Anger Managment (Patreon)

Anger Management.

Matt walked into the Galensburg Comic Stop. “Hey, Patrik.”

Patrik waved at him. “Hey Matt. How’s it going?”

He put his hands into his pockets. “Ughh. I am struggling to pay my rent. So, nothing is new. How about you?”

“I am dating Tess. I think. Our first date was very interesting.” Patrick leaned against the glass counter. “I am still waiting for a callback, but it was fun.”

“Oh. Did you two you know?” He made a suggestive hand motion.

Patrick’s face turned red. “What? How could you even think that? I was a perfect gentleman to Tess. I would never drive her around town. Never. I say NEVER!”

Matt raised an eyebrow. “Patrick, what are you talking about?”

Patrick scratched at the back of his head. “I umm. . . you know it’s not important.

Let’s change the subject, shall we? Did you know Sarah and Carien are getting married?”

“WHAT!”

Patrick gulped. “Oh, wait. You hate Sarah. I forgot.”

Matt grabbed a mint-condition Spiderman figurine. “That bitch gets off scoff free from the trial, and now she thinks she can just. . . ughh.” He slammed the figurine onto the ground, shattering it. “I am sick and tired of hearing about her. I wish she would just leave town!”

Patrick slammed his hand on the counter. “Hey, you can’t just go breaking the merchandise. And Sarah is my friend. I won’t have you go bad-mouthing her.” He pointed at the door. “Out!”

“You can’t tell me to leave. I am a paying customer.”

Patrick narrowed his eyes. “Don’t make me call the cops.”

Matt snorted. “Whatever.” He walked to the door. “I don’t want to be here with someone who is such a. . . ughh.” He slammed the door as he exited the building. “I swear this entire town is just going insane. Do they not see the danger people of Sarah’s size can pose? Tearing town buildings? We need to do something about it. Ughh.” He kicked a rock, sending it flying through a nearby window. “Ugh, fuck’s sake!”

An exotically dressed lady appeared in the window. “What the hell is your problem?

You can’t just go assaulting property like that.”

Matt snorted and looked at the store. “Well, with a place called Potion’s R Us, it isn’t much of a surprise someone didn’t do this sooner.” The lady narrowed her eyes. “I mean seriously. What is this? A voodoo shop? Must be by the way you are dressed.”

The lady vanished before reappearing at the store's doorway. “You are a very unpleasant man.” She walked towards him, her multicolored dress blowing in the wind. “What is your name?”

He shrugged. “Matt. Why?”

She pushed him. “Well, Matt, I think you are one of the most unpleasant men I have met in my life, and you need a serious attitude adjustment.”

He laughed. “Oh, please. I have had multiple people tell me that over the last few months. Get in line.” He snorted. “So, what is it exactly that you even sell in that place? I haven’t even seen your store here before. How did it get here? Who did you bump off.”

The lady narrowed her eyes. “Why don’t you come in and find out. Unless you are afraid.”

“Me afraid? Never.” He pushed her aside. “In fact, I am going in there to get evidence.”

The lady giggled. “Oh, you are now.”

He walked up to the door. “Yes. As I think this place should be shut down. Randomly appearing out of nowhere.” He stepped inside, gasping as he realized the store was much larger on the inside than it appeared from the outside. “Holy crap.”

The strange lady stood behind him, putting her hand on his shoulder. “Everything ok?”

“No, I umm. . .” He scratched at the back of his head. “How the hell is this place so big? The outside is like a small house. Well. . .” He turned his head. “What was your name again?”

She walked forward. “I never told you. It’s Beth.”

“Oh.” Matt followed her. “Well, Beth, explain.”

“It’s magic.”

Matt shook his head. “Magic isn’t real. Just like that giantess freak, Sarah shouldn’t be real.”

Beth rolled her eyes. “How the hell did this jerk get chosen to find this store. God help me.”

“What?”

She turned around. “Never mind. Why don’t you go and pick out a potion, sir.”

Matt put his hands into his torn jean’s pockets. “No way. I do not trust anything here. I only came here to get evidence that his place is some voodoo shop.”

Beth narrowed her eyes. “You. . .” She took a deep breath. “Fine, fine.

But first, how about I offer you some bottled water. I am sure you are parched.” She turned around and grabbed water from one of the nearby counters. “It has been searing hot outside after all. And don’t you want something to help with getting that evidence you need?”

Matt eyed the water suspiciously. “How do I know this isn’t poison?”

“It is made from Aquafina, for god’s sake!” She sighed. “Just take it.” She threw it at him.

“Fine.” He unscrewed the cap. “But I am still watching you.” Matt took a few gulps. “Ugh, this water tastes kind of funny.”

Beth crossed her arms. “Well, it should.” She snorted. “As it was secretly one of my potions. You are going to get what you deserve, you little prick. I don’t know why you were able to stumble across Potion’s R Us, but no one comes into my shop and calls this voodoo or tries to report me to who knows what.” She grabbed him by the collar of his shirt. “Besides, I saw you at the giantess trial. You are nothing but a low life. I hope you enjoy the little surprise I gave you. It should even you out.”

Matt gulped. “What the hell did you do to me?”

Beth laughed. “Oh, you will see. Now get out of here before I do something a bit more extreme to you.” She turned around and picked up a wooden wand. “You don’t want to turn into a toad now, do you?”

Matt gulped, backing away, worried that the strange woman’s words might be true. “Ok, lady. I am going. I am going.” He turned around and dashed for the door.

***

After he was gone, Mr. Gongsel walked into the room.

“Beth, that was unacceptable.”

Beth turned around. “But sir, he deserved it.” She set the wand down on the table as her boss shuffled towards him. “What was I going to do? Let him treat our store like shit? Get away for all the things he did?”

“Beth, it is not your place as the future owner of Potion’s R Us to judge the people who are chosen to come into this store.” She sighed. “You know that this will mean more discipline training for you.”

“But Mr. Gongsel, I can’t take any more of that.” She fell down onto her knees. “I just can’t.”

He put his hand on her shoulder. “Until you learn how to manage this job correctly, it must be done, girl.”

***

Later that night, Matt stood in this bathroom as he brushed his teeth. “Fucking crazy, Beth lady. Fucking Sarah.” He spat his toothpaste into the sink. “What is the world coming to? Giantess’s. Potion shops. Ughh.” He gripped his stomach as he turned towards the door, flicking the light off. “Ughh, I think that stupid bitch Beth’s potion thing is starting to make me sick. I am to get her shop shut down.” He slid under the covers of his bed. “She can’t do this to me. It’s against the law. It’s. . .” He yawned, feeling extremely tired all of a sudden. “Ughh, for fucks sake.” He closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.

***

Matt’s dreams were filled with thoughts of buying exotic new clothing, lipstick, and bras. Sweat covered his body as he twisted and turned, images of bouncy squishy breasts covering his body, his dark hair now long and golden. “No, noooo. NOOOOOO!”

Matt shot up; his covers drenched in sweat. “Holy fuck.” He ran his fingers across his body. “That felt so real. I thought I was a chick.” He threw his legs over the side of the bed, his torn blue covers falling onto the ground. “But that is insane. Nothing like that could ever happen. Sure, we have giant ladies walking around.” He walked into the bathroom, his boxers hanging loosely around his body. “And I hear there are human blueberries in a town on the other side of the state, but me being a lady. How absurd. Ahhhhhhhhhh!”

Matt grabbed his face as he looked in the mirror. “What the hell happened to me?”

He ran his fingers over his cheeks. My face. It is so smooth. My hair is long and silky?” He gulped as he looked down. “Where did I get these boobs?” He gently touched them. “Ohh fuck, they are so sensitive.” He took a deep breath. “I thought that was just a dream. Wait.”

Matt bent over and looked at his groin. “Ahhhhhhhhhh! My dick has been replaced with a pussy!”

He fell onto the tile floor and took deep breaths. “Ok, ok. Don’t panic.” He was now realizing his voice was much higher pitched than before. You are just still asleep. That is it. You are asleep.” He laughed. “This is nothing but a nightmare, and you will wake up your normal self.” Matt closed his eyes. “I am not a lady. I am not a lady. I am not a lady.” He opened them. “Fuck!”

Matt slowly stood up. “What the hell am I going to do? I can’t be like this. How did this happen.” He blinked his eyes. “That crazy Beth woman did this to me. Her and her potion.” Matt slammed his foot onto the ground. “She wanted to turn me into a lady, for god knows why.” He rubbed his forehead. “Ughh, why is it so warm in here?”

“Why am I trying so hard to convince myself that I am a silly, silly man.”

Matt blinked his eyes. “What the hell? Why would I think such an outlandish thought?” He scratched at his breasts. “Ugh, these things are getting so fucking sensitive. I just. . .” He took a deep breath. “I think some shopping will do nicely. I mean, I just had an icky gender-bending experience. I need to put that naughty time as a guy behind me.”

Matt blinked his eyes. “Why did I just say that. Ugh, though, going out and buying something wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. I don’t think I have anything in the house. Ughh. I am famished.” She giggled. “Yes. I want to go shopping and get rid of some of these horrid clothes. And Matt is such an ugly name.”

Matt gripped his forehead. “Why do I keep doing that?” He walked to the door, rubbing his breasts. “After I get something to eat, I am going to pay that Beth woman a visit. She has to answer for what she did to me.” Her tone of voice shifted once again. “Oh, why am I thinking of such silly things?” She walked into her bedroom. “Eww, don’t have a thing to wear.” She pulled out the drawers on her dresser. “Yuck. What a bore I was before I drank that potion. Yuck.”

Matt tapped herself on the chin. “Hmm. Now, I really don’t think I should be using Matt as my name anymore. It is such a silly ole name. Now, what should I use.” She hopped back and forth on her heels, giggling as her boobs bounced against one another. “How about Hazel. Yes, I like Hazel.” She giggled to herself. “Gawd, I just love how I can figure these things out.”

Matt blinked his eyes. “Holy crap.” He rubbed his forehead. “I need to stop doing that. I feel like I have a horny bimbo inside of me.” He licked his lips. “I think I can even feel her trying to take control. What did that potion do to me.”

“Oh gawd. Why do I have to keep having such dull thoughts like this.” Hazel sighed. “Trying to get rid of this boorish side of me is so annoying.”

Matt leaned forward onto the dresser, sweat dripping from his forehead. “No.

No!” He waved his hand about. “I am Matt. Matt, you hear me. I don’t care if some stupid potion changed me. I am not going. . .”

She giggled. “Ohh, such a struggler.” Hazel stood up straight. “But I am going to be in control here, darling.” She spun around. “Besides, I don’t think you can handle this ass.” She squeezed her butt and giggled. “Oh my. It is going to be so fun to go out on the town today.”

Hazel could hear Matt’s waning thoughts in her head. “No. If I don’t go into work, I could be fired. You. . . you can’t. . .”

She pulled out a pair of shorts. “Oh, hush. I shall do what I want. Starting with changing this horrid wardrobe. Like seriously, there is nothing fun to wear. Hmm, I think I will have to burn most of these clothes. Ick.” Hazel smiled when she didn’t hear a response in her mind. “Good. Looks like that foolish boy learned his place.”

She pulled out a bland t-shirt. “Well, this will have to do for now.” She moaned as she looked at the dull piece of clothing. “Until I can completely redo my look.” Hazel held back her urge to vomit as she put the shirt on. “Seriously. How could this Matt fellow even think of being seen in such dreadful clothing? He had no taste. None at all.” She shivered. “And to think I have to share this body with him?” Hazel shivered once more. “I am going to have to fight to stay in total control, as I can’t let that foolish boy ever get in control.”

She walked over to the doorway. “Well, I guess it is time to go shopping.” She rubbed her hands together. “I just can’t wait.” Hazel laughed as she made her way through the house. “And maybe one day I will pay a visit to Potion’s R Us again. If I see that Mr. Gongsel again, I will strangle him for putting me into that potion. So, what if I tried to seduce him?” She put her head into her hand and sighed. “I mean, he looked like a nice fellow. A fellow he needed to get laid in the lovely comforts of my breasts.” She giggled.

“But that jerk.” She grabbed the keys and walked outside. “That jerk said I was ruining the sanctity of his store. That it was shameful for someone like me to dare to try and hit on him, no to try and seduce him like a succubus right there in the potion shop. So next thing I know, he throws some powder on me.” She opened the door of Matt’s car and slid inside. “And my body contracts on itself, and I am sucked into a potion. Ughh.” She rolled her eyes.

“Well, at least I am back.” She looked at her hands. “Ugh, I am going to have to get these painted as well. Gross.” Hazel sighed. “But it sucks that due to whatever potion I was put into, I have to share a body with this stupid, boorish man.” She stuck her tongue out and shook her head. “I can feel him crawling at the edge of my subconscious, crying about his precious job. Ohh boo hooo.” She pulled out of the driveway. “There are more important things here. Like me getting to live my life.” She giggled. “And a shopping spree. I mean, I don’t even know what year it is. I deserve a good ole fashion shopping spree.”

She held her arm out the window. “Look out world. Hazel is back!”