QH Archives: New Year's Resolution (Patreon)

 What is your New Year's Resolution?

No, don’t tell me. I don't want to know. Whatever it is, I'm sure that it won't interest me.  You'd like to lose weight, maybe, or you'd like to make more time for yourself.  Save more money.  Read more books.  It's bullshit, all of it.  You know this, right?  Come March, you'll have forgotten whatever promise it was you made to yourself.

Here’s an idea:  I shall choose your resolution for you.  This year, you aren't going to be so bashful about that little secret of yours.  I've grown tired of watching you hem and haw and blush, when I ask you what you want.  

You will come crawling to me when you want your precious diapers.  Because you won't be holding on to them anymore. They will be in my closet, and that closet will be locked.

"Please," you'll beg.  "I need a diaper."

"Why?" I'll ask.

"I'm a pathetic baby," you’ll respond.  "I need a diaper right now, or else I'm going to have an accident."

I'm going to laugh at you.  I'm going to mock you.  But I'll give you your diaper.  And then you’re going to put on and use it for me, aren’t you? You’ll love every moment of it, too.