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The Snark Tank Podcast #46: ... The Results (Patreon)

Published:
2020-11-17 18:00:03
Edited:
2020-11-18 03:37:32
Imported:
2022-05

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Content

The aftermath of the election! How'd it go? The next generation consoles are here but do they suck? Are Danny Phantom's powers practical? What flavor would you prefer your baby batter to be? Is Christmas the worst? We're a VIDEO PODCAST NOW?!!? All that and more on todays hellish episode of the Snark Tank!

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Comments

Anonymous

Loved the video. Next one i require snapchat filters.

50 Shades of Gay

How much would it weird y’all out if people on discord did a live reinactment of your podcast

Anonymous

mfw they diss the shit out of octopi ⊙△⊙ ˚

Anonymous

the thumbnail for the 45th and 46th episode are the 45th and 46th presidents O_O

Anonymous

I KNEW I WAS NOT INSANE

Anonymous

Reagan had a 49 state landslide you dumbys

Romeo

I don't care about US elections because no president cares about Puerto Rico, but I really liked Yang.

Anonymous

I tried to be nice, now I must do what must be done.

Anonymous

It was 3:00am PST, Chris "Ray gun" Maldanado was playing halo infinite. His eyes bloodshot red from staring at the screen for so long. Halo infinite was everything he dreamed of. Great sandbox, great graphics, Craig, etc. he is near the end of the campaign during what seems to be arbiter's death. Chief holds the arbiter in his arms, listening to his last words. "Master chief, we're it so easy..." Chris's eyes begin to well up as this old warrior dies a warriors death. However, the arbiter wasn't quite finished yet. He snapped his head towards the camera and said "....FUCK CHRIS RAY GUN AND HIS SLAVES!" The arbiter screamed with fire and passion that Chris could not comprehend. The arbiter then passed away at that moment. Sadness turned to confusion and fear. A rush of questions had entered his mind How did the arbiter know his name in the games universe? Was this a prank? A nightmare? Was this a universal decision by the game staff to include this line in game? If so, for what purpose? Before he could ponder this further, he heard a loud bashing by his front door. Chris became ever more terrified, but alas, he went to answer the door anyway. When he opened the door, he found Keith David standing right in front of him, covered in blood. Normally Chris would be giddy and excited that his idol is standing right in front of him, but this time he only felt fear. His fears were justified as seen by the decapitated heads of Tom Sweeney and Derrick in his left hand and the bloodied knife in his right. As Chris was in shock from what was in front of him, Keith David looked directly in his eyes and became so filled with rage that every single one of his veins popped out and started pulsating. He started foaming at the mouth and popped a blood vessel in his eyes so they became a deep red. The very sight of Chris caused Keith to feel only one emotion: hate. Once Chris realized the danger he was in, he began running for his life

Anonymous
>>47942212

Keith gave him a headstart, as he knew Chris had no chance of escaping as he was trapped in his apartment with no way out. "What's the deal, skip?" Keith said angrily. "I thought you hated going fast!" Chris made a full stop and turned to Kieth. "THATS NOT TRUE I MADE THAT EXPLICITLY CLEAR IN THE VID- AUUGH!" Chris was interrupted by a Keith throwing a kitchen knife across the room and pinning Chris's right hand to the wall. "What did I ever do to you?!" He wailed. "I admired you, we all did!" Keith power walked towards Chris with his blood red eyes. "You know exactly what you did, skip!" He looked directly in Chris's eyes and pushed the knife further into his hand. Keith's cool voice kept him from using his offhand to resist him. "You. Didn't. Answer. My. QUESTION!" Chris was taken aback by Keith's statement. "What the hell are you talking about?" Chris replied sobbing. Keith got even more angry and gave the knife a twist. As Chris began to wail from the pain, Keith responded with "the ffffffucking questions on the podcast motherfucker. I asked damn good questions too, but you NEVER responded to them," Chris had a sudden realization. "You're that user who asked the best questions that I ignored to fuck with you! I'm so sorry, please let me answer your questions and not kill me!" Chris pleaded. "Sorry, skip. It's too late for that," Keith stated "time to die." Chris closed his eyes and awaited his fate, at least he is to die at the hands of his idol. However, he heard a familiar voice. "Get your hands off him." A large figure appeared from the shadows. Was it a big dog? a big bear? A lion? No, it was "...Mario 'Judah' Kingston, and I am here to avenge my brother"

Anonymous
>>47942212

"Avenge your brother? Tom HATED you. So much so that he denied being related to you." Keith stated aggressively. "True, my brother hated my music and refused to associate with me due to his undying love for conformist hip hop," Mario stated "despite this, he remains family to me and I WILL have justice for his murder." Keith took a deep breath. "Listen here, skip. You have a promising musical career ahead of you. Don't waste it trying to kill me." Keith said in his smooth, disarming voice. Mario chuckled, "your powers don't work on me, I can manipulate my copious amounts of sweat at the molecular level," He explained. "I've solidified them as earplugs, making your powers null and void n****."For the first time in years, Keith David felt fear for the first time. Mario's use of the n word scared him to the very core of his soul. "I could solidify my sweat into mini ice-picks and kill you, but I have a better option in mind," Mario threatened. "Oh god please no, anything but that." Keith said in pure terror. But his pleads would go unanswered. Mario began to rap with such grace and style that his fire beats caused Keith David to literally catch on fire and turn to ash. His beautiful singing voice healed Chris ray guns right hand in a flash. "Thank you, thank you so much" Chris said with tears in his eyes. "Don't celebrate just yet, you have a podcast to run," Mario graciously stated. "B-but without Tom and Derrick how can I continue?" Chris asked. "I don't know about Derrick, but I know someone who can cover for my brother." Mario stayed, suggesting that he should be the one to take his place. "Well, you do look a lot like him," Chris stated. "Yeah, I know," Mario replied. And from here on out, things would be business as usual, except with Mario playing as himself and as his brother.

Anonymous

THEY ANSWERED MY QUESTION YES HELL YEAH WOO

Anonymous

Chris's Joe impression doesn't sound perfect, but Its still so great. Perfect balance of delivery, cadence, and parody.

Anonymous

The 49 state landslide thing with Tim is literally what all of Twitter is. Out of context shit. I watch him and Jimmy generally and usually Tim tosses in a doubtful statement after saying some shit like that or walks it back. That's how I see it anyways.