After the storm ... (Patreon)

Hello, dear patrons – 

I started writing this post to you back on March 24th.

MARCH. 24th.

I'm sorry.

I feel that I've neglected you for so long (though, a recent conversation with the ever-inspiring Rachel Strickland reminded me that perhaps the process of hauling an entire book into existence necessitates that some things simply have to be pushed back in the queue of Things To Do. Like sending my updates to you folks on time.)

I had started out writing to check in and offer a few brief words on the final stages of SLOW CIRCUS, as well as put out some of the coming ideas that have been churning around in my brain, back on March 24th. And then  - the TV show I've been working on for the last 6 months out in Vancouver wrapped, I was on a plane home, I was working on a free little resource for the trans community with Jen Crane/Cirque Physio ... I overdid it.

I opened my laptop today to let you know that – despite my quieter-than-usual approach this time round – the third issue of Writing the Circus has been sent to the printer, and I'll be picking it up to start stapling each copy together, tomorrow.

What I drafted for you all back on the 24th of March is still 'good', as they say, so here's what I wanted you to know one entire month ago:

• the SLOW CIRCUS books made their way out around the world at a speed that even I didn't predict! This company (Blurb) was fantastic with the printing, binding, and delivery. I will absolutely be working with them again in future. There have only been a very small number of humans who have messaged me in recent days with an "Ooh can I change my address!" (despite me screaming from the rooftops for over a month and adding several disclaimers to everything that this is not how drop-shipping works, and that their addresses were locked in in mid-February or so). My blood pressure remains stable at the time of this writing.
  
• The pre-sale model experiment was a success, I think I can safely say! I met my goal of not losing money on this project, and made a slim little profit that I decided to reinvest entirely into securing some backstock copies (because I KNEW that once these beauties were out there, folks would have the gimme-gimme eyes). I've got something like 75 backstock copies. Huzzah! I had to pay to ship all that backstock to me though, so I'll be selling the remainder at a bit of a markup to cover that* (*Unless it's one of you, dear patrons, that didn't jump on the pre-order with a discount code! If you'd still like one now, message me and it's yours at-cost)
  

The less good:
I'll be honest, friends:
The way I went about SLOW CIRCUS has definitely resulted in me being burnt out.

There's something intoxicating (in an unhealthy way) about going to bed at 11pm, barely sleeping because your brain is packed full of thoughts and worries, and then waking at 7am only to immediately open your laptop and pick up where you left off on your project the day before. It's not good for you. But good god, does it make impossible things happen in completely unreasonable time frames. 

I suppose in some ways, the pressure I put on myself to make Slow Circus: VACUUM happen in the time frame that it did was one way that I buried my head in the sand and avoided that drifting, meaningless feeling that has infected a lot of our lives now that we are a full year into the global pandemic.

I know this 'burn out' feeling is normal after a big project ends (or, at least, in my personal experience it is). I also know that my tendency is to give my mental/emotional health a big middle finger and launch myself into some NEW project immediately, as a hail-Mary attempt to avoid sitting with the weird, heavy, anxiety-tinged and slightly despondent aftermath of finishing The Thing.

I have tried my very best to avoid this, this time (for example: I DIDN'T submit a grant to this round of consideration for the Canada Council for the Arts). BUT ...

There are several ideas already tugging at the corners of my brain, begging to be brought into the world. What to do ...

Well.  I'll save those for next time.

Update coming in a few days for the SUBJECT of this upcoming issue of Writing the Circus, as well as a discount code and a sneaky little ahead-of-time link to grab a copy if you're on a Patreon tier that doesn't automatically have one making it's way to your door!

Until next time, stay strange & wonderful --

XO

Ess