Chaotic Clusterfuck 23 (Patreon)

Commissioned by Definitely Not Dio

Chaotic Clusterfuck

Chapter 23

-VB-

Now that the post-battle battles came to an end and everyone looked over their loot, I did the same. 

First off, I got a rather large chunk of the post-battle salvage, thanks to my massive army of Ajins that no one could fight against. The Undersiders had been the case in point. They backed off really quickly once Tattletale found out about the massive team of ajins. 

That was the only site that I used ajins extensively out of the three I managed to get my hold on. 

The second was the one held down by the Four Musketeers. 

And the last one was the one that fell directly into my lap around one of the anti-air battery sites. 

The last one had been unexpected, and I managed to get Faultline and her crew to secure it. 

It took my clones two days to take it apart from parts my clones took back to the warehouses, and from those, I managed to acquire roughly ten kilograms worth of element zero.

This was … quite the amount. 

When a single gram of the stuff was worth a million on public auction and worth tens of millions at the lowest on the black market, ten kilogram of the stuff suddenly made me one of the richest person in all of the western hemisphere.

Yup. I wasn’t just a regular old millionaire now. I was a multi-billionaire who was rich enough to be within the western hemisphere’s top 100 richest people. 

Of course, no one knew that yet. As far as the public was concerned, the Ghosts had a chunk, the Four Muskteers had a chunk, and then I had a chunk.

… That still made me a billionaire by the lowest estimate. 

Which meant … I should probably either use it up as quickly as possible or sell it off to get the heat off my back, because people will come after this stuff. Batarians weren’t seen outside of the African Archipelago until their invasion and occupation of Georgia (the state). 

Sure, I had a dozen clones capable of handling tech, but that wasn’t enough clones, all of whom had low levels on their System-chosen class, for me to quickly use up the eezo I now had. 

What was I going to do…?

“What do you think?” I asked Zoe.

Zoe hummed as she sliced into the pike fish and forked out a strip of the browned meat. “... If you want to hide something, then do it in plain sight,” she hummed. “It’s something lawyers do all of the time.”

“Do it in plain sight…?” I repeated after her. 

She nodded. “People know you have some of the wonder alien metal, right? They don’t know exactly how much.”

“Right…” Then I got it. “Especially since my powers prevent anyone from looking too deeply, they really can’t know. So the world only can trust that I have as much as I do…” And no one saw “Ghost” delivering the salvage using Deep Pockets, one of my powers that hasn’t been used much because I didn’t have a need to use it extensively until now. “Thanks, Zoe. I think I have a plan to go on from here.”

She smirked as she met my eyes. “You’re welcome, hon.”

-VB-

Now, the plan was very simple. 

I knew that I had ten kilograms in total. However, no one else knew that. Whatever I said, people would get suspicious because I wasn’t known for being a public figure. So what I would do was say that I had five hundred-ish grams of eezo salvaged from the one shuttle that landed in my “territory” that I would put up on auction, but I would also have another one hundred grams hidden away that will be “discovered” by an insider leak. 

This way I would keep other people from looking for more eezo in my possession than what they “discovered.” 

As I dawdled for a day to think about how I would break the news… the Protectorate showed up at my warehouse. 

“What?” I hissed angrily into the phone.

“The Protectorate is demanding that we hand over your stuff, boss,” Gregor spoke from the other end. “They just came here with half of their heroes. We can’t fight this.”

What the hell? Were they seriously pulling that card?

“Just … hold them off until I get there,” I sighed out before I hung up on him. I turned to Emma, who looked disappointed. We have been planning to try our hands at BDSM because she was curious about it, but now, it was all going to be ruined and set back. “Sorry, Ems.”

“I’m starting to hate the heroes,” she grumbled as she set the whip down to the side. 

“They aren’t heroes,” I shrugged. “If they were, then they wouldn’t be working for the government.” 

I dressed up quickly and left the mansion in my red Ford Mustang, and drove just below the speed limit all the way to my warehouse. I didn’t put it above the Protectorate to use my speeding ticket as a hook to escalate the issue. As I drove, I kept a watch on the situation with the few ajin in the area that I began to gather in the area. 

If the situation got worse, then I would have the Ghosts interfere under the guise that I hired them on the fly. 

The Protectorate came with Armsmaster, Battery, Miss Militia, and Triumph. The only Protectorate heroes who weren’t here were Dauntless, Assault, and Velocity, who were coincidentally the ones who were least likely to carry out unethical orders. 

Faultline was there with her crew, standing almost face to face with Armsmaster as she argued with him. 

‘I better give them all a raise,’ I thought as I continued to drive, only to end up stuck at a red light mere two blocks from the warehouse. I grunted and opted to wait. 

“I don’t care that you think there is something valuable in there, Armsmaster! You do not have the warrant, so we are not giving you permission to enter!” Faultline shouted at Armsmaster.

“We know that you possess government property that is illegal in the hands of a civilian,” Miss Militia interrupted. “Hand it over, Faultline. You don’t want this to get out of hand.”

Get out of hand, my ass. I was so going to grill their ass over this. 

I directed some of my clones inside one of the warehouses to gear up. It was obvious from where I saw that the Protectorate really wanted my eezo. I wasn’t going to hand it over that easily. 

Within a minute of the order, the farthest warehouse from where the confrontation was taking place slammed its doors open. 

And two dozen clones, geared up in the best head to toe tactical gear I could afford - face covered with full faceplate - walked out as one toward the heroes and mercenaries.

Faultline took one look at my clones and backed off immediately. Did she know? 

“What’s going on here?” I had the clone in the lead demand. Armsmaster turned to look at my clones. 

“Who are you? Identify yourselves,” he demanded immediately as he bent his knees slightly, an obvious sign that he was ready to jump into combat at the slightest sign of hostility. 

“Cape name’s Tank, Assmaster,” I drawled. Newter choked on his laughter. “Now, why the fuck is the Protectorate barging in on my employer’s property? I heard something about a lack of warrant?” 

“This is Protectorate business for retrieval of government property. You will step aside or you will be arrested -”

“It’s about the element zero, ain’t it?” I interrupted him loudly. “Yeah, I’m going to take a guess. Everyone knows who took what crashed shuttles. In this area, Four Musketeers took one. The Ghosts took another. And then my boss took one. It’s obvious why you’re here; you’re here to pressure a seemingly powerless civilian into giving away his stuff. Absolutely scummy there, mate.”

“Civilians aren’t -.”

“Fuck off before this becomes a fight, Assmaster,” I snapped back. “And before you think you can win… we’re mercenaries just like the local mercs over there, but we have no compunctions about killing you all and bombing your headquarters to bits.”

Did I just escalate to the moon? Oh yeah, but, well, the fuckers wanted to act like bullies. I hated bullies. Was it breaking the Unwritten Rules? Not yet, because no one’s dead yet, but yes, I was getting real close. 

But then again, I was already one of the strongest capes on the planet. Eidolon and Alexandria and come and try to take me down, but it would take just a few ajins to kill them. 

“Is that a threat against the Protectorate?” Armsmaster demanded. 

I had the clone thumb all of the clones that had come with him. “We’re all capes. Boss’s other merc group there are also all capes. There’s only four of you. You push this, and you get the curb. Do I need to make this any clearer?” 

And then to make it clear to him that all of the clones were indeed capes and not normies masquerading as one, I had the lead clone, an electromaster class from the Gamer System, draw out iron sand from the gravel and sandy ground around them all into a slim chainsaw longsword. 

I did that because it was easy to see, not a sudden move, and Armsmaster would understand how dangerous it was. 

And then I finally arrived at the site. 

I came to a skidding stop and just inside the walled compound and got out of my car. “What the fuck is going on here?!” I shouted with genuine anger. 

Battery turned to me, being the closest, and stepped in. 

“Why the fuck are the heroes in my warehouse demanding my property?!” 

And then she suddenly recognized me.

And to my utter surprise, moved to restrain me. 

Armsmaster reacted. 

Miss Militia reacted.

Faultline reacted. 

I reacted. 

Chaos ensued.