Gif: THE FERTILITY IDOL (Patreon)

Mark's date Lisa was dragging him all over the history museum and he was only pretending to be interested in all the dusty relics in hopes of getting into her panties. When Lisa went to use the restroom, Mark found himself standing beside some weird old statue guy with a big, hard dick. Curious, Mark looked the thing up in the exhibition brochure:

Figure of Picumnus, circa 700 B.C. The Roman god of fertility, agriculture, matrimony, infants, and children.

Mark regarded the statue with a smirk.

"You did all that, huh, big guy? All that stuff with fertility and babies, that's usually more of a chick's gig. You know, Mother Nature and shit."

The room suddenly seemed very quiet and Mark had a funny feeling, a tingle of danger. He shook his head, telling himself that he was just imagining things.

"Damn," he said, "people were so stupid then, worshiping some silly statue with a stiffy!"

A few minutes later Lisa returned from the restroom to find a crazy topless girl ranting and raving at one of the statues. As the security guards escorted the girl out of the building, Lisa could've sworn the girl's belly was growing...