Neighbors, Part Seven (Patreon)

Seven

Lucy: You can bet that I’ll be checking. What I find better not disappoint.

I was suddenly in my apartment again. By the time I realized I was there, I realized that I had no recollection of walking there from the lobby.

Whatever. It didn’t matter. My head was completely fogged by the fact that Lucy had responded to me.

Did this make her more of an actual person?

I had reached a new decision point - a new landmark in whatever path into obsession I was on. Did I respond right away and risk looking desperate? Or did I play it cool and respond later?

My instinct was to hold tight and not just respond immediately. In a few hours, maybe. Or tomorrow.

But, did that actually make sense? We were, afterall, talking about online dating. Or...online kink partner finding. There were far more of me - horny men with few options - than there were of people like her. She could be humoring messages from any number of people simultaneously. And with every second I waited, I could just be giving her the opportunity to build a connection with Rod. Or Lucas. Or Jane. Or...who knows.

I put my groceries away, including all but one bottle of my beer, which I opened and poured into a glass.

It was one of those moments in any long-term relationship when you could hear your partner talking to you as if they were there: You’re going to dirty a glass when you could just drink it out of the bottle?

It certainly didn’t stop me. I filled my glass and took a seat to re-read Lucy’s message.

You can bet that I’ll be checking. What I find better not disappoint.

I thought carefully about how I wanted to respond. Should I send a picture? I could see myself slipping into a diaper, using it, and then sending it off to her for judgment.

God, no. That was an absolutely terrible idea.

I started typing: Come over and see for yourself…

I erased it. Trying again:

Me: I won’t let you down. I suspect you’re not someone I’d want to disappoint.

I had no idea if that was true or not, but it sounded good. I stared at my message for a few moments, debating on if this was the best response I could come up with. Ultimately, I was afraid that the more I thought about it, the less genuine it would be. I needed to trust my gut - but not the part of my gut that wanted to send a picture of my diaper to her.

Send.

And it was back to waiting around. I took a few deep breaths. Once upon a time I had taken up meditation. I never got a lot out of it, but I stuck with it far longer than I thought I would - perhaps in the hopes that one day it would pay off. It didn’t. But, one thing I did get out of it was the ability to center myself. A few deep and clarifying breaths was sometimes all it took.

Breathe in. Breathe out.

Okay, good to go. I would just drink this beer, find something to watch on the tube and then later I’d get something to eat and…

My phone vibrated. A new message from Lucy.

Well fuck. How about that?

I was happy to see a slightly longer message from her this time. Without even reading it, this felt like progress.

Lucy: I’m sure you spend lots of time in a dirty diaper. I’m not too concerned about it being a waste of my time. But potty-pants aside - how are you? Doing anything with yourself this weekend? Actually, no, potty-pants included.

I laughed out loud. Her response wasn’t actually hilarious, per se. But it charmed the hell out of me. It felt like a victory, and I badly needed one.

The hell with waiting any amount of time before responding.

Me: You know, it’s been a minute since I was in a diaper. Maybe I should rectify that? Otherwise, it’s been a quiet weekend.

I wanted to mention Veronica somehow. My profile did state that I was married and in an open relationship. It was far more complicated than that, of course, but that was certainly the most basic version of that story. Still, I felt the need to reiterate that. Just in case she hadn’t read it. I could think of nothing more soul-crushing at that moment than building a rapport with her only for her to balk at me being a married man.

Me: My partner is away today, so I’m just enjoying some alone time. How are you? What are you up to this weekend?

“Partner” was a strange choice of word. I could’ve - should’ve - just used “wife” instead, but partner had a slight mystique about it that just sounded...better.

I hit send.

Somewhere above me, I heard a single “thump.” It wasn’t uncommon to hear the occasional stray noise from the apartments near ours. We were always thankful that our neighbors weren’t especially loud. But knowing that the noise was coming from Ashley’s apartment - where her and Veronica were doing god-knows-what - didn’t sit well with me. What choice did I have but to assume the worst?

Above me, I imagined, Ashley had just tackled Veronica to the ground, and she was now pinning her down while she wore only a diaper. She was bending down over and over again to land little kisses on Veronica’s face.

Fuck, that was turning me on a little bit.

Maybe it was best not to think about it, lest my imagination run away from me.

Saved by the vibration, a new message from Lucy.

Lucy: Well if you haven’t been in a diaper yet today, and you have the time and privacy, I’m not sure what you’re waiting for.

My heart fluttered.

Lucy: But it's been a quiet weekend for me too. But that's far from a bad thing.

I had to pause and be real with myself. I did not know Lucy. 80% of what I knew of her - perhaps more than that - was what I had imagined of her in my fantasies. It was absolutely exhilarating to have her suggest that I go put on a diaper right now - just as it would have been if it was anyone else.

Breathe in. Breathe out.

Okay, good. With that out of my system, I stood and laughed again. Goddamn I felt really good. And you know what? I immediately went to the bedroom, fished a diaper out of the closet and proceeded to put it on.

I had left my pants in the bedroom. For a brief moment, I thought: well, I certainly don’t need these right now. But I could just see Veronica, or Ashley, bursting through the door at any moment without warning. It’d be best to keep my pants close.

With that out of the way.

Me: I don’t want to say that I did it just because you suggested that I did, but I suddenly find myself in a diaper. Funny how a little encouragement works sometimes. You claim to be a switch in your profile - does this mean you have your moments in diapers yourself?

I sat back down on the couch. No matter how many times in my life I would wear a diaper, the feeling of moving around in one never ceased to feel new and different to me. Just wearing a diaper was sometimes exciting enough.

Another noise from upstairs. Maybe something heavy being dragged across the floor? Just ignore it.

At no point since I had returned home from the store did I feel like I needed to go to the bathroom. Now, with the diaper on, I could feel little aches in my bladder. This was what usually happened. Something about a diaper just triggered the part of my brain that needed to use it as soon as possible.

Not now. Not yet. I wanted to savor this moment - just sitting here in my thick diaper.

A new message from Lucy appeared. The diaper had helped considerably in easing the wait between her messages. Though, it wasn’t like I had to wait long. We both seemed to be ready and waiting for each other’s messages right now.

Lucy: Was it really that easy to get you into a diaper? Some people like to put up a little bit of a fight - even if it's just a front. But not you, I guess.

My cheeks were flushed. I had been called out and exposed.

Lucy: I do consider myself a switch in some regards. Not so much with diapers. I’ve tried them, and while I never minded wearing them, I think I’ve had much more fun when I got to put someone else into them. Your partner? Do they like to play with you?

Oof. Her question took some wind out of my sails, though certainly not enough to derail the headspace I was enjoying as I chatted with her in my diaper.

Me: I wish I had something more witty to say - but...I suppose, deep down, I knew that I needed to be in a diaper and I was waiting for someone else to notice. My partner is, I think, well aware of the things that I like. But alas, that’s not something we do with each other.

But with our neighbors, on the other hand… I opted to leave that part out of my response.

Me: Do you have any other partners? Any other babies you’re keeping in diapers, perhaps?

My bladder seemed to yearn a little bit more for a release. Not yet.

Lucy: Maybe I do have a knack for finding the babies most in need of being reminded that they are, in fact, babies. As for me...no partners or babies on my end these days. I’m fresh out of a relationship, actually, so I’ve just been poking around the online dating pool to see what's out there. A lot of babies, apparently. Whether they’re willing to admit it or not.

It seemed like a dig on men on more vanilla dating platforms too, though this was just speculation on my part. I couldn’t decide if her recent breakup was a good thing or a bad thing for me.

Me: I’d like to think that all men are apt to regress at the sound of their mommy’s voice.

Lucy: Ha, perhaps. Meanwhile, the other half of men - who need no assistance in being babies - are all in my inbox right now.

Me: And yet I’ve somehow managed to rise to the top for your attention? How did I manage to stumble into your good graces?

Lucy: It’s not as hard as you think. Full sentences. Good spelling. No pictures of your dirty diaper that I didn’t ask for.

I was now completely elated that I had talked myself out of doing that earlier.

Me: Are there really that few of us?

Lucy: Oh, you’d be surprised.

Me: Maybe not, actually…

Lucy: I guess I should be upfront. I don’t know what I’m looking for. I’m not sure what I can commit to. I keep telling myself that I’m not just looking for a rebound, but… there’s a chance that I might be.

Me: If it helps, I’m not really sure what I’m looking for either.

Lucy: What brings you here, then?

Don’t say revenge. Don’t say revenge.

Me: Revenge.

Lucy: That sounds...complicated.

Me: I was kidding, mostly. My wife and I are currently exploring an open relationship. She’s found someone and has encouraged me to do the same. So, here I am. Mingling. Getting my feet wet.

Lucy: If I’m being honest, if I wasn’t in the position I’m in now, that would probably trigger some warning bells.

Me: Oh? Why so?

Lucy: I dunno. “Exploring” an open relationship? Looking for someone under duress while your partner is already seeing someone? It feels like a situation that could potentially crash and burn, hurting whoever it is you manage to meet.

Me: Oh...yeah, I suppose you’re right.

Lucy: But… I’m in a strange position right now. Maybe I want to take stupid chances. And maybe if things do escalate to the crashing and burning stage, I can just get into an escape pod and take off.

Me: So are you...committing to not committing?

Lucy: Maybe? But we shouldn’t worry about that. Let’s worry about you.

Me: Me? What about me?

Lucy: Well, for one, your diaper? How’s it holding up?

There was another little flutter in my chest. My heart was pounding a little bit more.

Me: Oh, that. It’s dry right now.

Lucy: A shame.

Me: But...only because I’ve been holding it. I could use it. I should probably use it.

Lucy: Holding? That’s a silly thing to do. Babies don’t do that. And you are a baby, aren’t you?

I had to take a deep breath. I wondered if I should pinch myself. Was this happening? Even though it was just words on a screen, I had never been spoken to like this outside of my fantasies.

Me: Well, I don’t know about that…

Lucy: You’re wearing a diaper, aren’t you?

Me: I am.

Lucy: Case closed, Baby. Now, why don’t you go and wet yourself. I don’t want to hear from you again until you have. I’ll wait.

I put down the phone. Then I picked it back up again and re-read her message. Then I went back and re-read our entire conversation.

This was incredible and I was feeling invigorated in ways I had never felt before. Whoever she was, I was under her spell.

Did I need to stand? Should I be sitting? It was like I had forgotten how to piss myself.

Standing. No, squatting.

That felt like the right position. My bladder definitely needed to release, but I had so much anticipation for this moment that I was finding it hard to actually release.

C’mon…

My phone vibrated again. Strange, I thought she said she wasn’t going to message me again until I had…

I glanced at the screen. It wasn’t a new message from Lucy. It was a text from Veronica.

Veronica: I hope you don’t mind, but we’re coming back down to our place for a little bit. We want to play with makeup.

Veronica’s pack-rat approach to her makeup hobby had driven me crazy in the past. Expensive pallets of eyeliners and pricey lipsticks that were used once or twice before being cast into a drawer of her vanity - never to be seen again. It should’ve been of little surprise that this hobby would find new ways to frustrate me now.

Me to Veronica: Of course. See you here.

Veronica: Put your pants on before we get there.

She was teasing - I sincerely hoped she was just teasing - but that really was exactly what I needed to do. I quickly debated whether or not I should ditch the diaper too.

No, no. Don’t do that. Somewhere, Lucy was waiting for a report on what I had done, and I wasn’t about to let Veronica get in the way of this too.

I pulled up my pants with just seconds to spare, as the door opened and the two entered. Ashley was wearing that adorably infantile pinafore dress she had shown off the other day. Veronica already had Ashley’s hair in pigtails and, perhaps, some blush on her cheeks? Or, she was just blushing.

“We’ll be out of your way in just a moment,” Veronica said as she marched past me and into the bedroom.

“Can I get either of you anything to drink?” I asked.

“I’m good,” Veronica said from the bedroom. “Ashley?”

“Maybe some water for me,” she said. She hadn’t stepped into the bedroom yet.

I poured her a glass and set it on the table.

“How are you?” she asked.

“Good,” I said with a smile. “And you?”

“I’m…uh… Can you tell that I’m wearing a diaper?”

I stepped back. The dress was on the shorter side, but it’s shape managed to disguise whatever was happening under it pretty well.

I shook my head.

“Good,” she said. “Veronica doesn’t know yet.”

I nodded. Breathe in. Breathe out.

“Are...you wearing a diaper?” she asked.

“H-how did you know?”

“Oh,” she said with a giggle. “I didn’t actually know. I was just asking.”

I felt my cheeks grow warm. I wondered how the color of mine compared to hers.

“Cute,” she added. “Look at us diaper babies. Ah well, you have fun. I’ve got to go play with makeup with…” She stumbled over her words for a moment - likely about to say the m-word. “...Veronica. Talk to you later?”

“Of course,” I said. “Have fun.”

Without even thinking about it, I began to wet myself as she walked away - the slightest hint of her poofy bottom showing through the bouncing fabric of her dress.