New Decameron Nine: William Alexander (Patreon)

Mouse Joust

by William Alexander

1

The empress Isabelle a tourney held

Between her sandy castle and the sea. 

At tournaments Sir Toadious excelled. 

He rode to Mouse Keep boasting gleefully 

That he would be the champion, guaranteed. 

The knightly Brin did likewise travel there. 

She saddled Ferdinand, her crabby steed,

And whispered, "By my whiskers do I swear 

That this glory and danger we will share."

2

The first to face Sir Toadious went down.

Another tried, and he fell harder still.

The toad made many smug and croaking sounds. 

"Are there no knights among you mice? Or will

I waste my mighty gifts on the unskilled?"

Then knightly Brin arrived with Ferdinand,

Both brimming with ambitions to fulfill. 

The good and noble crab, at her command

Did canter sideways on the rolling sand. 

3

Sir Toadious & Brin met in the lists.

They galloped hard across the tilting yard

With shield and lance held high. Both of them missed.

The queen seemed thoughtful as her bard Reynard 

Plucked a dramatic riff on his guitar.

On their next pass each struck the other’s shield

And on that dented steel left a scar.

The toad exuded poison. “Do you yield, 

My little mouse, to wisely quit the field?”

4

The knightly Brin declined. “Another dance?”

Queen Isabelle let show a subtle smile.

Sir Toadious the odious advanced.

“Now fall,” he spat with confidence and bile.

Brin offered a salute in knightly style.

Her rival mocked her with a rude guffaw. 

The two crustacean steeds raced down the aisle 

And grappled with each other, claw to claw.

Both lances shattered as though made of straw.

5

In swordplay then the two contestants met.

Sir Toadious his boastful bluster roared.

The knightly Brin with threats was sore beset,

but every word untoward the mouse ignored

As she relieved the other of his sword.

"Cheers for the champion!" cried Isabelle

As Brin claimed victory and her reward. 

Of what befell that toad no mouse can tell

But knightly Brin all mice remember well.

Author’s Note

My Brin is based on Spencer’s Britomart,

Whose deeds can in The Faerie Queene be read. 

These lines do Spencer’s rhyming likewise chart

To parody his tales of knightly art. 

Four centuries ago Sir Edmund said

While reading history books more ancient still

He learned that men have memory misled,

Erasing tales of women’s fighting skill—

But they have always fought, and always will.

****************************************************************

"That was fun," Maya said. "They have always fought, and always will. Like Silence in Heather Rose Jones's story."

"Like Sichelgaita of Salerno, who was her husband's bodyguard and wore full armour and had ten children but kept on fighting. Like Caterina Sforza and Anne Bonney and the Russian women who flew planes in world war two," he says.

Maya yawns.

"Are you tired?" he asks. "Is it bed time? We can read more tomorrow."

"I'm getting tired, but just one more. You promised!"

"All right. How's this? Alison Sinclair Suspended Lives. It's about doctors in space." He smiles at her. "And then we'll make nests and go to sleep."

She takes up the book and reads.