Dungeon Menagerie 13 (Patreon)

Commissioned by InfiniteChaosRei

Dungeon Menagerie

Chapter 13

-VB-

Vanessa hummed happily as she stared at the documents detailing her familia’s - or rather her - fortune. 

And how there was not a single dip in it for the past three days. 

“This is so wonderful!” she laughed happily, oozing satisfaction and happiness almost to such a degree that reality might be warping around her. 

Athena, who sat on the other side of the room in the living room’s larger sofa, grumbled, grumbled, and grumbled. “Why do you take such joy in tormenting your goddess?” she demanded petulantly. 

“I’m not tormenting anyone~!” she grinned. “I’m just enjoying how full my account is with money!” 

“Money is meant to be spent.”

“Spent at the right place and right time, yes, yes, yes~,” she hummed as she looked over her budg-. Then she realized something. “You know what? That’s a great idea!” 

“What?”

“Budget!” Vanessa exclaimed as she turned to look at her goddess. And then with the utmost seriousness she could put forth, she clasped her hands in front of her face and wove the fingers together. “... I’m putting you on a budget.”

Athena stared at her and then her jaw slowly opened. “You can’t!” 

“Oh, why not?” she asked in turn. “It’s obvious to me that most of the income is not spent on the familia. You’re also not recruiting anyone else to our familia, too. Your spending habit is way too big of a burden for me, you know? I earn on par with most Level 2’s, which is more than enough for a single person to enjoy, but our account is barely in the black every week. So budget! I’m going to separate the income so that we’ll have enough money for our taxes and everything.”

“But- but -!” 

“Unless, of course, you’re willing to write down everything you are buying, why you are buying them, and a good reasonable cause to justify such purchases… Because I don’t trust you with money, mine or other’s, you spendthrift goddess.”

“This is a blasphemy!” Athena shrieked in outrage. “I am your goddess! You can’t treat me like an irresponsible-!”

“84,000 valis last week.”

She stopped. 

“96,500 valis the week before.”

Athena started wilting.

“75,000 valis the week before that.”

She leaned forward.

Athena leaned back, even though she was on the other side of the room.

“My goddess spent the gross income of a small squad of Level 1 adventurers operating at peak efficiency for a full week. But instead of thanking the sole adventurer bringing in that income, she goes and spends it all. Every. Single. Week.” Vanessa took a deep breath in. “I am very tempted to talk about your spending habits to your friends, you know? Show them just how you are running me ragged. I wonder how your friends will look at you afterwards…”

She smiled as her goddess completely lost the will to argue.

Wonderful.

“Your weekly budget will be a tenth of what I make the previous week,” she began. “Because a tenth of the gross income is what the Guild takes as their tax, this means any future members will also have a flat ten percent deduction to their gross income. Unlike me, they will not give you ten percent of their gross income to you but only five percent of their gross income.”

Athena’s jaws dropped. 

“This is an incentive to get you to recruit future adventurers who are likely to get strong and cooperate with the rest of the guild,” Vanessa smiled. “And I don’t think you will find someone to remove me as the First Adventurer of your familia and its captain… so you better start, neh, Lady Athena?”

“...Cruel!” she hissed. “You are an objectively cruel woman, forcing your goddess to work! You should be attracting recruits to our familia with your presence and prestige!” 

Vanessa laughed woodenly. “I’m not interested in showing off more. You know why I shouldn’t. Also, doesn’t Lady Hestia work at a potato chip stand? Maybe I should get her to talk to her manager about hiring you. It would be great for those above us to understand the daily toil and hardship of -.”

The door slammed close as Athena ran away before she could dig herself further. 

Vanessa snorted as she leaned back into her chair. 

It was great messing with Athena like that. 

Toss Bell at her, will you? Make promises on things that you already were on thin ice, are you? 

… Speaking of which, if she wanted to actually carry out what she threatened Athena with, then she needed to go to the Guild to make the changes official. Oddly enough, the Guild was extremely open to curbing the excesses of the gods and goddesses, even if the deities themselves didn’t want to. The organization in charge of all of Orario loved to take the initiative of adventurers to keep a leash on the deities. 

She stood up to leave -.

Vanessa stopped as the Celestial Menagerie acted up again, blooming inside of her mind and soul like an inescapable flash of light. She watched as it reached out and grabbed something. And then -.

And then it was over. 

But it wasn’t. 

She stared down at the dining table that she’d just gotten up from and tried to catagorize just what she had gotten.

It was … some kind of ability? It had to do with her summons, but instead of summoning them … she would get materials? 

“Athena! I need you to look at my falna!” 

-VB-

Vanessa Meinhardt

Basic Abilities

Strength - E451

Endurance - D530

Dexterity - G286

Agility - D511

Magic - H165

Skills

Celestial Menagerie. “Let not the mortals dictate your future but these friends you find.” - Friend Summoning through accumulated Essence. Essence: 200.

Material Extraction. “Not all monsters are meant to be friends.” - Gain material goods instead of Friend.