Chapter 10: Playing with Mana (Patreon)

After my breakdown, I took it slow for a few days, needing the time to decompress, find my balance, and breathe. The following two days I spent as a tourist in Frankfurt, reading my books for fun instead of researching, eating, and sleeping.

After two days, I checked my mana, and it was still low: 63/3000. I bought food and drinks, a sleeping bag with a travel mattress, some paperback books, and an oil lamp and went to the Gate to regenerate mana.

I stayed in the ruin for the first day, lying on my back and enjoying the quiet. The next morning, my mana was 380/3000. So, regeneration is a bit above 300 a day, not 100. That meant my regeneration was faster, but I still didn't know what controlled it. It was getting on my nerves that I couldn't figure it out.

To regenerate mana faster, I tried meditating because I read it helps. Sitting in a lotus position, I tried to clear my mind and not think about anything. After I managed it for maybe an hour, my mana was 395/3000.

Eh, it's not doing the trick. Is it possible I'm not doing this meditation thing right?

I tried various things:

Sit and contemplate my navel—it felt so stupid that I'm glad it didn't work.

Meditate on the beauty of nature—it was beautiful, but it still didn't work.

Meditate while thinking, "Mana, go up"—nothing.

Meditate while "looking" inside at my mana system—no dice.

Then, an idea occurred to me. Closing my eyes, I concentrated and tried to feel the mana in the air. It didn't work at first. The air felt different, but I couldn't separate the mana from the rest. Feeling that I was on the right track, I persisted, zeroing specifically on the difference, and gradually could distinguish that something was in the air. There was an energy all around me. It wasn't only in the air—it was in the trees, the ground, the vines and moss, and me. I finally felt it and just sat there enjoying the feeling—until an annoying red dot started blinking in my field of vision.

What now?

You have learned the Skill [Mana Sense]

Okay, I could forgive the intrusion.

Mana: 418/3000.

Can sense it, still can't absorb it faster. Need more experimentation.

Closing my eyes again, I located the surrounding mana and tried to "will" it into my body. Of course, it didn't work; I think the mana laughed at me and called me an idiot.

I tried to grab the energy the way I grabbed the blood and bring it into me—nothing.

Maybe breathing it in?

When I breathed it in, I could feel a difference. It was like something else entered me, along with the air. I just sat there breathing in deeply through my nose and letting the breath out through my mouth and felt the mana going in—until the dot started blinking again. I rolled my eyes.

You have learned the Skill [Mana Meditation]

Okay, I forgave it this time as well.

Mana: 614/3000.

Now we're talking!

I sat and meditated for the whole day. At some point, my butt was numb, so I laid on my sleeping bag and continued; it worked the same. Good, there was no need for the lotus position. Mana: 1833/3000. Progress is the best!

I went to sleep. My mana was 1971/3000 in the morning, so it didn't work in my sleep. Bummer. I meditated for the rest of the day until my mana was full.

After exiting the Gate, I went to get my car. When I got there, I saw it was all dusty, like it had been sitting there forever. It didn't make any sense at all. I had been on the other side of the Gate for three days, and the days didn't feel longer. Taking my phone out of the trunk, I checked the date; it was 11 days later.

Huh?!!!

I just stood there, staring at my phone, my mind completely blank. Time seemed to stop, and I found myself suspended in a surreal moment of disbelief. My heart pounded in my chest, echoing the emptiness in my head. It was like my brain had short-circuited, forgetting how to formulate even the simplest thoughts—just an endless, echoing void of shock. I couldn't move, couldn't breathe, couldn't comprehend what I was seeing.

Shaking my head, I desperately tried to "restart" the system, to think something … anything. But nothing came. My thoughts were a jumbled mess, slipping through my fingers like sand. What? How? Why? The questions swirled in my mind, but no answers followed. Each second stretched into an eternity as I stood there, paralyzed by the magnitude of what had just happened.

Finally, my brain restarted, and more and more questions bombarded my mind with no answers.

Time moves differently?

How could this happen?

Was it a glitch in the Gate?

Did I miscalculate something?

How did 11 days pass here while it felt like only three on the other side?

What had happened during those missing days?

Did anyone notice I was gone?

Were there other Travelers who experienced this?

What was the true nature of the Gate?

Was this a one-time anomaly or a recurring phenomenon?

Who could explain this?

Where could I find answers?

Why was there no warning in the Archive about this possibility?

What did this mean for future travels?

How would I account for this lost time?

Would it happen again if I went back through the Gate?

What was I supposed to do next?

Again, I needed to process. With the number of shocks I was getting at every turn, there was a good chance I’d get a heart attack or something. I envied the Traveler Guar Shum for having a father who prepared him for all this madness. Going in blind and getting blindsided, again and again, was very taxing mentally.

_______

Upon checking my phone, I noticed missed calls from my lawyer. When I returned his call, he notified me of a court date in two weeks with my in-laws concerning the trust fund. After booking a flight home three days before the hearing, I continued taking it slow in Germany.

One thing that kept repeating in the books I read was the ability to "loot," and I really liked it. I knew I'd get into fights at some point; that's why I trained. So, if I were going to get into fights, I would want to get the benefits as well. Looking through the full list of skills and spells for purchase, I couldn't find anything. Thinking maybe the name was different, I read the description of every skill or spell that sounded even tangentially plausible, but there was nothing.

"Bad system or Guidance or whatever, you're missing crucial components for successful adventuring."

I got a feeling of rebuke directed at me.

Holy shit, it communicated with me!!!

… And I was hyperventilating again.

I needed to raise my strength stat; maybe I would stop feeling shocked at every turn; it said something about dealing with stress better.

OK, no thinking about a judgmental text box.
No thinking about a judgmental text box.
No thinking about a judgmental text box.

Without thinking about anything, I took a long walk in the city; I wasn't ready for another shock. Just walked around, looked at the shops and the architecture, and tried not to think. A pawn shop caught my attention on one street, and I recalled the Archive had mentioned those shops, so I entered.

It was not what I expected. My mental image was of a small and dusty place with a mish-mash of things on the shelves. The reality was very different. It wasn't a shop; it was an enormous store. A long glass case cut the space in the middle full of watches, jewelry, guns, diamonds, and other precious gems, as well as two displays of cameras–one side had high-end DSLR cameras and equipment, and the other collectible vintage cameras. On one side of the glass case was a large section full of musical instruments. On the other were paintings, statues, and a section with power tools.

I asked the salesperson about the jewelry and gem prices and was surprised; he quoted prices much cheaper than expected. After going through the entire collection, I bought 34 pieces—mainly rings and pendants. There was also a lovely vintage camera from the 80s that was wholly mechanical and didn't use batteries. The salesman warned me that this camera had no flash, but I was okay with the idea—fantasy worlds don't have batteries. He even gave me the name of a photography store that could check/clean/fix the camera as needed, sell me the film for it, and had workshops on developing film and printing photos the old way.

Perfect!

I knew what I was doing in the next few days.