August Doodles - Stay (Patreon)

It was easy, incredibly easy, to first get in touch with Deadman after Sam left Bridges. He had a pod baby freshly birthed from her pod, and Deadman was probably the only person alive who would be able to help if she started to struggle. So, he got to put that whole emotional mess aside, and soon they were speaking regularly on encrypted channels, first about Lou, and then about everything, and Sam kept reminding himself that it was for Lou, that he could keep doing this for Lou and that Deadman would keep doing this for Lou, and he would never have to admit what it meant to him because they both knew what it meant for Lou. And then Deadman suggested he visit, only for a little while (Fragile could help him, they'd be careful, no one would know where he went), and then THAT was so easy, under the pretense that Lou should meet him face to face, this man who saved her life over and over and over before she was even born. Then he was THERE, and Lou loved him (of course she did, he was practically her other father), and it got so much harder, but Sam was good at repressing, so good at it that he forgot that Deadman would eventually have to leave, and THEN, good god, then it all unrepressed itself rather quickly. "I don't want to confuse her," he says. "The longer I'm here, it will be that much harder when I'm gone. She needs stability," he says. "It will be better for her," he says, and suddenly what Sam wants and what's best for Lou are different things, and he can't pretend anymore that Deadman is only there because Sam wanted to make sure Lou was safe and healthy. Love and attachment is not something Sam thought he was going to get again, after Amelie, after Lucy, but now there's Lou, and there's this tangled mess of feelings he has for Deadman, and he doesn't even know if the man feels anything but friendship for Sam. But if he doesn't, then at least Sam will know, and maybe it will be a little easier to watch him leave...

No one requested it, but I've had this in my head for awhile now and I wanted to draw them TTTTTwTTTTT