QH Archive: Mother in Law (Patreon)

She slammed the bedroom door shut behind her and glared at him. While he knew she was upset with him, he had no idea just how upset she was. 

“You are unbelievable,” she said. It was that deceivingly calm voice she used when she was beyond frustrated. It was almost more terrifying than when she actually yelled, because he could just sense how hard she was trying to restrain herself. 

“It...it was an accident.”

“I’m sure it was. You seem to have been having a lot of those lately. I could almost ignore them - piss yourself in the car or when you’re mowing the lawn? Fine, at least nobody saw you. But now? Of all the times you had to piss yourself again, you chose now?” 

“I didn’t ‘choose’ now,” he pleaded. “That’s why it's called an accident.” 

“You don’t understand, Jeffery.” This was how he really knew he was in trouble. She only used his full name when she was truly angry. “My mother has only been visiting for two hours and she watched you piss your pants in the kitchen! Did you see the look on her face? Complete disgust and disappointment. That doesn’t just make you look bad in her eyes, it makes me look bad too. I cannot believe you.” 

“Look, I’ll just go out there, apologize, and then…” 

“No, you’re not going to say a thing. You’ve done enough damage. I’m going to go out there and try to smooth things over. You stay here and...I don’t know...change into some pants you haven’t pissed in yet.” 

It was at that moment that there was a knock on the door. 

“Mother, we’re a little busy. I’ll be out in a moment.” 

“No need, Jessica,” her mother responded from through the door. “I’d actually like to help. I’m going to run to the drug store and buy your husband some diapers. When I come back, I’d like to help you with your little problem.” 

Jeffrey stared at his wife in disbelief. “N-no way,” he said in a hushed tone. “You can’t let that happen.” 

Jessica thought about it for just a moment before shrugging. “It’s out of my hands now. You did this to yourself.” Then, opening the bedroom door, she looked to her mother and smiled: “Yes, please, mother. I would really appreciate that.”

This story has been re-edited and reformatted since its original publishing on Tumblr. This version is exclusive to my patrons.