Christmas Special (Amazon Apocalypse 2) (Patreon)

Merry Christmas! This short story is meant to take place shortly after the ending of book 2.

I did my best to avoid any book 2 spoilers. Enjoy, and happy holidays!

In the ruins of what used to be a strip mall, I found myself doing some holiday shopping.

After the apocalypse, picking up gifts for that special someone involved much more than browsing for stuff online and hitting a checkout button. Not only did I have to hike to a physical store and shop around, but I had to dodge zombies and giant cockroach monsters while I was at it.

Add the fact that half the stuff here was ruined or at least of limited utility, and my options were scarce. There’d be little point in giving someone a television when nothing was on. Otherwise, it would have been a perfect gift for Myrina since she loved the moving picture boxes of our world.

Most people would be stuck come the holiday season. Luckily, I was a Master Artificer with a few more options than most. If I couldn’t find the perfect gift, I could still craft the perfect gift!

For Sakura, she loved to swing that club around. So, how about a magically empowered baseball shooter? There were plenty of them up for grabs, I just had to make them work on magic instead of electricity. Sakura had plenty of strength, but a bit of agility from learning to hit tiny balls flying at her would probably do her some good. She might rack up a few extra stat points beyond the usual level rewards.

Bridget loved cooking, but her tools had been limited, especially in the field. She’d liked my magical power pack quite a bit. The easy answer would be to just give her a few more of those. But those things were useful enough I was already mass-producing them in Themiscyra for everyone, so I wanted something a little more personal.

How about a chef’s knife that never dulls? Maybe one that even grows and shrinks when used? I could copy some features of my Arcane Blade ability into it. Come to think of it, Bridget was very fond of knives. If she wasn’t cooking, it might be handy to have in the event of a fight.

Myrina was a newcomer to our world, so she wasn’t quite fitting in. Maybe something that would make her settle in a little faster?

Though the Amazonians certainly had boots, they favored sandals, and that was what she’d brought to Earth. But the weather would get cold for those soon. Maybe some boots? And as long as I was enchanting things for everybody else, I could make her’s give a bonus to agility. They’d be both functional and fashionable.

That was settled then. A batting machine, a magic knife, and some winter boots. The first objective was to find the base materials.

One thing I’d learned on Themyscira was that half the battle in enchanting was getting the item you were going to enchant. Any enchanter who had to forge their magic knives from raw iron was going to spend half the day hammering away on an anvil. I figured I’d best leave that part to the professionals and stick to what I was good at.

So I hunted down the sharpest chef’s knife I could find in the ruins of civilization and tucked it into my nifty little bag of holding. I went to a ruined sports store, beheaded a few undead cashiers, and then hauled out a batting machine. They had a athletic footwear section there as well, and after a bit of searching I found a pair that would hopefully fit Myrina.

Goods in hand, I returned from my brief trip and headed back to the farmhouse. When I returned home, I got a few curious looks, but the gifts wouldn’t hit home right if I announced what they were right away. No, these would work best when given away as a surprise. I kept my mouth shut, no matter what my women whispered in my ear.

“What have you been up to all day, Carter?” Bridget asked as she lay dinner down before me.

“Oh, nothing much. Just walking around Crownhill.”

“Really?” Sakura asked as she dug in. “Because I was walking around Crownhill all day too, and I didn’t see you.”

I shifted uncomfortably in my chair.

“He must have been slaughtering enemies of the clan! We’re a clan, aren’t we?” Myrina asked. “Speaking of, I’m not sure who is in the clan and who isn’t. Should we start giving away uniforms?”

“That’s an excellent idea, Myrina!” I said, pointing my fork at her and quickly changing the subject away from giving away gifts. I thought that had laid any questions to rest, but apparently my recent activities were on more minds than I thought.

“Something’s up with Carter...” Bridget whispered to Sakura and Myrina when they all thought I was asleep. They worked me pretty hard in bed, so it wasn’t unusual for me to be the first to pass out.

“Yeah, he was resharpening his sword earlier. That means he killed something with it,” Myrina added.

“We’ll need to keep an eye on him. There might be more women like Lisette around, eager to dig their claws into him,” Sakura said.

I drifted to sleep, glad the three of them were looking out for me. If anyone would save me from the mind-controlling effects of a woman like Lisette, it would be the three of them.

As soon as the sun rose the following morning, I retreated to my workshop. The big one, not the shrunken little one that Gobgob and the goblins were using. There, I could work on my projects in relative privacy. Privacy I needed, considering the occasional prying eyes. I kept to the farmhouse all day, easing my women’s worries. I had three enchanted items to make, all requiring a unique approach.

I needed another one of those enchanted power bricks for the batting machine. That was simple enough, since I already knew how to make that work. The knife was fairly easy as well, since I was familiar with etching fancy symbols into metal. I’d come up with a system that worked pretty well. It involved some masking tape, a knife, and a small bucket of acid. Getting the symbols on the knife wasn’t an issue.

The tough part was Myrina’s boots. I’d underestimated how tough the job of a cobbler was. Eventually, I removed the boot’s insole and make the lines as best as possible with a marker. After that, I’d have to seal the marks in place somehow so they wouldn’t bleed away. That took me nearly the entire day.

My companions were very curious about what I’d been up to since I hadn’t spent that long crafting since my last Mana Bomb crafting session. Unfortunately, the market for those had dried up now that the Samhains weren’t at war.

“What have you been up to all day?” Sakura asked me curiously. “As your former boss and now your girlfriend, I have plenty of good ideas about how to manage your time efficiently!”

“Let me guess, I should spend every waking moment by your side, huh?” I joked.

Sakura pouted. It seemed like I’d guessed her schedule.

I laughed, and we had dinner again. I checked the calendar. Thankfully, I’d had a few battery-powered clocks back home, and they were good at placing the date. That meant that even though the world as we knew it had ended, Christmas would still arrive on time. I didn’t have many days to waste now.

The next day, I worked feverishly to complete Myrina’s boots, only to ruin them right as I closed the finish line.

“I’m heading out. I’ll be back in a bit!” I waved goodbye to my companions.

“Where are you headed?” Sakura asked curiously.

“I’m just going to patrol the area around the shelter. Clear out a few monsters, gain some levels, that kind of thing.” I shrugged.

“Oh, great! I’ll come with you. I could use a few more levels.” Sakura smiled at me and turned back to get her club.

I held up my hands. “Oh, you don’t have to come. There probably won’t even be anything worth killing for us. We’ve already chased the big monsters away. Until the System adds another shard or two, there won’t be much to fight.

“Still, I’d like to come. It’s been a while since the two of us went for a walk.” Sakura ducked around the corner to get her things.

I couldn’t afford to spoil her surprise, though, so while she wasn’t looking, I slipped away.

The trip to the shopping mall went smoothly. There were even a few survivors still huddled in the back room. They’d gone into hiding as soon as things had gotten bad and hadn’t come out since. They were level one, with a single young man at level 2. So far, they’d been surviving off what food they’d darted out and take while the zombies weren’t looking.

“Are you from the government? Are they finally sending in the military to deal with the zombies?” asked a nervous woman.

“I’m not with the government you’re looking for. But I am with a government, after a fashion. There’s a shelter nearby in the old downtown region. It’s got a giant big black obelisk in the middle. You can’t miss it. Head there, and you’ll find shelter and a bit of advice about how to get started again after the apocalypse.”

I helped the woman and her fellow survivors get back to Crownhill. Sakura was there when I delivered them.

“So, went without me, did you?” Sakura crossed her arms.

“Sorry. I was in a bit of a rush. But it paid off in the end!” I gestured to the people I’d rescued. “I’m surprised there are still so many people in hiding.”

“We’ll probably discover people tucked away in little corners left and right for months more. Maybe years, assuming there are other shards of Earth we’re going to run into.” Sakura let her arms fall back to her side. The two of us returned home together.

There, I got back to work on Myrina’s boots, and this time, I’d brought a dozen pairs. It didn’t matter that I failed three more times. Soon, I finally had something that worked. Then I realized I had forgotten the wrapping paper.

One more trip out into the wilderness later, and I came back with three perfect presents. I could hardly wait to share them with the wonderful women in my life. But on my return, the concern the three of them had for me had reached a tipping point.

“Intervention!” Sakura yelled as she tackled me to the ground. “Bridget, grab his arms!”

“We’re saving you, Carter!” Myrina yelled as she jumped behind Sakura and swiftly knocked the wind out of me. “Quick! We will exorcise any evil charisma-specialist skills from him!”

“Ow.” I groaned. Before I knew it, I was dragged into the house and back down on the bed. “Ladies, I think you have the wrong idea about what’s going on...”

“Oh, I don’t think so! Running off alone all the time?” Sakura asked. “Spending all day long in your barn alone? You’ve been mind-controlled! We’re not letting you up until we’ve saved you!”

“Okay, okay.” There was little point in fighting them any longer. My companions wouldn’t be satisfied until they got a proper answer. “How about you ladies check my bag of holding? There’s something for each of you in there.”

I pointed the right bag out to them, and Myrina stuck her arm in there and rummaged around until she found the three neatly wrapped presents I’d made for them.

“Surprise!” I said from my position on the bed underneath Myrina’s perky rear. “Merry Christmas!”

Sakura gasped. “You brought presents? For all of us?”

“Yeah, I did. I’m not sure if any of you checked the calendars, but it’s Christmas.”

“It is!” Bridget exclaimed. “I can’t believe I missed it. I have to go bake some cookies right away.”

“What’s Christmas?” Myrina asked.

“A special holiday meant to be spent with friends and family. Sometimes you give gifts. That’s what those three things are. That box in the middle is yours, Myrina. Bridget, you have the one on the left. The big one is for you, Sakura.”

One by one, my women tore open their presents, each smiling joyfully.

“This was very thoughtful of you, Carter,” Bridget said as she ran her finger down the dull side of her new enchanted chef’s knife.

“Yeah, I’m going to get damn good at hitting baseballs!” Sakura grinned. “Thanks!”

“And my toes were getting cold. These will do nicely,” Myrina said as she tried on the new boots. They were a perfect fit.

“Do you think I can get up now?” I asked the three ladies sitting on top of me.

“After something like this?” Sakura shook her head. “Don’t think you’re slipping out of this so easily. I think we ought to give you a little Christmas gift of your own...”

She grabbed the hem of her shirt, tearing it open swiftly. A second later, my face was buried in warm cleavage. From the excited voices of Myrina and Bridget nearby, I knew I was in for a very long and merry Christmas.