Mommy Lessons, Chapter 8 (Patreon)

Lesson Eight: Going Out with Baby

Despite the fact that I was not only well aware of Neil’s kink, but that I also wanted to participate in it in any way, shape or form, he insisted on keeping a lot of that part of his life private. In almost every instance, he chose to act on his desires in secret. I’m sure there’s things that I may never know about. There’s no recording or history of them other than his memory - something he just won’t share with me.

I ran into a former colleague about a year ago, Nancy. We weren’t ever especially close, but we had at least always been on good terms. We ran into each other while grocery shopping one afternoon, and one of the first things she did was congratulate me. And...I had no idea what I had done to earn that. When I inquired, she told me that she had run into my husband a few months prior. Apparently they had also run into each other whilst at the same store.

She didn’t know him well - they had run into each other at a few work functions. But, apparently, looking at his face everyday on a picture on my desk had burned his face into her memory, and when she saw him with a shopping basket packed full of baby wipes and pacifiers, she assumed that we had a baby.

We hadn’t. I gently skirted around the subject, making up a story about a fictional sibling’s baby shower. She shrugged it off as if it wasn’t a big deal, but our encounter had lingered with me well after that afternoon. I imagined Neil galavanting across town, buying diapers or baby bottles, or whatever it was that he did. Maybe he was even wearing diapers in public. Maybe there was some sort of public humiliation aspect that I wasn’t even aware of.

A few months ago, I read a short blurb on a local news website about used adult diapers being found out along the side of one of the highways. For a few weeks in a row, someone was routinely dropping off their dirty diapers for someone else to clean up. The message from the township, and the local police, had been pretty simple: “Please stop.”

There were a lot of people in our little corner of the world. It could be anyone, and it could be for any reason. But there’s a part of me that wonders if Neil had anything to do with that. Was he disposing his diapers on the side of the road? I had hoped not. But, again, I felt like anything was possible.

Even during my weekend at Averie’s, I wondered what he was doing. Where he had been. Who he was doing it with.

“I have a car seat,” Averie said. “It’s pretty adorable, really. It’s very large and it tends to completely embarrass anyone who I have sat in it. Sadly, as this weekend is a bit of a last minute adventure, I didn’t have time to put it in the car. I suppose I should have you sit in the back seat. But, wouldn’t you know it, the back windows are tinted just enough that I doubt anyone could see you. What would be the fun in that? Don’t you think they should see your beautiful pig tails and your pacifier?”

I nodded.

She had reapplied the makeup, much to my dismay. My cheeks were a bright fuschia once more, and even my lips had a newfound rosy-ness to them. If the strangers we ran into in public didn’t think I was a baby, I’d be curious as to what they’d think I was. I looked like I was three going on 33, and it was almost more embarrassing than just going into public in just a onesie and diaper. At least then, I thought, people would know what they’re looking at.

Most of the drive was spent on the highway. I was thankful that we were rarely alongside another car for long enough to attract the attention of other motorists. Twice, as far as I knew, did my appearance seem to yield any sort of reaction. The first time was a truck driver, who looked down into my passenger seat of Averie’s SUV and shot me a quizzical tilted head before we passed him and left him in the dust. The second time was a young man - maybe in his late teens or early 20s, bumper stickers on his car that made references to things I never heard of. We drove alongside each other for a mile or so. In fact, I swore that Averie was controlling our speed so that he had some extra time to gawk. Over that mile, I saw his expression slowly morph from curious and confused to quite interested. I could practically see him drooling.

I felt a flutter in my gut as we left him behind on the highway. It would take a few miles for me to realize that I was just the slightest bit fond of the way he looked at me. It had made me a little wet, truth be told.

“I don’t want you to be scared,” she finally said to me after quite a few miles of silence. “A little humiliated, yes. But not so scared of being seen that you hide behind me.”

I nodded.

“You can take your pacifier out, Dumpling. Talk to me.”

“I...I’m okay,” I said.

“Have you ever done such a thing?”

“Hmm?”

“Gone out in public in a manner where you expect some attention?”

“Probably,” I said, staring out the window. That question sent me on a little trip down a memory hole.

“Oh? Care to elaborate?”

“I mean...I was young. As you were. I remember getting dressed up for a Friday or Saturday night, you know? I wasn’t exactly, like, ‘asking for it,’ but I was at least hoping to get a few eyes on me.”

She laughed and nodded.  “You’re a cute girl, as I’m sure you were then too. Did it work?”

“Sometimes.”

We shared a look. I’m not sure there was a word, barely even a simple description, for it. The look of two people who had seen some things. Good memories, bad memories, and memories better left unprocessed.

“Where are we going?” I asked finally. I didn’t want to ask. I had been trying my hardest to let her just do her thing. Yet, I felt like, somehow, I had earned at least an answer to that one question.

“Nowhere terribly exciting, I’m afraid. Just a few things for the house. But we’ll be sure to restock a few things for the nursery. And, really, it probably doesn’t matter where we go. You’re sure to get some heads turning.”

I thought about Neil and the mysteries of how he spent his free time. “Do you ever take babies...out? In public?”

“Quite often,” she said. “It’s a common request, really.”

“Has it ever, like, gone badly?”

Her head wobbled back and forth, as if she was debating with herself on the answer she wanted to give. “In most cases, I’d say that it was fine. When things don’t go well, it’s usually because a baby gets a little too excited and does things that defy better judgment.

“Oh?”

“We’ll just say that I’m no longer welcome in a particular location of a particular retail store following a situation where a baby in my care thought it’d be best to plant themselves on the floor of the baby toy aisle while babbling about their wet pampers to anyone who would listen.”

“Oh.”

“You don’t have to be a mommy to every baby,” she said. A lesson, I suppose, if I still cared about learning such things.

The big box store. It was the biggest of boxiest stores, and there I was, walking through the parking lot in my juvenile t-shirt, pig-tails, bright pink cheeks, diaper bulge, and ladybug backpack carrying more diapers. Could a larger target have been drawn on me?

She reached out and clutched my hand in hers, leading me through the busy parking lot.

To be honest, I wasn’t really sure what people’s reaction to my get-up was. People darted to and fro around us, yet nobody seemed particularly fixated on me. It was an interesting phenomenon - as if a crowd of people with their minds already dwelling on their own personal matters were incapable of stopping and seeing the strange abnormality right in front of them.

Occasionally some eyes would linger on me for a moment longer than they would have normally. Then there was a man who seemed to be following us for a few aisles, until he either went off on his own path, or realized that it was a little too obvious that he was following us. The entire time, Averie went about her business as if it was a normal day. She’d just casually place things in her shopping cart while I tried to stay close to her at all times, always conscious of what angles people could be looking at me from.

“Don’t dawdle,” she said to me at one point, as I strayed a little further than I meant to from her. “I’d like to keep you close by in case I need to check your diaper.”

There was no way that my face hadn’t turned a previously-undiscovered shade of deep red. There were at least five other people in the aisle, and their expressions seemed to range from completely unaware, to completely indifferent, to completely curious.

“I...but…”

“Would you like to have to use your pacifier while you’re in the store?”

I had no idea if this was a threat or just a question, but I could’ve dropped dead at that moment.

“Would you say you have a sensitive bottom?” she asked while in the baby aisle, picking up a pack of wipes. “I don’t think I’ve ever had a baby tell me that a normal baby wipe was too...abrasive? I’m not sure what ‘extra sensitive’ means in this context.”

“Tell me about it,” another woman chimed in. She seemed just oblivious enough to not have thought anything odd about Averie asking me about my bottom. “You see things like ‘extra sensitive’ wipes, or ‘cruiser’ diapers - whatever they are. And I had two kids before who never had things like that, you know? I feel like they’re creating answers for problems that nobody ever had.”

“It seems that way,” Averie said, laughing. She looked at me, a wry grin on her face, before looking back at the woman. “Do you care for a baby now?”

“Grandchildren,” the woman said. “A whole generation of things I don’t understand. I don’t know what a BPA is, and I’m not sure why I should care that  And you? Do you have children?”

“I watch over babies from time to time,” Averie said with a casual shrug.

“Bless your heart,” the woman said. “Aren’t they just the most precious thing? You almost don’t want to see them grow up.”

“You really don’t,” Averie replied. “I do my best to make sure they don’t.”

Both of them laughed, though I wondered if the woman even knew why she was laughing.

“I’m sorry to bother you,” the woman said.

“Oh not at all. It’s always nice to feel like I’m not the only one in the world who doesn’t get all this,” Averie said.

The woman was only a few steps further away when Averie added: “See, Dumpling, we’ll just get you the normal wipes. I don’t think your bottom is that sensitive.”

I was terrified to look back and see if there was any reaction from the woman. We moved on from that aisle.

“Do I need to check your diaper?” she asked in a tone that was low, but certainly not low enough.

“I...no...I didn’t…”

“But would you tell me if you had?”

I sheepishly shrugged. I’d like to say the answer was yes, but I really wasn’t sure.

I was still feeling on edge - both from just being in the store in my current state and from our interaction with the stranger in a previous aisle - but somewhere under that near-constant embarrassment was excitement. I felt like I was starting to understand what people, Averie’s clients, liked about public humiliation.

She was taking her time. It felt like we were going up and down every aisle - even when there was nothing in the aisle she needed. If this was a game - she had to know that it wasn’t one she’d win. I had managed to go my entire life without pissing my pants in a store. It wasn’t likely that today, the one day I was in diapers, would be the day that I’d have such an accident.

But…

But, this did feel like an opportunity that she was giving me. I could imagine the other babies she took to the store - desperate little kinksters like Neil, who had spent years perfecting each and every fantasy - not wanting a chance like this to go to waste.

And what would they do? They’d wet their diapers. They might even do worse. They’d want to get a rise out of Mommy and see what she’d do. They both feared and wanted that reaction.

Goddamit, I did too.

One I knew what I wanted to do, it wasn’t that hard to get my body on board with the plan. I worried there’d be some sort of pee-shyness, but I could already feel my bladder ready and aching. It wanted to be released and was just waiting on the word.

Go. Let it all out.

It felt good, as it had before when I had wet my diapers. But this felt even better. Maybe because I was in public. I had a secret, and nobody knew what I was doing in my pants. Not even Averie. No doubt she would, sooner than later, know what happened. But for now? The knowledge was all mine.

I wondered if Averie noticed something before she said something. Could she see it in my face? The way my bottom swelled and grew firmer between my legs? Was it how I walked? Not long after I had flooded my diapers, I couldn’t help but notice that her expression had changed a little too. She looked smug.

A new game had started - who would say something about it first? Would I tell her that I had wet my diaper in the middle of the store? Or would she ask me if I had done that? Aisle after aisle she slowly pushed her cart. She’d make small talk here and there, but she remained eerily silent for the most part. Biding her time, I was sure.

I had almost forgotten how silly my outfit was, but then every once in a while someone would stare at me and I’d grow embarrassed and self-conscious all over again. Yes, I look like a little girl. And if you think that’s something, you oughta see what’s going on in my pants right now.

Now we were in the line for the checkout. Of the 15 or so registers that this store seemed to have, only four of them were open, and all of them had considerable lines. I was starting to get a little antsy. The diaper was obviously made to hold an “accident” like this, but for how long? At what point did I have to worry about something like a leak? Or worse...a smell?

“Dumpling?”

“Y-yes?”

“How is your diaper?”

Again, I felt my face turn scarlet. She said it so plainly that anyone could have heard it. In fact, the young couple ahead of us, both turned back to face us, perhaps curious to see who asked the question, and who the question was asked too. I could only imagine what they thought when they saw me: the supposed adult in pigtails, childish clothing and backpack. They turned back to face forward, whispering and muttering to each other.

“I...well…”

“Go on. You can tell Mommy.”

The guy in front of us wanted to turn around again. He almost had, but the woman held his wrist firmly. No, you can’t look again, her body language said. It’ll be too obvious.

“Yes.”

“Yes what?” she asked.

Please don’t do this to me, I thought. But, then again, this is what I had kind of asked for.

“I...uhm...I’m wet.”

“You’re wet?”

“I...wet...my diaper.”

“Ah, I see,” she said, giving me a satisfied nod. “Was that so hard to admit?”

I shook my head, even if that was a lie.

I could’ve sworn that the couple ahead of us in line was laughing.

“I want you to do something for me,” she said to me.

I nodded, nervous of what she’d ask me to do.

“I want you to hold onto these things,” she said, grabbing a handful of things from the car and thrusting them into my arms. “You’ll purchase these items yourself, in a separate transaction.”

“But…”

“I will pay for everything. I just need to you hold these things for now.”

For a moment, I was completely baffled. Why separate transactions? Why would I carry these things when she had a cart in front of her that was perfectly capable of holding them?

All I had to do to answer that question, though, was to look down at the objects she gave me. Baby wipes. A package of bibs. More baby food. An enema. I don’t even remember her putting an enema in the cart.

I looked back to her in disbelief.

“These are business expenses, Dumpling. I have to charge them to my business card. You understand, don’t you?”

“But…” I didn’t even know what else to say. There I was - the weird baby-girl, holding her baby food and enemas.

It was our turn at the register. I quickly dropped all of the objects that Averie had handed me onto the conveyor belt where they were scanned by a young man. Todd, so said his name badge. As he picked up the first item, the bibs, he glanced at me, seeming perplexed. I watched the gears turning in his head as he tried to make heads or tails of what my style was; what I was supposed to be. He looked back down at the bib as he put them in the bag. Then the wipes - again glancing back to me again. Then the baby food, then he looked back to me again. Finally, the enema - seemingly the final piece of the puzzle.

“If you must know,” Averie chimed in - clearly aware of Todd’s questioning leer, “they are all, most definitely, for her.”

“Oh...what?” Todd replied, perhaps unprepared to have an actual answer just handed to him.

“I mean, just look at her. Does she not look like a little girl?”

“Uh, I mean…”

Meanwhile, I was petrified. I had died of embarrassment and had left my body behind. I was watching the scene play out from 10 feet above everyone else, while my physical body stayed rooted in the ground.

“Isn’t she pretty though? Go on...Todd, is it? Tell her how pretty she looks.”

“Uhm, well, uh-yeah, I mean, you do look pretty…”

I had to hand it to Averie. Yet again, she had proven that she was an absolute masterful puppetmaster. Poor Todd had strings dangling from all of his limbs now. I wondered what else she could do with him, if she wanted to.

Instead, she just paid for the transaction, before having her own rung up. My heart thumped like a jackhammer until we were back in the car again.