Bottoms Up, Part 11 (Patreon)

Eleven: Whatshername

“You’re still here?” Effie asked incredulously.

Layne shoved some styrofoam blocks into the trash compactor. “Yeah, yeah. I don’t want to hear about it.”

“Sorry, I’m not used to seeing you here this late. Still working on that nursery?”

“It’s done. Do you want to see?”

“Not really.”

Layne snort-laughed. “Fine.”

“I’ll look at it tomorrow when I come in,” she said with a blasé shrug. “Maybe if I’m lucky I’ll see a baby-man lying on the table again.”

Layne’s eyes narrowed. “Excuse me?”

“Which part of what I had just said confused you?” Effie asked, her patented smart-ass smile stretched across her face.

“All of it,” Layne said. “You’ve been awfully...peppy the last few days. Cockier than usual.”

“Am I not allowed to be?”

“I don’t trust it. And ‘baby-man?’ Where did you get that from?”

“Oh...does that mean something to you?”

“You can’t kid a kidder, Effie. Someone said something to you.”

Another playful shrug.

“It was Kiri, wasn’t it? She was in here again and she told you to tell me that.”

“How are you only the world’s greatest detective when it comes to someone making fun of you?”

“But she was here, right? Again?”

“She didn’t leave a phone number for you, if that’s what you’re asking for.”

“Then what was the point of her coming in again?”

“I think she was hoping to run into you.”

“Is she…”

“Coming back? Maybe. But I wouldn’t know when. Or why, if I’m being honest. She’s, like, some sort of crush? Future disappointed-lover?”

“She’s a...person of interest.” The words didn’t sound right coming out of his mouth, but he didn’t bother looking for alternatives.

“But, really though, it’s weird seeing that you’re still here while I’m locking up the store for the day.”

“You know what? It’s not just your pep that bothers me. It’s how chatty you’ve been. C’mon, what’s up with you? Are you seeing someone now? Are you, uh, getting laid or something?”

“I’m almost positive that you’re not allowed to ask an employee that.”

“Should I get Human Resources on the line?”

Effie laughed. “Actually, that’s a good idea. I have a number of complaints about my boss.”

“Best of luck. I’ve been trying to get rid of that guy for years,” he said as he walked back to the nursery.

Layne had spent the last few days in ‘the zone’ - that metaphysical plane where you’re so hyper-focused on a task that you often forget why you were doing it in the first place. He’d occasionally dip out from the zone for little breaks. He’d look at the shelves he just hung or the colorful foam tiles laid out on the floor of the Nursery and wonder if he had been making a mistake or not.

No, probably not, he thought. Hopefully not.

There was an endgame afoot. Calls had been made. A hesitant woman was willing to take on the role of Mommy. An even more hesitant woman was willing to take on the role of baby.

The nursery was far from perfect, but it would do. It looked good. Or, at least, finished. It looked like a room you might call a Nursery. He had bigger plans for it - knock down a wall and expand the room; custom furniture; a window that looked into the salesfloor.

“That city council thing is coming up,” Effie said to him. She had a suspiciously smug tone.

“Uh huh.”

“You, uh, nervous about it?”

“Out of sight, out of mind,” Layne said with a shrug.

--

Effie was torn on whether or not she’d tell Layne about her recent dealings that had ensured the favor of Mr. Hamish Bellencourt. In most instances, she preferred keeping it to herself as to not have to field any questions about her experiences. But she also wanted Layne to know. Weeks, months, years later, she wanted Layne to think about the fact that it was Effie - living, dead, or just unemployed at that time - who had saved the store.

And, so, she found his lackadaisical ‘out of sight, out mind’ attitude absolutely infuriating.

He seemed to give no fucks about defending the store from this group of loudmouthed locals. The work he was putting into the nursery felt like transference - a means for him to do something with his built up anxiety.

And what was his relationship with this Grace woman, anyways? This was the most infuriating thing of all. The more opportunities he had to talk to her, the more likely he was to say something so incredibly stupid and off-putting that Grace wouldn’t just go to the city council - she’d gather an angry mob to burn down the diaper store.

Thank goodness for me, she thought. The only one with common sense around here.

--

Mid-sandwich, Harper had warned Syd that what she was about to say could very well be the strangest thing Syd had ever heard. Syd said they didn’t believe that.

“There’s a woman going to the city council in an effort to shut down Bottoms Up. Layne’s plan to avoid this is for me to put the woman in a diaper and treat her like a baby.”

“He knows that kidnapping is illegal, right?”

“He swears that she’s consenting to this.”

“If she’s consenting - why is there talk of her going to the city council?”

“I’m certain that I’m missing details.”

“But you’re going to go along with this?”

Harper sighed, replacing her sandwich-half with her vape before taking a drag. “I don’t know what I’m doing anymore. That’d be a weird thing for me to agree to, right?”

Syd shrugged. “Yes. But...I suspect you already agreed to do this?”

“I might have said that I might help. Maybe.”

“I gotta say,” Syd said, trying to subtly sniff at the air - she was fond of the many scents of Harper’s vape, “that is certainly one of the strangest things I’ve ever heard.”

“But, I was also thinking…”

Syd took a cautious breath.

“...maybe you’d like to go?”

“Why do you think that I would like to go to see that?”

“Well...I was just thinking, you know, that you were curious about the whole diaper-thing. So maybe you’d want to see it in action?”

“Maybe.”

“Or…”

“Or?”

“We make it a, uh, two-for-one. If you want.”

“Two-for-one? I’m not sure I know what you mean by that.”

“Like, you know, she wouldn’t be the only first-time baby in the room. If you wanted to see what it was like.”

“That’s a lot at once…”

“I know.”

“So, it’s you, your soon-to-be-ex-I-think, some random woman who might want to ruin your husband’s business, and then me? And I’m going to be put into a diaper in front of them?”

“Alright, well now it’s not sounding like that hot of an idea.”

“I’m in.”

“Look, it’s not that big of a deal,” Harper said with a shrug - perhaps not fully paying attention. “The whole thing is weird as hell. You certainly don’t need to be there. And maybe I should think more about whether or not I even want to commit to this too, you know? I mean, what if…”

“I said: I’m in.”

“Oh. Wait, are you serious?”

“I trust you. A lot. Do I tell you that enough?”

“I mean, you’ve never had to.”

“I don’t talk about being nonbinary a lot. But it was my decision to live this way, you know? So any hardships are ones I’ve brought upon myself. But that doesn’t mean that it’s not hard. I tell people who, and what, I am and they balk. As if I couldn’t exist on account of the fact that they can’t relate to it themselves. But you’ve never once treated me like that. You’re one of the few people in my life who’ve just always accepted me for who I am. Anytime I’ve told you something about me, you just accepted it without question. So, I dunno, maybe I owe you the same. Is this the craziest fucking thing I’ve ever heard of? Do you and Layne live in a weird world that seems alien to me? Yeah, you do. But you’ve never once flinched at anything I’ve told you. So if you’re going to have a fucking baby party with a stranger - and because I know you wouldn’t invite me to something you think I’d get hurt from  - I’m willing to just say: Okay. Let’s fucking do it. Make me into a baby.”

“Jesus Christ,” Harper said, looking exasperated.

“What?”

“I’m so fucking attracted to you right now. C’mon. We need to go back to the bedroom.”

“But I’m eating a sandwich!”

“Put down the sandwich and come fuck me, dammit”

--

“Okay, but I’m really leaving now,” Effie said, summoning Layne from the Nursery.

“Okay,” he said with a shrug.

“But you’re still here?”

“I, uh, have some stuff to do here.”

“Stuff? What stuff? You said you finished the nursery.”

“What’s with the third degree? This is my store. If I want to stay here until midnight, I’ll stay here until midnight.”

“Is Kiri coming over, is that what this is all about? Are you trying to woo her into your nursery?”

He laughed, enjoying the mental image that conjured. “N-no. Just working on a little project tonight. Something personal.”

“Ugh, I hate that I’m curious.”

“I can’t tell you.”

“It’s a secret? Well shit. Now I need to know.”

“Look, I’m sorry, Effie. But this is bigger than me and…”

The back door opened, and both Effie and Layne knew who it was before anyone stepped through the door. Only one other person had a key.

“Oh shit,” said Effie, glancing back to Layne. “You and Harper?”

Harper came through the door first, the classic diaper bag hanging off her shoulder. Black with little white and red flowers printed on it, it was a relic of days gone by - though only Layne would’ve known about them. Seeing its return brought a feeling of comfort over him.

Syd was next through the door - a surprise to Layne and Effie alike.

“Wait, what the hell is going on here tonight?” Effie asked.

“This is, uh, more participants than I was expecting,” Layne said, nervously scratching at his hair.

“I’ve acquired another baby,” Harper said. “I hope that’s okay.”

“I mean...well…”

“Good enough for me,” Harper replied. She turned to Effie, the two of them embracing. “Have you met Syd?”

“No, I don’t think I have,” Effie said, her tone rising to an excited pitch that Layne had only ever heard when she was talking to Harper.

“A pleasure,” said Syd, holding out their hand. Effie grasped it and shook it with a goofy smile.

Layne noticed the slightest of twinkles in Effie’s eyes. He had become a bit of an accidental expert in decoding his co-worker. Right now? She was digging this androgynous stranger.

“So, really now,” Effie repeated. “What exactly is going on here?”

“A christening of the new nursery,” Harper said. “Some lucky babies are getting pampered tonight.”

“Quite literally,” Syd said. It sounded as if they wanted to be bolder, but was still kind of uncertain about everything herself.

“Oh, well, first and foremost,” said Harper, “I think we owe a first-time customer a little tour around the store. Show ‘em what the big babies wear and such.”

“Please!” exclaimed Syd. The two linked arms and Harper led them through the swinging doors into the salesfloor.

“I could stick around,” Effie said with a shrug.

“Oh no you don’t,” Layne said. “You have to get out of here.”

“Am I cramping your style? Are you actually thinking that you’re going to, like, score a threesome with those two?”

“No, no. Don’t worry about it. We just have some...things planned and I don’t need any extra distractions around. Or, in your case, distracting pains in the ass.”

“Some ointment would clear that right up, you know. I’m sure Harper could work that into the routine tonight, Baby-Man.”

“Well now you’re just being mean, and I definitely don’t appreciate…”

From the front of the store, Harper yelled back: “Hey, do you mind if I unlock the front door for a moment? There’s someone else here. Your friend, I think.”

Layne cringed as he turned to face Effie again.

“More? Who all is coming to this little party tonight? And you couldn’t have even mentioned it to me?”

“Effie, really, maybe it’s best if you don’t get involved and…”

It was too late. Effie walked up to the windows in the swinging doors and looked out into the salesfloor.

“Is that....whatshername? Grace? From the group? From, uh, CLAM?”

“CALM,” Layne said with a sigh. “And...yes.”

Effie’s face was a brilliant red - a shade Layne had never seen before. And while he had seen this situation as plenty awkward and embarrassing for most parties involved, he failed to understand how Effie could possibly be so upset about this.

“Is she...putting a diaper on too?”

“Well...maybe. You know, if she wants.”

“This place,” Effie said, throwing her arms up in the air as she looked around the stockroom in frustration. “This fucking place.”

“Are you...mad?”

“Consider this my two week’s notice for my resignation,” Effie finally said. And she stormed out the back door with her nose held high in the air.

Note from the author: Content focusing on trans and nonbinary characters is something I'd like to do more of. Because content of this nature is slightly outside of my own experiences, I encourage feedback from anyone who has a perspective on this.