A New Kind of Fruit (Patreon)
Content
A New Kind of Fruit.
Christen crossed her arms as Shelby continued her story. “I am serious. The doctors gave me this medicine, and it cured me.”
“Ya right.” Christen laughed as she rubbed at her blue arm, checking for any remaining blueberry juice and a possible berry release. “Those quacks couldn’t possibly find a cure so quickly.”
“I am serious.” Shelby twirled around. “I am cured, aren’t I?”
Christen sighed. “It will take more than a few hours to convince me, Shelby. But I am glad you are finally out of the hospital.” Christen put her hand on her friend’s shoulder. “I heard what kind of condition you were in.”
She nodded her head. “Ya. More blueberry than human for a while. There was a reason why those doctors were studying me in looking for a cure.” She sighed. “Well, at least I made a recovery, and the town can put all of this nonsense behind us, right?” She put her hands into her pockets. “I can talk to the people who prescribed me the medication.
Maybe they can send some of it your way Christen.”
Christen laughed. “I think I am fine.”
“Oh, come now. From what I have heard, you have been through quite a bit. I think you more than anyone can benefit from this treatment.”
“I knew sitting in your room and venting my troubles was a bad idea.”
Shelby laughed. “Hey now. If it wasn’t for you coming over on the weekends, I would have gone mad and possibly sprouted vines out of my blueberry body. But you helped keep the other people and me here sane. I don’t know how you put up with turning into a blueberry so often.”
Christen put her hands into her pockets. “I just did it. Nothing too much to write home about. But I am not the first one in line that would need this treatment.”
Shelby grabbed Christen’s arm. “Nonsense.”
“Hey!”
“Come on. I know where they are hoarding some prescriptions before sending them out to everyone.”
“What? Why not just administer them to everyone else in the hospital?”
Shelby shrugged her shoulders. “Some nonsense about wanting to see how it affected me first for any potential side effects, mumble jumble.” She scrubbed her tan arms. “But look at me. I am fine, right? Nothing wrong with me? So why should we wait to help you? And then after we help the others?”
Shelby pulled Christen into a broom closet of the hospital. “Umm. . .” Christen looked at the wet mob in the corner of the room. “What are we doing in here? I thought you knew where you were going?”
“Trust me, ok.” She took a deep breath. “The people who made my medicine are a bit paranoid about the wrong people finding it.”
“Then how did you find out where they stashed it?” Christen crossed her arms. “You stop being a blueberry for a few hours, and you think you own the world, Shelby.”
Shelby narrowed her eyes. “Hey, stop teasing me, ok. I am serious about this.” She pushed a box of cleaning supplies to the side and pulled out a strange red box marked Berry Restoration Kit. “Here it is.” She turned around and handed it to Christen. “I told you it was here. Now, who is laughing?”
Christin examined the box. “This just looks like some project a little kid would make for school. Are you sure you didn’t plant this here for me to find?”
“Open up the box and look.” Christen sighed and did as she was told. “You are one tough customer to convince.”
Christen narrowed her eyes as two small pills fell into her blue palm. “Well, there is some medicine in here.”
“See, I told you.” Shelby smiled. “Now, do you finally believe me?”
Christen tightened her grip around the pills. “Well, why would the doctors go through the trouble of hiding these here? Explain that to me.”
“Because it wasn’t a doctor who gave it to me. It was some strange man.” Shelby twisted her red curly hair. “I don’t remember who it was; I just remember the staff telling me some strange person in a hoodie came in to give me what he called candy. But when it actually worked, he explained he was testing a new drug on me. The staff would have been furious if it well hadn’t worked so well.”
“Then why did you tell me that the doctors cured you before.”
Shelby looked around and lowered her voice. “Because the hospital has me under their oath to say they cured me until they can get the legal rights to this medicine. It’s why it’s tucked away in here.” She smiled and tapped Christen on the shoulder. “But I couldn’t let that get in the way of helping you.”
Christen smiled. “I am touched. But I don’t. . .”
“Ah, ah. You don’t need to thank me.” Shelby smiled and walked towards the door. “Just remember that I helped bring an end to your blueberry nightmare.”
“I wouldn’t call it a blueberry nightmare.” She looked down at the pills in her hands. “Just an inconvenience. Huh. But I thank you anyway.” Christen looked back up. “Shelby?” Christen blinked her eyes and turned her head back and forth upon noticing that she was gone. “Where did you go?” Christen looked down at the pills in her hands. “Hmm. I guess these couldn’t hurt.”
She tossed the pills into her mouth and swallowed. “I wonder how long it will take for it to go into effect.” She looked down at her arm as her skin turned from a bright blue to her usual pale. “Wow, that was fast.” She smiled. “I guess these suckers really do work. Maybe for the first time in weeks, I can go home and enjoy myself.”
***
Later that evening, Christen opened the door to her house. “It is so good to be home.” She set the shopping bags on the table. “I feel so good now that I have that blueberry stuff out of my system. I am going to do something I have wanted to do for a while. Get on video chat and game with my friends.” She pulled out a camera from her bag. “Should be ready for tonight as long as they get on and meet with me.”
She walked into the other room and fired up her desktop. “I just hope they remember I am coming on.” Christen tapped her fingers as she waited for her computer to fire up. “It has been so long since I have been online, they thought I was dead.” She rolled her eyes. “I didn’t want to tell them what really happened to me. I don’t think they would have believed me anyways.” She set the new camera up on top of her monitor. “Ok, I hope this works.”
Once the computer was up and running, she entered her friend’s chat room. “Ok.
Let’s see here.” Christen activated her camera and saw herself on screen.
“Hey, it works.” She waved at herself. “Hello?” She giggled.
“I can’t believe I finally have one of these. And with how much money I had to fork over, this thing better last.”
“What are you talking about?” The screen was cut in half as a young red-headed man appeared. “Oh, hey. Is that you, Christen? Not only do you come back from the dead, but I get to see you for the first time. Wow!”
“Patrick. Hey there.”
He waved. “Hi. Like my new hair color?”
“Where are the others?” She crossed her arms as she sat down in her swivel chair. “I thought they were thrilled to know I was back to hang out with them.”
The screen shrank again, but a new face didn’t appear this time, Henry being the only word on the screen. “Hey. Sorry I had a bit of an issue. Turns out going through with your plan to free yourself from school isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.” He laughed. “So, I see Christen is back. How are you doing these days? Avoiding school still? Are you the lucky one of the group?”
She raised an eyebrow. “What? I plan on going back to the university soon. My hiatus is going to be over soon.”
Henry gasped. “What? What in the world is wrong with you?” The was a loud crash on his end. “Oh fuck. You know what. I will catch up with you later. I think the little miss crazy from before found me. Bye.” He cut out of the group.
Christen scratched at her chin. “Is it me, or did Henry become even more insane than usual.”
Patrick nodded. “Ya, since you were last on, he has kind of gone off the deep end. He was talking about shrinking his teacher.”
Christen gasped. “Yikes. And I thought what I went through was crazy.”
“What did you go through, Christen?”
“Oh, nothing.” She laughed. “Just some stuff. Nothing important.”
The last screen flared to life, and Karen adjusted her suit. “Ok, Patrick, I am on.” She noticed Christen. “Heyyyy! How is it going, Christen?”
Christen waved. “Hi, Karen. Still stuck at your crappy job?”
She nodded her head. “I am stuck at work right now. They don’t know it, but I locked myself in my boss’s office.”
Patrick gasped. “Aren’t you going to get in trouble for that?”
Karen scoffed. “I get in trouble for anything I do lately. But one, I am not missing our gaming night. And two, the company seems to be overly preoccupied with something else. It’s funny. I lock myself in my boss’s office, and they don’t give a crap.” She sighed and laid back in the big black lounge chair. “Normally, I would be thrown into some experimental dump and see if some serum would cause me to change in size. This place is stupid.”
Christen winced. “Did you say change in size?”
Karen held her hands over her mouth. “Did I? Well, you two didn’t hear it from me.” She laughed. “Fredricks Fancy does not endorse real size-changing products, nor am I legally allowed to talk about it.” She lowered her voice. “But between us, my boss is crazy about that shit.” Karen laughed.
Patrick slowly nodded his head. “Sounds lovely.”
Karen smiled. “So where is Henry. He should have been here by now.”
Christen sighed. “Something came up on his end. Sounded like some kind of bomb went off.”
Karen shrugged. “He has been acting odd as of late.” She clasped her hands together. “So, what are we going to be doing tonight?”
Patrick sighed. “That new Call of Fortune shooter game came out recently. We could play that.”
Christen rolled her eyes. “You know how I am at shooters.” She groaned. “Ughh.”
She scratched at her chest as she felt a growing pressure starting to build inside her. “Isn’t there anything else we can do?”
Karen shrugged. “We have been enjoying shooters so much in your absence it is kind of hard to try another genre. Right Patrick.” Karen narrowed her eyes. “Patrick!”
He blinked his eyes. “Huh? Oh, sorry, I was watching the news on the other screen. Something crazy is going on.”
Christen continued to scratch at her torso. “Watch the news on your own time Patrick. We are trying to figure out what to do.”
He held up his hands defensively. “But this is insane. It is from a town that they are calling the blueberry town.” He laughed. “I wonder where they get that name.”
Christen’s eyes went wide. Oh crap. My hometown is on the news again. Fuck.
“So pretty much they found the first non-blueberry lady in the town.”
Karen crossed her arms. “I am sure there are plenty of humans in the town, genius.”
“No, no, I mean a giant human pear.” Christen slammed her hands on the table and noticed the back of her palms slowly turn green. “Like the size of a semi-truck big.”
Karen chucked. “I doubt that would happen. I have seen and been forced into some crazy stuff, but someone turning into a pear or a town full of blueberries. That is crazy. Right, Christen?”
Christen looked up from her green hands. “Oh right, right.” She took a deep breath and tried to ignore what felt like a balloon growing inside her body. “That is just crazy talk, and I am sure someone is making that up. There is no way someone could turn into a blueberry five times in a row. To have all of that juice swimming inside of them. That just isn’t possible.” She laughed.
“Christen.”
“I mean, you would have to be pretty crazy to believe such a story.”
“Christen.”
“Even that false news story from a few months ago. . .”
Christen!”
“What?”
Patrick sighed. “What is wrong with your neck?”
Christen looked down to see her skin turn light green. “I umm have a bit of a rash. It’s nothing.” She tapped her fingers on the edge of the table. “So, can we get back to talking about what we are going to do tonight?”
Karen’s blue eyes widened as she watched Christen’s face turn light green. “That isn’t any rash I have ever seen. Are you sure you are, ok?”
“Look, is this an interrogation? I am fine ok.” She winced as her shirt tightened around her waist. “Now, can we get to the game?”
Patrick blinked his eyes. “Is it just me, or is Christen’s ass growing?”
Karen shook her head. “Screw her ass, Patrick. Her entire waist is swelling up like a balloon.”
Christen looked down at her waistline as it started to fill up her gaming area. “Holy crap.” She stood up, but her enlarged ass knocked over her glass of water behind her and caused Patrick to laugh. “Shit. Why is this happening? I thought I put an end to this bullshit.”
“What are you talking about?” Karen asked. “What did you put an end to?”
Christen laughed as her round hips pressed against the wall and her desk. “I umm. . . had some blueberry issues.” She sighed as she pushed her desk away to make room for her swelling body. “I am smack dab in the middle of the blueberry town Patrick saw on the news.” She took a deep breath as she pulled at her pants as they stretched to their limit. “Look, can we talk about this another time? As you can see, I have a lot on my hands.” The button on her jeans snapped off and flew into the next room. “I think we can play some other day. Sorry to waste everyone’s time.”
Patrick laughed. “You are not wasting our time.” He crossed his arms and sat back. “This is quite a show.”
Karen slammed her right hand down. “Patrick, what is wrong with you? We should be calling 911 or something. Christen needs help.”
Christen held up her hands. “No, no. I am fine. Please don’t call anyone.” Her shoes snapped apart as her feet swelled. “Trust me, it is better if you don’t.” She held up her hands as she started to wobble back and forth. “Whoh.” She leaned forward and grabbed her computer desk. “I don’t know how much longer I can stand up.”
“Ya, I bet.” Karen tapped her fingers on her desk. “Your lower body is looking like a pear. So big and round.” She pulled at the collar of her shirt. “And I would bet juicy too.”
Patrick’s eyes widened. “What?”
Karen laughed. “Oh, nothing. I have just had a really hard time dealing with my boss’s wrath. My perception of things is a bit skewed as of late.”
Christen winced as her pants ripped in two and her legs melded together. “Well, I think Karen is right on the money.” She looked down at her body. “I am turning into a giant pear. As if blueberries were not bad enough. Ugh.”
Christen winced as her computer screen flashed.
She looked up to see Patrick had taken a picture of her. “What are you doing?”
He smiled. “Oh, just remembering the moment.” He snapped another photo. “Why?”
Christen threw her arms up in frustration, but as she let go of the table, she wobbled back and forth like a punching stress doll. “Help!” She failed her arms about as they swelled. “I can’t move.”
“Sure, you don’t want me to call anyone?” Karen asked.
Christen felt new pressure building in her chest, and her nipples hardened. “Oh, please, no.” She gulped and reached to turn off her camera. “This is getting out of hand.” Her growing round body pushed the computer out of reach. “Noo.” She slammed the sides of her body. “Crap.” She looked at the screen. “Look, I need you two to shut your connections down.”
Patrick laughed. “Why would I do that. This is getting good. Look at you; your torso is starting to swell.”
Karen stood up. “That is, it. I am calling someone.” Her connection went dead.
Patrick shrugged. “Her loss.” He stood up. “Hey, stay right there, will you. I am going to get some popcorn.” He laughed as he turned around. “This is better than the movies. I am happy that Sarah turned me down again to hang out.”
Christen rubbed her forehead as he walked away. “Well, I got one of them to leave.
Now if I can just. . .” She moved her body back and forth as if she were a swing. “I need to reach my keyboard.” Shrrrrippp. Her eyes went wide as her handed green nipples pushed through her shirt. “Oh fuck!” She stopped wobbling back and forth just as her boobs ripped her shirt even more. “Christ. It is like someone put a pump in my breasts.” She took a deep breath. “Ohhh, god.”
‘Hey, I am back. What did I miss?” Patrick’s eyes went wide as he noticed her giant green breasts. “Holy crap.” He stood up as Christen fought with her swelling torso, her sides becoming thicker and thicker. “Those are some big breasts.”
Christen narrowed her eyes. “Will you stop gawking at me and get off the line already.”
She tried to slam her hand down the table, but due to her bloated body, she could only hit herself, sending ripples throughout her body. “Ugh, great.” Her tattered shirt remains fell to the sides around her. “I thought that medicine was really going to work. I hate buying new clothes.”
Patrick laughed. “This is a regular thing for you?” He grabbed his phone. “One moment.”
Christen crossed her arms. “Take your time.”
Patrick sighed. “Sorry but I have to go. My boss wants me to come in for a late shift.” He slammed his hand down on the table. “That jerk cant’ get anyone else to cover for him? It’s always call Patrick. He can’t possibly be doing anything?” Christen raised an eyebrow as her pear-like body came closer to pushing against the computer screen. “Oh, I’m sorry. I will just go now. Good luck Christen.” His screen went dark.
She sighed. “Well, I guess there isn’t anything to do but ride this out now.”
She tapped the sides of her body. “I just wish this swelling would stop now.” She raised her hand above her head. “I am close to pressing against the ceiling here. I know the swelling gods can hear me. This is enough juice for one day. Ugh.” She moaned as her gigantic breasts caused her bra to stretch to its limit. “Seriously, I can stop swelling now.” She put her hands against the ceiling as her head was pushed into her body.
“Stop!”
She turned her head as her door was knocked down.
“We have a report of a swelling blueberry at this residence. If you are growing out of control, please respond.”
Christen gulped. Crap, I hope it isn’t more of Red’s goons from the juicing station. I don’t want to go back there.
She felt something touch her backside. “Sir, we found it, but it isn’t a blueberry.”
“Then we don’t want it. We are only looking for those afflicted by the blueberry virus.”
“But sir, you are going to want to see this.” Christen heard heavy boots stomp into the room.
“Dear god. This problem is becoming much worse. Hook a chain around this thing and bring it with us.”
Christen gripped her hands into fists. “I am not am it; I am a lady, you jerks. I will be addressed as a human being.”
“Use the sedative. I am not listening to this thing wine all the way back to the compound.”
Christen twisted her head around. “What are you people talking about.” She trashed her mushy arms about. “Come on out so I can see you. Hey.” She felt a sharp pain in her back.
“Oww.” She took a deep breath. “How dare you do this to me. If I wasn’t so horribly inflated like a human pear, you wouldn’t think of doing this to me.” She blinked her eyes. “Whoh. I umm.” Her head tilted back and forth. “You will. . . umm.” Christen closed her eyes and blacked out.
***
As the men in strange yellow and blue suits wheeled Christen away, two men with Juicing Station logos walked up to the house. “Red isn’t going to be happy about this.”
“About what, Mark? The fact that we lost one of his special new experiments. Or that there is a new player in town?”
Mark turned on the other man. “Just shut up and move before they see us.”