QH Archives: How Ken Spent His Summer Vacation (Patreon)

 “Hey Diane, I just wanted to drop off those books you lent me.  Thank you so much for letting me borrow them.  I thought there was some really good...wait...what is your son doing in the playpen?”

“Oh, well, you know, toddlers can’t be left to their own devices.”

“I mean...your son is, what, 21?”

“22, actually.”

“And he’s in a...diaper? Just a diaper?”

“Well, he’s been a very naughty boy as of late.  Skipping the college classes we paid so much money for and getting caught with beer on campus.  I made him a little deal.  I’d only continue to shell out for his college education if he learned a little humility over the summer.”

“I have to say, Diane, I’m impressed.  He looks so...docile.”

“That’s just the dumbfounded look he gets when he needs his diaper changed.”

“Oh my.  You mean he...”

“Oh yes.  He’s my baby boy this summer, aren’t you, Kenny?  Oh, he won’t answer me with that pacifier in his mouth.  Probably for the best.  He can be quite whiny.  Would you like to come see the basement?  I got rid of the pool table to make room for an extra large changing table for him.”

This story has been re-edited and partially re-written since its original posting on Tumblr. This version is exclusively for my patrons.