Ashley: I...think I love it. It’s so fucking thick. OMG, is this what it feels like to be a baby? I can’t even walk right.

“Sometimes,” Veronica said.

Her response didn’t make sense to me. I wondered if I had tuned out something she said while reading Ashley’s texts. “What do you mean?”

“I mean...sometimes I think I want to do something about that.”

“And what about the other times?” I asked.

She just shrugged.

Me: Most babies don’t walk at all. So you’re at least a toddler.

Veronica sighed. “Is it possible, you think, for us to live together and be civil with each other - friends, even - while taking a minute or two to live for ourselves?”

I felt like we had already had this conversation. Or maybe I had just assumed that was what we were already doing.

My phone vibrated again. I glanced at it quickly, seeing that it was a photo from Ashley. I couldn’t even bring myself to look at it right now.

“I can be civil if you can,” I said.

“Even if I keep seeing Ashley?” Veronica asked.

I considered - for the briefest of moments - mentioning my own tryst with Ashley, but I thought better of it. Not only would it likely not be received well, but I barely knew what it was myself yet. There was the distinct possibility that Ashley was just using me.

“Yes,” I said.

I couldn’t help myself, I looked at the photo Ashley had sent. Sure enough - there she was, posing in the mirror in just a diaper and a gray top that barely concealed her belly. The diaper was just a little too big for her, though she had made it work. But it only served to make the diaper seem thicker and more bulging on her. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck.

“I meant what I said before,” Veronica said. “Find someone. Get out there and meet people. Maybe this is a good opportunity for us, you know? Maybe we see other people and it helps us not to take each other for granted.”

Me: You look absolutely adorable.

“Or maybe we end up worse off than we are now,” I said. I could’ve kicked myself. I was being honest - and it was a valid concern - but I was shooting myself in the foot when I was being handed the opportunity to see other people without repercussions. If, of course, I believed what she said. If Veronica believed what she said herself.

“It’s a risk I’m willing to take,” Veronica said.

Ashley: I want to wet myself. Is that bad? I’m so curious.

I reached down and adjusted my stiffening manhood in my pants - still grateful that Veronica couldn’t see me.

“Okay,” I said to Veronica.

“Okay?”

“Okay. Me too. It’s a risk I’m willing to take as well.”

“So we’re on the same page?”

“I think so,” I said.

Me: That’s what it was made for. It’d be a waste of a diaper if you didn’t.

I slipped my phone into my pocket as Veronica stood up. The timing was either a complete coincidence or I had unconsciously predicted that this would be the case.

“I think I’m going to take that nap,” she said. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“Talking with me, I guess. Or humoring me.”

“I’m still your husband,” I said.

“Some husbands throw their wives off of cliffs.”

“That’s too much work for me,” I said.

She laughed. It was the first time in a while that she had given me any sort of genuine smile. This was the Veronica I missed.

As Veronica went into the bedroom and closed the door behind her, I could feel my phone vibrating in my pocket. This time I was in no rush to check it. It almost felt like it would spoil the small moment I had just shared with Veronica. Besides, I had some things to think about.

I sat down on the couch, propped my feet up, and tried to just zone out for a bit.

My phone vibrated again. Maybe Ashley was working up the courage to use her diaper for the first time.

Another vibration. Maybe she actually went ahead and used it.

Another vibration. And another.

What have I gotten myself into?

Six.

Hello, handsome boy. In need of a change, are you?

I had read and re-read the message from Lucy close to 100 times. It said so little, but it also said everything. I could almost imagine Lucy’s voice in my mind. Her tone. Her inflection for each syllable.

I wanted to write her back.

But I also didn’t.

Lucy might not even exist. She could have been a hoax or a scam. Maybe somebody’s hobby or catfish project.

But she did exist in my mind. And so long as I didn’t write back, she would continue to exist there.

Even if she did exist, and she was who she claimed to be, I still had to impress her. I needed to be whoever it was she thought I might have been when she initially reached out to me. That, in itself, sometimes felt like an insurmountable obstacle.

I was constantly waffling back and forth on whether or not I was going to respond. When I woke up that Sunday, I was positive that I wasn’t going to. Between the complicated relationship I had with Veronica - and the strange game that might have been blossoming with Ashley, I wasn’t sure that I even wanted to entertain the idea of introducing yet another element to this world of mine.

Yet, by the time Veronica left the apartment to go spend time with Ashley again, my phone was in my hand and I was ready to respond.

Oh yes, I badly need you to change me and…

I probably shouldn’t be so desperate. I opted to scrap that message and start over.

Me: I could probably always use one, though you’re welcome to check and see for yourself.

I felt better about that. I hit send.

Then, it was just a matter of waiting.

I checked my phone 2 minutes later. No response.

Five minutes later. Nothing.

Ten minutes later. Nothing.

Twenty minutes later. Nothing.

Come on, Lucy. Please.

When it became apparent that I couldn’t just will a response into existence, I tried to allow my mind to wander elsewhere for a bit. It wasn’t too hard to do - I simply pulled up the text messages from Ashley the afternoon prior. The ones I had initially neglected to read. The ones she sent me while excited for her new diaper adventure.

Ashley: I want to wet myself. Is that bad? I’m so curious.

Me: That’s what it was made for. It’d be a waste of a diaper if you didn’t.

Ashley: Yes, you’re right. Thank you, I needed to hear that.

Ashley: I chugged so much water in the last hour or two so that I could do this.

Ashley: I have to pee so BAD. But...I can’t? It’s like my body knows it’s doing something it shouldn’t and it's not allowing me to do it.

Ashley: LOL nevermind. Totally pissing myself right now. HOLY SHIT. I’M DOING IT!

Ashley: OMG, I wish you could feel this.

I wish I could’ve too. I could see it happening. I could imagine the expression on her face as she wet herself.

There were no texts after that, and we hadn’t spoken since. I wished I had responded the day before, even if it was hours later. Now too much time had elapsed, and it’d be awkward and essentially useless for me to do so.

I would’ve loved to have known what happened next.

--

“Hello, handsome boy. In need of a change, are you?”

In my imagination, there she was again - Lucy. A construct of Lucy. Bits and pieces of her profile combined with imagined details and well wishes.

It was probably unhealthy to daydream about someone I made up as much as I did. It felt like having an imaginary friend.

At first I thought I was just daydreaming again. But it occurred to me that it might have been an actual dream.

“You’d have to look for yourself,” I said.

“Turn around,” she commanded.

I did so.

I felt her fingers pull open the back of my diaper so that she could peer in. I was unsure what she saw - I wasn’t even sure myself what the condition of this diaper was.

“Pretty clean,” she said. “You can do better than that.”

“I can do anything you want me to,” I said.

“You know what I want.”

Did I? “You want me to...fill my diaper.”

“Yes,” she said.

I was acutely aware of another presence in the room. I spun around to see that both Veronica and Ashley were here too. How long had they been here? Had they always been here?

“Fill it up, diaper boy,” Veronica said with a snide smile. “We know you want to.”

“If you do it, I’ll do it,” Ashley said. Then, looking to Veronica: “If I do it, you’ll change me right?”

“Of course, baby,” Veronica cooed.

“Well?” Lucy asked. “What’s keeping you?”

I didn’t need to be told again what I had to do. With no further consideration for who else was in the room watching me - and I was no longer sure who was in the room or not - I proceeded to squat down and push.

--

I woke suddenly, catching myself seconds before I was actually pushing on my bowels.

That had certainly never happened before.

It had been years since I had messed in a diaper. Too much time had elapsed for me to say, for certain, whether it was even something I liked or not. It was one of those things that - in a fantasy and removed from reality - seemed pretty exciting. Though...maybe there was a reason it had been so long since the last time I had done it.

It was just a dream, I had told myself. Just a weird dream brought on by a little dry-spell in the bedroom, that’s all. Dreams were, you know, random fragments of thoughts and ideas that were just, like…

Oh, fuck it. That dream was hot as hell, and it had convinced me to take my cock out of my pants so that I could start stroking myself.

There I was - now thinking about shitting a diaper while my wife watched. While Ashley watched.

And Lucy.

I finished quickly - it felt more pathetic than satisfying. The refractory period was spent contemplating my ever-growing desperation in contrast with how much of a tease my life had become.

I was lonely. I needed...something. Someone. I needed to talk about diapers with someone who wasn’t, probably, fucking my wife as I sat here fantasizing about shitting myself.

I cleaned myself and used the bathroom before returning to the couch, slightly more grumpy. Slightly more sad.

My phone was in my hand, and I tossed it back and forth from one hand to another. I thought about texting Ashley - even though she was out with Veronica. But what would I even say?

I tossed my phone across the room, letting it land on a chair. That kind of thinking was dangerous and I needed to get away from it.

New plan: I’d run down to the store, grab some beer and snacks, then come back up here and get lost in a bad movie or two. I just needed a distraction - and if TV couldn’t do it by itself, then maybe it could with the help of beer.

I threw some decent clothes my shoes on. I considered slipping into a diaper for my little jaunt - something else I hadn’t done in a long time - but I decided against it. In my current state of perpetually-unfocused horniness, it was probably best that I didn’t over-excite myself.

Except, as it turned out, the whole world seemed stimulating when you were desperate and lonely. Every cute woman - hell, every cute guy - triggered a fleeting fantasy of them watching me in some state of infantilism. I passed a woman pushing a stroller. I wish she was pushing me around.

The grocery store? The absolute worst place to be in this mindspace. I told myself I was going to be strong. I could walk right past the baby aisle. There was no need to rile myself up further.

And then I was suddenly there.

The aisle’s faint scent of baby products. The wall of diapers; far too small for me, but that didn’t stop their presence from making me blush regardless. Bottles I could be drinking out of. Pacifiers I could be suckling on. Baby food. Formula. Diaper rash ointment.

There was a bib that read “Mommy’s Little Dinosaur.” With its pastel green and yellow accents, I found it pretty cute, though I had no idea if it would fit around my neck or not. I held it up to myself for a moment, placing it on my chest and under my chin - only to find another woman giving me some suspicious side-eye. I awkwardly laughed and set the bib down.

What are you doing? Food and beer. That was the plan.

I wandered back towards more adult foods, though a pacifier had found itself hitching a ride in my shopping basket.

My phone vibrated.

Veronica: Where are you?

Me: At the store. Where are you?

Veronica: We went out for some food, but now we’re headed up to her place for a bit. We stopped by the apartment, but you weren’t here.

I sighed. Of course, the one time I left the apartment was the time that Ashley would’ve been there.

And, right on cue…

Ashley: We were just at your place. Nobody home…

Me to Ashley: So I heard. That’s a shame, because I literally just stepped out for a moment to get some stuff.

Me to Veronica: Planning on being out for a while?

Ashley: Need more baby powder? Baby wipes? ;)

Her message had me buzzing. I felt my skin tingling and my cheeks warming. I wasn’t just walking down the store aisle, I was floating down it.

I hated that I had given her so much power over me. Or...maybe she had just taken that power.

Me to Ashley: Just regular adult food, thank you very much. And beer.

Veronica: Probably.

Me to Veronica: Have fun.

I threw some more food in my basket. And a pint of ice cream - the universal symbol for spending the night alone.

It was as I was picking out some beer for myself that I got another message from Ashley.

Ashley: Can I show you something?

Me: Of course.

Ashley: But promise you won’t get mad…

How could I ever get mad at Ashley? Those words, in that sequence, didn’t even make sense to me at that moment.

Me: I won’t. Though I’m very curious now.

She sent a photo. Except, with my spotty connection within the store, I wasn’t loading. My heart raced a little. What was she going to show me? Why did she think it’d make me mad?

I tried to find a better position in the store, wandering around aimlessly while staring at the screen on my phone. Two bars. Three bars. Two bars. One bar. Two bars.

I gave up and slipped the phone into my pocket so that I could just pay for what I was buying and get out of there - which is what I should’ve done in the first place. The checkout line moved excruciatingly slow. Either it just seemed that way because I wanted to see this photo - or because the universe was doing its best to piss me off. Message received, universe.

It was only one I was in the parking lot that my phone’s bars began to replenish and the photo loaded.

Diapers. More diapers. Big thick ones, not unlike the ones I had - except these were a solid pastel pink color.

My initial reaction was genuine happiness for her.

Me: Hey, good for you! Those look cute. How did you get these?

Ashley: The advantages of living in the city, I suppose. I found a local supplier with same-day delivery. I owe you a diaper.

Me: Oh, no, you don’t owe me anything. That was a gift. Besides, I’m not sure if pink is my color…

Ashley: Don’t be silly. All babies look adorable in pink. Just like your cheeks right now, am I right?

Oh, she was right. I could feel my warm cheeks radiating as I walked home.

Once again, I wondered why she thought I’d be upset with her for showing me this.

Unless…

Me: Does Veronica know about the diapers?

Ashley: Not yet. But...I was thinking I’d show her today.

I had to put my phone back in my pocket. I wasn’t mad at her. I couldn’t be. But…it did rub me the wrong way. Just a little. She had already somehow gotten Veronica to treat her the way I once asked to be treated - but was denied. And to make matters worse, in giving her one of my own diapers to try, I may have only been contributing to this ever-evolving nightmare.

I felt the phone vibrate in my pocket. I told myself I wasn’t going to look at it or respond until I got home, but I caved after just walking a block.

Ashley: I hope that's not too weird.

What if it was? Would she do anything differently?

I spent another block mulling over what my response should be. I thought about the things I should say. How she can’t string me along while having fun with my wife. How I was the one who first fell for her, and had never really recovered from it. How I wanted to be the one to change her diaper.

Instead…

Me: You’re good. Promise. I hope you have fun tonight.

I sighed, realizing that I had once again proven that I was my own worst enemy. My phone slid back into my pocket, with the intent of keeping it there for the rest of the walk. This time for real.

My phone vibrated again, minutes later. And it took every ounce of will I had to not grab my phone and check it. And while I did manage to achieve that, it hadn’t stopped me from trying to predict what the text said.

Perhaps Ashley was showing me wearing one of the new diapers. Or she was apologizing again. Maybe she was asking me for further advice on how she could go about rubbing my face in her success with my fantasies…

Okay, so maybe I was a little more upset with Ashley than I had cared to admit.

When I finally got into the lobby of the apartment building, I finally checked my phone, completely prepared to scoff at whatever new level of absurdity Ashley and Veronica were delving into.

Except that it wasn’t Ashley, nor was it Veronica.

It was a response from Lucy.

Seven

Lucy: You can bet that I’ll be checking. What I find better not disappoint.

I was suddenly in my apartment again. By the time I realized I was there, I realized that I had no recollection of walking there from the lobby.

Whatever. It didn’t matter. My head was completely fogged by the fact that Lucy had responded to me.

Did this make her more of an actual person?

I had reached a new decision point - a new landmark in whatever path into obsession I was on. Did I respond right away and risk looking desperate? Or did I play it cool and respond later?

My instinct was to hold tight and not just respond immediately. In a few hours, maybe. Or tomorrow.

But, did that actually make sense? We were, afterall, talking about online dating. Or...online kink partner finding. There were far more of me - horny men with few options - than there were of people like her. She could be humoring messages from any number of people simultaneously. And with every second I waited, I could just be giving her the opportunity to build a connection with Rod. Or Lucas. Or Jane. Or...who knows.

I put my groceries away, including all but one bottle of my beer, which I opened and poured into a glass.

It was one of those moments in any long-term relationship when you could hear your partner talking to you as if they were there: You’re going to dirty a glass when you could just drink it out of the bottle?

It certainly didn’t stop me. I filled my glass and took a seat to re-read Lucy’s message.

You can bet that I’ll be checking. What I find better not disappoint.

I thought carefully about how I wanted to respond. Should I send a picture? I could see myself slipping into a diaper, using it, and then sending it off to her for judgment.

God, no. That was an absolutely terrible idea.

I started typing: Come over and see for yourself…

I erased it. Trying again:

Me: I won’t let you down. I suspect you’re not someone I’d want to disappoint.

I had no idea if that was true or not, but it sounded good. I stared at my message for a few moments, debating on if this was the best response I could come up with. Ultimately, I was afraid that the more I thought about it, the less genuine it would be. I needed to trust my gut - but not the part of my gut that wanted to send a picture of my diaper to her.

Send.

And it was back to waiting around. I took a few deep breaths. Once upon a time I had taken up meditation. I never got a lot out of it, but I stuck with it far longer than I thought I would - perhaps in the hopes that one day it would pay off. It didn’t. But, one thing I did get out of it was the ability to center myself. A few deep and clarifying breaths was sometimes all it took.

Breathe in. Breathe out.

Okay, good to go. I would just drink this beer, find something to watch on the tube and then later I’d get something to eat and…

My phone vibrated. A new message from Lucy.

Well fuck. How about that?

I was happy to see a slightly longer message from her this time. Without even reading it, this felt like progress.

Lucy: I’m sure you spend lots of time in a dirty diaper. I’m not too concerned about it being a waste of my time. But potty-pants aside - how are you? Doing anything with yourself this weekend? Actually, no, potty-pants included.

I laughed out loud. Her response wasn’t actually hilarious, per se. But it charmed the hell out of me. It felt like a victory, and I badly needed one.

The hell with waiting any amount of time before responding.

Me: You know, it’s been a minute since I was in a diaper. Maybe I should rectify that? Otherwise, it’s been a quiet weekend.

I wanted to mention Veronica somehow. My profile did state that I was married and in an open relationship. It was far more complicated than that, of course, but that was certainly the most basic version of that story. Still, I felt the need to reiterate that. Just in case she hadn’t read it. I could think of nothing more soul-crushing at that moment than building a rapport with her only for her to balk at me being a married man.

Me: My partner is away today, so I’m just enjoying some alone time. How are you? What are you up to this weekend?

“Partner” was a strange choice of word. I could’ve - should’ve - just used “wife” instead, but partner had a slight mystique about it that just sounded...better.

I hit send.

Somewhere above me, I heard a single “thump.” It wasn’t uncommon to hear the occasional stray noise from the apartments near ours. We were always thankful that our neighbors weren’t especially loud. But knowing that the noise was coming from Ashley’s apartment - where her and Veronica were doing god-knows-what - didn’t sit well with me. What choice did I have but to assume the worst?

Above me, I imagined, Ashley had just tackled Veronica to the ground, and she was now pinning her down while she wore only a diaper. She was bending down over and over again to land little kisses on Veronica’s face.

Fuck, that was turning me on a little bit.

Maybe it was best not to think about it, lest my imagination run away from me.

Saved by the vibration, a new message from Lucy.

Lucy: Well if you haven’t been in a diaper yet today, and you have the time and privacy, I’m not sure what you’re waiting for.

My heart fluttered.

Lucy: But it's been a quiet weekend for me too. But that's far from a bad thing.

I had to pause and be real with myself. I did not know Lucy. 80% of what I knew of her - perhaps more than that - was what I had imagined of her in my fantasies. It was absolutely exhilarating to have her suggest that I go put on a diaper right now - just as it would have been if it was anyone else.

Breathe in. Breathe out.

Okay, good. With that out of my system, I stood and laughed again. Goddamn I felt really good. And you know what? I immediately went to the bedroom, fished a diaper out of the closet and proceeded to put it on.

I had left my pants in the bedroom. For a brief moment, I thought: well, I certainly don’t need these right now. But I could just see Veronica, or Ashley, bursting through the door at any moment without warning. It’d be best to keep my pants close.

With that out of the way.

Me: I don’t want to say that I did it just because you suggested that I did, but I suddenly find myself in a diaper. Funny how a little encouragement works sometimes. You claim to be a switch in your profile - does this mean you have your moments in diapers yourself?

I sat back down on the couch. No matter how many times in my life I would wear a diaper, the feeling of moving around in one never ceased to feel new and different to me. Just wearing a diaper was sometimes exciting enough.

Another noise from upstairs. Maybe something heavy being dragged across the floor? Just ignore it.

At no point since I had returned home from the store did I feel like I needed to go to the bathroom. Now, with the diaper on, I could feel little aches in my bladder. This was what usually happened. Something about a diaper just triggered the part of my brain that needed to use it as soon as possible.

Not now. Not yet. I wanted to savor this moment - just sitting here in my thick diaper.

A new message from Lucy appeared. The diaper had helped considerably in easing the wait between her messages. Though, it wasn’t like I had to wait long. We both seemed to be ready and waiting for each other’s messages right now.

Lucy: Was it really that easy to get you into a diaper? Some people like to put up a little bit of a fight - even if it's just a front. But not you, I guess.

My cheeks were flushed. I had been called out and exposed.

Lucy: I do consider myself a switch in some regards. Not so much with diapers. I’ve tried them, and while I never minded wearing them, I think I’ve had much more fun when I got to put someone else into them. Your partner? Do they like to play with you?

Oof. Her question took some wind out of my sails, though certainly not enough to derail the headspace I was enjoying as I chatted with her in my diaper.

Me: I wish I had something more witty to say - but...I suppose, deep down, I knew that I needed to be in a diaper and I was waiting for someone else to notice. My partner is, I think, well aware of the things that I like. But alas, that’s not something we do with each other.

But with our neighbors, on the other hand… I opted to leave that part out of my response.

Me: Do you have any other partners? Any other babies you’re keeping in diapers, perhaps?

My bladder seemed to yearn a little bit more for a release. Not yet.

Lucy: Maybe I do have a knack for finding the babies most in need of being reminded that they are, in fact, babies. As for me...no partners or babies on my end these days. I’m fresh out of a relationship, actually, so I’ve just been poking around the online dating pool to see what's out there. A lot of babies, apparently. Whether they’re willing to admit it or not.

It seemed like a dig on men on more vanilla dating platforms too, though this was just speculation on my part. I couldn’t decide if her recent breakup was a good thing or a bad thing for me.

Me: I’d like to think that all men are apt to regress at the sound of their mommy’s voice.

Lucy: Ha, perhaps. Meanwhile, the other half of men - who need no assistance in being babies - are all in my inbox right now.

Me: And yet I’ve somehow managed to rise to the top for your attention? How did I manage to stumble into your good graces?

Lucy: It’s not as hard as you think. Full sentences. Good spelling. No pictures of your dirty diaper that I didn’t ask for.

I was now completely elated that I had talked myself out of doing that earlier.

Me: Are there really that few of us?

Lucy: Oh, you’d be surprised.

Me: Maybe not, actually…

Lucy: I guess I should be upfront. I don’t know what I’m looking for. I’m not sure what I can commit to. I keep telling myself that I’m not just looking for a rebound, but… there’s a chance that I might be.

Me: If it helps, I’m not really sure what I’m looking for either.

Lucy: What brings you here, then?

Don’t say revenge. Don’t say revenge.

Me: Revenge.

Lucy: That sounds...complicated.

Me: I was kidding, mostly. My wife and I are currently exploring an open relationship. She’s found someone and has encouraged me to do the same. So, here I am. Mingling. Getting my feet wet.

Lucy: If I’m being honest, if I wasn’t in the position I’m in now, that would probably trigger some warning bells.

Me: Oh? Why so?

Lucy: I dunno. “Exploring” an open relationship? Looking for someone under duress while your partner is already seeing someone? It feels like a situation that could potentially crash and burn, hurting whoever it is you manage to meet.

Me: Oh...yeah, I suppose you’re right.

Lucy: But… I’m in a strange position right now. Maybe I want to take stupid chances. And maybe if things do escalate to the crashing and burning stage, I can just get into an escape pod and take off.

Me: So are you...committing to not committing?

Lucy: Maybe? But we shouldn’t worry about that. Let’s worry about you.

Me: Me? What about me?

Lucy: Well, for one, your diaper? How’s it holding up?

There was another little flutter in my chest. My heart was pounding a little bit more.

Me: Oh, that. It’s dry right now.

Lucy: A shame.

Me: But...only because I’ve been holding it. I could use it. I should probably use it.

Lucy: Holding? That’s a silly thing to do. Babies don’t do that. And you are a baby, aren’t you?

I had to take a deep breath. I wondered if I should pinch myself. Was this happening? Even though it was just words on a screen, I had never been spoken to like this outside of my fantasies.

Me: Well, I don’t know about that…

Lucy: You’re wearing a diaper, aren’t you?

Me: I am.

Lucy: Case closed, Baby. Now, why don’t you go and wet yourself. I don’t want to hear from you again until you have. I’ll wait.

I put down the phone. Then I picked it back up again and re-read her message. Then I went back and re-read our entire conversation.

This was incredible and I was feeling invigorated in ways I had never felt before. Whoever she was, I was under her spell.

Did I need to stand? Should I be sitting? It was like I had forgotten how to piss myself.

Standing. No, squatting.

That felt like the right position. My bladder definitely needed to release, but I had so much anticipation for this moment that I was finding it hard to actually release.

C’mon…

My phone vibrated again. Strange, I thought she said she wasn’t going to message me again until I had…

I glanced at the screen. It wasn’t a new message from Lucy. It was a text from Veronica.

Veronica: I hope you don’t mind, but we’re coming back down to our place for a little bit. We want to play with makeup.

Veronica’s pack-rat approach to her makeup hobby had driven me crazy in the past. Expensive pallets of eyeliners and pricey lipsticks that were used once or twice before being cast into a drawer of her vanity - never to be seen again. It should’ve been of little surprise that this hobby would find new ways to frustrate me now.

Me to Veronica: Of course. See you here.

Veronica: Put your pants on before we get there.

She was teasing - I sincerely hoped she was just teasing - but that really was exactly what I needed to do. I quickly debated whether or not I should ditch the diaper too.

No, no. Don’t do that. Somewhere, Lucy was waiting for a report on what I had done, and I wasn’t about to let Veronica get in the way of this too.

I pulled up my pants with just seconds to spare, as the door opened and the two entered. Ashley was wearing that adorably infantile pinafore dress she had shown off the other day. Veronica already had Ashley’s hair in pigtails and, perhaps, some blush on her cheeks? Or, she was just blushing.

“We’ll be out of your way in just a moment,” Veronica said as she marched past me and into the bedroom.

“Can I get either of you anything to drink?” I asked.

“I’m good,” Veronica said from the bedroom. “Ashley?”

“Maybe some water for me,” she said. She hadn’t stepped into the bedroom yet.

I poured her a glass and set it on the table.

“How are you?” she asked.

“Good,” I said with a smile. “And you?”

“I’m…uh… Can you tell that I’m wearing a diaper?”

I stepped back. The dress was on the shorter side, but it’s shape managed to disguise whatever was happening under it pretty well.

I shook my head.

“Good,” she said. “Veronica doesn’t know yet.”

I nodded. Breathe in. Breathe out.

“Are...you wearing a diaper?” she asked.

“H-how did you know?”

“Oh,” she said with a giggle. “I didn’t actually know. I was just asking.”

I felt my cheeks grow warm. I wondered how the color of mine compared to hers.

“Cute,” she added. “Look at us diaper babies. Ah well, you have fun. I’ve got to go play with makeup with…” She stumbled over her words for a moment - likely about to say the m-word. “...Veronica. Talk to you later?”

“Of course,” I said. “Have fun.”

Without even thinking about it, I began to wet myself as she walked away - the slightest hint of her poofy bottom showing through the bouncing fabric of her dress.

Eight.

Me to Lucy: That’s that. I’m sitting in one very soggy diaper. I guess that means you can talk to me again?

A few minutes passed while I waited for her response. It seemed only fair, given that she had to wait for me. Still - after the rapid-fire chatting we had earlier, even a minute felt like a year.

My attention was split. I would look down at my phone, trying to conjure a response from Lucy. Then, my eyes would dart across the room to the closed bedroom door.

On the other side of that door, Ashley was wearing a diaper. And the most ridiculously cute outfit. And her hair was in pigtails. Fucking pigtails. And Veronica was putting makeup on her. And Veronica either knew, or didn’t yet know, about the diaper.

Though, honestly, how could she not?

I wondered how Veronica would react to the diapers. For so long, I had just assumed that Veronica was uninterested in them - mostly because of my own failed attempt at bringing them into our relationship. But, given everything else that Ashley had been wearing, diapers seemed like a completely natural fit and the obvious next step.

And so, what did I do with that?

I sighed and looked at my phone again. Nothing yet.

There was giggling from the other side of the door. I so badly wanted to see what was happening over there. I wanted to be a part of that.

My phone vibrated, finally. In the nick of time too, as it saved me from sliding into a slightly moodier headspace.

Lucy: It took you long enough. Stage fright?

Interestingly, yes? Among other things - not that she needed to know those details at the moment.

Me: Maybe a little bit. But it's all out now.

Lucy: Good boy. Does it make you wish someone was there to check your diaper? To change you?

Me:  I’m sure you can guess the answer to that.

Lucy: If it makes you feel any better, it’s something I miss, too. It’s been a while since I changed a big baby’s diaper.

Me: Your ex? The one you recently broke up with?

Lucy: Not him, no. That wasn’t his thing. Probably a good thing, too. I’d have left him stewing in his diapers until he got a rash.

Me: Wow. Maybe the worst fate. Was he that bad?

Lucy: No, probably not, ha. We said some mean things to each other while in the midst of breaking up. I guess, at the end of the day, I hope that he finds happiness. But for now I’m still a little miffed with him.

Me: What about you? Are you happy?

Lucy: Happier, at the very least. Getting there. Are you? Happy?

That was a challenging question, and not one I expected to have to answer today.

I was pondering how I’d respond to that when the bedroom door opened and closed again. I looked over to see only Veronica.

She walked to the kitchen, placing two tumblers down before pulling a bottle of riesling from the wine rack to fill both.

“How’s it going?” I asked.

She made a noise. Maybe it was a “hmm” and maybe it was a more annoyed grunt, but I couldn’t exactly make it out.

“It’s good,” she finally said. She was smiling, but I knew her well enough to look past the smile. Something was weighing on her mind.

“Is...everything okay?”

“Did you know about this?” she asked.

“Know about...what?”

“Her diaper?”

I instinctively blushed just hearing the word exit her mouth.

“I...I don’t know what you mean.”

She grinned a little. I wasn’t sure that she bought that. “I don’t think I’m supposed to know,” she said. “But how could I not?”

I shrugged. I’d have offered her reassurance that I knew nothing about it, but that would’ve been a lie - and I think she would’ve seen right through it. As it was, I suspected she assumed I knew more than I was letting on.

“Are you upset about it?” I asked.

“Upset? No.”

“Then what?”

She laughed, placing the wine bottle down on the counter. She turned and began walking towards me. I don’t think she intended to come off as intimidating, but with no idea what she was doing, I found myself on edge.

Standing before me, she gently reached down and tapped my crotch. There was a telltale “thap-thap-thap” sound. The sound of tapping on a thick wet diaper.

“I’m surrounded by babies, it seems. Perhaps I was wrong not to see the appeal much sooner?”

She spun on her heel and returned to the kitchen, grabbing the two glasses of wine. She gave me one last glance - a knowing smile - and disappeared back into the bedroom. The door shut behind her.

What in the hell was that? I asked myself. How did she know that I was wearing a diaper? A lucky guess? Could she tell? Well, if she couldn’t before, she certainly knew now.

I plopped back down on the couch, landing on my wet diaper with an audible splat. For a few minutes, all I could do was sit there and try to process what had just occurred.

I remembered that I needed to get back to Lucy. Thanks in part to a portion of my brain being reserved to continue pondering my interaction with Veronica, I found my words to be a little more blunt as I typed.

Me: You know...I’m not really sure. Sometimes I just think I’m complacent. I could be happier.

I didn’t have to wait long for a response.

Lucy: Complacent. Yeah, I get that. I think that’s a good description for the relationship I just got out of. We were just going through the motions. So long as nobody thought too hard about things, it seemed fine. We could look past the issues, because they didn’t seem like roadblocks everyday.

I sighed. That felt way too familiar.

Lucy: Not to be a downer, of course. I don’t want to ruin the soggy diaper vibes.

I laughed, reaching down to jostle the front of my diaper. It sloshed around a little. Breathe in. Breathe out. It had certainly been a weird afternoon - but that didn’t make it a bad one.

Me: Oh you couldn’t ruin that if you wanted to.

Lucy: I can assure you that I don’t want to. Still enjoying the house to yourself in your diaper, baby?

I couldn’t even help but blush - I practically giggled - at her calling me “baby.”

Me: I’m no longer alone. But that hasn’t stopped me from sitting around in my diaper.

Lucy: Don’t leak.

Me: I think this one has a little more room in it.

Lucy: So you like diapers. And I like that you like diapers. Things are looking good in that regard. Maybe we should see if there’s anything else about each other that we like?

Me: Diapers aren’t enough?

I was being sarcastic - but it was hard to tell how these sorts of things translated via written messages.

Lucy: They might be. But it would be neat if there was more too. Like...avocados? Yay or nay?

Me: I feel pretty good about avocados.

Lucy: Me too. See? Look at this deeper connection we have now.

I smiled. It was hard to stay as realistic as I wanted to be. She could be anyone. She could easily not be who she claimed to be. Even if Lucy was the grossly exaggerated version of someone real, it still wouldn’t be the same. But still...I was enchanted.

Me: Music?

Lucy: A passion of mine.

I swooned. I guess that was all I needed to know. I usually liked to ask about favorite bands and favorite genres and all that. But the older I got, the easier it was to just appreciate that people were passionate about the things that I was passionate about, regardless of whether or not the specific tastes were the same.

Lucy: But if you need me to be more specific, I’m listening to the Talking Heads right now while I write to you.

Swoon-on-swoon. It wasn’t really an answer to any actual questions - real or assumed on either of our parts - but it was everything I needed to hear. We had a contender for The Coolest Woman Who Had Ever Lived.

Me: I think we should meet up sometime soon.

Lucy: I’d like that. Wednesday?

Me: Yes, absolutely.

Wednesday worked. Tuesday worked. Thursday worked. I would’ve answered the same no matter what day she had said. If I had plans, I would’ve cancelled them.

The bedroom door opened again. I quickly let my phone fall to my side. I wasn’t sure why I felt like I needed to hide anything, but between my conversation with Lucy and the escalating absurdness in the bedroom, I felt on edge.

It was Ashley this time. She was doing her best to straighten out her short dress. Whatever was happening in there moments ago had left her clothes and hair in a slightly tousled state.

She opened her mouth to address me, but she had no words. She gave up, offering only a bashful grin - a big dumb smile cutting through her bright pink face. As quickly as she exited the bedroom, she skipped across the apartment and disappeared out the front door.

Peculiar.

It was only after the front door had closed that Veronica exited the bedroom too. She was also straightening herself out a little, though whereas Ashley looked nervous and excited, Veronica looked only smug.

“Everything all right in there?” I asked.

My phone vibrated at my side.

“Oh, yes,” Veronica said, looking as if my question returned her to Earth from wherever she was. “Ashley had to go back upstairs. She forgot something.”

I narrowed my eyes.

“What?” she asked, answering my look with faux-ignorance.

I didn’t say anything. I didn’t know what I wanted to say. I wanted to complain, maybe even rant. I wanted her to know how unfair all of this had felt.

“Fine,” she added, clearly taking my inability to say anything as further coercion. “If you must know, we were fooling around and I just so...happened to stumble upon her diaper. It’s very wet, if you must know. But not to worry, she’s fetching a fresh one.”

It hardly mattered, because I was at a loss for words anyways, but I bit my tongue regardless.  That tidbit hit hard, right in the gut.

“Have I said too much?” Veronica asked. I honestly couldn’t tell if she was asking that sincerely, or if she was still trying to fluster me.

If she was, it was definitely working.

“It’s all just...strange to me,” I said at last. No lies there.

“I suppose it would be,” she said. “It’s strange for me too.”

I nodded.

“Would you believe me if I said that it wasn’t personal?” she asked.

“I’m not sure I know what you mean,” I said.

“This...all of this. Everything between me and Ashley. The flirting and the dating and the kink things and...all of it. I’m not doing it to hurt you. This isn’t some game. I’m...genuinely enjoying the things I’m doing with her.”

I sighed. I wanted to believe her. But even if that was true, I didn’t know if that made me feel better or worse.

“I’m going to be meeting someone this week,” I said. I just kind of blurted it out without really thinking about it.

She paused, her contentedness fading a little.

“I just thought you should know,” I added.

“Okay,” she said. Then she nodded, repeating: “Okay.”

“Are you upset?” I asked.

“Surprised is all,” she replied. “I told you to do this. Hell, I expected you to do this too. But...I don’t know. Hearing you say that… It just feels different when it's real as opposed to just being a thought in my mind.”

“That makes two of us then,” I said.

“I hope you enjoy yourself,” she said. It sounded sincere, and her smile was growing again. She was letting her happy smug vibes wash over herself again.

She calmly strutted back into the bedroom without another word, leaving the door cracked open.

As quickly as she was back in the bedroom, Ashley burst through the front door again. She didn’t even make an attempt at subtlety, with a folded fresh diaper clutched in her hands as she rushed across the apartment and into the bedroom, the door closing behind her.

I wondered if anyone in the halls had seen her running around with a diaper in her hands.

I took a look at my phone.

Lucy: You’re going to wear a diaper on our date, yes?

Me: If you’d like me to.

Lucy: I insist.

I sighed and let myself relax a little. Somewhere behind me, in the bedroom, all of my fantasies were coming true for other people. But maybe I wasn’t too far from my own chance at that, and I was feeling pretty good about it.

Nine.

It was 7:30 PM on the dot, and we both arrived at Maxwell’s at the same time. We had anticipated our first meeting being at the bar - a moment we had predicted would be a little awkward due to the lingering question of whether or not I had actually worn a diaper to our date.

But we practically ran into each other on the sidewalk in front, and with a quick glance in all directions to confirm that we were out of range of curious eyes, Lucy chose her first words to me carefully:

“Are you going to spin around so I can determine if you’re wearing a diaper or not?”

I felt my cheeks flare. “Here?”

“It’s either here or inside Maxwell’s. I’m going to guess you’d rather have me check here.”

I nodded, spinning around to face away from her without another word. She quickly pulled open the back of my pants and took a peek to see what was there. She wouldn’t be disappointed. With a single smack to my ass, the sound of the plastic padding ringing clear, her inspection was complete.

Spinning back to face her again, I had a more ample chance to get a look at her. And she looked amazing. More importantly - I felt that the photos on her online profile had done her justice. Her shapely body. Her thick brown hair that seemed to explode in every direction. Those lips.

She simply seemed too amazing to be real.

“You’re cute,” she said, beating me to saying it first.

It might have come off as some sort of bashful aw shucks act, but my reaction was genuine. “Oh I don’t know…”

“Boys are notoriously terrible at taking selfies for dating profiles,” she said.

“You’re probably not wrong,” I said. I liked that she used ‘boys’ instead of ‘men.’

“Let’s get some drinks,” she said with a smile. “I’m thirsty.”

“Yeah...me too.”

Did she wink at me? I swore that she winked at me.

“When we go in, do I ask them for a baby bottle for you?”

“Are you going to do this all night?” I asked.

“Oh, most likely.”

I was really happy to have heard that.

I followed her inside, and she found some seats at the far end of the bar. The place was far from busy, and so it felt like our seats were practically in a private room. Probably for the best.

We ordered some drinks. I went with a Maker’s manhattan in the hopes that she’d be impressed by my classically manly taste.

Instead, she asked me, in front of the pretty young woman tending the bar: “Are you sure? Not a sippy cup of milk? Some apple juice.”

The bartender seemed willing to accept that it was just an in-joke that she wasn’t privy to, but there was no doubt that she could see the humiliation Lucy’s words had caused me. Thankfully she laughed it off and prepared the more adult beverage I actually requested.

“You’re a handful, I see,” I said to her.

“Just having fun,” she said. “But what about you? Are you a handful?”

It was a surprisingly hard question to answer. Most of my diaper-baby fantasies had only ever taken place in my mind.

“Can I be honest with you?” I asked.

“I’d prefer that,” she said with a smile.

“I’ve never been...a baby. For someone else.”

She shrugged and nodded, showing no concern for this whatsoever. “Well then I think you should have that experience at least once. Don’t you?”

I nodded. “But… Not with just anyone, you know? I dunno. I guess I could’ve paid for whatever it was I wanted at any point. But I didn’t want that to be my experience.”

“I should be upfront with you,” Lucy said, sipping her just-delivered daiquiri, “people have paid me in the past for just that sort of thing.”

I nodded. I braced myself for the wind to be completely taken from of my sails. She was perfect in every way...for the right price?

“I’m not looking for clients,” she added - probably seeing the look on my face. I could tell that she had more to say about it, but I let it go. I had just learned a bit about her, and none of it upset me.

“I don’t know what I’m looking for,” I said. “If we’re being upfront. Yeah, I guess it would be nice to meet this amazing person who checked off all the boxes and was a kink-lord of some sort, but...I don’t know. I feel like whatever I’m chasing...I wouldn’t know what to do with it when I got it.”

“That’s not the worst thing,” Lucy said. “It just means you’re willing to put yourself out there. Experiment and try new things, right?”

I nodded. “Yeah.” I had never thought about it like that, and I appreciated how she helped me see it differently.

“I’m in a similar predicament,” she said. “The thought of another long term relationship is just exhausting to me. But, you know, if you throw a word like ‘casual’ around, suddenly everyone wants to treat you like a disposable fuck doll.”

“Guys are the worst,” I muttered.

“Oh, it’s not just guys though. Everyone does it.”

“You’re…”

“Bi? Yeah,” she said with a nod. “Are you straight?”

“Curious, at most,” I said honestly. I had no experience nor previous encounters that I could use as evidence for such a claim, but surely pure curiosity counted for something.

“Anything in particular that you’re curious about?” The little grin on her face suggested that she just wanted to make me say the words. I liked it.

“Oh...I’m sure my curiosities run the gamut from the most mild of interactions to…”

“Getting bent over so that a cock could slide into your bottom?”

I blushed, quickly taking a drink of my cocktail to shake off how flustered I had become.

“I’m teasing, I’m teasing,” she said with a laugh. “I have to admit. It’s kind of cute to watch you get all antsy.

“This is nothing,” I said. “I can get real antsy.”

Her fingers tip-tapped their way across the bar’s counter towards my arm, and when she reached it, she let her fingertips gently glide over my skin. My arm hair stood on end and I felt goosebumps rise across my body.

“So, the married life, huh?”

“It’s something,” I replied.

“You used the word ‘complacent’ the other day. It doesn’t exactly instil a feeling of confidence in your marriage.”

I was more blunt about the topic than I thought I’d be: “She’s seeing our neighbor - another woman. And she’s - our neighbor - she’s...incredible. And...I don’t know. Maybe if it was any other woman in the world I’d feel better about it. But this woman…”

“So you wish it was you?” Lucy said with a shrug. She was either very perceptive, or my tone and wording had made it incredibly obvious.

“Yeah.”

“What’s that quote?” Lucy asked, as if speaking to herself. “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take?”

Lucy might have been right about everything else, but the situation with Ashley was more complicated than that. The diapers and the ageplay with Veronica and...the fact that we had made out that one night. I had somehow almost forgotten about it, and the very thought of it while in the bar still managed to get my heart pumping a little faster.

“I think that quote is missing a key piece of logic,” I said.

“Oh?”

“You don’t want to take every shot, right? Not every shot is worth taking.”

“Hmm,” she hummed, barely concealing a smile. “I’m not sure you get the spirit of the original quote. But that was cute, I’ll give you that.”

“You’ve alluded to having cared for some babies in the past,” I said, hoping to change the topic.

“A few.”

“And how did that come to be?”

She smirked. “Someone took a shot.”

“Care to elaborate?”

“I’ve always been a very ‘try-anything-once’ kinda gal, you know? I wear that on my sleeve. It tends to attract people whose interests fall a little outside of the norm. Or, maybe, I just have the personality that helps put them at ease enough to talk about these sorts of things.”

“Could be both,” I said.

“For sure,” Lucy said. “And so I was seeing this guy. Francis. He just sort of unloads all this on me one night. I think he had bad experiences in the past with telling girlfriends that he wore diapers and it had always ended poorly, you know? So this was an attempt at being upfront with me. Except he didn’t work it into a natural conversation. We were just watching Jeopardy and suddenly he was telling me about how he wanted to crawl around in a diaper.”

“Wow. So...how did you react to it?”

“I was like ‘Ok cool. Let’s do it.’”

“It was that easy?”

“I’m exaggerating a tiny bit, but yeah. At the end of the day, I was either going to be curious about it or reject it. And it was new to me, so I wanted to see how it played out.”

“And how did that go?”

“I loved it,” she said. “Absolutely loved it. I was like a pig in mud. It just fit me, you know?”

I nodded. I liked hearing her say that.

“We broke up. Not because of that. Just other incompatibilities, I guess. But he kept reaching out to me. And it wasn’t because he wanted to get back together again.”

It seemed obvious to me: “Because he wanted you to treat him like a baby.”

She nodded. “Basically. And, I don’t know, that doesn’t seem like the kind of thing you can do for just anyone - let alone an ex, you know? But I wanted to experience that mommy role again. So I tossed out the idea of him paying me for it. And he went for it. From there, I guess a little side hustle was born.”

“But you like doing it. Still?”

“Oh yes,” she said. “Love it. Except, now, I’d like to do it with someone I actually had a stronger connection to.”

I felt myself blushing. I wasn’t even sure why. We certainly didn’t have that connection yet - even if I so badly wanted it. Maybe it was just the fact that the possibility seemed real.

She reached across my leg under the bar counter, feeling the padded bulge between my legs. “How are you doing in there anyways?”

“Fine… Good.” I felt myself grasping for the response she might be looking for. “Dry.”

“Still? That’s a shame.”

I laughed - my cheeks had to have been a deep magenta color at this point. “Did you really expect me to wet myself here at the bar? In front of you?”

“Yes.”

Her answer didn’t surprise me, but I admired her blunt retort.

“How many more drinks will it take to make that easier for you?” she asked.

“More drinks would certainly make it easier,” I said. “But I could do it without the assistance.”

“Well then, you just tell me when you’re going to go.”

“You want me to...tell you?”

“Absolutely,” she said with a nod. “The moment it's happening, I think you should tell me so.”

“Okay,” I said. It was hard not to smile. I was feeling a little giddy - I never had someone talk to me like this - about this - before.

As effortlessly as she had got us talking about diapers people who were treated like babies, she steered us to lighter topics. The best tacos in the city. Rainy day music. Her love of clowns vs. my hatred of them. The best Kubrick movie.

We clicked, and it felt like we just kept clicking with every new topic. Even when we didn’t agree on something, it felt like a bonding opportunity anyways, with each of us eager to hear the other out on why they disagreed.

Somewhere in the middle of a lively discussion about the preferred preparation of eggs, I interrupted her with a very important statement:

“I...I’m wetting myself. Right now.”

“I don’t suppose you brought a change of diapers with you, hm?”

“No…”

“How unfortunate.”

“If I had, you would’ve...changed me?”

“I’d have wanted to,” she said with a nod. “I’d have wanted to put you up on this bar counter and change your diaper right here in front of anyone who’d care to watch. But, also, I was just more concerned about your bottom. It might be a while before you go home. I hope you don’t get a rash.”

My imagination was drowning with visions of what she had just described. I was sure that she was just speaking hypothetically. Right? Her comments about diaper rash drifted right over my head.

“Maybe next time,” she added.

“You think there should be a next time?”

“I’d like there to be,” she said. “Wouldn’t you?”

I nodded. “Yes. Very much so.”

“And you’ll wear diapers again for me?”

“If I’m being honest, I’d probably do just about anything you told me to.” I didn’t mean to blurt out such a desperate thing. But her laugh suggested that she didn’t think too negatively of it.

“Be careful. That’s a dangerous thing to tell me.”

I decided to roll with it and double down. “Try me sometime.”

“Don’t play games you’re not prepared to lose,” she said. “I’m feeling pretty confident I could have you squatting down next to my barstool while you push a big mess into your soggy diaper.”

I laughed, but she had definitely deflated me a little. I wasn’t sure which concerned me more: that she’d actually request such a thing of me - or that if told to do it, I probably would.

“Okay, you win,” I said.

“Oh, but you win too.”

She was certainly right about that.

Another round of cocktails was delivered. We teetered back and forth between talking about kinky things and more everyday things.

The necessity of coffee in the morning.

Did I ever use a pacifier?

The worst highways in the city.

Enemas.

The last time we actually bought a magazine.

Getting bottle-fed.

Another round arrived. Maybe another after that - though the details got a little fuzzy around that point.

Eventually her hand landed on my crotch to feel my soggy diaper through my pants - and it just remained there after. The conversations got a little less civilized and a little more flirty. Her fingers would occasionally squeeze the lump in my pants playfully.

In a buzzed fog, we kissed each other for a moment on the sidewalk before we split and went in our own directions.

The closer I got to home, the less real the entire night seemed. It was everything I wanted and needed and all I had to show for it were some foggy memories and a sagging diaper.

It was time to go back home to reality. Back to whatever it was that Veronica and Ashley were doing. Back to staring at my phone for the next message from Lucy.

By the time my key was in the door, I was daydreaming about playing with myself while thinking of squatting over the bar’s floor next to Lucy’s barstool as I pushed a firm load into my diaper, regardless of who was watching. I could already feel myself growing stiff from the thought, and I was looking forward to acting on this.

But no sooner than the door was opened, I was faced with Veronica and Ashley on the couch. Smiling. Waiting.

“Welcome home,” Veronica cooed. “You’ll have to tell us everything.”

Ten.

I hadn’t done anything wrong.

I hadn’t done anything wrong, I repeated to myself.

Then why do I feel guilty?

I took a seat on the recliner, facing the smiling faces of my wife and my neighbor. It took everything I had to hold myself together. Breathe in. Breathe out.

“Did you have a good time?” asked Veronica.

I considered downplaying the evening a little. Feign boredom and hoped that it got them off my back.

But that didn’t seem like the right move at all. Veronica certainly got to have her fun, and she never downplayed her time with Ashley. And what if I continued to see Lucy? How long would I be able to convince her that I wasn’t all that interested, despite my repeat meetings with her?

“I did,” I said with a confident nod.

Veronica's smile widened, and it was a tough one to read. Genuine happiness? Snark? Sarcasm? Something else altogether?

Ashley, on the other hand, couldn’t hide her feelings if she wanted to. Her eyes looked like cartoonish hearts and she clutched her chest as if the very topic of romance warmed her soul. It was adorable; frustratingly so.

“I’m happy for you,” Veronica said. It seemed genuine.

“Me too,” Ashley said. “What was her name again?”

“Lucy,” I said.

“She’s cute?” asked Veronica.

I nodded. “I certainly think so.”

“Cuter than Ashley?” Veronica asked next, as she playfully stroked Ashley’s thigh.

“Oh...well…” Ashley was unsure whether to take the compliment or to deflect.

“A different kind of cute, I guess,” I said. Ashley seemed satisfied with that answer and she shot me a warm smile.

“You seem on edge,” Veronica said. “Is this...stressful for you?”

“I guess I just wasn’t prepared to be in the interrogation chair.”

Veronica shrugged. “Foolish on your part, no? Of course we’d want to know everything.”

I quickly debated on what I should tell them. Was there actually any harm in saying everything? No...probably not. But this evening belonged to me, and I didn’t want to see every detail scrutinized by someone else.

Still, I thought I should at least start at the beginning.

“Lucy is…” the words proved harder to say than I expected.

“She is...what? A good dancer? Flirty?”

I spit it out: “She’s into ageplay as well.”

I cherished these little moments. It wasn’t a vindictive feeling, I just liked these opportunities where I could catch Veronica off guard. She didn’t look upset by this revelation, but she didn’t look happy either. Clearly she needed to chew on this a little longer.

“Well,” Ashley said, quick to fill in the silence left by Veronica, “I think that’s super!”

As per usual, Ashley’s delight filled the room with warmth. It put me at ease and I could see that it had even allowed Veronica the chance to catch her breath again.

“This is good for you,” Veronica said. I truly believed she meant that. “I trust that she’ll be a...mommy, of sorts, for you? I mean...you’re no daddy.”

Ashley held a hand up to her mouth and giggled behind her hand.

“Oh...well...you know we just met. And it’s not like you can just...instantly jump into roles and know where everyone fits into a scene and…”

“She’s going to be your new mommy, isn’t she?” Veronica asked again, finding the energy to once again put me under her thumb.

“Y-yes.”

Both girls laughed enthusiastically.

“Well, should the two of you get more acclimated,” Veronica said, “perhaps we should all arrange a little...double date?”

“Ohhh,” Ashley said, glee filling her eyes. “A play date!”

“Now wouldn’t that be something, Jaime? You and little Ashley, crawling about on the floor together in your diapers while we Mommies watched you?”

I couldn’t breathe. I could barely think. Veronica had almost immediately weaponized the situation to humiliate me, and it was working exactly as it was intended.

“I...I should go take a shower and lie down,” I said, standing up to excuse myself. “I’ll talk to you later.” I turned to Ashley. “It’s always good seeing you. Have a good night.”

Ashley nodded, nothing but kindness in her eyes. “You too.”

“We’re only teasing,” Veronica reiterated.

“Oh, I know,” I said. “You’re good, I promise. I just...I’m tired.”

In the bedroom, the door closed behind me, I quickly shed my clothes and disposed of my wet diaper before making my way to the bathroom where I got into the shower.

What was I supposed to be touching myself to? Oh right, the thought of squatting next to Lucy’s barstool.

I was stroking myself almost as soon as the water was running, but all I could think about was crawling on the ground with Ashley - both of us in diapers.

--

Lucy: You up?

I was up. I mean, I was down - in bed - on my back, staring up at the ceiling. But I was awake. I had been for an hour or two. Veronica had come to bed a bit ago. She didn’t say much to me - but neither of us had much to say when getting into bed together at night. She had fallen asleep almost immediately. Lucky her.

I was surprised to see my phone light up on the bedside table. Mostly because I usually put my phone into airplane mode before sleep. Her messaging me, and my getting the message seemed serendipitous, even if I didn’t really believe in such things.

Me: I’m up. It’s late, though. What are you doing up?

For a very long four minutes, there was no response. It didn’t show that the message was read. There was no icon to show that she was typing. Just silence. I was beginning to wonder if I was getting a message from earlier in the evening. Was I the crazy one for responding to her this late at night?

Lucy: I was just in bed. Thinking about you.

Me: Me? This late at night? I’d advise against that.

Lucy: I dunno. It doesn’t seem that bad.

Me: I was thinking about you too.

It was kind of a lie. Yes, I was thinking about her. But...likely not the same way she was thinking about me. I wanted to think about her more - especially in the shower - but I got a little...distracted.

Lucy didn’t need to know that.

Lucy: Good. I meant what I said before, you know. About next time? I hope you bring a spare diaper or two. Just in case.

Me: And I meant it when I said that I’d probably do anything you asked me to.

Lucy: Then I’m asking you to see me again this week. With a diaper on. And with spare diapers on hand.

Me: Your wish is my command.

Lucy: That’s just what I’m asking. My wishes are far more complicated.

I felt myself growing erect in my boxers, under the covers. I wondered about which was more likely -  that I was surrounded by women who could control my libido like a puppet - or if it was just me who had no actual resistance to the fancies of pretty women.

Me: You’ll have to elaborate…

Lucy: Hmm. Maybe it is a little later than I thought it was…

Me: Hey, you can’t do that! You can’t get me all worked up and then leave me hanging.

Lucy: Yeah? Did I get you all worked up?

Me: Wait, hold on. I’m asking you to elaborate on your wishes. Don’t go changing the subject.

Lucy: What do I wish? Right now, I wish for you to be lying in my lap, suckling my breast. You’d be wearing a dirty diaper. I’d change it - but not until you’re done breastfeeding.

Me: Do you...lactate?

Lucy: No. Well, not yet. But it’s my wish, right? And maybe it’d be something worth putting the work into for the right baby.

The very thought was too much for me to handle. I pulled my cock from my boxers, running my hand up and down my shaft. I rarely touched myself while in bed while Veronica slept next to me. But tonight? Maybe I’d make an exception.

Me: Okay. Now that’s my wish too.

Lucy: Good. Baby steps, of course. We’ll go out again. I’ll change your diaper.

Me: When?

Lucy: You tell me. Any night. I’ll make it work.

Me: I’ll let you know.

Lucy: You better.

Me: Tell me more about your wish?

Lucy: Oh, I wish I could, baby. But...it looks like it’s time for me to go to bed. Nighty night, good boy.

I turned the phone off, this time putting it into airplane mode. My hand was still on my cock, though, and I wasn’t about to let that go to waste. I started slow and carefully, trying my best not to cause Veronica to wake up. But, the longer I went at it, the harder it got to be so focused. I was thinking about Lucy. Lucy changing my diaper. Lucy breastfeeding me.

“Is there a fucking earthquake or something?”

My head shot to Veronica’s side of the bed, where she had begun to stir.

“Oh...uh, no. Sorry, go back to sleep. I may have been moving around too much or something.”

She rolled over so that she was facing me. In our bed - dimly lit by the moonlight - I could see that her eyes were open and she was assessing the situation.

“Are you seriously lying here next to me while playing with yourself?” she muttered.

“Well...I mean, yes. But...I didn’t mean to wake you up or anything. I was just…”

“Give it to me,” she said.

“I’m sorry?”

Her hand was in my lap, on a mission in the dark to find my erection.

“Put it in my hand,” she said. “I want to feel it.”

I guided her hand to it, nervous about where this was going. Veronica hadn’t touched me like this in...well, it had been a long time. I wasn’t sure that she had ever touched me in bed while half-asleep. I was afraid she’d grip it tightly and rip it off of my body.

Instead, to my relief, she ran her hand up and down in it, as if feeling it again for the first time. Her fingertip slowly assessed every nook and crevice.

“What has you so worked up tonight?” she said. I couldn’t see her face, but I just knew that she was smiling in the darkness.

“Oh...nothing.”

“Your little date, perhaps?”

“I mean…”

Her tone got even softer - almost to a whisper: “Were you thinking about how she’s going to be your new Mommy? And how you’re going to be a very good boy for her?”

“Well...I guess...I…”

I was having trouble speaking; let alone being able to think. As with most things Veronica did, my only thought was: To what end? I wasn’t sure if this was supposed to be teasing me...or something else entirely.

“It’s about time,” Veronica cooed softly, her head drifting a little closer to my ear. She was talking directly into it now. “You were such a patient baby all this time, weren’t you?”

“I...uh...what do you mean?”

“All these years, and your mean ol’ wife wouldn’t put you in a diaper or feed your bottle, would she?”

Her hand gripped my cock harder now as she found a rhythm in her movements up and down my shaft. I had nothing but questions - but I didn’t dare ask them, for fear that she would stop. She hadn’t done this for me in so long. Nobody had.

“No hard feelings, I hope,” she whispered. “As it turned out, I was destined to be a Mommy sooner or later myself. I just needed to meet the right baby girl.”

Fuck. I wasn’t supposed to be thinking about Ashley.

“But I just know that you’re going to be a good baby for… I’m sorry, what was her name again?”

“L-Lucy,” I stammered, the building pressure growing to a fever pitch.

“Ah yes, Lucy,” she said with a little giggle. “I know you’re going to be a good little boy for Lucy.”

“I...yes…”

“But you know what?”

“No…” Of course I didn’t have any idea what else she could have to say. Everything else about this moment seemed to fall far outside of the norm.

“I’ll still own you. And I always will.”

There was just a single moment - an iota of a second - where I tried to wrap my head around what that meant. But the answer came almost immediately after, as her hand had successfully pumped me to completion. Wet spurts landed on my belly and hand in the darkness.

Her voice had returned to its normal tone and volume: “Goodnight, Jaime.” She rolled over, and slowly faded back into a restful sleep again.

My heart thrashed around in my chest and my brain was overloaded with thoughts. What did that mean? What did any of that mean?

I reached to the bedside table, fumbling about for some tissues to clean myself up. Once finished, I let them fall to the floor next to the bed and I allowed my head to sink deeper into my pillow.

Did she really feel like she...owned me? If that was the case, it would have been nice if she took care of her possession a little more.

I had countless questions, and had I a little more energy, maybe I would’ve stayed up later to ponder over them endlessly and hopelessly. Yet my eyes were getting heavy. It was for the best. The last thing I wanted to do was talk myself out of seeing Lucy again.

I would dream that I was just a plastic baby doll, being passed back around in a circle of Veronica, Ashley and Lucy.

Eleven.

There was no mention of that night’s encounter after that. Once more, I could almost convince myself that it hadn’t actually happened and that it was just a dream.

I was haunted by the same feeling after I had first told Veronica about my desire to introduce ageplay to our dynamic. But, like what happened when I told her about ageplay, I worried that one day her ‘handy’ work and comment about owning me would come back to bite me.

Lucy and I had plans again to meet for dinner Wednesday night, and I had just barely been able to keep it together for the early half of the week. I liked Lucy. She was excellent at flirting, and her texts were a near constant source of excitement. No matter the time, and regardless of where I was, I could count on her to make me blush with her words. Despite the fact that we would only be meeting for the second time, things felt like they were ramping up. I think we were  both becoming more open with each other in our texts. We seemed ready. Ready for what, it was hard to say - though it often felt like we were both counting on our connection to be the much-needed outlet for our kinky needs that we both seemed to desperately need.

It seemed a little dangerous, but in a fun way.

Veronica, for her part, had backed off a little. She would ask little questions now and then about how things were going with Lucy, or she’d ask about our plans - but she barely needed details. I wondered if this was harder for her than she thought it’d be.

Or...if it was just easier to divert even more attention to Ashley.

Speaking of, Ashley became a near constant-presence in our apartment. She was beginning to seem less like a neighbor and more like a roommate. A roommate that I wanted to fuck. A roommate that I wanted to sit on my chest while they filled their diaper and…

Well, I had a lot of feelings about Ashley. Even with the presence of Lucy in my life, I could never quite ‘get over’ Ashley.

“Big date tonight, hmm?” Ashley asked. I had just come home from working in the office, and she was sitting at the kitchen table drinking some water and reading her phone.

“I...well, yeah,” I said. “Is...Veronica here?”

“No, she had some sort of business function downtown,” she said.

I wanted to ask her what she was doing in our apartment alone, but I could never have brought myself to actually ask. To her credit, she seemed to suss out my need for that answer herself.

“I hope you don’t mind that I’m here,” she said. “I get kind of lonely upstairs. Even when you guys aren’t here, I don’t feel as alone here.”

“Oh,” I said. It both did and didn’t make sense to me.

“Veronica said it was okay,” she added. “In fact - it was her idea. She gave me a key.”

“Is that so?” I wasn’t upset, but I wondered what else Veronica would be willing to do without talking to me first.

“So, big date,” she said, trying to clear the awkwardness from the room. Either she was oblivious to my lingering questions on Veronica giving her a key - or she was well aware and didn’t want to be the one to have that talk with me. I could certainly respect that. “Excited?”

I sighed. I wasn’t ever going to be able to give her the cold shoulder. “I am,” I said. “Quite excited, actually.”

“Are you going to wear a...diaper?”

I felt myself blushing a little. I wondered how much I should say.

“Well...we talked about that a little…”

“I think you should,” she said, her lips twisting into a naughty grin.

“You think so?”

“Oh, for sure. She is going to be a mommy-type for you, right?”

I shrugged. Yes, she was absolutely right, but I was trying to be a little coy about it. “I suppose that might be part of the long-term plans. Should we get there.”

“It’d be cute,” she said. “It’s like a statement, right? You’re saying: ‘This is how much I trust you.’”

“So you’d wear a diaper on your second date?” I asked.

“Well....I’m new to diapers,” she said, laughing. “And Vee and I…” her voice trailed off as she thought it over a little bit more. “Actually, yeah. I guess I would. I mean, it won’t be our second date, but next time we go out again, I’d definitely wear a diaper whether she asked me to or not.”

Of course she would, I thought. She’s so perfectly...baby.

“You’ve convinced me,” I said.

“Yeah?”

I nodded. “Yeah. I’ll wear a diaper tonight.”

She clutched her hands to her face and giggled a little. “That’s going to be so fun!”

I’d let her think this was her idea. She didn’t need to know that this had practically been decided during the first night Lucy and I met.

“Will you show me?” Ashley asked. She certainly didn’t need to, but she had turned on the adorable puppy-dog eyes.

“Show you...the diaper?”

“After you put it on,” she said. “I...I could even help you put one on if you wanted.”

I carefully took a step or two towards another of the kitchen chairs, positioning the back of the chair between her line of sight and the slowly growing bulge in my pants. I really wanted that. Maybe more than I wanted to go on this date.

But it was a terrible idea.

“Maybe next time,” I said.

She laughed and nodded. I wondered if her offer had actually been a joke. Would I have looked like a fool if I had said yes?

“So,” I said, hoping to change the subject a little. “What about you? Still exploring the world of diapers with…” It was surprisingly hard to finish the sentence, but I pushed through: “...Veronica?”

She blushed a little. “Yes… I have you to thank for that.”

I was sure she meant it as a genuine compliment, but it didn’t feel like one.

“She’s treating you well?” I asked. “As a...mommy?”

“She’s learning,” Ashley said. “But I am too. We’re learning together, you know? It’s kind of exciting.”

“It sounds like it, sure.”

“That stuff that Vee said the other night? About...like, a playdate? Do you think you’d ever actually go for that?”

I sighed. That was a tricky question, and I wasn’t entirely sure that Ashley could imagine the complete answer to that. “It certainly sounds fun,” I said.

“I’d like it,” she said with a shrug.

So would I.

“I don’t know,” she added, seeming to ponder aloud, “I guess it’s silly to say that someone’s an ‘expert’ on being a, uh, big baby. But, while I try to grow more acclimated to the role, I just think that I’d kind of like the company of someone who feels more attuned with their...baby side. Does that make sense?”

“It does,” I said. “And I don’t think that’s silly.”

“Have you ever had that?” she asked.

“Another baby to play with?”

She nodded.

“No. It sounds nice. I think I would’ve liked that too.”

“She changed me the other day,” she said. “Did she tell you?”

Sweet precious Ashley - she seemed oblivious to the tension between Veronica and I, especially in regards to the ageplay. I sometimes wondered how much of that was willful.

“I think I connected the dots the other day,” I said. “When you ran back upstairs to get a fresh diaper.”

Her cheeks grew a little more pink. “I liked it. Being changed, you know?”

I nodded. I didn’t actually know - I hadn’t had that pleasure just yet. Fingers crossed, though. I suppose I could’ve had a little jealousy over the fact that Ashley seemed to have just stumbled into this world and was already further ahead in it than I was, but it didn’t seem worth it. I was happy that she was happy.

“It’s one of those things, I guess,” she said, “where I had no idea that it was something I’d want. And now that I’m here...I just can’t get enough.”

“I know that feeling,” I said. “All too well.”

“Hey,” she said, her tone softening a little. Her cheeks glowed a little pinker once more.

“Yeah?”

“Do you remember that night? When we met at the bar? And…”

I nodded. I remembered that quite well.

“Was that weird?”

I laughed. “It wasn’t...you know...the most completely normal thing.”

“Is it bad that I want to do that again?”

“Kiss me?”

She nodded.

“That depends on who you ask.”

“I’m asking you.”

“No, I don’t think that’s a bad thing to want.”

“I guess I didn’t come here just to sit in silence waiting for Vee to get home.”

I should have seen that coming.

“Oh...so…”

“I guess I wanted to see you,” she said.

I felt my bottom lip trembling. Gosh, I wanted this so fucking bad. Except…

“But...I’m supposed to be going out tonight. With Lucy.”

“I know,” she said. Her eyes looked down to the table. She looked ashamed for just asking.

“Maybe not tonight,” I said. “But...I’d like that too. More than I can even say.”

She nodded. She looked disappointed - more in herself than me.

And me? I couldn’t believe I was turning her down. But I had to get ready for my date with Lucy. Lucy. I wanted to see her. I wanted to talk to her. I wanted to show her I was wearing a diaper again.

That was tonight’s focus. It had to be.

“I can have a raincheck, can’t I?” I asked.

She nodded again.

“Promise?”

Another nod.

“Are we bad people?” she asked.

“How so?”

“I dunno,” she said softly. “I mean...I’m going to assume you didn’t tell Vee about the last time. And I certainly didn’t. And if we do anything again...I imagine we probably won’t say anything to her about it.”

“Yeah, you’re probably right.” I wasn’t about to say that it made us ‘bad,’ but there was certainly something underhanded about it. I added: “It’s complicated. Everything is.” I had no idea if that helped her or not, but it helped me. It made me feel like I could put off thinking about the ramifications of bad decisions long enough so that I could actually make the bad decisions.

“I shouldn’t hold you up from getting ready,” she said.

“Are you going to stick around the apartment?”

“If you don’t mind. I feel comfortable here.”

“I don’t mind,” I said with a smile.

I excused myself, going into the bedroom before closing the door behind me.

Okay. Breathe in. Breathe out.

One moment I’d feel impressed with myself for not just giving into my more primal urges. The next I would be kicking myself.

Seeing Lucy? Building something with her? That felt like a good thing. But doing something with Ashley behind Veronica’s back didn’t seem that good.

But I want it so bad.

Fuck it.

I turned around and walked back to the door. When I opened it, I found that Ashley was already there - standing on the other side, waiting for me.

“Hi,” she said, biting her lower lip.

“Hi.”

“Did you forget something?” she asked.

“Maybe. One little thing.”

We both stepped forward, meeting within the doorframe. Our arms were around each other and our mouths were locked together.

As we kissed, our bodies moved in unison through the bedroom and onto the bed. I landed on my back, with her landing on top of me. Her hands tucked themselves under me, and I could feel them cruising down to my ass where she was feeling to see what the situation was like.

“I...I haven’t put a diaper on yet, if that’s what you’re looking for,” I said.

“A shame,” she said, just barely fitting the words in between a deep breath and shoving her tongue into my mouth.

She pulled her face back again for a moment. “But feel free to explore my pants,” she said with a smile.

I wouldn’t need to be told twice.

My hands grasped at her waist, and as I guided them to her backside, the thick padding under her tight jeans was immediately apparent. She moaned gently as I gave her thick bottom a gentle squeeze.

“I wish I was wearing one too,” I said.

“Next time,” she quickly replied.

Another deep long kiss would have to suffice as my response to that.

My hands pawed at the button to her jeans, and when I managed to blindly open her pants I gave them a few quick tugs - pulling them down just enough so that I could get a good look at her diaper.

“Do you like it?” she asked.

“Of course I do.”

“It’s dry,” she said. It almost seemed as if she was pouting about that.

“Do you wish that it wasn’t?”

“I dunno. What do you think? Do you think you’d like it more if I was on top of you while in a wet diaper?”

“You’d have to do it and find out.”

She giggled. “I wish I could.”

“Pee shy?”

She nodded bashfully.

“Believe me,” I said, “this right here? This is already amazing.”

My eyes glanced over to the alarm clock. I wished I had more time. But I wasn’t about to tell her to get off of me. But she had seen me look at the clock. She knew that I’d soon have places to be. With a sigh she rolled off of me onto her back on the bed next to me.

“That was fun,” she said.

“The problem is that it just makes me want even more.”

“Yeah…”

For a few minutes we didn’t say anything. We didn’t even touch each other - we just lied on the bed together. For that moment, it was nice - just being there together.

“I’ll let you get dressed,” she finally said, sitting up. “Don’t forget your diaper.”

“How could I forget a thing like that?” I asked.

“Just making sure.”

I realized that if I had already gone against my better judgement in choosing this time to make out with her, maybe I might as well reverse every decision I made this afternoon.

“You can help me get into my diaper if you want.”

Her eyes lit up for a moment, but she shook her head. “If I did that...I doubt you’d ever get to your date.”

She was probably right.

“What’s going on here?” I didn’t so much ask it as I just blurted it out.

“I don’t know,” she said.

“You do like Veronica, right?”

“Oh...yes.” She nodded. “Very much so.”

That didn’t help me make any more sense of this.

“Are you worried about Veronica?” she asked.

I nodded.

“Yeah,” she said with a shrug. “That’s certainly a pickle.”

Twelve.

“It’s not polite to keep a lady waiting,” Lucy said, tapping her wrist sarcastically.

“I hope I didn’t keep you waiting long,” I said, a little out of breath from the hasty pace I kept to ensure that I wasn’t later than I already was.

“I was actually a little late myself,” she said with a laugh. “Considering that I live in this neighborhood, that’s kind of embarrassing. But I feel a little better seeing that I still beat you here.”

“It was just one of those nights,” I said. “It’s only on the nights that you have plans that the universe seems to throw obstacles in your path.”

“At least we’re here now.”

I nodded.

“Well?” she asked with a smile. “Turn around. Let me take a peek.”

It was deja vu from our first date - almost the exact same situation, just in a different place. I remembered how nervous I was then, and my cautious looks around.

But there was none of that this time. Without a second thought, I turned around so that she could peer into the back of my pants. She did so, and she offered an affirmative hum after.

A young woman who was just leaving the bar took a look at us and giggled to herself as she walked away. I couldn’t be sure if she actually saw anything - but the situation itself had to look pretty comical from her vantage point.

“You have a backpack, I see,” Lucy said - pointing to my black pack. We both knew what was in it, but she’d want to hear me say it.

“It’s just...extra things,” I said.

“Is it a diaper bag?”

I felt my cheeks warm. “Maybe.”

“We’re going to call it a diaper bag,” she said with a grin. “Come on, let’s go in and get some seats.”

It had been a crazy afternoon, and most of my journey to the bar was spent just replaying the events with Ashley over and over in my head. It felt unfair to both of them, honestly. Hell - including Veronica - that was three people that I felt like I was being unfair to in some way, shape, or form.

But I was in Lucy’s company now. And Lucy had a way of getting me to focus on the there-and-now.

“Keeping yourself dry?” she asked as we were sat at a table. I blushed, knowing the hostess who sat us was just barely out of earshot.

“Doing my best,” I said.

“You shouldn’t try so hard.”

“No?”

She smirked. “Be a good boy and wet yourself for me, won’t you?”

“N-now?”

“Whenever you can,” she said.

I nodded.

“You look a little flustered,” she said.

“I guess I’m just not used to being talked to like that.”

“But you like it?”

“Love it.”

“Perfect. Then I imagine you’ll let me know after the little baby is all done wetting his diapers for me?”

I nodded, feeling the heat in my cheeks intensify.

“It’s been a while since I talked to someone like that,” she said. “It feels good.”

Ashley who?

Drinks were ordered. Food was ordered. With both, Lucy had jested that I should either be served with a sippy cup or that I would need to see the children’s menu. Our waitress, a pretty young redhead named Raquelle, rolled with the jokes - clearly not getting the context, but didn’t want to be left out of the opportunity to tease a man on a date.

“Believe it or not, we don’t have any sippy cups,” Raquelle said, placing my lager in front of me. To Lucy: “But if he gets too messy, we can always see if we can’t make him a bib.”

“I’m going to hold you to that,” Lucy said with a laugh.

If I could’ve, I would've just slid off the chair and curled up under the table.

“Do you think I should’ve told her?” Lucy asked after Raquelle walked away.

“Told her what?”

“That if you were going to make any sort of mess, it’d likely be in your diaper?”

If I had beer in my mouth, I likely would’ve launched it clear across the bar. It might have set some sort of record for distance. Instead, I just sort of choked - caught somewhere between a sigh and a gulp.

She laughed pretty hard at this.

“I won’t lie,” I said. “I realize it’s not exactly ethical to be so...candid like that with strangers. But that feeling when you’re so close to having someone learn too much? It’s a rush.”

“Isn’t it? Though I think it's dangerous for me to know that you feel that way.”

“Probably,” I laughed. “But I imagine you’re dangerous enough without my input.”

“Fair enough,” she said. “But I’m warning you now, if you mess your diaper at this table, I’m going to tell poor Raquelle that you did.”

I blushed yet again. “That seems fair, though I doubt I’d do that.”

“Even if I asked you to?”

“You...you would do that?”

“Let's say that I did ask you to. Would you?”

I sighed. “If you actually asked me to? If you seriously expected to do that? Yeah...probably.”

“Well then, there you go. If I ask you to mess your diaper - you will. And if you do as you're told, I’d have to go and tell Miss Raquelle. And while I don’t want to speak for this young lady who is just trying to do her job - I suspect that she’d get a little bit of a kick out of that situation.”

It was a nice fantasy to imagine playing out. Later, I might even stroke myself while thinking about that scenario playing out exactly as she described it.

“Lactation?” Lucy asked, breaking my daydream about dirty accidents being exposed to cute waitresses. It was like being shoved out of one daydream and into another.

“Oh...uh, yeah. What about it, now?”

“You said you were interested?”

I nodded. “And you did say that it was a wish of yours too, yes? No experience with that?”

She laughed. “No, I’ve never lactated. I told myself once that I’d do it for the right guy. But, that was a long time ago, and as it turns out, no guy is ever good enough. That’s a big commitment on my part, you know? Training myself to lactate without actually having to get pregnant? I’ve changed my mind on it a little.”

“Yeah?” I took another sip of my beer.

“Well,” she said with a shrug. “I don’t have to do it for anyone else, you know? I can do it for myself. And if there just so happens to be someone who can take advantage of Mommy’s milky udders, then that seems like a good deal to me.”

There it was. That was the spit-take that I knew I had in me. I sprayed the top of the table with beer. I expected her to recoil, but she just laughed before helping me clean up the mess with her napkin.

“Do we need more napkins?” asked Raquelle who happened to be passing by at that moment.

“Please,” I said, probably looking as embarrassed as I felt.

“Oh don’t worry too much about it,” Raquelle said with a wry smirk. “Some boys have trouble staying clean, don’t they?”

She was already gone before my mouth could open to respond.

“She knows, right?” I asked Lucy. “She has to.”

Lucy laughed and shook her head. “I worked in a bar for eight years. You develop a knack for picking out the ones you can tease a little. I set her up, and now she’s just...spiking the ball.”

Well, I don’t need yet another woman to have a crush on.

Raquelle swung by for a moment to drop off some extra napkins. She didn’t say anything, thankfully. But she did leave behind an absurd amount of napkins.

“This is excessive, right?” I asked.

“She knows that little boys can be messy,” Lucy replied with a nod.

“Alright,” I said. “It’s all fun and games until you get me all riled up in the middle of a bar. Maybe we get to know each other a little bit better?”

“Fine,” she said with a laugh. “If we must. What do you want to know?”

“You said that you’ve been paid for...uh...baby stuff in the past, right? Are you a...sex worker?”

“I suppose I am while I’m taking someone’s money to change their diapers. There are days where I wish that was my primary hustle.”

“And so what is your primary hustle?”

“I work at a nonprofit,” she said with a shrug. “We fund children’s cancer research. I suppose I can sleep easier knowing that I’m not working for some filthy corporation - but most of my days are spent begging said filthy corporations for money.”

“That sounds rather noble,” I said.

“It feels like a normal old job most days,” she said. “I’m told that we do good things. But I don’t think I’m at the vantage point to see them. But what about you?”

“I...work for a filthy corporation,” I said. We both laughed.

“What does that entail?”

“Nothing especially exciting. Project management. I try to make sure everything is on schedule and yell at people when they’re not. Except...I don’t know what anyone actually does. Though I don’t think anyone else has caught on to that.”

She laughed again. “You’re funny.”

“Likewise.”

She put her open hands on the table. I knew what she wanted, and I didn’t hesitate to respond. I set my hands on the table too, fitting them inside hers. It felt good to hold her hands.

“I’m trying not to be too excited by you,” she said.

“No?”

“Dating is mostly just disappointment.”

“For what it’s worth, I don’t want to disappoint you.”

“Nobody does, I don’t think. But also, I don’t want to disappoint you either.”

“I’m not sure how you could.”

“Keep thinking that, Baby.”

I blushed.

“So. Are you ready to go ahead and mess your diaper?”

I felt every bit of color drain from my face as my hair seemed to stand on end. “Wait...what? Are you… I mean.... Here? Now? But…”

She let out a loud laugh and shook her head. “I’m teasing you, Baby. But - oh god - you should have seen your face. Wow. That was priceless.”

She got me, and it was funny. But I needed a second or two to recuperate before I could laugh about it. She had me covered though, laughing hard enough for the both of us.

“If you joke like that,” I said, “how will I know when you’re really asking me to do it?”

“You’ll know,” she said.

I believed that.

I don’t know what it was about that moment - the natural feeling I had with Lucy, or the beer, or the conversation. Maybe it was a combination of those things. But it seemed like the perfect opportunity for me to release my bladder.

“I’m sure you’d like to know that I’m wetting myself,” I said.

She smiled. “You’re right.”

Raquelle arrived just in time - thankfully not a moment sooner - with our food in hand. She dropped off a plate in front of each of us before setting down two sets of silverware, each rolled in a napkin. She positioned both closer to Lucy.

“I don’t know if he’s allowed to have sharp objects,” Raquelle said.

“You’re very astute,” Lucy replied with a smile. “I should probably cut up his food for him. And you said that you might have a bib? If needed?”

“Just say the word,” Raquelle said with a wink. “I’ll take care of you.”

And with that, she was off again. I slowly exhaled - almost certain that Lucy was going to further humiliate me with what I had just told her.

“I like her,” Lucy said. “Would it be weird if I asked for her number at the end of the meal?”

“Weird for who?” I asked. “Me? Or her?”

She laughed. “Well how would that make you feel?”

“It doesn’t stop you and I from seeing each other, does it?”

“No,” she said. “Not at all.”

“Then I wish you luck.”

The food was good. The second round of drinks were good...as was the third round. It was even easier than it had been the first time to wet the diaper for a second time. It was so effortless, in  fact, that I almost didn’t even acknowledge it myself. It wasn’t until I was just about done flooding myself that it occurred to me that it was happening.

“Oh…”

“Are you okay?” she asked.

“I...I think I just wet myself again,” I laughed.

“You think?”

“I...I most certainly did.”

“Well I hope that diaper holds up.”

“I have spares,” I said, patting the black backpack next to me.

“Ah yes,” she said. “Your diaper bag.”

I shrugged. Somehow wetting myself for the second time hadn’t embarrassed me too much. But her referring to it as my ‘diaper bag’ did the trick.

“I was going to suggest we split dessert,” she said. “But…”

“But?”

“Well, you’re in need of a diaper change. I said I would change your diaper. And...I just so happen to live close by.”

“This had been your plan all along, I assume.”

“Oh please. You must have seen this coming too.”

I had.

“You’re fine with coming to my place?” she asked.

“Do you bite?”

“I’m a little full at the moment,” she said, rubbing her belly. “But I might get peckish later.”

“I’m quite fine with coming over if you’ll have me.”

The stage had been set, and we were both excited about what was next. We made idle small talk while waiting for Raquelle to help us close out our bill. There was excitement in the air, and it filled me with joy to see that she was just as eager as I was.

“I’m disappointed that I never had to get that bib,” Raquelle said as she sidled up to the table.

“Me too,” Lucy said. “Next time we’ll bring our own.”

“I hope that you do,” Raquelle said. “But can I get you two some desserts tonight?”

Lucy and looked at each other, our eyes hungry for something besides food.

“Not tonight,” Lucy said.

“That’s a shame,” she said. “But you’ll come back, right?”

She was looking right at Lucy when she said that.

“I’m pretty sure we’ll see each other again,” Lucy said with a smile.

--

Stepping outside, into the comparatively quiet and fresher air, my hand was in hers. I don’t even remember when it happened, but no part of me wanted to drop her hand.

“My place?” she asked.

I nodded. “Lead the way.”

We were a block away when we heard someone yelling behind us. We both heard it at the same time, and we looked around, wondering if there had been an accident or something.

Someone was running towards us.

We recognized the person at the same time, but Lucy spoke first: “Raquelle?”

My heart sank - sinking deeper than I had felt in some time. She was carrying my backpack. Like an idiot, I had left it at the restaurant.

“Here…” Raquelle said, shoving the backpack into my hands as she tried to catch my breath. “I...wanted to make sure...you had this…”

“Well thank you so much,” Lucy said.

“Y-yeah,” I said. “Thank you. I’m so sorry to have made you run all that way.”

“Oh...it...was nothing,” she said, laughing through some gasping breaths. “...needed the exercise. Besides...it seemed to me like...you’d need that bag.”

Thirteen.

“I may have only been teasing you about messing your diaper at the bar,” Lucy said. “But here, where it’s just you and me, I’m much less inclined to kid around.”

I’d have said her apartment was about the same size as the one that I shared with Veronica. Though, as Lucy lived alone, her place seemed more spacious.

She did have one important addition to her apartment that we did not, however - a balcony. We were sitting outside at a small patio table, feeling the cool night wind swirl around us. She had poured us yet another round of drinks - cocktails of her own making this time around.

“Keep putting drinks in me and I’ll do anything you ask without hesitation,” I said. “Jokes or not.”

“I’m already well aware of this,” she said.

We looked out over the city. From this, the 10th floor, much of the street below looked miniature and insignificant. Illuminated only by streetlights, signs and cars, it was kind of pretty.

“You should take your pants off,” she said.

I wanted to ask why, but it didn’t really matter what the reason was. It was an easy enough thing to do and I didn’t want her to think that I was already hesitating when actually put to task.

I carefully removed my shoes and my pants, putting them inside near her couch, before walking back out to the balcony with my diaper on display. My two heavy wettings had done a number on it, and it was sagging considerably between my legs.

Staying in her chair, she beckoned me to her with just a finger. When I got closer, she tucked a hand under the swollen diaper so that she could feel how heavy and thick it had become.

“I like you like this,” she said. “Diaper out and exposed - like a real baby. Isn’t that comfortable? Not being restricted by those awful big boy pants?”

“Well...it’s different,” I said. The air was a little chillier up here and little goosebumps formed on my legs.

“This is good for two reasons,” she said, gently squeezing the front of the diaper. “For one, I think it’s important for me to always know the condition of your diaper. This just makes it easier.”

“And the other reason?” I asked.

She stood and walked closer to the balcony’s railing. She pointed to an apartment in the building across the street from hers. It wasn’t exactly parallel - it might have been on that building’s 9th floor - but close enough that we could see into the living room of the apartment.

“Do you see that one?” she asked.

I looked into the apartment. A man watched TV. My eyes slowly scanned to the right, spotting a head through a kitchen window.

“I do.”

“They put on an incredible show. She’ll get down on her hands and knees, facing out the window - practically looking right at me - and he’ll get behind her and just fuck her senseless for what feels like an hour.”

“That...happens often?”

“Often enough,” she said.

“And you just...watch them fucking each other? Do they know you’re watching?”

“I can’t imagine you’d fuck in front of a window if you weren’t expecting anyone to see,” she said with a laugh. “But yes. They’re well aware of my viewership.”

“Wait...what does this have to do with me wearing a diaper on your balcony?”

“It’s how I want to return the favor someday,” she said with a shrug. “I would love nothing more than for the day to come when they’re at their window - bonus points if they’re fucking - and they look up at my balcony and they see me with some diaper boy. If they caught me breastfeeding said diaper boy? Well, fuck. I’d probably come right there on the spot.”

I laughed and shook my head as I looked over the balcony into their apartment. I kind of wished her neighbors would see that too one day.

For a few moments, we just stood and listened to the night from the balcony. She returned to her seat behind me and I looked out over the area in just my diaper. She was watching me - staring at my bloated padding - I could just feel it.

“You’d look cute pooping your pants up here,” she said.

“You...think so?”

“You’d probably look cute pooping your pants anywhere. But here too. You would do that for me, yes?”

“Are you asking me to?” I asked.

“I want you to poop your diaper for me,” she said. “Here on my balcony. In fact, until you do, we’re not leaving. And once you do, I’ll take you back inside to change you.”

“Is it okay if I take my time with that one?” I asked. “It’d be my first time doing that in front of someone. And...uh, my first time having someone else changing me.”

“Take your time,” she said. “I trust you’ll let me know when you’re ready.”

On some level I was experiencing anxiety about what I had just committed to, but it was deep enough in the recesses of my mind that I wasn’t letting it get to me. Lucy had a way of making it seem so expected and obvious, that I almost felt sillier for having any hesitation at all.

“Did you actually give Raquelle your number?” I asked.

“I left it on the table,” she said with a smile.

“Do you think she’ll call you?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know.”

“Do you think she looked in the bookbag?”

“Probably,” she said. “If she didn’t go through the entire bag, I’m sure she at least took a peek.”

“Are you nervous she wouldn’t call you after seeing what was in the bag?”

She laughed and shook her head. “It was your diaper bag, not mine. I’m sure she’d have figured that out too. But if I never heard from her again? Yeah, I guess I might wonder if she saw your big diapers and assumed that we were into things far weirder than she could handle.”

“But if she does call you?” I asked.

“That could mean a lot of things, right? It could mean that she actually wanted to get a chance to talk to me again too. Or...it could mean that she liked what she saw in your diaper bag. Maybe both.”

I blushed a little at her repeated references to my ‘diaper bag.’ Simultaneously, something else was happening. Speak of the devil… I had been a little nervous that my bowels would be unable to perform tonight. But I felt a mild cramp in my gut - an early indication that I’d probably be just fine when the moment came.

“Have you ever worn a diaper?” I asked.

“No,” she said. “Do you think I should try it?”

I shrugged. “You might like it.”

“I might. But I’m pretty fond of being the one changing the diapers.”

“Why is that?” I asked.

“I bet it’s the same reason anyone likes being more of a top than a bottom, right? Control. Power. I derive pure pleasure from being able to guide someone - another adult - through something as humiliating as a diaper change.”

I nodded. It was a good answer, and one that felt complimentary to my needs of a ‘mommy.’

“How did you discover diapers?” she asked. “When did you know you wanted to be a baby again?”

I felt a little more churning in my abdomen.

“It’s not a particularly happy story,” I said.

“I’m still willing to hear it, if you’re willing to tell me.”

“I guess I was a mistake,” I said with a shrug. “I mean...nobody had ever said as much, but it's one of those things you kind of piece together. My parents were young when they had me, and my father didn’t stick around too long. My mother did her best for me, but...I always felt like there was a little bit of resentment there. Whenever she’d look at me, I could see her imagining an alternate reality where she did the things she wanted to do and wasn’t bound to being a mother.”

“That’s a pretty depressing thought for a kid to have,” Lucy said.

“Maybe,” I said with a laugh. “Don’t get me wrong...it wasn’t a bad childhood. And she was a good mother.”

“So...how does that lead to diapers?”

“She got remarried. I was in my teens at this point and more independent. I guess I had always been more independent - not wanting her to feel like I was more of a burden than I might have already been. But it had afforded her the chance to, you know, get out there in the world again. And she met this guy and they absolutely hit it off and…”

“They had a baby?” Lucy asked.

I laughed. “Bingo. I don’t know, it was like the perfect storm, I guess. I had never seen my mother so happy than when she was holding my baby sister. Meanwhile, there’s teenage hormones and all that and… I don’t know. I wanted to be the baby. I wanted that sort of attention. I didn’t want to be independent. I wanted someone to clean up after me without a second thought.

“That’s sad,” Lucy said, her hand wrapping itself over mine. “But...precious. You just want to be a loved little baby. And I think you deserve that.”

“Of course...things change and morph over time. Humiliation often plays a big part in it now. And the idea of diapers as a punishment and all that.”

“I think you can have all those things,” she said softly. “I think you can have whatever you want.”

“What if I want everything?”

She laughed, thankfully seeing through my little exaggeration. “What do you want right now? One thing. No matter how weird or fantastical it might seem - if you could have one thing right now, what do you think you’d want?”

I imagined her opening a door, and a flood of ideas and fantasies pouring out uncontrollably. I wanted so many things. Humiliation. Complex punishments. Exposure. Ashley. I’d be happy doing just about anything. But if I could choose just one thing?

“Actually,” I said. “I think it’d be something kind of simple.”

“Oh?”

“I think, maybe, I’d just want to...sit on your lap?”

She smiled and nodded. “Why don’t you come over here, then” She patted her lap.

“My diaper...it’s very wet,” I said. I stood up, revealing two small wet spots on her chair from where the leg bands of my diaper had been.

“I own a washing machine,” she said. “Come sit on my lap, and bring your soggy diaper with you.”

I quickly scrambled out of my chair and into her lap. Planting my wet bottom there, I once again felt the squish of the full diaper under me. I sat sideways on her, both of my legs dangling over the right side of her lap as her left hand supported my back. I instantaneously felt like a child in a way that I never had before.

“Ooh,” she said. “My leg already feels a little damp.”

“I...I’m sorry,” I said.

“I hope you leak all over me,” she said softly.

Her body lurched forward a little, and her lips found mine.

I felt myself hesitating a little; holding back. It wasn’t that long ago, in this same evening, that I had found myself in a similar situation with Ashley.

“A little nervous?” she asked, aware of my timidness. “Maybe all this is a lot to take in at once.”

What she said was true, but I knew what the hold-up was. I sighed, trying to shake Ashley from my mind. I needed to be in the here-and-now, regardless of anything that happened earlier.

It wasn’t that hard to do. I was, after all, sitting in a beautiful woman’s lap in a soaking wet diaper. She wanted to kiss me, and I wanted to kiss her.

I leaned towards her, letting my lips find hers this time.

Everyone else - and anyone else - faded into the background as our arms wrapped each other and our lips smacked together. I was in this moment now, and it was incredible.

“You’re a very good baby,” she said to me in one of the small moments our lips had pulled apart.

“You’re a good…” There was a word I wanted to say - but it was hard to say it. I never had this opportunity before.

“You can say it,” she cooed softly to me. “Go on. Call me Mommy.”

‘You’re a good Mommy.” Our lips connected again, with both of us moaning loudly.

I found myself in a place I had never been before. I had loved. I had crushed. I had found myself in intimate situations with women many times in my life. But never had my kink been involved. Never had my kink been so welcomed that she was encouraging me to give her more. This feeling of freedom seemed easy to get lost in if I wasn’t careful.

But why not? Why not get lost?

“I...I can do it,” I said to her, pulling my wet lips from hers again. Little strings of saliva ran between our faces.

“Do what?” she asked.

“I can mess,” I said. “I can poop my diaper.”

“Oh?”

I started to slide off of her lap. In my mind, I had imagined myself squatting next to her chair as she watched me.

“Where are you going?’ she asked.

“Well, I was going to…”

“You can do it here.”

“On your lap?”

She nodded.

“But…”

“I want you to stay right here and push it all into your diaper while you sit on my lap.”

If she was okay with it, I was okay with it. Regardless of any of my lingering insecurities, she had managed to make me feel safe. Even in my fantasies, it was hard to shake the idea that in a moment like this - being watched as I filled my diaper - there’d still be the possibility that I’d be shamed or judged after. But I just knew that wouldn’t be the case here.

We were in this together.

“Go on,” she said, whispering in my ear. “I know you want to.”

It shouldn’t have been this easy. There were no doubts and no hesitations. I wanted - needed - to do this for her.

I pushed. I didn’t have to push too hard to set things in motion, and once things were in motion they didn’t stop.

“Unh…” I groaned, my eyes tightly closed. “Umf.” I forgot where I was and got lost in the moment as I let out my little grunts. The back of my diaper loudly expanded as, and I lifted my body a little to make more room. She let me have the moment, not interrupting or interfering beyond a supportive hand that was gently rubbing my back.

“Did you get it all out?” she finally asked after I had paused for a few quiet moments.

I had a little something left. “Unnh…” One final push and I squeezed just a little more into the diaper. My bowels were empty and my diaper was full. I was proud of myself.

“Oh my,” she cooed. “Did you do all that for me?”

I nodded.

Her hand was on the back of my diaper, feeling the firm mass through the diaper. I lowered myself back down onto her lap completely again, feeling the contents of the diaper spread and squish.

“It’s warm,” she said. “And stinky.”

I felt myself blush. “Sorry…”

“For what?” Her mouth was right next to my ear, and every word that she softly said into it seemed to permeate the pleasure-center of my brain. “This is what babies do, isn’t it? They make big stinky messes in their diapers. They can’t help it.”

It was all very intoxicating. It could’ve literally been the alcohol, of course, though it seemed like much more than that. This moment and everything about it was euphoric.

I changed my position on her lap, straddling her waist with my legs so that I could face her head-on. I leaned in, kissing her again, and both of her hands clutched my diaper. As we made out, she squeezed and manipulated the diaper, playing with it like it was clay. Feeling the wet filthy mess shift around against my skin as we kissed was blissful and a pleasure I never knew I wanted.

“We could do this all night,” she said.

“Why don’t we?”

“Because you need to get your diaper changed.”

I nodded.

“And I know you can’t see it right now,” she added. “But across the street? At the window where that couple has sex? They’re there now. Watching us.”

She smiled, looking as content as I felt.

I didn’t even care.

Fourteen.

By the time that Lucy sent me home in a clean diaper, it was close to 2 AM. I had one single regret for the entire evening, and that was that I didn’t think to take the next day off. The workday was going to be brutal - though it would be worth it.

She had asked me to stay over for the night. It was a tempting offer - and it probably made more sense than fetching an early morning Uber back home so that I could get just a few hours of sleep. But if I had stayed, I doubted I would’ve ever left.

As to be expected at 2 AM, the apartment was dark and quiet when I got home. I didn’t think much of it until I walked into the bedroom and found that the bed was completely empty. I returned to the kitchen where I found a note on the counter.

At Ashley’s tonight. See you tomorrow.

-V

I had feelings about this, but I wasn’t sure exactly what kind of feelings they were. Jealousy? Worry? It didn’t matter now. It was late and I needed sleep, and there wasn’t much else I could do about it now anyways.

I stripped down to just my diaper. I watched myself in the bedroom’s full-length mirror for a moment, admiring the near-perfect application that Lucy had done.

That diaper change was something else.

--

She had me lie down on the thick plush carpet of her living room. She had wanted to do it on the balcony, but there just wasn’t room. A shame too - I think I would’ve liked that.

After unfastening the tapes and peeling open the diaper - exposing what I could only imagine to be one of the most gruesome messes ever seen in the diaper of a big baby - she had surprised me by not only looking at my filthy diaper with delight, but by announcing: “This makes me wet.”

My cock had already been hard. It had seemed to be in a near-permanent state of stiffness since I had taken my pants off on her balcony. I wasn’t exactly sure what she wanted me to do with that information, but she seemed to be sure of what she wanted.

“We’ll get back to changing baby’s diaper in a few minutes,” she had said, slowly guiding a single finger slowly up my cock. “Can you do something for me first?”

--

It was almost 3 AM now and the chances that I’d fall asleep soon weren't looking too good. I was hard in my diaper again, and I ran a hand over the front of it, listening to it crinkle loudly as I pet myself.

Between Ashley and Lucy, it had been a wild night. Quite possibly one of the most wild nights of my entire life.

Ashley…

My hand slipped into my diaper and I began to rub myself. I wasn’t thinking of anything - anyone - in particular; it was a multitude of things all at once. Messing myself in Lucy’s lap. Ashley’s lips. Getting my diaper changed. Crawling around on the ground with Ashely. Being watched by the strangers across the street from Lucy’s apartment.

Lucy, carefully crawling over my body and open diaper so that she could lower her wet muff onto my mouth.

Ashley's pants pulled down, and my hands on her diaper as we kissed.

Veronica… Veronica’s hand on my cock, stroking me in the dark.

What even is my life now?

I had a truly confusing climax, my mind in a thousand places at once as I felt myself spurting inside of the diaper.

But that seemed to be the hormonal release I needed to calm my mind a little. I was finally able to doze off, my hand still lodged in my sticky diaper.

--

“Do you want to get breakfast?”

“Huh?”

“Breakfast? You know - like coffee and eggs? Surely you’ve had it before.”

It seemed way too early for Veronica’s sarcasm. I glanced at the alarm clock. 10 AM.

“Shit,” I said. “I…”

“You’re not going to work, are you?” she asked. “You look like death.”

I had a vague memory of my alarm going off two hours ago and calling the office and telling them that I’d be late today. That seemed like it could’ve been a dream. I checked my recent calls on my phone. Sure enough, I had called this morning.

I’m going to have to call out.

I looked back at Veronica again. She was folding some linens and loading them into the closet.

“Wait - did you want to go to breakfast with me?”

“Is that so far-fetched?”

“Yes?”

She laughed and shook her head. “Are you hungover? Or just exhausted from hours upon hours of fucking? Both?”

“Just tired,” I said. Surprisingly, I wasn’t hung over. And no actual fucking had taken place - even if the things that I had actually experienced were on par with it.

“I guess I was just thinking we should catch up,” she said. “I’m off today. And you are...half-comatose. It seems like a good day for it.”

“Yeah...okay,” I said, sitting up in bed. “Let me take a shower and get dressed and all that and we can go and…”

She cleared her throat in a rather obvious way, and I looked down at my lap. I had brushed away the sheets without thinking about what was under them. There was my diaper.

“No nighttime accidents, I hope,” she said.

I quickly pulled a sheet over myself again. “N-no… Sorry. You weren’t supposed to see that.”

“I’m not sure I’ve actually ever seen you in a diaper before,” she said. “It’s not a bad look on you.”

I blushed. “I’ll just change and…”

“Is it clean?” she asked.

“Well...I didn’t use it, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“Leave it on,” she said.” Not for my benefit, of course. But it seems silly to waste a diaper.”

Her logic was sound, but that didn’t make me feel any better about spending my morning with her while we both knew I was in a diaper.

I wish I could’ve said no. But there was something about a woman telling me what to do with my diapers that I was unable to refuse.

“I’ll just...get dressed, I guess.”

“Perfect,” she said with a smile. “I’m ready to go whenever you are.”

--

It’s the quietest that I’ve ever seen this cafe. Probably because everyone else is at work.

It feels like it’s been a while since Veronica “hung out” together. Or just the two of us went out for a meal together. It felt weird. It also felt normal.

“I owe you an apology,” Veronica said as she carefully measured out some sugar in her spoon before adding it to her coffee. She liked hers a lot darker than I did.

“How so?” She wasn’t one to take the blame for much, and she apologized even less than that. It wasn’t unheard of, but rare enough that she had my full attention.

“A few years ago,” she said, gently stirring the coffee with her spoon now, “you came to me with a request. I’m sure you know the one I’m talking about.”

I nodded, looking around to make sure nobody was in earshot when I answered her. “Diapers?”

“That’s the one.” She took a long slow sip before continuing. “I answered too quickly, I think.”

“I’m not sure what you mean,” I replied. “Do you think you would’ve had a different answer if you had thought about it longer?”

She shrugged. “It’s hard to say. I’m not the same person I was then. This isn’t the same relationship we had at that time.”

“Do you, too, think that was the start of things being...not as good for us?” I asked.

“I never thought about it like that,” she said. “You might be right. But in that moment - when you asked me if I would do that for you? I didn’t tell you no because I wasn’t interested. I was just...so sure that you knew exactly what you wanted from that experience. And that whole world was unlike anything I had ever participated in before. I was worried that if I had said I’d participate, I’d only let you down.”

“That was a long time ago,” I said. I wasn’t sure what point I was trying to make. Maybe it was best to let bygones be bygones. Or maybe I was wondering why she hadn’t taken time in the years that followed to say that.

“Some ideas are like little seeds,” she said. “You don’t even mean to plant them - they just blow into your mind and get caught somewhere. For a while you don’t think much about it - maybe you don’t think about it at all. But then, suddenly, there’s a plant where there wasn’t one before. You could probably pull it up or cut it down if you really wanted to. Or...you could let it grow and see what happens.”

“I’m not sure I’ve ever seen you care for a plant in my life,” I said with a laugh.

She laughed too, shaking her head. “I worked really hard on that metaphor. I’d appreciate it if you didn’t crack jokes about it.”

“So,” I said, trying to put on a straight-face again, “what you’re saying is that even though you turned me down, the idea of my fantasy stuck around in your head? And...you grew more interested in it over time?”

“That sounds about right,” she said.

“I wish you had told me sooner.”

“Sometimes I wish I had too. But...it got harder to talk about as time went on. We grew more distant. I think our relationship hit a few rough patches. So, when we met Ashley…”

“Yeah?”

“I think I saw in her the exact same things you did.”

“Wow,” I said with a laugh. “Right down to treating her like a little girl.”

She nodded. “I mean, c’mon. What were you going to do with her? You’re nobody’s daddy.”

“I...I could be.”

“I wish I believed that. I’d have dropped my panties and let you smack my rear end while you called me your Little Princess,” she said with a flirty smirk.

Under the table, in the diaper that I was still wearing, my cock stiffened. As it was, I was in an uncomfortable predicament. I had stubbornly chosen to continue wearing this diaper that Veronica had seen me in - perhaps to prove that I wasn’t going to just waste a diaper, regardless of how embarrassing it was that she knew I was wearing it? But I had yet to piss today, and there is no underestimating the urgency that comes with that morning pee.

A gentle wind likely would’ve caused me to release my bladder. I had no idea what I was waiting for anymore.

“I didn’t know you had that side to you,” I said.

“Well, I don’t want to waddle around in diapers, if that’s what you mean,” she said as I frantically looked around again to make sure nobody heard that. “But what girl doesn’t like getting slapped around a little now and then?”

I shrugged, speechless.

“I’ve never wanted actual children,” she said. “But nothing has ever made me happier than watching Ashley crawl around the floor in front of me in a diaper.”

It was hard to describe how I felt at that moment, but it wasn’t an overall good feeling.

“I don’t hate you,” she said. “I’m not mad at you. I don’t harbor resentment towards you. I think you’re handsome. Kind. Sweet. And...well, we have more in common than I guess we both realized.”

She meant ageplay, but it applied just as easily to Ashley. I wondered what her reaction would be if I told her now about the things Ashley and I had done when she wasn’t there.

Now, more than ever, I suspected it wouldn’t be good. The pressure in my bladder was intense.

“So, what exactly are you saying?” I asked.

“Maybe there’s a future - not too far off from now - where we can...reconnect? Fix some things?”

At my core, and with all other circumstances and distractions aside for a moment, I wanted that. But our world seemed weirder and wilder than either of us fully knew it to be.

“Yeah,” I said. “That sounds nice,” I said.

“Okay good,” she said.

It was hard to say what, if anything, that conversation did. Maybe it helped her reiterate that she wasn’t my enemy. Maybe it was justification for why we’d keep living together. Maybe it was a nice way of saying ‘Eventually we need to fix things, but for now, can’t we just have some fun?’

I was fine with all of that.

“How did your date go?” she asked. I was happy with her changing the subject, but this one might have been more awkward than the previous one.

“It was...pretty good.” No follow-up questions, please. “How was your night at Ashley’s?”

Was she...blushing?

She wasn’t entirely present as she answered my question - part of her seemed to be back in Ashley’s apartment, reliving whatever it was they did. “Ah, well. You know Ashley. She’s a very good girl.”

I know better than you realize.

“So long as both of you are getting what you want.”

She smiled. “I believe so. And you? Are you getting everything that you want?”

I was blushing myself now, and I couldn’t even have stopped it if I wanted to. “Yes.”

“Well good. It sounds like everyone’s nice and happy then, yes?”

It felt strangely tense at the table at that moment. We both meant well, and each of us probably did want the other to be happy. But it felt like a lot of things were being skirted and avoided.

“It seems that way,” I said.

She sighed. Before she even said anything, I could tell that she was lowering her guard a little. She felt the same tension I did, but she was doing the thing that I couldn’t - working through it.

“Changing a diaper is harder than I thought it would be,” she said.

I laughed. “Yeah?”

There seemed to be little point in torturing myself with holding my bladder any longer, though it seemed strange to flood my diaper here at the table while she stared at me. I’d hold it a little longer, hoping that I’d find a natural time when I could do it without drawing attention to myself.

“I don’t know...have you ever changed a diaper before?” she asked.

“I mean...my own, yes. But I guess that’s a little different.”

“I can see where there’s a science to it. Like I’m sure an experienced mother can just blast through the process in a few seconds. But I find myself hung up on every single detail of it. Have I cleaned her enough? Is there enough powder? Too much? Am I putting the diaper on too tight? Not tight enough? Did I overlook some crucial step and now she’s going to leak as soon as she wets herself again?”

Fuck it. I released the hold on my bladder and felt the heavy stream rush into the diaper, where it was absorbed as quickly as it came.

I had to laugh again.

“What? What’s so funny?” she said, smirking a little herself.

“I don’t know,” I said, hoping to play it off as a response to what she had said. “It sounds like you’re talking about a literal baby. Not...our neighbor. An adult woman. A woman who we only met a short time ago.”

Now she was laughing. “It’s strange, isn’t it?”

I nodded, but opted to answer her concerns anyways: “I think all of those things just come with time. You...learn from leaks.”

“How very profound,” she said.

I shifted my body around a little, the diner chair not being an especially comfortable seat for someone in a heavy diaper. But at least I felt relieved, finally.

I took a deep breath and stepped a little outside of my own comfort zone to join her. “I’ll say this. Getting your diaper changed isn’t as easy as it looks either. I mean...I guess I don’t really have to do anything. But it’s a lot that you have to be willing to put out there. It requires trust and safety to allow yourself to be in such a vulnerable position. Someone is seeing you and your absolute most private moment, you know?”

“You’re right,” she said. “I suppose I knew that on some level. But it’s always nice to be reminded.”

For a few moments, we didn’t say much. It didn’t feel as awkward or tense anymore, but it was also hard to know what it was we were supposed to be doing now.

“How’s your diaper?” she asked.

“Oh...uh…”

“I’d offer to change you,” she said. “You know...for practice. But that’d be weird, right?”

“Yeah, well…” My voice trailed off. Yes, it would be weird. Yes...I’d probably be okay with actually allowing that to happen.

She laughed and shook her head. “It’d be weird. I was just teasing. But seriously, don’t get a diaper rash.”

“I haven’t yet,” I said with a smile.

I’d spend much of the rest of the day wondering what would have happened if I had just immediately told her that she could have.

Fifteen.

In the evening following Veronica and I’s breakfast, the two of us sat side-by-side on the couch while Ashley stood before us. She had dropped by saying that she had good news that she wanted to share. I couldn’t speak for Veronica, but I had this strange feeling like we were Ashley’s parents, sitting on the couch while she excitedly bopped about in front of us.

I felt like she was about to beg us to take her on a vacation to Disney World. Well, she’d look cute in mouse-ears.

Ashley took a deep breath: “Okay, I was thinking about it and...I want to throw a party.”

Veronica clapped her hands together. “Yes! I do love parties. You’re going to let me help you put this together, right?”

“Well...that’s mostly why I wanted to talk to you,” she said. “You’re an excellent hostess and so...uh...adult? And, you know, I don’t really know many people in town and…”

“I’d be happy to help,” Veronica said with a warm smile. Spoken just like a mother trying to calm her over-excited daughter.

I was a little let down by the news. I mean, a party sounded like plenty of fun, but I think I might have been expecting something else.

What could she have said that would’ve made me more excited? A good question. Probably nothing that she could have said in front of both of us.

“I can help too,” I said with a shrug. Admittedly, I knew next to nothing about throwing a party. That was definitely Veronica’s thing.

“Yes, of course!” Ashley said.

“We’ll need man-ual labor,” Veronica teased. “You’ll be twice as helpful without the need for bathroom breaks.”

I would’ve just brushed off her remarks if Ashley hadn’t hid a little giggle behind her hand.

“We’ll do anything we can to help,” I said.

“So,” Veronica said, “you want to have a party with...people you don’t know?”

Ashley laughed. “I mean, there’s some nice people I work with, so I thought I’d invite them, of course. And there’s you two, obviously. And maybe anyone who you think is cool that should be invited too? I just...I just want a party.”

“Well you’re the coolest person I know,” Veronica said. With any other audience, that response might have triggered gagging noises. But Ashley absolutely ate it up, as she leaned in to kiss Veronica on the cheek. Veronica, in turn, twisted her face so that her lips met Ashley’s - both of them letting out a soft moan as they kissed again.

It was the first time I had seen them act more like...a couple. I guess I had known that this side had existed since that very first night I spotted them in the kitchen, but it was still a little jarring to see it actually play out in front of me.

As if both could read my mind - or at least realized that this might be new territory - they both turned to me to see what my reaction was.

“It’s fine,” I said with a laugh. “We’re all good.” Maybe I believed that, maybe I didn’t. That was a problem for Future-Jaime.

They certainly bought it, with Veronica pulling Ashley over her lap playfully, smacking her bottom with her hand. The hollow plastic sound emanating from Ashley’s ass made it clear what Veronica was striking.

Ashley quickly stood up, her face now a much deeper pink color.

“She’s a good girl,” Veronica said. “Mommy didn’t even ask her to put her diaper on, and yet she did anyway.”

Ashley nodded.

Where the hell am I?

“Oh,” Ashley said - maybe trying to divert attention from that inadvertent revelation, or maybe actually remembering something she wanted to say. “Jaime, you should invite your new friend to my party. Lucy?”

The question alone made my heart beat faster. Veronica was nodding in agreement.

“That’s a great idea,” she added. “We’d love to meet her.”

“Well...I mean, we’ve only gone out twice and…”

“Please?” asked Ashley. It was the puppy-dog eyes. Goddamn, was there any attack more vicious than the adorable baby girl with big eyes and pouty lips? She could have asked me to fill my pants with mustard and I probably would’ve agreed to it.

“I’ll bring it up,” I said. “When is this party, anyways?”

“I’m thinking next weekend,” Ashley said. “Saturday? That seems good, right?”

Sometimes I forgot about the 10-ish years that separated Ashley’s age from ours. Diapers and pigtails aside, she spent so much time around us that she was starting to feel like she had always been there. But once in a while she’d remind me that we were in slightly different places in life.

A party for us - a party that Veronica would throw - wasn’t an event to throw together in a week. It was a month-long process of ensuring that invitations made it to the curated guest-list. There’d be a theme. Plans for decorations and plans for food and alcohol. The living room would get rearranged. I’d inevitably be tasked with cleaning the baseboards.

Seriously, who goes to the parties and looks at the baseboards?

But Ashley reminded me - and likely Veronica too - of a different time. Buying a case of beer or two and putting out a few calls for friends to come over on a Friday. No themes. No decorations. We’d probably forget something silly - like toilet paper or plastic cups - but it wouldn’t matter because we’d just have fun with whoever showed up.

“That seems fine,” Veronica said with a smile. I was impressed - I didn’t think Veronica would let her have that. “But…” Ah yes, there it was, Veronica’s desire to at least take a little control. “We should make it...special. This is your first party in the big new city, afterall.”

“Oh, you’re right,” Ashley said. “What did you have in mind?”

“A baby shower,” I teased.

Ashley’s eyes widened as she blushed. Veronica just laughed, adding: “Oh, you might be onto something. Introduce everyone to the new baby? And just think of the gifts people could bring. Cute new outfits and little toys and…”

“No, no,” Ashley said, shaking her head. “I don’t think that’s a good idea at all.”

“You’re probably right,” Veronica said. “It’s a party for you, and we couldn’t have a baby shower without including Jaime.”

The teasing was fun while it lasted.

“Want to take a look at your apartment?” Veronica asked. “We can start getting an idea of where things will go.”

“Well...we could,” Ashley said, not seeming entirely onboard with the concept of planning - let alone planning immediately. But I saw it in her eyes - the exact moment when she realized that Veronica was also asking something else: Did you want to go back upstairs so that we can be alone? “You know what?” she added. “Let’s go.”

--

Lucy: Being a good boy today?

I needed that. I needed to have heard from her. I couldn’t respond fast enough.

Me: That depends on what you think a good boy does?

Lucy: How long were you in that diaper I put you in last night?

Me: Long enough to wet myself during breakfast out with my wife.

Lucy: Oh my. And did she notice?

Me: She figured it out.

Lucy: A shame I wasn’t there to change you.

Me: It’s a shame you weren’t here for a lot of things.

Lucy: I can guess. But...elaborate?

Above me, I heard some light thumps. I wondered what was going on up there. Was Veronica moving a couch around in an effort to show Ashley how it could look for the party? Or was she on her back so that Ashley could eat her out? It was hard not to let my imagination run away from me.

Me: I want to be in your lap again.

Lucy: It did seem like an awfully good fit, didn’t it?

Me: When can we do it again?

Lucy: Whenever you want.

Me: Now? ;)

Lucy: I could probably use a little more notice than that. :)

Me: I’m not doing anything tomorrow night…

Lucy: Hmm, looks like I have plans.

Me: Oh. What are you up to?

Lucy: I have a little baby boy to pamper. :)

I let out a sigh of relief. Of course we were going to see each other again, and of course we were going to see each other again soon. But after having watched the way that Ashley and Veronica had begun to put less effort into hiding their dynamic, I needed to know that there was something fun in my future. Something that was mine.

Me: Do I know this little boy?

Lucy: I think you’re familiar with him.

Me: That’s what I was hoping.

Lucy: Though I’m curious now. Are you currently wearing a diaper?

Me: No… Should I be?

Lucy: You can do whatever you’d like. But...if I told you to put a diaper on, would you?

Me: Of course.

Lucy: Are you alone?

I looked up to the ceiling again. If I focused, I could just barely make out the creek of a floorboard now and then. My imagination filled in the gaps of what was happening up there, and it might as well have been one giant gap.

Me: I’m alone.

Lucy: At the bar, you had mentioned how easy it would be for you to just blindly follow my requests. Maybe I could put that to the test?

Me: I’m game.

Lucy: I’ll call you. Maybe it’d even easier if you heard my voice.

I didn’t have time to respond - not that I had any intention of declining her offer. My phone began vibrating in my hand.

“Why hello,” I said.

“Good evening, Baby,” she cooed. The sound of her voice sent little sparks throughout my body.

“What can I do for you?” I asked. I sounded desperate. I felt desperate. I didn’t bother to hold any of that energy back - surely she was expecting it.

“An eager little boy, are you?” she responded. “You’re not even going to put up a little fight?”

“I can pretend,” I said with a laugh.

“I don’t think that’s necessary. Some little babies don’t believe they’re babies, you know? They kick and scream and try to convince me that they’re big boys. But all they really do is just further convince me that they’re babies.”

“I...could do that,” I said. “If you like that.”

“You’re a different kind of baby,” she said.

“How so?”

“You’re the kind of baby who knows exactly what they are. You know better than to try and fool me. You couldn’t do it if you tried. For you, it’d be best to stick with what you know. Being a big…”

My heart began beating faster. I needed to hear her say it.

“...baby boy.”

I moaned a little into the phone.

“That's what you are, isn’t it?” she asked.

“Mm hmm.”

“Tell me what you are.”

“I...I’m a big baby. A big dumb baby boy.”

“Dumb?” she giggled. “I never said anything about dumb. But perhaps you are just an empty-headed little diaper-filler. You might be right about that.”

Another little moan.

“Have you ever tried talking like a baby?” she asked.

“Like…’goo goo ga ga?’”

“Maybe. Or just…”

I tried it again: “Me talk wike baby?”

She giggled into the phone again. “Better. But you’ll need to practice. Maybe...when you’re alone.”

I laughed and blushed. I felt kind of silly and stupid - but I was happy to feel that way.

“Okay, let’s not belabor this any longer. Put a diaper on.”

“Yes...miss.”

“Mommy,” she said, correcting me.

“Yes, Mommy.”

“Good boy.”

I set my phone to speaker-phone so that I had use of both of my hands, and I rushed to the bedroom and began digging in my closet, fishing out a diaper.

“That’s a lot of noise,” she commented. “Are your diapers that well hidden?”

“They are.”

“Seems silly, doesn’t it? A baby like you should have your diapers out in the open and accessible.”

I wished that was my life, though it seemed unlikely.

“I’m putting it on now,” I said.

The noisy diapered crinkled as I tried to flatten it out and position it on the ground. I was tempted to try and be more careful about my movements to minimize the noise, but I found little point for that. She’d want to hear every sound.

“Maybe I should get some diapers too,” she said. “For you, of course. I could keep them at my place for when you come over.”

It was an exciting thought, though it seemed to carry other implications. That was an expectation for me to be at her house again, and repeatedly after. For someone I had met so recently it seemed a little...committed. It wasn’t a red flag. It was just...something I’d have to think about more.

Wasn’t she the one who said she wasn’t looking for a commitment right now?

“I don’t think I’d put them away,” she added. “I’d just leave your diapers out. And if anyone comes over and sees them, I’d just explain that those are for my big baby.”

It was something I’d have to think about more...later.

“Who...would see them?” I asked, as I laid down on the diaper so I could fold it over myself and tape it closed.

“Oh, I don’t know,” she said. “Anyone, I guess. My friends. My family. Raquelle.”

“R-Raquelle? The waitress? Did you…?”

“She called me, yeah. We had a really nice conversation too.”

“Did you talk about…” I restarted that sentence: “Did she bring up my bookbag? Did she look in it?”

She laughed. “Do you really think that when a cute girl calls me, we have nothing better to talk about than you and your diapers?”

I sat up in my diaper. It didn’t feel as good as when she had put the diaper on me, but knowing that I was putting it on at her request was almost as good.

“No...I suppose not. Sorry…”

“I’m totally kidding,” she said. I thought that she meant she was kidding about Raquelle calling her. But: “We absolutely talked about you and your diapers.”

I felt so flustered and overwhelmed that I barely knew how to function. “Wh-what do you mean? You...and she...and you talked about...diapers?”

“Not immediately,” she said. “She told me a little about herself. I told her a little about myself. For a while it was a very normal, and pleasant chat. But then she brought up the bookbag - your diaper bag.”

“So...she looked in it?”

“It’s a funny story,” she said. “She wasn’t the one who found the book bag, it was the bus boy. He handed it to her saying that it came from her table, but she wasn’t sure which one. So of course, she opened the bag and hoped to find some contact information. And, wouldn’t you know, when she found giant adult-sized diapers she knew exactly who they belonged to.”

If only she could see my face, because it was beat red. She’d have loved it.

It made that entire scene seem completely different to me now. Raquelle had sprinted down the street after us with my book bag. And what was it she said? “It seems to me like you need that bag.”

“What did she say?”

“Hold up, Baby,” she cooed. “You may have more of the story as a reward for when you do more for me.”

“Yes, of course...Mommy. Anything.”

“Wet yourself.”

I was so eager to please her - and so eager to hear more about her conversation with Raquelle - that I was already wetting myself before she even finished her request.

“All done.” I said.

“Show it to me. I want to see.”

I quickly stood up and spun around, awkwardly aiming my cellphone’s camera up at my sagging wet bottom and snapped a few shots. I barely even reviewed them - they were almost immediately sent off to her phone.

Moments later I could hear her phone chime from her end. Another moment passed as she reviewed the evidence.

“A good angle,” she said. “Do you send a lot of photos of your wet diapers to people?”

“No...I never...I just…”

“I’m teasing you, Baby. Because it’s easy.”

I laughed, shaking my head. She could make such a fool out of me.

“She asked me - point blank - if you wore diapers,” she said, remaining true to her word and continuing the story. “I told her that you did. I told her you were a big baby and that I was your Mommy.”

“And...she was okay with that?”

“Oh, she thought it was a very strange thing,” Lucy said with a laugh. “She had so many questions.”

“Like what?”

“Do you own a permanent marker, Baby?” she asked.

“I...uh, yeah, I think so. Why?”

“Another task for another answer. Go fetch that marker.”

I didn’t have to go far to find one, thankfully. I snatched one from a cup of random pens on top of the desk in the bedroom.

“It’s red,” I said. “Is that okay?”

“I think that’ll do just fine,” she replied. “Now, this is going to be tricky. You know, since you’re a little baby and all. But I’m going to need you to write on the front of your diaper.”

“Y-yes, okay. What shall I write?”

“I think we should write exactly what you are. A pissy little baby.”

“Pissy little baby?”

“That’s it. Go on and write that for me, Baby. And then send me another picture.”

Slowly and carefully, I scrawled the words on the front of my diaper. I knew what she wanted to see: big obvious letters. I made them as big as I could.

PISSY

LITTLE

BABY

Another selfie was fired off to Lucy.

“Very good, baby. So, as I was saying, she had so many questions. She wondered if I changed your diapers. I told her that I had only changed one of your diapers so far - but it had been a bit of a mess. And, oh my, you should’ve heard how shocked she was that you actually made stinky poo-poos in your diaper. She almost didn’t believe me.”

“You...you told her that?”

“Oh yes,” she said. “And I told her that you loved it. I made sure to tell her about how hard you got when you filled your diaper for me.”

My heart raced. I felt sweaty. I could barely even see straight. I couldn’t believe what she was saying. I felt so...betrayed. Violated. Humiliated.

Aroused. I felt so aroused.

“Do you like hearing that?” she asked. “Do you like hearing that I’ve told all your dirty little secrets to a stranger?”

“Yes…”

“I thought you would. What are you going to do about it?”

“I…I’m going to…”

But I was already doing it. My hand was on the front of my diaper and I rubbed my stiff cock with the wet padding of my diaper while I moaned into the phone.

“That’s a good boy,'' she said. “I want you to keep going. You can do that for me, yes?”

“Yes… Yes, Mommy.”

“Good Baby. And when you’re about to come in your wet diaper, you’re going to take a video of it, right? So that Mommy can see?”

“Yes Mommy.”

It took an embarrassingly short time to get to that point. My mind was just about gone by that point - fried by both the thrill of being under Lucy’s virtual control and the thought that somewhere out there there was a woman named Raquelle who was doing god-knows-what with the knowledge that she had.

With one hand still stroking my diaper, the other stuck out with the phone again as I fumbled about and hoped to catch the magic on video.

I would climax almost immediately after, a humiliating series of moans and grunts. I had even attempted to announce that I was, indeed, a Pissy Little Baby, but the words came out as warped groans.

I couldn’t even bring myself to look at the video - I just sent it off to her.

“This is perfect,” she said. “Absolutely perfect.”

“Thank you,” I said, out of breath. “Thank you, Mommy.”

“Raquelle didn’t believe anything I told her, you know?” Lucy said. “She didn’t believe that you were that pathetic of a baby.”

“I am,” I said. “I...really am. Tell her that.”

“I did, but I don’t think my words were enough. I guess I’m going to have to show her. So, Baby, I thank you for providing me with enough proof tonight that I can send to her. I’m pretty sure she’ll believe me after this, wouldn’t you say?”

Sixteen.

It was starting to feel like a trend, where I’d wake up every morning wondering if the night before really happened or if it was a dream.

Ashley and Veronica making out in the kitchen. Ashley and I running into each other at the bar. My nights out with Lucy. That late night in bed with Veronica.

Over and over again, I found my mornings to be hazy and unclear for a while as I tried to piece together what was real and what might have actually been a dream.

But it was all real.

“I had worried last night was too much for you,” Lucy said.

There were times, upon reflecting on the night before, that I wondered if it had actually been too much. Was I biting off more than I could chew? Was I pushing myself to a point where I was in danger of losing touch with reality?

“I’m here, aren’t I?” I asked with a smile. I set my bookbag down on the ground and took my shoes off. We had discussed meeting at a bar again, but it made sense just to meet at her place; sooner or later, we’d just end up there anyway.

The night before was a lot. Sometimes it made me really nervous to think that what Lucy had said was true - that there was another woman, mostly a stranger even to Lucy, who not only knew about my most private fantasies but may have even had photographic evidence of it. But sometimes the idea really excited me.

I wanted to ask her if it was true, or perhaps, how much of it was true. She didn’t seem like the type who would lie to me, but I wondered if she had elaborated some of the details for the sake of getting me off. In the end, it made it more exciting to leave it as a mystery.

Raquelle may, or may not, know a lot of dirty, filthy things about me.

“I made us some drinks,” Lucy said. She set a single martini glass out on her counter, straining a red cocktail into it.

“Just...one?” I asked.

“Oh, well this one is mine,” she said. “Let me get you yours.”

She opened the fridge and pulled something from it. She set the object down on the counter next to her glass. It was a baby bottle filled with an amber liquid.

“What is this?” I asked with a laugh.

“Beer,” she said, giggling. “And there’s more where that came from. I have two more bottles waiting for you in the fridge.”

I shook my head. It was a cute, and humiliating, detail.

“I’d rather serve you just milk,” she said. “But it’s never fun to drink alcohol alone. Besides, this will help you fill that diaper for me.”

I felt my cheeks warm a little as I grabbed the bottle from the counter. I had no recollection of actually drinking out of a bottle before. I wondered why I hadn’t thought to do this sooner, when I was by myself. I put the nipple on my mouth, finding the sensation of sucking up through the nipple to be stranger than I thought it would be. The fizzy beer only added to the weirdness.

“Good baby,” she said. “Drink up. You are wearing a diaper, right?”

“Of course.”

“Well I shouldn’t have to tell you to take your pants off then. From now on, when you come into my apartment and you’re wearing a diaper, you should just remove your pants.”

“I can do that,” I said, unbuckling my belt so I could take my pants off. Judging by the look on her face, she didn’t seem completely satisfied with my response. I quickly added: “I can do that, Mommy.”

That yielded a smile. “Thank you, Baby.”

“Actually...uh, Mommy, I had something I wanted to ask you about.”

“Oh?” She had walked past me as I was stepping out of my pants, my thick diapers once again exposed. She took a seat on her loveseat. “Come here and tell Mommy about it.”

I quickly trotted to her side and began to sit next to her.

“No, no, Baby. Here.” She patted her lap.

I smiled bashfully, gladly taking a place in what was quickly becoming my favorite seat in the world.

“Now, what did you want to talk to Mommy about?”

It was suddenly hard to form words. As I spent more time with Lucy, she had progressively pushed me deeper into a more infantile headspace. This was intentional on her part, no doubt, but I was just as responsible. I wanted to be her baby, and I was quickly allowing myself to be as vulnerable as she wanted me to be.

“Uhm...Mommy…” I stopped and shook my head. I had sounded so pathetic. The tone of my voice had even unconsciously become more high-pitched and childlike.

“Go on, Baby,” she cooed.

I had to deliberately focus on what I wanted to say, lest I start actually babbling like a toddler. “My neighbor, Ashley? She’s having a party next weekend.”

“Ashley? She’s...your wife’s partner?”

“Ah...yes,” I said hesitantly. I forgot that I had talked about Ashley before. Of course I talked about Ashley before. “Well, she’s having a party, and she asked me to ask you if you wanted to come.”

“Is that so?” she asked, a playful grin on her face. “Does that mean you talk about me?”

“Well…”

She playfully poked my diaper. “Do you tell them about all the naughty things we’ve done?”

“N-no...I…”

“You don’t think they’d want to know?”

“I’m sure they’d love to know,” I said. “But they don’t.”

“I’m teasing you,” she said, her hand gently rubbing the front of my diaper. I slowly grew inside of it.

“I know. I just…”

“You’re worried that I’d go to her party and embarrass you?”

Actually, I’m more worried that they would be the ones to embarrass me in front of you.

“N-no…”

“I know how to behave like a civilized guest,” she said. Her hand never left my diaper. It was massaging my swollen cock through the padding. Never enough to get me off, but it was the source of a constant, subtle, pleasure.

“I know,” I said. “I know that. It’s all just new to me. These...worlds colliding, you know?”

“Well it means a lot that you asked me if I would like to go,” she said.

I let out a little moan as her hand gave my diaper a gentle squeeze.

“So you’ll go?”

“If you want me to go - if you’re comfortable with me going - I’ll go.”

I nodded. I smiled, for her sake, but the reality was that I was kind of terrified. For a million reasons. For reasons that I don’t think I had even thought of yet.

“But worlds colliding?” she asked. “I’m curious. Which worlds are those?”

I didn’t give the question much thought, answering off the top of my head: “Fantasy and reality, I guess.”

“Fantasy?” she asked. Her hand remained on my diaper, but it wasn’t moving as much. “Is that me? Am I fantasy?”

I sighed. Yes? “No. I just mean...it’s my wife, you know? And Ashley. And…”

“You’re cute when you get flustered,” she said, starting to rub my diaper again. “I can imagine what you mean. It’s your everyday life meeting the new kinky girl you’ve just started spending time with.”

“Yes, exactly,” I answered. “Yes, Mommy.”

She smiled and leaned in to kiss me. I was more than happy to reciprocate.

I worried that I had put the thought in her head that I did just see her as a “fantasy.” Worse, I worried that I hadn’t spent enough time figuring out what I wanted from Lucy and where this went if we continued seeing each other. It made me nervous.

Another problem for Future-Jaime.

“Are you going to wet your diaper for Mommy?”

It was as if she had complete control over my autonomy when she wanted it. I hadn’t even been thinking about needing to pee. Yet all she had to do was ask, and suddenly my bladder was begging for release.

“Yes, Mommy.”

“Don’t keep me waiting too long now, Baby.”

I didn’t give it much thought. I suddenly had to go, and so I just did - I’ve had more pause in times that I was by myself. Her hand was on the front of my diaper the entire time, feeling it swell and warm as it absorbed everything I pumped into it.

“Oh, good boy,” she cooed into my ear. “Very good. That didn’t seem hard at all, hmm?”

“No…”

“So tell me about this little shindig,” she said. It was a turn back to reality, but only slightly. Her voice still dripped with playful condescension.

“Well...Ashley wants to have a party,” I said. “And, like, she doesn’t really know a lot of people, you know? Because she’s new in town. And Veronica, well, she’s all about the parties so the two of them are already conspiring - or whatever it is they do - and Ashley asked me if I wanted to invite you. And, of course, the two of them think it’s a good idea and all, but…”

I realized I was rambling - I had already said most of this already. I was being less deliberate with my words and I had just vomiting sentences while most of my mind was lost elsewhere. I looked up to her face and saw an amused smile.

“So what do you want?” she asked. “Do you want me to come to this party?”

“I want you to go.”

“Then I’ll go,” she said. “Simple as that.”

“Thank you.”

“What is this Ashley like?” Lucy asked. Her leg had begun to tap up and down a little, bouncing me on her lap. It was so slow and subtle that I barely realized it was happening immediately, but by that time I already found myself comforted by the steady movement.

“Oh, she’s…” It occurred to me that there was another part of the story that Lucy didn’t know - or at least she didn’t know completely. “She’s....a baby.”

“Like...you?” Lucy asked.

I nodded.

“I thought your wife wasn’t one to engage with that.”

“She wasn’t. I’m not exactly sure what happened,” I said with a laugh. “But she changed her mind.”

“And she got to the baby girl before you did?”

“It...seems that way.” Maybe there was more to the story. Or, maybe, Lucy had simplified the essence of the past few weeks of my life.

“When we first started talking,” she said, her voice still rich with a maternal sweetness, “do you remember what you told me? About why you were looking to meet someone new?”

I probably could’ve found the answer if I thought about it enough. It wasn’t a great time for me to be thinking though. I shook my head.

“You said ‘revenge.’ And we both kind of laughed it off at the time. But I think that makes a lot more sense now.”

I felt a little ashamed. Regardless of how good I felt about Lucy and my time spent with her, I wondered if this context would sour how Lucy felt. Would she see herself as just a toy in a larger game?

“Here’s what I think,” she said. Her hand continued to massage my swollen soaked diaper and her mouth got a little closer to my ear again so that she could talk right into my brain. “If your wife and this Ashley want me to come to this party so they can size me up and feel superior about their own kinky little relationship, then I feel we should give them what they want.”

“Really?”

“Oh yes. We’ll make them jealous of us. They’ll see that your mommy takes very good care of her baby. We’ll make them so jealous that your wife will put a pair of pampers on herself and start wetting them for me.”

I didn’t exactly believe that would ever happen, but I certainly liked the spirit of what she was saying. And she was right - I had been apprehensive about the party for fear of being embarrassed by Ashley and Veronica. But why couldn’t it be them who were embarrassed instead?

If Lucy was a toy, she was the fanciest and most expensive toy.

Her hand lifted from my diaper. I let out a little whimper of disappointment, but was quickly comforted by the sight of her pulling her shirt off. She tossed it aside before removing her bra next.

In the seconds it took for her bra to come off, I considered how much of me she had seen in a relatively short amount of time. This was only our third time together, and she had already changed one of the messiest diapers I had ever worn. And while, yes, she had given me a rather close and personal look at her womanhood, her body still felt very mysterious to me.

But her breasts. Oh her breasts. They were perfect. I had seen amazing boobs before - Veronica’s were certainly nothing to sneeze at - but these appeared to be true works of art. Michelangelo himself may have carved these from marble. Spherical, smooth, and the perfect size for me to…

“Go on,” she said, her finger wiping away a little line of drool that had emerged from the corner of my mouth. “You want to taste them, yes?”

I eagerly nodded.

“Maybe someday they’ll fill your mouth with Mommy’s milk,” she cooed. “But today, let’s just see how it feels in your mouth, yes?”

I had never done this before as an adult. Or, maybe I had...it was hard to believe that I had just never suckled on a woman’s breast before in the throes of romance. The big difference now, though, was that I was wearing a wet diaper while sitting on the lap of someone who wanted me to imagine drinking milk from her chest.

“Oh…” she moaned as my mouth glomped around her nipple.

It felt so hilariously intuitive and natural.

“Are you sure you haven’t done this before?” she asked between her deep breaths and pleasured moans.

I could’ve answered, but I was happy where I was. She probably didn’t want me to answer either.

“So what do you think?” she asked while I suckled her breast. “Should I have you wear a diaper to this little party?”

My heart started beating faster and I could feel my sucking intensify. Maybe later I could worry about whether or not she meant that - or if it was even feasible. But right now, I was all in on anything she said.

“Wouldn’t that be precious?” she asked. “All your friends mingling and drinking cocktails like adults. Meanwhile, you’re waddling around in a thick diaper. And only you and I know it.”

I moaned into her soft skin.

“Actually, I suppose that wouldn’t be true. I’m sure your wife would be able to tell - especially if she’s changing diapers herself. And Ashley, yes? Who’d recognize a diapered baby better than another baby?

This scenario was actually a little frightening - but in a very exciting way. Realistic or not, I wanted to know how she saw this playing out.

“And, well, you know how it works when you’re in a diaper,” she continued. “Once you’re in a diaper, you’re not getting out of it until it needs to be changed. So as you try to blend in with the adults - drinking your alcohol and picking at the snacks - we both know that when you inevitably need to make your potties, there’s only one place that can happen.”

I watched it happening in my mind. Somewhere in the middle of a beer, a familiar pang of desperation hits me. I turn and look to Lucy - who knows exactly what that look is for. We’re going to be at this party for a while. Whether you do it now or later, it’s eventually happening at this party. In your diaper.

“Maybe you’ll be talking to me,” she said to me in the real world. “Maybe you’ll be talking to Ashley or Veronica. Maybe someone else entirely who has no idea that you’re just a big baby. But suddenly, there just isn’t much that you can do about it - you certainly can’t hold it, you’re too much of a baby - and you just wet yourself.”

I remembered the time that I had sent a photo of my soaking wet diaper to Ashley - back when she was just curious about diapers. Now I imagined standing right in front of her - at her own party - while I flooded my diaper. Would she know? Would she have already wet a diaper of her own?

“But it could be so much worse,” Lucy said, again speaking softly directly into my ear. “Couldn’t it? I mean, a little baby like you - you don’t know any better. You’re liable to just...grunt and push a big stinky load into the back of your diaper, aren’t you? Right there? In front of everyone?”

I didn’t even bother conjuring an imaginary scene for that. Her words were more than vivid enough.

“And you know what?” she asked. “I bet you’d love that. Sure, sure, maybe it’s scary and humiliating to think of, but I also think you’d love every second of it.”

I gently nodded my head as my mouth remained affixed to her breast.

“My goodness. What do you think people would say? What do you think they’d do? Here is this man, supposedly, who is suddenly squatting down so that he can try to load his diaper.”

This elicited a little whimper from me. But there was something else too. Just as she had been able to go and trigger me to wet my diaper earlier, this little fantasy scenario had begun to stir my bowels.

“Maybe they wouldn’t know what was happening,” she said. “I mean, yes, everyone who knows you’re a diaper-wearing baby would be in that room. But everyone else might be a little confused.”

On some level - the adult part of my brain who was now just hitching a ride - I knew that I had control over my bowels. But this would have been news to the rest of my mind. It was getting hard to hold on. I wasn’t even sure that I wanted to hold on much longer. Yes, that’s right, I wanted to please Mommy. And would anything please her more than if I just used my diaper?

“That’s what Mommy is for,” she continued. “See, whether or not I know that you’re just a baby who needs his diapers, I’d still need to act surprised. So you’d be grunting and pushing, while I feigned complete surprise. ‘Oh my! Are you...are you really pooping your diaper? Here? Now? Oh gosh, everyone, I’m so sorry! Oh dear...I think this is going to be a stinky one too…’ The look on everyone’s faces. Could you even imagine?”

I pulled my mouth from her breast. My voice quivered as I tried to communicate to her what was about to actually happen in her lap: “I...I’m going to…”

She put her hand on the back of my head and guided it back to her breast again. She didn’t need to hear the rest of what I had to say. Of course she didn’t. She knew exactly what was about to happen.

She knew exactly what she had done to me.

My bottom loudly announced the mess that was coming, and I felt the warm mass explode into my diaper. Sitting on her lap - like the last time - gave my mess few places to go, and it spread in every direction. All the while I suckled her breast obediently.

“That’s a good baby,” she said, her hand stroking the bloated padding between my legs. “Did you get it all out? Maybe give me one more push just to make sure.”

I was just her puppet, and when she asks me to push again, I push. With my eyes closed tight, I gave a final grunt as I pushed on my bowels. Despite feeling like I had nothing left to force out, I felt another soft pocket slip into the diaper.

She hummed with satisfaction as she felt the diaper get a little more full. “What a good little boy. I just knew you had a little bit left in you. Better in your diaper than in your belly, yes?”

She gave me a playful poke in my stomach, yielding a giggle from me.

“Can I show you something?” She took my hand and guided it into her pants and under her panties. Before I even touched her dripping labia I could tell how wet she was from how damp her panties were.

She gave the front of my diaper a firm squeeze.

“Before I change that absolutely loaded diaper, do you think you can be a big boy long enough to fuck me?”

I nodded eagerly.

“That’s what I thought. Let’s go.”

Seventeen.

What is that smell?

It was me. I wasn’t sure if the smell of my diaper was what woke me up or not, but it certainly helped me snap out of any lingering drowsiness.

Lucy and I were spooning on her bed. She was, obviously, the big spoon. The lights were still on, but I could see the black of night through the window still. I spotted a clock: 1:19 AM. Earlier than I thought it was.

My stirring had, in turn, helped to stir her.

“Did we...pass out?” she asked.

I nodded. “Seems like it.”

“Makes sense,” she said. “That was...intense.”

That was no exaggeration. Those memories would remain laser-etched in my brain for the rest of my life. I had been on my back, naked except for my beyond-loaded diaper. She had pulled my cock out and had proceeded to ride on top of it, her body bouncing up and down on my diaper.

“Tell me what you are,” she had demanded as she bounced on my shaft.

“I’m a baby!”  I had loudly exclaimed in response. “I’m...just a baby!”

“You stink,” she said to me now.

“I know. I’m, uh, sorry about that…” I was afraid to sit up, I had no idea where the firm mass in my diaper was going to go.

“Don’t apologize,” she said. “We just need to change you, that’s all. Stay there. I’ll get your diaper bag. You better hope that you don’t get a diaper rash.”

She slid off the bed, making no effort to conceal herself as she strolled across the bedroom and out the door. Her curvy body was a pleasure to behold, and it still seemed unreal that I was here with her now. Having done everything that we had done. Everything that we would do.

“You’re so much more than just a baby,” she had said. “Go on. Tell me what else you are.”

“I’m a dirty little…”

“You’re not just ‘dirty,’” she had said. “You can do better than that.”

“I’m a…dirty...er...disgusting little...poopy-pantsed...brainless...toddler…”

That had been around the time that I began to come. She then proceeded to come hard while atop me as well. Things got a little fuzzy after that.

And then I woke up stinky.

She returned with the diaper bag, setting it down on the bed next to me.

“Is this how the night usually goes for you after sex?” she asked. “Getting your diaper changed?”

“This would be the first time,” I said. “But...I worry that I may get used to this.”

“Is that so bad?” she said with a laugh.

“I suppose not, no.”

She pulled back the diaper’s tapes one at a time. With each one, my heart raced a little faster. I knew she could handle a very messy diaper - but that didn’t stop me from growing increasingly nervous about what her reaction would be when she finally opened this one.

“A messy messy boy,” she cooed as she finally pulled the front of the diaper back to reveal the disaster contained within. “It’s a good thing you’re in diapers.”

“I...probably wouldn’t have done that if I wasn’t wearing one,” I said with a smirk.

“Can we be so sure?” she asked as she waved a hand in front of her face.

“You made me do it!”

“I’m not sure if that’s true at all.”

“But you told me to…”

She tilted her head and laughed, waiting to see where I was going to go with that. When I recalled the moments leading up to filling my diaper on her lap, I realized that she had never actually told me to do that. Was she counting on the fact that I would have? Most certainly. But I had taken the initiative on that.

I felt myself blushing.

“That’s what I thought,” she said. “Little baby wasn’t told to do anything. You just went ahead and made a stinky poo right in Mommy’s lap all on your own. Didn’t you?”

“I...well…”

She took my hand in hers. For a moment I thought she was just holding my hand, but she lifted my hand to my face instead.

“Why don’t you just be a good boy and suck your thumb for me while I clean you up, yes?”

For a brief moment there - even though I was getting my diaper changed - I was starting to feel like an adult again. But in just a moment, by slipping my own thumb into my mouth, she had managed to regress me back to a dumb little baby again.

I was never much of a thumbsucker. I didn’t dislike it - it just wasn’t something I thought to do often. Now, however, it felt like a revelation. This was bliss. Now? Now I was a thumbsucker. I decided I was just going to stare up at the ceiling mindlessly while sucking my thumb until she was done changing me.

Between my legs, I felt her slowly and methodically wiping my skin clean before lifting my legs so she could pull the nasty old diaper away. More wiping.

I moaned a little. I couldn’t help it.

“Oh...do you like that?” she asked with a little laugh. “Do you like when Mommy wipes up your dirty little hole?”

“Uhmm…” I wanted to actually say words, but my own thumb reminded me that I wasn’t supposed to be talking.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” she said.

She lingered there a little longer, slowly circling my backdoor with a damp wipe. I felt my body tense as she played with my bottom, occasionally letting the tip of a finger slip inside me.

“If you want more,” she finally said, “you’ll just have to wait until the next diaper change. And we can almost guarantee that there’s going to be one of those, yes?”

I moaned in disappointment, not that she seemed to care much.

A fresh diaper was slid under me as she lifted my legs and ass into the air. A thick and healthy coat of baby powder later and I was sealed into the diaper. As dreadfully naughty as it had felt to be in my disgusting diaper for an extended amount of time, the new diaper had me feeling fresh and revitalized again. It certainly made the room smell better.

She helped me to my feet. There was probably a time - not that long ago - when I would’ve looked down at myself and have felt a little silly about seeing a big poofy diaper while in the presence of someone else. But it was already feeling normal. Expected.

“You barely touched your baby bottle,” she teased.

“My mouth was...occupied.”

“What I should do is dump it down your diaper. It’s probably the only way not to waste it at this point.”

I sighed, fearful but accepting of my fate, if that was what she chose.

“I just put you into a fresh diaper,” she said. “Extra baby powder too - I’m hoping you wake up your wife with the scent of your tush.” For good measure, she gave the diaper a playful slap, summoning a cloud of powder from the waist. “I can pour beverages down your pants another time.”

Our arms wrapped around each other again and we kissed. It was good. Warm. Tender. But...though I couldn’t quite place it, there was another feeling there that I couldn’t define. It wasn’t as positive of a feeling, which didn’t make sense to me. Lucy was everything I always wanted. She was perfect. A dream partner and a dream mommy. I quickly brushed away the feeling. I was tired and it had been a long, interesting night. Maybe it was the sort of thing worth reflecting on when I was feeling fully energized.

“Did you have a good night?” she asked.

“The best time,” I answered. “It’s getting harder and harder to go home. You keep treating me like this and you’re legitimately going to be the full-time mother to a baby boy.”

“Would that be the worst thing to ever happen?” she asked with a coy smile.

I was rendered speechless, my crimson cheeks communicating for me instead.

“I know you need to go home,” she said, slowly running a finger down my face. “But…”

“But?”

“I just… Oh, I don’t know. I wasn’t going to say anything but then tonight happened and now I’m...feeling all sorts of things, I guess.”

My pulse was getting faster. I was curious to see where she was going with this. “Things? What sort of things?”

She leaned in, kissing me again - one of those extra deep and passionate kisses that made me want to float away. It had been a long time since I kissed someone like that.

“I know that I said I wasn’t looking for a relationship,” she said. “And, well, I’m not saying I want to marry you or anything but… I guess I really like you. I feel like we’re good for each other, right? This is good. This is fun. I want to keep seeing you.”

At the forefront of my mind, I was inclined to agree with her. This was good. This was fun. This was everything I had ever wanted and Lucy was amazing.

Yet somewhere in the deeper recesses of my consciousness, someone had pulled out the gong and a bullhorn. Don’t you dare say anything to her. You need to think about this.

“Of course,” I said. “I really like you too. I hope we see a lot more of each other.”

This answer pleased her and she kissed me again.

“Okay. Go. Get out of here. Get your fluffy butt home before you go and stink it up again.”

After I got dressed, she walked me to the door.

“You don’t think I’m crazy, do you?” she asked.

“Crazy? No! Why would I think that?”

“Maybe I just feel crazy,” she said with a laugh. “In the grand scheme of things, we barely know each other, and yet when I’m with you I just know that we have this connection, right? It feels good.”

“I know exactly what you mean.”

We shared one last kiss before I left.

--

I know exactly what you mean.

My own words rolled around in my mind the entire trip home and then later while I was under the covers in bed.

Lucy had said that whenever we were together, that she knew that we shared a connection. Yes. Yes, I did know what she meant by that.

Except it had occurred to me - somewhere between that conversation and the present - that my own experience with that feeling wasn’t from when I was with her.

Furthermore, it explained the undefinable feeling in my gut while we kissed. That feeling of something being off while I was in the company of the most amazing and perfect woman.

My heart was already reserved for someone else.

Ashley.

This realization was far less surprising than it should’ve been.

I have always believed in the ability to love more than one person. It was the basis of Veronica and I’s attempt at an open relationship once upon a time, and regardless of any other circumstances, it was the foundation for whatever Veronica and I were doing now. Polyamory, or non-monogamy - whatever you wanted to call it - I believed in it in my soul.

But for as long as I was lost in my own thoughts about my feelings for Ashley, it was as if there was no space for anyone else.

There were more questions that I had for myself. For example: If I wasn’t actually letting Lucy into some sort of relationship space with me...what was I doing?

I was afraid to answer that, for fear that I’d reveal something about myself that I’d rather not have to address at that moment.

--

“So did she, like, break off the lid to the baby powder bottle and proceed to pour the entire thing into your diaper?”

Lucy wouldn’t have the satisfaction of my well-powdered diaper waking Veronica up, but she probably would’ve settled for a snarky comment made during breakfast.

“It might have been a bit much,” I said. The fact that I could smell the fresh scent of the baby powder over the cup of coffee I had just poured myself was saying something.

“It’s cute,” she said.

“Cute? You think smelling like this is cute?”

She nodded. “I’d say so. Smells like there’s a baby in the house.” She put a finger to her chin and looked around, dramatically acting as if a mystery was afoot. “Ah yes. There is a baby in the house.”

I sighed, collapsing into a chair so I could drink my coffee - another small cloud of powder poofing into the air. The comic timing couldn’t have been better if this was a story that someone was writing.

“I’ve got to hand it to Lucy,” Veronica said, somehow looking even more smug than she had a moment earlier. “She knows how to leave her mark. It’s inspiring, really. I’m looking forward to meeting her at Ashley’s party.”

I just about choked on my coffee.

She added: “You did ask her if she’d go, yes? Not only am I looking forward to meeting her, but I’m sure Ashley would be heartbroken if she couldn’t make it.”

“I asked her to come,” I said.

“And?”

“I’m pretty sure she’s coming.”

“Good,” she said. “How do you feel about that?”

Nervous as fuck. “I think it’ll be good.”

She raised an eyebrow suspiciously. She knew me well.

“Everyone knows too much about me,” I said. I tried to play it off as a joke, but my tone likely hinted at my anxiety more than I would’ve liked.

“Not everyone,” she said. “Just me. And Lucy. Oh, and Ashley too. But it’s not like we’re making you parade around in your diaper for everyone to see.”

I had flashbacks of Lucy’s little fantasy.

“I know this…”

“We’re adults. Well...some of us more than others. But this isn’t going to be that kind of party. Nobody wants to humiliate you. Embarrass and tease you? Sure, maybe a little. But I’d likely have done that even if I didn’t know you were a baby. Speaking of which…”

“Yes?” I took another sip of coffee.

“Will you be wearing a diaper to the party?”

“What? I mean.... Didn’t you just say that it...wasn’t that kind of party?”

She shrugged nonchalantly. “I’m just asking. I think I have Ashley convinced that she should wear one. Maybe it’d be nice if you did the same? Solidarity among the babies?”

Lucy and I had talked about it in a fantastical way, but I hadn’t given it actual consideration. Veronica was, unfortunately, right - it would probably mean a lot to Ashley if she wasn’t the only one at her party secretly wearing a diaper under her clothing. And Lucy would certainly enjoy it. And, on top of all of that, none of us would want to expose that truth. Not in front of Ashley’s friends. Our friends. Her coworkers.

It seemed like a win-win to me.

“If Lucy is going, I’ll wear one,” I said.

“That makes sense,” she said. “You’d want someone there who could take care of you if you made a pee-pee in your pants.”

I felt like I was back in Lucy’s lap all over again. I felt myself stiffening in my diaper.

Perhaps having met her quota for teasing me this morning, she abruptly changed the subject: “Do you have plans for this evening?”

“No. Why do you ask?”

“I was supposed to help Ashley with getting some things set up in her apartment tonight, but I’m probably going to be running late. Do you think you’d mind running over to her place after work and giving her a hand?”

My heart fluttered a little. More time spent alone with Ashley? I was absolutely in.

“I suppose I could,” I said, playing it cool.

--

A little thought had grown in my mind while I worked that day. It was the next part of that conversation with myself about what I was supposed to do with Lucy.

If the thing that was holding me up was Ashley, maybe I needed to talk to Ashley about it. Maybe she needed to know how I felt about her. Or, maybe, I needed to know that she felt the same way.

And even if it scared the hell out of me, maybe there was no better time to do it then when I went to her place that night.

Eighteen.

Ashley, perhaps knowing that I would be coming over to her place that night before I even did, had texted me to let me know that I could just let myself in whenever I got there.

While at work, in my most fantastical daydreams, I’d open the door and find herself in just a diaper, bent over the arm of her couch with her poofy bottom facing me. She had been waiting for me there so that as soon as I walked in, I would have to watch as she pushed and filled the seat of her diaper.

I spent most of the day debating with myself as to whether or not I’d wear one to see her. I worried that if I did wear one, it would come with presumptions with how the night would go. And if I was just going as a favor, maybe it’d be best if I was there just to help.

But I could also guess what she’d say if I asked her.

Finally at her door that evening, I found myself mid-knock and stopped myself before my knuckles met the heavy door. I found the doorknob to be unlocked, as expected, and let myself in.

She was not bent over the couch. A little disappointing, but I had probably set myself up for that disappointment.

“Ashley? It’s me, Jaime.” There was no immediate answer, so I ventured a little further in.

The apartment was in a little bit of disarray. It was hard to say if Ashley was just a little less tidy, or if this was just what things looked like while she moved things around for the party. It was far from a disaster, but everything had an unkempt quality to it that reminded me of when I had my first apartment in my early 20s.

Sometimes it felt like there was no difference at all - especially when we were both obsessing over baby things - but once in a while I’d find a subtle reminder of our age-gap. It never felt wrong. Regardless of her attire and hobbies, she was an adult. If anything, the age-gap just served to embarrass me. Even older and still in diapers?

Should I be better than this? Maybe I was missing out on an opportunity to be a daddy.

My eyes scanned around the apartment, spotting a baby bottle on the counter next to her sink. It immediately made my insides flutter a little. Getting excited by seeing a baby bottle is exactly why you aren’t anyone’s daddy.

“Jaime!” Ashley emerged from the bedroom with a big happy smile.

She, of course, looked amazing. She was wearing denim shortalls with a pastel pink shirt under it - an adorably toddler-esque look that was perfect for her.

“You look adorable,” I said. I couldn’t have hid my glee if I wanted to.

“Would you believe me if I said that I owned these before I...uh...met you?”

I nodded. “It seems like maybe you knew you were a big baby long before you moved in here.”

“On some level, maybe,” she laughed.

We walked towards each other and hugged. She felt so perfect against me. Her shorter height just seemed to be the perfect fit for hugging. Later, undoubtedly, I’d add this to my list of reasons I was crazy about her. It would be best not to dwell on that too much now.

“So, what are we doing here tonight?” I asked.

She laughed and looked around. “Everything, I guess? Vee had a plan, and I think she assumed I was on the same page. But...I’m not a party planner like she is.”

“Nobody is,” I laughed. “She’s on another level.”

“I guess we just have to move the couch and some chairs over there,” she said, pointing to the living room. “And then there will be some tables over here,” she said as she pointed to the partial wall that separated the living room from the kitchen, “so that we can put food and drinks on it.”

“That doesn’t seem like that much work,” I said. “The way Veronica asked me to come over, I thought I’d be building a stage.”

“Oh, well, we do need a stage. You know, for the baby dance-off?”

“I know you’re kidding,” I replied, “but just the thought of that makes my heart want to leap out of my chest.”

“Do you dance?” she asked.

“No. Or at least not well.”

She laughed. “I don’t either. But I’ve never let that stop me before.”

Maybe this was the big difference between us, looking at the bigger picture. She was way more comfortable in her skin than I was in mine. Dancing, diapers...it didn’t matter. I wish I had more of her confidence.

“There’s really not that much to do tonight,” Ashley said. “But I probably would’ve procrastinated everything until the last day if I was left to my own devices,” she said.

“Ah, I see,” I said with a laugh. “So I’m a babysitter?”

“If that’s the case, she couldn’t have picked a worse one. You’re a baby yourself.”

I was tempted to feign offense, but I just had to laugh instead.

“You are a baby?” she asked. “Aren’t you?”

“Do I look like a baby to you?” I asked with a mischievous smile.

“Not so much on the outside,” she said, tapping her lips with a finger. “But it’s always what’s on the inside that counts. Drop your pants, mister. Let’s see.”

“Wh-what? You expect me to…”

“You show me yours and I’ll show you mine.”

There was no further hesitation on my part. I let my navy slacks fall to the floor, revealing the diaper that I had opted to wear tonight. Apparently, that was the right decision.

“I just knew it,” she said with a giggle. “A baby!”

“Okay, fine. But now you.”

“Okay, well...I’m in these shortalls and…”

“Do you need help?”

She blushed, flustered. “Don’t be silly! I know how to take this thing off. I wear it all the time and…” She fumbled with the metal grommets that the shoulder straps attached to, but she seemed to be having a challenging time with it. “Okay...maybe a little help?”

I walked to her and carefully helped to unfasten the shoulder straps. It was a tragedy to watch the shortalls fall to the ground - they were just so fucking adorable. But the new sight in their place was just as cute; cuter, maybe. It was just a thick cream colored diaper with little cartoon fish on them, her cute pink tee barely covering her midriff.

“New diapers?” I asked.

“Mommy...er...Vee… She bought them for me. Had them delivered here yesterday.”

I felt a small jolt of jealousy, but I tried to shake it off.

“They’re cute. And you look cute in them. Not that, uh, you need any help from diapers to look cute.”

She leaned forward, kissing my mouth. It was everything. It was the most completing feeling I had had since...probably the last time we had kissed. Kissing Lucy was good; great even. But this? This was prime rib compared to a hamburger.

Our arms were wrapped around each other, the top of her diaper just rubbing against the bottom of mine.

“I was going to wear a diaper to your party,” I said. “Is that silly?”

“Vee said that I should too,” Ashley said. “But that doesn’t mean that it’s not silly.”

“How do you feel about that? Nervous?”

“No…” She sighed. “Yes, actually.”

I laughed, happy to hear that. I wasn’t sure that Veronica or Lucy understood exactly how I felt about it. “Okay, good. Me too.”

“I’ve got this dress I want to wear,” she said. “It’s...it's ridiculous. It’s short and girly and…”

“It sounds exactly like something you would wear,” I said with a laugh.

“I don’t want to show you right now.” She looked up at me, smirking. “I’m afraid you’re going to cream your diaper when you see it.”

“And so you’d rather show me at the party? So I, uh, ‘cream my diaper,’ in front of a bunch of strangers?”

She shrugged and giggled again.

“It does just about nothing to hide my diaper,” she added. “So, like, there’s a part of me that knows I probably shouldn’t wear it. But I just want to. I need to.”

“You could wear something over the diaper? Uh...bloomers?”

“Bloomers?” Ashley laughed. “Yeah...maybe. I’ll figure something out. Lucy is coming, right?”

I sighed. “I think so.”

“Good.”

“Can I be honest about that? I’m really nervous about it.”

She hugged me a little tighter. “Really?”

“I don’t know. Like...I know that nobody wants to...I don’t know, make a scene? Do anything embarrassing? But with you, and her, and Veronica all in the same room, and with all of us knowing so much about...well...the stuff we’re doing…”

“Now you’re going to make me nervous,” Ashley said.

“Like I said, I know that nothing bad is going to happen. Maybe it would be different if we had all met each other first? Like, not at a party.”

“That might have been worse,” she said.

“How so?”

“Like, in private? There’s no way that you and I wouldn’t have ended the evening crawling around the floor for their amusement.”

She was probably right. But would that have been so bad?

“I guess it’s working,” she said.

“What’s working?”

“Well...I want to get everything done now in the apartment now.”

I laughed. “Is that the kind of effect I have on you?”

“No, silly. If we get everything done quickly, we have more time to...play.”

“Ah, yes,” I said, blushing. “Well...let’s, uh, hurry up.”

I did the heavy lifting, moving a couch to a new location, setting up a table, and relocating a small bookshelf to make room for the table. She was mostly just picking up after herself, grabbing loose pieces of clothing that seemed to litter every corner of her apartment.

In particular, I spotted a small baby blue bra that I found quite cute. In the middle of trying to imagine what she looked like while wearing it, she scooped it up, her face pink with embarrassment.

“I’m not like this all the time,” she said.

“I think you really do need a babysitter,” I teased.

“Ugh...I probably do.”

It felt good to be the one doing the teasing instead of getting teased, for once. “They’d have their work cut out for them, right? They’d have to clean up your room and clean up your diaper.”

“H-hey,” she said, her hands on her hips in an act of faux anger. “I...Nobody has to...I...keep my diaper clean.”

“That’s not what I heard,” I said with a shrug.

“What...what did you hear?”

“I heard you make big ol’ messes in your diaper.”

She laughed as she finally exhaled. “Ah...okay. Now I know you’re joking.”

“You don’t?”

“Well, not that anybody has seen.”

“Not Veronica?”

“Not yet,” she said.

“But...you’ve…?”

She nodded. “Once. I was...curious.”

“You don’t have to defend it,” I said. “We’re both babies here.”

“I know. It’s just...embarrassing.”

“Did you...like it?”

She blushed brighter, her mouth stuck in a semi-open state as I watched her search for the right words. She gave up and just nodded.

“I like it too,” I said. “I mean...I could easily see why someone wouldn’t. But, there’s nothing in this world that makes me feel so…”

“Small?” She asked, finally speaking.

I nodded.

“Yeah. I felt that, for sure.”

“So you’d do that again?”

Now she nodded.

I wanted to ask her if she would do it for me. For the briefest of moments, the words were in my mouth, ready to spit out. At the last moment, I abandoned that plan. It was probably for the best. For now.

“Are you going to poop your pants at my party?” she asked, her smile warding away any lingering pinkness in her cheeks. “Are you going to be a party pooper?”

I couldn’t tell if she was being serious or if she was just trying to make a joke.

“I will if you do.”

“Are you sure?” she asked.

I nodded.

“I’ll remember that.”

There was something else I wanted to say. There were a thousand things I wanted to say, of course, but one thing in particular. It had been stewing in my brain all day, if not longer. I kept looking for the chance to slide it into a conversation, but I was becoming increasingly convinced that there was no such thing as a perfect moment.

Maybe it’d be for the best if I just let it go. There weren’t many places this conversation could go, and a negative reaction, just before her party, probably wouldn’t be what either of us wanted.

“You okay?” she asked.

I sighed. “Uh, yeah.”

But she could see through that. Maybe anyone could’ve. But I was going to tell myself that she could see through me in that moment because there was a deeper connection than we had admitted to.

“I don’t completely believe that,” she said.

“It’s nothing that is going to help anyone right now,” I said. Words that almost guaranteed to make anyone who heard them more curious - not less.

“Well I don’t want to pry,” she said. “If you want to talk about something, just talk. I promise I’ll listen.”

I was going to say more, but before I could, she began to take off her pink tee. Under it she wore a simple white bra. It was a silly detail, but it seemed like the most perfect thing she could have been wearing under her shirt - if it had to be anything at all.

“We’re done now,” she said softly. “With all that work. See? There wasn’t much.”

“So now…”

“Now we can play,” she said. “Do you want to play?”

“What game?” I asked.

“Any of them. All of them.”

She turned, walking into her bedroom. I followed, taking off my shirt and undershirt as I did. By the time we both made it to her bed, neither of us were wearing a thing except for our diapers. She crawled onto her bed first, pushing off a few more random shirts and pants. She had even picked up a pair of her panties and held it up in her fingers so we could both see it. They were black with lace details. We both laughed. It wasn’t funny, per se, but it did seem a little absurd. There was a time in life when we wanted panties and underwear to replace our diapers. Now look at us.

I followed her, crawling up next to her. We lay side by side, cuddling as we rubbed our noisy crinkling padding together.

“I like having a Mommy,” she said randomly.

I nodded. I wasn’t going to dispute that.

“I like being taken care of. I like being in this space where I can do...anything, right? Like, I can just shut off and be nothing. Or be silly. And it doesn’t matter, because she’s there to cheer me on and take care of me.”

I got that. Lucy had me in that exact place.

“But...I like this too,” she said, staring into my eyes. “You get me in a different way. And...I don’t know. Maybe you know me better than I know me. Because, like...you used to be me? Does that make sense? Or am I rambling? Because sometimes when I get nervous I…”

“You’re fine,” I said. “And I get what you mean. I like spending time with Lucy. I like all the things she does for me and her complete willingness to let me just...be me. But, when I’m with you, I feel like…” I had no idea what words I wanted to use. But she was already nodding her head and smiling.

Her wet lips pressed against mine. We shared a long tender kiss before she pulled back again.

Her cheeks were pink again. “I...Can I...Do you mind if I…”

“Just do it,” I said. “Whatever you want to do, just go ahead and do it.”

For a moment - and it was hard to say exactly how long that moment was - where nothing seemed to happen. I was on edge, waiting for something - anything. Was she going to say something? Show me something?

But then I felt it. My diaper was starting to feel warm. But that’s impossible. I’m not…

It wasn’t me, it was her. She was wetting her diaper as it was pressed against mine. The wetter her diaper got, the warmer it was making mine.

“It’s a shame there are no babysitters,” I said. “Who is going to change you?”

She shrugged. “Not my problem.”

She held my face in her hands and kissed me again. I moaned as her tongue entered my mouth. It was a jolt of electricity through my body. It was a door opening to all the things I wanted so badly.

My baby-brain knew only of one way to react to this. I began pissing my diaper too. I had thought so little about this that I was actually confused about what was happening as I began to wet myself. Wait, what’s happening?

“Oh,” she said, her eyes widening. “Are...are you?”

I nodded.

“Oh my god,” she said. It was a face I had never seen of hers before. Sheer primal desire. Want. Need. We were just stupid babies and nothing had ever felt as good as pressing our diapers together as we pissed ourselves.

It could’ve been the greatest moment in my entire life. It could’ve led to the most intense night of naughty, twisted, kinky fun.

All I had to do was not screw it up by not saying anything profoundly stupid, like…

“A-Ashley?”

“Yeah?”

“I...love you. I’m in love with you.”

Nineteen.

“You look like you need your diaper changed,” Veronica said with a smirk.

“Huh?”

“You’ve got this pout on your face,” she said. “I don’t know what your problem is. I have to assume you’ve got something in your diaper.”

“Oh...uh...I’m not wearing a diaper.”

For a moment, I wondered what gave her the impression that I was pouting. I had just been sitting at the kitchen table, as I did every morning. But as I brought my full coffee mug to my lips, the liquid was cool to the touch. How long had I just been staring off into space?

“I can help you with that,” Veronica said.

“A diaper?”

She shrugged. “I’m getting better at putting them on Ashley. I could show you.”

Was Veronica now offering to put a diaper on me? Down was up. Left was right. I worried that I was dreaming, but the taste of the cooled coffee only seemed to spike my senses - not wake me up.

Any other time, I probably would’ve leapt at this chance. I would’ve killed for her to say those words to me a year ago. Hell, a few weeks ago. A week ago.

“Can I take a raincheck on that?” I asked.

“I don’t know,” she said with a shrug. “It might have been a one-time offer. Ask me again when you want to collect, and I’ll let you know if it’s still on the table.”

I had been in a mood for the last few days. I wasn’t mad. I wasn’t even sad. I was just a little burned out. I had been feeling too much lately, and I didn’t want to feel anymore.

“Seriously,” she said. “What’s going on with you?”

“Oh, nothing, I…”

“Don’t tell me ‘nothing.’ You’ve been moping around the apartment for a while now.”

“Have I?” I knew that I had, but I really thought I was doing a better job of hiding it.

“Since the other night,” she said. “When you went over to Ashley’s? I feel like you’ve been a puddle of depression ever since. Did something happen over there?”

“No,” I said. That wasn’t a lie, even if it omitted a lot of other information. Actually, it might have been a lie.

“I asked Ashley,” she said. “She claims nothing happened either. Though she doesn’t look like a grumpasaurus, so I guess I believe her. But you? I don’t know.”

“I’m fine,” I said, trying my best to shake off some of my ‘bad vibes.’ “Really, I’m okay. Maybe I’m just tired or something.”

“Ashley’s party is tonight,” Veronica said. She didn’t need to tell me that. “Are you going to be okay to go?”

I nodded. “Of course.” A fake smile and: “I really am looking forward to it.”

--

“I... love you. I’m in love with you.”

I probably could’ve gotten away with saying a lot of things in that moment. I could’ve said something sexy. I could’ve said something silly. I could’ve pretended to talk like a baby and that probably would’ve been both silly and sexy. But I said the one thing that Ashley probably hadn’t been expecting me to say.

She just stared at me. She didn’t say anything, and her face seemed to be completely blank. I began to wonder if I should say it again. Or, if I should never say it again and hope that we were somehow able to forget that this happened.

Her phone chirped. Saved by the goddamn bell, apparently.

She grabbed for her phone and quickly read the screen.

“It’s, uh, Veronica,” she said, scratching her head. “She just got home and she’s going to come see us in a few minutes.”

“Oh.” It didn’t immediately occur to me why that was a problem. Then I remembered that we were only wearing diapers. “Oh!”

“We should get dressed,” Ashley said.

“Yes! Of course.”

And with just moments to spare, we managed to get back into our clothes and busy ourselves in her apartment so that when Veronica came in, she just saw me straightening the table, and Ashley picking up a few random items.

After that, we interacted only when we had to. Everything felt awkward and forced.

--

Ashley and I hadn’t revisited the conversation since. No text messages. No conversations. Nothing. The longer this radio silence went, the harder it was to be the one to initiate a conversation again. Was she mad at me? Was she consumed with regret for having fooled around with me in the first place? If she wasn’t reaching out to me, maybe it was because she didn’t want to talk.

I had every intention of being patient while I gave her space. But those good intentions quickly faded, giving way to panicked anxiety. That, in turn, gave way to the assumption that I had broken everything. I wondered - worried - how far down things would break. Would Ashley talk to Veronica?

Breathe in. Breathe out.

I had no desire to go to the party now. Especially with Lucy coming. The thought of having to balance the introduction of Lucy with having to pretend that there wasn’t some awkward tension with Ashley was enough to make me want to hail a taxi and leave town for long enough that I missed the party altogether.

Lucy: It’s the big night, right? The party! Still nervous?

It was probably not the best idea to respond to her text with a series of screaming emojis.

Me: I’ll always be a little nervous. How are you feeling? Excited?

Lucy: Excited, yes. I’m excited to see you again. And I guess I’m excited to learn a little more about your world. Your ecosystem.

Me: Gosh, I don’t think anyone has ever asked to see my ecosystem before. I’m blushing!

If anything was going to save me from becoming a panicked mess, it was going to be humor.

Lucy: Do you have to be there at, like, the start of the party?

Me: Oh, I don’t know. I mean, I guess it's not my party, so I could probably show up whenever I wanted. Why?

Lucy: I was just thinking that maybe I don’t want to walk into a party full of strangers alone. Maybe you and I can meet up first? We could pre-game it with a drink and then head to the party together?

Me: That’s a great idea. There’s a bar near my apartment building. When you’re close by tonight, just let me know and I can meet you there.

Lucy: :)

This might have been the best case scenario. If I needed to feel secure and calmed, maybe my best bet was sticking close to Lucy - who was practically a human security blanket herself.

In fact, I could already feel myself slowly coming back to Earth. I could breathe again.

Soon after, I caught Veronica in the kitchen, grabbing a few final things for a box of supplies she was bringing up to Ashley’s.

“I’m heading upstairs,” she said. “I’ll probably be up there for the rest of the day.”

“Did you need my help with anything for the party?” I asked. Considering that I had already made plans with Lucy, I was hoping that the answer was no.

“That’s nice of you to ask,” she said. “But I think we’re done. Just making some food at this point.”

“Are you expecting a big turnout?”

“It’ll be a decent group, I think. A number of people that Ashley works with will be there. I’ve invited some friends too. The fun people. Hopefully it gives her a chance to make some more friends. Oh, you know who’s coming?”

I shook my head. I could be guessing all day.

“Henry and Lily. It’s been a while since we’ve seen them.”

“Oh yeah,” I said, scratching my head. “Weren’t they just on vacation?”

“I think they were up in the country for a week,” she said. “Not my kind of vacation, but they seemed to enjoy it.”

I shrugged. It’d be nice to see them again.

“What time are you coming tonight?” she asked.

“Well, I was going to meet with Lucy first and then I figure we’d show up together, so…”

“Alright,” she said with a smile. It seemed genuine, though what did I know? “Try not to be too late. And if Lucy could be sure to change your diaper before your arrival, I think that’d be best for everyone.”

I blushed a little at her playful jab and watched her leave. I wondered what the world would be like the next time I saw her. I still couldn’t even begin to imagine what it was going to be like at this party.

I was getting a little nervous again.

Breathe in. Breathe out.

--

“You look stressed,” Lucy said. “You aren’t being shot into space, it’s just a party.”

“Being shot into space doesn’t sound so bad,” I said.

We hugged outside, her hands taking it upon themselves to give my bottom an inspecting squeeze. They’d be content with what they found.

“You do realize that this means I have to check that diaper throughout the night,” she said.

I nodded.

“I’m not sure what to tell you,” she said with a laugh. “You look stressed, and yet you seem to invite this stress.”

I sighed while I shrugged. “Yeah...I’m a complicated beast.”

“Aren’t we all? Let’s get a drink in us. A drink and a shot? That should help loosen us up a little.”

I needed some loosening up. The party ‘officially’ started soon. More than enough time for us to share a drink or two.

We were at Paladino’s - the same bar that I had run into Ashley at - we were actually sitting in the same seats that Ashley and I sat in that night. Back before Ashley wore a diaper herself. In fact - it had been the place where I had accidentally spilled the fact that I wore diapers myself. In many ways, that night felt like the true start to the craziness that my life would have become in such a short time after.

I didn’t feel upset about it. If anything, I was a little nostalgic. Could I be nostalgic for such a recent memory?

“I promise I’ll be on good behavior tonight,” Lucy said, kicking back her cranberry and vodka. “I’ll do my best not to embarass you.”

“It’s not you I’m worried about,” I said.

“No? Is it your wife?”

That was a complicated question to answer. It wasn’t really Veronica I was worried about either. But it could be, depending on what - if anything - Ashley said to her.

“Maybe it’s nobody in particular,” I said. “Maybe it’s just...newness.”

“I get that,” she said. “But don’t forget, it’s new for me too. And it’s new for Veronica. And it’s new for Ashley.”

She wasn’t wrong, and that would’ve been an incredibly important reminder if I hadn’t started breaking things when I told Ashley that I loved her.

I took a deep breath and finished off my old fashioned. On an empty stomach, just one drink was already starting to hit me in all the right places.

“I’m not the only one who should be on good behavior tonight,” she teased, her voice softening. Maybe she was just trying to lighten the mood - or maybe she saw the early hint of tipsiness that I was feeling.

“Oh?”

“I mean, you did seem to have quite a visceral reaction to my little story about a naughty boy filling his pants at a party.”

I felt myself blushing, and just like that - years melted off of my age.

“Yeah...but that was just, uh, fantasy.”

“So you’re telling me that if I came up to you at the party and whispered into your ear that I wanted you to fill your diaper, you wouldn’t do it?”

“I...well…”

“Hypothetically. Let’s say I did ask that of you. What would you do?”

“I guess I’d like to think that I have some semblance of control…”

“But do you?” she asked.

“Oh...probably not.”

She laughed. “So you’re saying there’s no way of knowing until I actually tried to find out?”

“You...You wouldn’t actually do that, would you? Like, you wouldn’t actually expect me to just...poop myself in the middle of a party just because you asked?”

She shrugged. “No, probably not.”

Probably not.

“But it’d be a shame if we didn’t get to have any fun, right?” she added. “We should definitely have a little fun. Please?”

“What did you have in mind?” I asked.

“Wet yourself. I don’t know. Give me a reason to check your diaper. I mean, if you need to change it’s not like your apartment isn’t far away, right?”

She made me forget about all the other stuff weighing on my mind. Now, I just pictured what fun looked like.

“I guess that works,” I said. “I mean it’s close enough that we could actually do...anything.”

She laughed. “Oh, don’t even tempt me.”

I sighed. It was a nice distraction.

“Can I offer you some advice?” she asked.

“Go for it.”

“Get out of your head. Stop waiting for the worst case scenario and just live your life. The best you can do is do what’s best for yourself. Some people may not say the things or do the things you want them to, but you’d never be able to control that. You can never take enough precautions.”

I took a deep breath, letting her words permeate my head.

“So what if someone there says something that embarrasses you? You get to control how you react to that. You laugh it off, people are going to laugh with you. Brush it off like nothing and nobody will think twice about it. But if you act humiliated and crushed, people are going to want to know the rest of the story.”

“You’re right,” I said. It was nothing I didn’t already know on some level, but I needed to hear it.

“We’re just going to have fun,” she said. “You and me. If it gets awkward, it gets awkward. But we’re still going to have fun no matter what.”

Another deep breath. Perhaps I had been a little hasty in thinking that I had to put my feelings for Lucy on hold while I figured out my feelings for Ashley.

“Hey, you know, Veronica is up at Ashley’s apartment now,” I said, looking at my watch. “So my apartment is open if we want to stop there on the way up.”

“Oh? And what would we need to stop there for?” she asked with a smirk.

“Well...I’m wetting my diaper right now. So maybe we could fit in a pre-party diaper change?”

She laughed and shook her head in disbelief. “Such a baby.” To the bartender: “Excuse me? Can we get two shots of tequila?” She looked back to me: “Alright. Let’s do this.”

Twenty.

Somewhere between our twenties and thirties, party culture changes. The music gets lower. The beer gets a little more expensive. There’s more trash in the trash cans than there is on the ground. The food is better. More people show up earlier than later. It was a good thing, and I was happy to have reached the age where parties felt more mature.

Regardless of whether or not I had just had my diaper changed downstairs.

“Well well well.” Had Veronica been keeping one eye on the door the entire time? Or had she just so happened to be looking at the door as we walked in? She was suddenly in front of us, still wearing a stained apron, clearly still in the midst of making food.

“Lucy,” I said, smiling nervously, “I’d like you to meet my wife, er, Veronica. Veronica, this is Lucy.”

I expected them to shake hands politely. They hugged.

“Oh my goodness,” Veronica said. “You’re gorgeous.”

“Oh stop,” Lucy said. Was she...blushing? “You look incredible. Jaime? How come you didn’t tell me that your wife is a hottie?”

“I guess it...slipped my mind,” I said, scratching my head.

“He can’t help it,” Veronica said. “I’m sure you know how he is - baby-brained and all.”

Lucy laughed and playfully swatted my bottom. There was a tell-tale sound emanating from my pants, but it was hard to tell if anyone else could hear it, let alone identify it.

“I know all about it,” she replied.

“Well, look,” Veronica said, “why don’t you two get something to eat and drink. Mingle a little. I’m sure we’ll see more of each other soon enough.”

And with that, she disappeared back into the kitchen again, almost as quickly as she had appeared.

“So that was Veronica?” Lucy asked with a smile.

My heart raced. I felt like we had just witnessed a great white shark swim by our boat - we were so close to death, yet it felt like nothing had happened at all.

“That was her,” I said.

“She seems nice.”

“She makes a good first impression, I’ll give her that.”

“Oh, stop,” Lucy said, playfully slapping my bottom again. “She’s not the devil.”

I laughed and shrugged it off. Lucy was right, but I didn’t want to have spend too much time praising Veronica right now.

“And so where is the other one?” Lucy asked. “Ashley?”

That was a good question. I panned the apartment looking for her, but I didn’t see her. There weren’t too many people here just yet - maybe 8 or 9 others, but Ashley definitely wasn’t among them.

I both did and didn’t want to see her. I missed her. But, if it was going to be awkward and tense, it was probably going to be an uncomfortable night.

“Maybe she’s in the kitchen?” I asked. “Or maybe…”

“You’re finally here,” a voice from behind us said.

It was Ashley. She had a giant smile on her face as she approached us. She was wearing exactly what she had warned me about: A short and cute dress. I hadn’t, in her words, ‘creamed my diaper,’ but it certainly had me stiffening up.

It was just barely a dress. Maybe a romper, or a glorified onesie, it had a ring of tulle running around her hip, almost like a classic ballerina tutu. Her diaper - or where I imagined her diaper might have been - was just barely covered by the tulle and a flap of cloth. If she didn’t look like a baby, she looked like a toddler who had just started dressing themselves.

“A-Ashley,” I said, smiling uncontrollably. “I want you to meet…”

“Lucy?” Ashley asked. “Is this the Lucy?”

“I don’t know,” Lucy said with a laugh. “That depends on what you’ve heard.”

“Only that you’re an amazing Mom…” her voice trailed off a little as she realized that she might be saying certain words a little too loudly. “...an amazing woman.”

Lucy smiled warmly and the two embraced.

To my shock and astonishment, I watched as Lucy’s hands slid down Ashley’s back and gave her bottom a quick squeeze - just as she had done for me before we went to the bar earlier. I fully expected Ashley to react negatively to this, or to pull away, but instead she just giggled bashfully.

“I’m sorry,” Lucy said. “I suppose it’s just a little habit I’ve picked up while I’m hugging babies.”

“I...uhm...I don’t mind,” Ashley said, blushing. She looked a little flustered, but not at all upset about this.

“If it’ll make you feel any better,” Lucy said to her, “you’re not the only one at this party wearing a diaper. Do you think you can guess who the other baby is?”

Ashley laughed and looked at me. She was still blushing - I was blushing too - and our eyes met. I wished I could’ve read her mind, but I could at least take a little solace in the fact that she genuinely looked happy to see me. Maybe things weren’t as broken as I thought they were.

“He’s a good boy,” Ashley said. She might have been talking to Lucy. She might have just needed me to hear that.

“I know he is,” Lucy said, wrapping her arm around my shoulders and pulling me in close to her. “I’m quite lucky.”

“Can I get you a drink?” Ashley asked. “We have beer. And there’s a bunch of liquor over there. And Vee made a punch. I didn’t ask what’s in it, but...it’s a little strong.”

“Take it easy on the punch,” Lucy said softly. I wondered if her maternal voice was supposed to come through or not, but she sounded like a mommy. “Unless you want to give Veronica something to change later.”

“I...well..” Ashley blushed again and laughed. “Oh gosh, you’re good at that.”

Lucy just smiled. She really was a natural mother.

“We’ll get some drinks,” I said.

Behind us, the door was opening again and another woman was joining the party.

“I should greet her. But I’m so happy that you’re both here now. Go! Drink! Eat! I promise, I’ll see you again soon.”

Lucy and I walked to the table where all the bottles of liquor had been set up. I had begun reaching for the bottle of Jameson, but decided to take my chances on the lime green punch - as Lucy had opted for as well.

“She’s cute,” Lucy said.

“Yeah, I guess…”

“She’s not just...cute,” Lucy continued. “She’s like...adorable in the way that a kitten or a puppy is. She’s so cute that you feel like you need to smother her to death with hugs and kisses.”

“Are you...threatening to kill her?”

“With hugs and kisses, yes,” she said with a laugh. “But...everything makes sense to me now.”

I didn’t ask her to elaborate. Maybe I should’ve, but I was happy just getting past those two encounters with everyone still feeling happy and elated to be at the same place at the same time.

“Do you know anyone here?” Lucy said, looking around the room.

“Some of them,” I said. “Over there, by the window, that’s Lewis. I think he’s our neighbor too. I didn’t know that Ashley knew him. But maybe Veronica invited him? And them, over there by the stereo? That’s Lily and Henry. They’re friends of Veronica and I. Nice people.”

“He looks like he could rock a diaper,” Lucy said, staring at Henry.

“Really? I doubt that he’d ever go for something like that. But, that’s it, I think. Everyone else looks to be people that either Veronica or Ashley know.”

“Whose party is it?” she asked.

I shrugged. “It belongs to both of them. But...maybe it’s more Veronica’s?”

“Veronica is certainly the host,” Lucy said. “And Ashley is…”

We watched as Ashley danced her way across the room, doing a little spin for Lily and Henry before breaking down into giggles in front of them.

“...a little tipsy already?”

“Maybe,” I said with a smile. “But...she’s also just kind of like that sometimes.” Childlike. Free. I didn’t say those words out loud, but those ones were just for me.

Lucy took a sip of the punch. She laughed and nodded. “Okay, well, if she had a glass of this punch already, then she’s tipsy.”

The punch was strong. “Veronica strong” was a little saying that our small group of friends used to use when Veronica was acting as bartender. It was never clear whether she wanted everyone to be shitfaced within the hour, or if she just had no concept of how much alcohol was too much.

All things considered, maybe a good stiff drink or two would be rather helpful tonight.

“When I check your diaper,” Lucy asked, sidling up to me and whispering in my ear, “should we do it out here in the middle of the party?”

“Uh…” I felt my face turn red. I quickly faced her, and found her laughing.

“I’m teasing. Though… We should have brought your diaper bag.”

“It’s my bookbag,” I said, glancing around to make sure nobody heard us. And it’s downstairs, so...it’s not very far away. Not that we’ll need it.”

“Are you sure? I can check your diaper right now.”

“N-no, I’m good,” I said.

She laughed again, clearly enjoying getting a rise out of me.

“I want to get some food,” she said. “Do you want any?”

“I should eat...” I said, thinking out loud. “You go on ahead. I’ll catch up in a moment.”

I had wanted a moment to myself without Lucy’s naughty comments being whispered in my ear - as much as I enjoyed them.

Lucy had taken a plate and was putting some food on it, when I noticed Veronica swooping in next to her. They had begun talking. And laughing. And talking some more. It made me a little uncomfortable. Given their body language, the conversation didn’t seem to be going bad. In fact...they seemed to be getting along quite well. It was worrying, for reasons I hadn’t decided on yet.

“They look nice and chummy,” Ashley said, putting some more punch in her cup.

“Uh, careful,” I said to her. “That stuff seems pretty strong.”

“I can handle my punch,” she said. She giggled and shook her head. “Actually, I’m lying. I’m already feeling it.”

Lucy had called that…

“Hey…” I said. This was probably not the time, and definitely not the place, to do this. But if she was going to saunter up to me at a party while a little tipsy, maybe this was exactly the time to try and have this conversation.

“Yeah?”

“About yesterday, in your apartment?”

She sighed and looked up at me. She was smiling. She reached up and touched the side of my face.

“That was awkward, huh?” she asked.

“A little bit.”

“Bad timing on Vee’s part, prolly.”

“And mine,” I said. I wasn’t sure if that was true, but I could rarely pass up the chance to soak up blame that I didn’t have to.

“No,” she said, shaking her head. “It...it really meant a lot to me that you opened up to me like that. I wish I had a chance to respond then...but Vee had just gotten there and…”

“Yeah,” I said. “I get it.”

“We’re not done with that conversation,” she said. “Okay?”

I nodded. “Anytime you want to, we can finish it.”

“I’ll hold you to that,” she said with a smile. She leaned forward, kissing me on the cheek.

“What do you think they’re talking about,” I said, nodding towards Lucy and Veronica.

“Us,” Ashley said without missing a beat.

“Probably. Does it make you nervous?”

“It shouldn’t,” she said. “But it does.”

“It’s like they’re comparing notes,” I said.

“Giving each other ideas,” she quickly responded.

“Do you think it’s one of those things where they act all nice and friendly with each other while they’re talking to each other - but later on, when they’re alone with us, they’ll let it slip that they actually disliked the other?”

She laughed. “Ooh, that would be juicy. But I don’t think so. You probably know Veronica better than I do, but I get the feeling that she wouldn’t talk to someone she didn’t like more than she had to.”

“This is true,” I said.

We stared at the two of them talking until they noticed us, at which point we quickly looked back to each other, as if we had just been chatting all along.

“I should mingle,” Ashley said with a sigh.

“This is your party,” I said with a laugh. “Don’t sound so disappointed that you have to enjoy it.”

“Oh...it’s not that,” she said.

“What is it, then?”

“I just...I dunno. I guess I’d rather…” She sighed again. “I’m going to mingle. You go do the same. Do you know Andy?” she asked, motioning towards a bearded man who was getting himself a drink.

“Can’t say that I do,” I said.

“Andy,” she said, getting his attention, “this is Jaime, a dear friend of mine. Jaime? This is Andy - he’s another designer at my company.” Then, she quickly darted off, leaving us two strangers to carry on the conversation from there.

“Nice to meet ya,” Andy said, offering a hand to me.

I shook his hand, though I was already more interested in where Ashley was. Or what Lucy and Veronica were still talking about. “Likewise,” I finally said to him, trying to focus on him now. “She said that you work with her?”

“Ah, yeah,” he said. “We’re both graphic designers.”

“Do you like it?”

“Well, it’s alright. The pay could be better. And I guess the benefits could be better. And the hours…”

“Sounds like a job,” I said with a laugh.

“Yeah, pretty much. But...I do get to work with Ashley.”

Oh no…

“She, uh, said that you were a good friend?” he added.

“I...yeah. We’re good friends. Neighbors.”

“Is she...seeing anyone?”

I glanced across the room to Ashley, currently chatting up a young woman near where the food was. Her eyes caught mine and she smiled.

“I’m not completely sure,” I said. “I think...maybe? Yeah, I think she might be.”

“Ah damn,” he said with a shrug. “That’s too bad. She is so frickin’ cute, right?”

I was trying to stay engaged with Andy, but my eyes couldn’t budge from Ashley. “Yeah, you’re not wrong about that.”

“What the hell is she even wearing?” he asked. “She looks like a little princess. I swear, nobody else could pull that off. But she looks…” He had paused as he searched for the right word.

“Perfect?”

“Yeah,” he said, nodding. “That’s about right.”

A gentle tap on my shoulder served as the distraction I needed to get away from Andy and his pining for Ashley.

“Hello, stranger,” Lucy said as she wrapped an arm around my waist.

“I saw that you and Veronica were talking for a bit.”

“She insisted that I call her Vee,” Lucy said with a smile.

“So...that conversation went well?”

She nodded. “Swimmingly.”

“Really?”

“Is that so hard to believe?”

“No, I don’t think so.” I laughed and shook my head. I had been so nervous about Veronica and Lucy not getting along that I had failed to think of how I would feel if it had been just the opposite.

“She cares about you very much,” she said. “I think she genuinely wants to see you happy.”

I wasn’t sure how to react to that. Veronica had said as much to me as well, over breakfast that one morning not too long ago. I wondered if she had said those words to Lucy as well, or if it was just something Lucy picked up on in the course of their conversation.

“I’m happy the two of you seem to get along,” I said, smiling.

Her voice lowered a little: “How’s your diaper holding up?”

“I…” I took a deep breath and glanced around nervously. “I’m still dry.”

“A shame,” she said. “You should work on fixing that when you can.”

“You think? I should just wet myself? Here?”

“I bet your little friend has,” she said, grinning.

“Ashley? You think so?”

“I bet.”

We were both staring at Ashley now, probably both imagining her with a wet diaper under her little dress.

“Do you think that she would be a party pooper?” Lucy asked.

“You mean...like...mess her diaper? Here?”

Lucy nodded.

“I...I don’t think so?”

“I’d like to see that,” she said. “I think you’d like to, too.”

I was blushing. My face felt like it was on fire. I lifted my hand to conceal my face, but she saw everything she needed to in an instance.

“You like her,” she said.

“Well…”

“I’m not mad. But you did leave out that little detail.”

“I’m sorry,” I said.

“I’m not mad,” she repeated.

I wished to say something - anything - but I was coming up empty. I looked at her, and I could see some disappointment in her eyes. I wondered what she was thinking. Did she see me looking at Ashley in a way that she had wished I looked at her?

“Wet your diapers,” she said. It was an order.

I nodded. I had half-expected her to watch me, but she returned to the party, introducing herself to a cluster of folks sitting on the couch.

Maybe I was too far into my own head, but I felt like I had to accomplish this task. As if, somehow, pissing myself would be a sign to Lucy that I still appreciated and respected her.

Was that even what she wanted?

My bladder wasn’t cooperating. I felt that I could go, but I just seemed to lack the ability to initiate. I drank a little more punch. I paced around a corner of the living room for a few moments until I got sucked into a conversation about whitewater rafting with Mitch and Danielle.

About two minutes into that conversation I began wetting myself. It wasn’t entirely purposeful, but when I felt a little pressure on my bladder, I just leaned into it and let it happen. Maybe it was Danielle’s talk of the fierce rapids caused by the seasonal flooding that helped inspire me, but once it started, it was pure pleasure and satisfaction that prevented me from stopping it.

I was a naughty baby, flooding my diaper while pretending to be an adult. And nobody was the wiser.

“In need of a diaper change?” Veronica asked, moments after I had stepped away from the conversation.

I felt the color drain from my face and my heart drop. How did she know? Could she tell? Was it obvious? Had I leaked?

“Calm down,” she said, reading my face. “I’m just teasing.”

“Oh…”

“Unless...you actually did piss yourself?”

“I just, uhm…”

“Oh my god,” she said, giggling behind her hand. “You did, didn’t you?”

I sighed and nodded.

“Such a little baby. At least you’re not the only one.” She glanced around the room until her eyes landed on Ashley, still buzzing around like a bubbly princess. “There’s another little girl with a soggy bottom running around here right now.”

“She...she’s wet too?”

Veronica nodded. “I’ll deal with her soon enough. But how about we return you to your mommy?”

“You don’t have to do that. I can just go and…”

“Nonsense. Come with me.”

I would’ve followed her, but she grabbed my wrist and towed me behind her anyways. It was a little embarrassing, being dragged across the party by my wrist like I was a toddler. But...given what I had just done, maybe this was very fitting.

I had to hand it to Veronica - despite never feeling like she was an especially maternal person, she sure knew how to make me feel small. I could see what Ashley liked.

“Lucy?”

Lucy turned around to face Veronica. I had bashfully hidden myself behind my wife’s back.

“Why hello,” Lucy said with a smile. “Everything okay?”

“Your baby may need a change soon,” Veronica said.

“H-hey,” I interjected. “Not so loud.”

“Oh?” Lucy asked. “Did he have a little accident?”

“I doubt it was an accident,” Veronica said.

Both women laughed, and it only further embarrassed me.

“If you’ll excuse us, then, I’ll be taking him back to your apartment for a change.”

“Of course,” Veronica said, adding: “As soon as I can capture my little bouncing baby, I should probably get her into something fresher too…”

“Well,” Lucy said, glancing at me with a wide grin on her face, “someone needs to be the hostess. You send her down to me when you can. I’ll take care of her just as I’ll take care of him.”

Twenty-One.

“Can I be honest with you? I feel a little silly right now.”

You’re the one who feels silly? I was the one lying on my back on the bed I shared with my wife - pants removed, diaper opened and damp baby wipes lapping at my tender skin.

I didn’t say anything.

“It’s not your fault, per se,” Lucy continued, sliding the wet diaper out from under me. “I’m kind of frustrated with myself right now.”

“Why?” I asked, with very little volume in my voice. Having a woman lift your legs into the air while changing your diaper had its effects on my confidence.

“I said that I wasn’t looking for anything serious,” she said with a shrug. “Remember? When we first started talking?”

I nodded.

“But then I went and got...I don’t know. Attached.”

I felt like I should apologize, but I couldn’t bring myself to say anything.

“Like, I should have known what was going to happen. I knew you were married. And, sure you’re poly or open...or whatever it is that you and Vee are doing - so I always knew something like this would happen. But...I just…”

She wrapped up the old diaper and set it aside before unfurling the fresh diaper to change me into. It occurred to me that it was her first time changing my diaper when I wasn’t erect. This had much more to do with the fact that Lucy was spilling her guts to me - while a party took place above us - than it had to do with me not be excited by having her change me again.

“...I changed your messy diaper,” she said. “Doesn’t that mean something?”

“It doesn’t mean that I don’t like you,” I said.

She sighed. “No, you’re right, you’re right. But...I saw something between you and Ashley. And maybe you feel the same way about me, I don’t know. But it just triggered something in my mind. This...question.”

“What question?” I asked?

“Am I just a Mommy to you?”

It was hard to answer that question as she wrapped another diaper around me. But even if that hadn’t been the case, I still had no idea how to answer that question.

I liked how Lucy treated me. LIke a baby.

I liked how Lucy talked to me. Like a baby.

I liked how Lucy made me feel. Like a baby.

Maybe I did know how to answer that question.

I opened my mouth to say something, when there was a knock on the bedroom door. That could only be one person.

“Come in,” Lucy said.

The opened door revealed a bashful Ashley, nibbling her fingernail as she gave a small wave to us.

“Uhm...Vee told me that I should come down here because…” She couldn’t even say the words out loud.

“Are you another soggy baby?” Lucy asked.

Ashley’s eyes dropped to me, on my back in a fresh diaper while a wet one was balled up next to me. There was the slightest bit of relief in her eyes, seeing that she wasn’t the only one.

Ashley nodded.

“Come, lie down on the bed, Baby,” Lucy said. “I’ll take care of you.” She then turned back to me: “And you should go back to the party. Or, at least, wait for us in the living room. It’d be rude to watch a little girl get her diaper changed.”

I watched as Ashley turned an entirely new shade of pink.

“Actually,” Ashley said, looking back to me from Lucy again. “Could he stay? I’d like it if he stayed.”

Lucy smiled. It wasn’t a wicked or mischievous grin - it was the look of someone who had just seen a puppy, or who was watching the final scene in a rom-com.

She might have looked a little jealous, too.

“Of course he can stay,” Lucy said. “But, he’s going to have to stay on his back. Like a baby.”

I nodded.

“And,” Lucy added, “he’s going to have to suck his thumb.”

I slowly raised my hand to my mouth, letting my thumb slip between my lips.

It was probably the most infantile state Ashley had ever seen me in. I was a little embarrassed.

But then she laid down on the bed next to me, looked at me, and put her own thumb in her mouth.

--

The changing of our diapers seemed to coincide with the changing of the tone of the party. The earlybirds slowly made their exit and a few late arrivals dropped by. Ashley’s coworkers and acquaintances outnumbered my and Veronica’s friends, and the younger energy had an almost immediate effect on the vibe.

The music got a little louder. There seemed to be more drinks in hand. I could smell the pot long before a joint got passed in my direction.

It had been Veronica’s party before, but now it was entirely Ashley’s.

Ashley seemed to be in her element. She was dancing and laughing while she bopped from group to group.

Meanwhile, I felt old. Well, I feel like a baby. But I also felt old.

Things were getting a little fuzzy. I had made small talk here and there - I was pretty sure I had a good conversation about using pizza stones too - and I was enjoying myself. Occasionally, my brain would itch a little with the thought of the unfinished business between Lucy and I.

“Am I just a Mommy to you?”

Oh, and I had unfinished business with Ashley too.

I got some more punch.

“Careful,” a voice said as I ladled some liquid into my cup from the punch bowl. Two arms wrapped around my torso from behind. “I hear that stuff is strong!”

“Are you having a good time?” I asked Ashley. I didn’t need to see her face to know who it was.

“Uh huh,” she said. “What about you?”

“This has been fun,” I said.

“I don’t know where Vee is,” she said.

“I’m not sure that I do either,” I replied.

“I haven’t seen Lucy in a while either.”

“You think they’re together?” I asked.

“I dunno.”

She rested her head on my back. It felt good, being so close to her.

“Can I tell you something?” she asked.

“Of course.”

“I...really liked getting my diaper changed while you were next to me.”

I was happy she couldn’t see my face, because I felt like I had turned crimson.

“I liked that too.”

“Can I...tell you something else?”

“Of course.”

“So...when Vee told me to go down to your apartment to, uhm, get a change? I really wanted to, uh…”

“Really wanted to what?” I asked.

“I was just feeling so small,” she said. “Like, I dunno, I couldn’t think of the consequences or about if anyone would see me or not.”

“Yeah?”

“All I could think about was that I wanted to…” She paused, and when she spoke again, her voice had become even quieter. It was almost impossible to hear her over the music and the people talking. I just barely was able to make out her words: “I wanted to mess my diaper before I went to your apartment.”

I laughed, and I could feel her laughing against my back as well.

“That would’ve been quite the surprise for Lucy.”

“I wasn’t thinking about Lucy. I was just...squatting in the hallway, trying to force something into my diaper. But I gave up.”

“Why did you want to do that?”

“I...wanted to show you how much of a baby I can be.”

“You don’t have to do anything to impress me,” I said. “Promise.”

“But what would you have done if I had?” she asked.

“Creamed my diaper.”

We both laughed.

“I should probably wait to say this,” she said. “But...I’m feeling kind of floaty and…”

“We’re all feeling kind of floaty right now,” I said.

“I never thought of the ‘L’ word,” she said. “Like that word specifically.”

“Love?”

“That’s the one. But...I think I share the sentiment.”

It wasn’t exactly what I wanted to hear, but it was better than the alternative.

“I like you,” she said. “A lot.”

“Well...you know how I feel about that already.”

“I like Vee too.”

“I know,” I said.

“I want both.”

I didn’t say anything. I wanted her to have both. But it just felt so complicated.

“I’m going to tell her that I want both of you,” she said.

I had expected to have a panic attack at hearing those words, but I smiled instead. “Yeah?”

“She needs to know.”

“I’ll tell her too,” I said.

“What are you telling her?”

“That I want you too.”

“What about Lucy?”

Lucy’s pre-party words came back to me: Stop waiting for the worst case scenario and live your life. She probably didn’t expect me to embrace those words when it came to my feelings towards her, but she wasn’t wrong.

“I tell her what I want,” I said with a shrug. “What else can I do?”

“Kiss me?”

I didn’t hesitate to spin around to face her. The rest of the room was a blur; just reduced to a hum and vague moving shapes. Ashley was the only thing I could see. We leaned forward at the same time, our lips connecting again.

I wondered, for a moment, what this looked like. Veronica’s husband. Ashley’s neighbor’s husband. Is that a thing? Can they kiss each other like that? Maybe Lucy and Veronica were in the room with us. Maybe they were just three feet away, their arms crossed as they watched in frustration.

We were kissing. We were making out. We were...kind of a mess. Our wet slobbery mouths smacked against the other’s and little moans and grunts were being sprinkled in for good measure. We might have been making a scene, but neither of us seemed bothered enough to take a look around and find out.

I felt everything hit me at once. The punch. The pot. The passion. It was an intoxicated lust, and I was barely able to control myself with her in my arms. It was safe to assume that Ashley felt the same way, given the way she was grabbing at me - always trying to pull me even closer when we already pressed together.

“We need to get out of here,” I said to her.

“Why?” she asked.

I didn’t think I’d have to spell it out for her. “Any second now, I think we’re both going to end up in just our diapers. And I don’t know that anyone here wants to see that.”

“I bet they would,” she said with a giggle.

“Okay...maybe they’d like to see that, but they shouldn’t.”

“Let’s go,” she said with a nod.

We had only walked about five feet together when she paused. I turned to her to see why she stopped, only to find that she was squatting a little with her eyes closed.

“Wait,” I said. “Ash, are you…?”

I wondered who, if anyone, would have known what she was doing. Had there been no music, would they have heard it happen?

She had just messed her diaper right there. She had become the party-pooper.

“We really need to go,” I said. I took her hand in mine and we quickly fled her apartment.

Things were getting even fuzzier.

We had just bailed on Ashley’s own party, and I certainly hadn’t been thinking about whether or not Veronica was still there. We stumbled down the hall and down the stairs - it was a miracle that neither of us had fallen on our diapered bottoms - especially Ashley, who was carrying a heavier load than she had been just moments prior.

We loudly whispered half-thoughts to each other as we walked to my apartment.

“Did you really just…”

“I can’t believe I…”

“Is Veronica...? Is...Lucy...?”

“I...stink…”

“You’re...stinky…”

“Hey...you said...if I pooped...then…”

“I’m...trying...I don’t think I can…”

The apartment door was flung open, and I had no recollection of shutting it behind me. We barreled through the apartment as a cluster of limbs wrapped around each other. We didn’t know where we were going or what we’d do when we got there.

I pinned her against the wall, my diaper pressed against hers. She moaned into my ear as her dirty bottom was sandwiched and we began to kiss again.

We wanted more. We wanted everything. But the closer to the bed we got, the more the night’s toll on us could be felt. We were slowing down, and by the time we landed on top of the bed together, we were mostly just looking for comfortable cuddling positions. I always forgot I could be such a sleepy drunk.

I was the big spoon, with Ashley’s messy diaper nestled in my lap.

As best as I could tell, it was the best night of sleep I had ever had.

Twenty-Two.

Neither Ashley nor I knew what our world would look like in the morning - but almost immediately after waking up we knew that everything had changed.

“What time did we leave the party?” she asked me, still cuddled against me on the bed.

“I have no idea.”

“That’s me, isn’t it? The...smell?”

“Yeah…”

She sighed. “If we just stay in this bed forever, we don’t have to talk to anyone about this, right?”

“I think so.”

“So we’re agreed then? We just stay here forever?”

“Sounds like a plan to me.”

And for a good ten minutes, that plan was what we stuck to. We didn’t have to say or do anything. We just cuddled on the bed, wondering what sort of destruction had been left in our wake.

As much as we would’ve liked to have stayed forever, we both knew that we needed to see what was outside the bedroom door.

“I’ll go,” I said. “I’ll scout out the living room and see if anyone’s there.”

“Okay. If the coast is clear, let me know and I’m going to make a run back to my apartment. And then...I’m going to shower for 12 hours.”

“Better make it 13,” I teased.

“Shush. Just see who’s out there, please.”

I carefully opened the bedroom door, only to immediately see that both Veronica and Lucy were in the living room, sipping from tea cups. They immediately spotted me poking my head out from the door.

“Is the coast clear?” Ashley asked.

“No...not really.”

“It appears that the babies have finally woken up,” said Veronica.

“Sleep well?” asked Lucy.

I was tempted to just retreat back into the bedroom and close the door.

Breathe in. Breathe out.

I stepped out of the bedroom completely and entered the living room. It was hard to gauge the attitudes of the women as they watched me from the couch. There was amusement in their eyes but it was certainly more than that. If I was to guess, a heavy dose of ‘We’re not mad - just disappointed.’

“I...I don’t think I should come out,” Ashley said.

“Ah, right,” Veronica said to Lucy, waving her hand in front of her face. I was blushing for Ashley.

“Maybe we change her first?” Lucy asked. “Then we talk?”

“I’ll take care of this,” Veronica said.

“Are you sure?” asked Lucy. “Because I know you had said that you hadn’t had to change a messy diaper yet.”

They talked about that?

“I mean, if you’re offering,” Veronica said with a shrug.

“I got this,” Lucy said. She stood up and walked right past me into the bedroom, closing the door behind her. I wondered what Ashley’s reaction would have been to seeing Lucy.

Veronica remained seated, though she just stared at me while smiling.

“So,” she finally said. “Did you have a good night?”

“I…” I had no idea how to answer that question. I decided to ask a question of my own: “Is...Lucy mad?”

I took a seat on the loveseat so that I was facing Veronica.

“You can ask her yourself,” she said.

I looked back to the closed bedroom door. “Do you think...Ashley will let Lucy change her?”

“Ashley wouldn’t have the ability to say no to a diaper change. From anyone.”

That sounded right to me. “What about the party?”

We could hear the sound of the shower running from the master bathroom.

“People had a good time,” Veronica said, sipping from her cup.

I had follow-up questions about that, but I wasn’t sure that I wanted the answers just yet. I bit my tongue, waiting for Lucy and Ashley to emerge before I learned more about how disastrous things were now. Veronica seemed fine with that too, as she made no effort to initiate a conversation while we waited. She’d just occasionally grin or shake her head while looking at me.

At last, and quite a while after Lucy had initially gone in to help Ashley, they both emerged. Ashley had lost her juvenile dress and was wearing Veronica’s bathrobe. She sat down next to me, and Lucy went and took a seat next to Ashley.

A tension-filled silence took over the room for a few moments.

Lucy was the first one to speak. “We were in the kitchen last night, Vee and I. Just talking. I had mentioned to her that it seemed that our babies had become something of an...item.”

“Surprising,” Veronica added. “But not entirely unexpected. Neither of you had ever done a remarkable job at hiding your feelings for the other.”

Ashley and I looked at each other and blushed.

“I suggested, teasing, that we leave the kitchen and check in on the babies,” Lucy said.

“And so we did,” Veronica added. I had to admit that the two had an amazing chemistry. “And can you guess what we saw?”

“Was...was it us?” Ashley asked.

Lucy and Veronica nodded at the same time.

“There they were,” said Veronica to Lucy.

“Making out in the middle of the party,” added Lucy as if talking only to Veronica.

“We must’ve missed a really hot conversation,” Veronica said.

“I bet we did,” Lucy replied. “I bet we missed a conversation where they got it in their heads that little Ashley would fill her diaper and then the two would run off.”

“Actually…” I said, wanting to correct them on Ashley’s diaper being planned in advance. Ashley, though, put her hand on my leg to stop me. She was right to - that detail really didn’t matter.

But now I needed to know: “Did anyone see? Were...people talking about it?”

Lucy and Veronica looked at each other. Time seemed to freeze while I waited for an answer.

“It was late,” Veronica said. “And loud. And...I think everyone was feeling a little foggy.”

“I don’t think anybody noticed,” Lucy added. “Or, if they did, they had no idea what they saw.”

Ashley spoke: “But...what about when I messed?”

“You stunk up the apartment for a minute, I won’t lie, Babygirl,” Veronica said, causing Ashley to turn beet-red. “But at worst, they probably thought you had gas. I doubt anyone actually thought that you had done a terrible poo in your pants.”

“And who could’ve predicted that you’d sleep in that?” Lucy added.

“What now?” I asked. I wanted to cut through the humiliating recap. I wanted to know where we stood. How much groveling we’d need to do.

“I think we all need to take a step back,” Lucy answered. “We need to decide what we want.”

“I…I know what I want,” Ashley said.

All eyes were on her.

“I want to be with you,” she said to Veronica. My heart felt like it was starting to break in half. But just before it could completely crumble apart, she turned to me and added: “And I want to be with you too.”

“I’d like to figure out how to make that work,” Veronica said with a nod.

“Me too,” I added.

We all looked to Lucy now. As stoic and resilient as ever, she just smiled.

“I like you, Baby,” she said to me, “I liked being your Mommy. But...I think I ended up wanting more, and I’m not sure you’ve been willing to give the same back.”

“I’m sorry… I was kind of selfish, I guess.”

“Oh, don’t be,” she replied. “I gave you all my best Mommy energy. What was I expecting to happen?”

“So,” I said, my chest heavy with guilt, “does this mean that…” I couldn’t even finish that sentence. I wanted to ask if we were breaking up. Were we ever dating?

“It’s been fun,” Lucy said as she stood up. “But...I think I should get going.”

I wanted to stop her. I wanted to ask her to stay. But I had no idea why she would, other than for my own selfish reasons.

“I have a date tonight,” Lucy added as she walked towards the door. “I should get ready for that.”

A date? Already?

“Oh?” Veronica asked. “Did you meet someone at the party?”

“I did,” Lucy said with a grin.

I was feeling sick to my stomach. I wondered at what point she had given up on me and started talking to someone else at the party. Was it after Ashley and I had fled the apartment in a fit of drunken romance? That probably would’ve done it.

“Who?” I asked. “Who did you meet at the party?”

“Yeah,” Ashley asked. “Was it...someone I know?”

“You both know them,” Lucy said.

“Oh, by the way,” Veronica said, turning to me and laughing, “I also have a date tonight.”

It took Ashley and I far too long to connect the dots. Both of us looked puzzled and offended. There we were, just having agreed on the fact that we wanted to figure out how to make something work with all of us and then she wanted to go on a date and…

“Wait!” Ashley was the first to realize what was happening. She pointed to Veronica. “You!” Then she pointed to Lucy: “And you!”

Lucy nodded.

It clicked for me too.

“You too are going out on a date together?”

Veronica laughed. “Are you babies going to be able to behave yourselves tonight while we’re out?”

Ashley was so excited that she was almost out of breath when she responded: “No...I don’t think we’ll behave at all.”

Epilogue.

“You’re not serious, right?” I asked. “Like...you’re joking?”

Veronica shrugged with that amused smile she had when she wanted to keep me guessing.

“Come on,” I pleaded. “That’s insane. That’s...ridiculous! Who would you even call for that? You can’t just, like, call some 14 year old.”

“Lucy knows somebody,” she retorted. “I haven’t met her yet, but Lucy insists that she’s a good choice.”

“Good choice or not,” I said, “what is this person supposed to do anyways? We’re perfectly capable of taking care of ourselves. We are adults. Most of the time.”

“Do you remember what happened last week when Lucy and I went to the shore for the day?”

I had opened my mouth to respond, but no words had come out. She had me there.

“Go on,” she said. “I’m waiting. Why don’t you remind me - and yourself - what happened.”

“Well...me and Ash, we both got…”

“Uh huh,” she said. “Spill it, mister.”

I felt like I was a little boy again - but the truth was that I felt that way more often than I didn’t.

“We both got diaper rashes.”

“That’s right, you did. Pretty bad ones at that too, huh?”

I nodded, my cheeks flaring.

“How long were you in those dirty diapers anyways?”

“Like...a few hours?”

“That’s what I thought,” Veronica said with a confident laugh. “I don’t think you have much of an argument. While Lucy and I are away this weekend, you’ll have a babysitter. But, I have it on good authority that she’s very eager to meet our babies and that she wants to take very good care of you.”

I could continue to protest, but I’d only be pretending to be upset. The thought of a babysitter - a stranger who knew about Ashley and I and actually wanted to treat us like babies - was kind of exciting. Terrifying. But exciting.

“Do you know her name, at least?”

“Rachel? No, that’s not right.” Veronica took out her phone, scrolling through - I assumed - a conversation with Lucy to find the right name. “Ah, here it is. Raquelle.”

My eyes widened and my heart sank a little.

“You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” Veronica said with a laugh. “Do you know her?”

“We’ve met before…”

“Well won’t that be a delight, then? You two can reconnect.”

I sighed and ran through my hair. My excitement remained, though the feeling of terror had escalated a little.

“Does Ash know?” I asked.

“I doubt it. Did you want to be the one to tell her? Or should I?”

“I can go talk to her.”

“You should probably go up there anyways,” Veronica said. “She’s got a lot to do and she could use the help.” She quickly added: “Not that I think leaving the two of you together is going to get things done any faster.”

I shrugged. “I’ll try and help. No promises, though.”

She smiled and leaned forward, kissing me on the lips. I still hadn’t gotten used to the feeling of kissing Veronica again. I hoped that I never got used to it and it felt new every single time.

Not that long ago she had said she owned me. I supposed she did. There was a piece of myself that’d always be hers, and I’m glad that she was taking care of it again.

With a smack on my padded bottom, she sent me on my way.

Out the door. Down the hall. Up the stairs. Down the other hall. I felt like I knew the path to Ashley’s apartment better than I knew my path to the bathroom of my own apartment.

Actually...when was the last time I used that?

I didn’t have to knock anymore. I just opened the door and helped myself in.

“Hey you,” Ashley said, blushing a little. “Hurry and close the door!”

“If you wore pants - or even a dress - you wouldn’t have to worry about someone in the hallway seeing you prance around in just a diaper and t-shirt,” I said.

“I’m allowed to be as comfortable as I want to be,” she said.

“And are you comfortable in that soggy diaper?”

She blushed. “Is it that obvious?”

“Maybe it just takes a baby to notice.”

She shrugged. Obviously she was in no rush to change. Or to be changed.

“How’s it going in here?” I asked. “Make much progress?”

“I hate moving,” she whined. “I mean...I’m very happy about where I’m moving to. But...I don’t want to do all this damn work.”

“Are you going to miss being my neighbor?” I asked.

“Not really,” she said with a smile. “But I’m looking forward to my new roommates.”

“Oh yeah? Tell me about them.”

Ashley had this look - it would be hard to describe. It was...effervescent? It was like she was dissolving into a cup of hot chocolate. In the best way possible.

She had that look now. She looked blissful as she spoke: “Oh, they’re so nice. There’s this woman, right? She’s very very pretty. And she takes such good care of me. And then there’s this guy…”

“Ooh,” I said. “A guy? Tell me more.”

“He’s...hmm, how do I say it?”

“I’m sure you can find the right word.”

“Like, you know how I’m a baby?”

“Oh, I know all about that,” I said.

“Well he is an even bigger baby.”

“What? No way. That’s not possible.”

“Jaime, I’m telling you, he’s the biggest stinkiest baby I’ve ever met in my entire life.”

We both started laughing before pausing to kiss each other.

“I’m really excited to move in with you guys,” she said.

“We’re overjoyed to have you. Are you going to miss this place?”

“I mean...I never spent much time here anyways,” she said with a laugh. “Besides, it’s going to be in good hands.”

“Speaking of which,” I said. “I heard that Lucy is already packed and ready to move in here. She’s basically just waiting on you.”

Ashley giggled and shook her head. “Is that true?”

I shrugged. “That’s what Veronica said. But she might just be saying that to motivate you to pack faster.”

“Ugh. Well tell Mom that I’ll be done when I’m done.”

“I’m not a carrier pigeon.”

“I’m excited,” she said, wrapping her hands around my waist to pull me closer to her.

“Yeah?”

“Living with you and Vee. Lucy being just upstairs. It kind of feels like...a family?”

I nodded. “It does, doesn’t it?”

“So did you come up here to help me pack? Or did you want to fuck me in my diaper?”

“I can do both, can’t I?”

“Which do you want to do first?” she asked.

“Oh, I don’t know…”

We both laughed again.

I’d get around to talking about Raquele, just as we’d get around to eventually packing up her apartment. There were more pressing matters to attend to now.

Epilogue 2.

“Who is this guy?”

Lucy and I had just run a few errands and were coming back to the apartment building. While checking our mailboxes, she spotted a young man exiting the elevator. His babyface was, admittedly, quite fetching.

“You ought to take a picture,” I said to her.

Lucy rarely blushed, and it was charming to see it happen now.

“He’s new here,” I said. “His name is Nico.”

“Do you think we should invite him over for dinner?”

I laughed.

“What? You don’t think we should? It’d be nice.”

“No, I think it’d be very nice,” I said. “You should tell Veronica. She’ll get a real kick out of that.”