ALLCAPS COOKBOOK PRESENTS: Szechuan Fusion Salsa (Patreon)

It is not generally my experience that a bowl of salsa is completely cleaned out, down to the last swipe of juice, at a midweek movie night.

This one was GONE.

So I'm mildly obsessed with this peanut salsa thing one of the groomsmen made for my brother's wedding and have been trying to recreate it. 

This isn't that salsa, this is just a tribute.

But it's DAMN FINE. Addictively fine. People kind of stopped eating at all once it was gone fine. I threw it together as best I could so this truly is a just-Cat recipe, but it's stellar.

My only notes are: If you prefer a chunkier salsa, I would just hold back half the tomatoes and onions, then chop to desided chonkness factor and stir in. I like a smooth salsa, so just pulverizing it all together worked fine. And it really doesn't matter too much what kind of chili crisp you use, any one you like. 

LET'S FUSE

Ingredients

1 container cherry or grape tomatoes

Half of one white onion

2 cloves garlic

4 tablespoons Szechuan or otherwise chili crisp 

1/2 chipotle pepper with whatever adobo clings to it OR 1/2 teaspoon chipotle powder

1 teaspoon Szechuan peppercorns

1 teaspoon cumin

1/4 teaspoon salt

1/2 teaspoon soy sauce or Maggi seasoning

1/4 cup cilantro (if you like cilantro)

1/4 cup parsley

1/3 cup dry roasted peanuts

1 1/2 tablespoons lime juice

1/2 teaspoon white wine vinegar

1 teaspoon aged balsamic vinegar

THERE IS ONLY ONE STEP

Seriously. Put it all in the food processor and make it go until it's goop. 

Serve with neutral tortilla chips like Tostitos. There's a LOT of flavor here, the chips are just a delivery system.

Enjoy the fact that chips and salsa just became the highlight of your table somehow.