My Crumbling Apartment (abridged) (Patreon)

A pipe burst in the bathroom of the apartment upstairs before we moved in. We were assured it was fixed. Months later, my closet, which is on the other side of the wall that was ruined, was filled with mold.

Super: I'll fix it. *paints over mold*

Me: There is still mold and my closet smells like SwampThing's balls. Also parts of my bathroom ceiling are squishy.

Super: Oh, yeah. That might be because I was supposed to let the water damage dry out for a couple weeks but instead I just put drywall over it.

Me:....Why the fuck would you do that?

Super: Well you moved in so fast.

Me:.....

Super: So your bathroom needed a ceiling fast. I did you a favor.

Me: *murder in my eyes* Please refrain from doing me any more fucking favors.

Super: *never speaks to me again*

Management Company: We'll fix it with more paint!

Me: That didn't work so...no.

Management company: Well then screw you, the mold isn't our fault anyway.

Me: But...it is?

Insurance claims investigator: Yeah, it is.

Contractor friend: Oh, it definitely is.

Management company: LALALALALALALA I can't hear you over the sound of me screaming 'fuck youuuuuuuuuuuuuu.'

Contractor friend: I can fix stuff but it'll be expensive and if there's still water coming in, it'll just fall apart again.

Management company: FALALALALA THERE'S NO WATER FUCK YOU.

Literally everyone: Yep, this is still a lot of ongoing water damage.

Management company: There's nothing wrong, we won't fix it.

NYC Department of Housing: There is definitely something wrong. Your management company has to fix it.

Management Company: There's nothing wrong but we will fix it and then charge you.

Me: Hell no. *calls lawyer*

Management company: Ok there is something wrong. We will fix your closet by walling the mold in behind a special kind of dry wall called greenboard.

Me: That sounds like bullshit.

Contractor friend: That is absolutely bullshit.

Lawyer: Legally, you're in a better position if you let them do their bullshit and then prove that it didn't work.

Me: >:|

Maintenance company: *walls in mold behind regular drywall, which is even more bullshit.*

Me: *internally* What the fuck dude. It's mold, not some wine loving jag who pissed you off too many times.

Me: *externally*   >:<

Maintenance company: And we'll see where the water is coming from and fix your ceiling.

Me: *waves tiny flag of victory. Waits to see how they fuck this up.