Home Artists Posts Import Register

Content


Files

FINDING SOBRIETY - DAY 1

It's time for me to take back control of my life and my health. And today is the day that I start.

Comments

Anonymous

I am an Alcoholics and have been in recovery for many year. I am not going to judge you. I will always keep you in my thoughts. Thank you for your time, Dale

Anonymous

You're right about downright quiting not being the best idea, but I still stand by my other points. Please don't try to do this alone. If you want to try and 'self-detox' at home, at least make sure friends are looking after you and making sure you're actually decreasing the shot count. I'd go as far as to ask them to give you your shots like medicine and keep it away from you at all other times. Since you're doing daily updates I guess I'll share interesting moments related to this subject from my life. Both to give you an idea on how this stuff affects not only yourself but those around you as well. And maybe to avoid making the same mistakes. My mother has been in a professional detox facility twice. First time she was there for five days and was sober the very next day we visited, like I met a completely different person that day. She then got the choice to go home for the weekend or stay with the group. She took the weekend home, so we picked her up and drove her home. And the VERY FIRST thing she did when she got home was go to the shop down the street and buy a bottle of vodka. She was back to her drunk self that very same evening and didn't go back to detox like she was supposed to. I was around 7 years old at the time. Point being that you may think counting down the shots yourself is going to work, but it's going to be hard, if not impossible to do this completely by yourself without any supervision. You may get down to 15 shots and then your addiction is going to make that 16th shot veeeery appealing. At that point you need to have someone by your side to stop you from relapsing. I really don't mean to put a damper on your plans, I think you're trying really hard. I'm just trying to prepare you for when things inevitably get shitty. Also if you are seriously forgetting something as big as making, editing and uploading an entire video you have bigger problems than you might realize. By the sound of it you're already suffering from Korsakoff's syndrome or you are extremely close to it. There is no coming back from the damage Korsakoff's does and even if you manage to kick your addiction you will need treatment for it. Please, for your own sake, consult a professional detox clinic or at the very least a doctor about this. You need professional help with this.

Russell Tuss

Keep it up. Harness the power of repetition. Record your progress every day. Let the progress remind you. Graph it. Keep recording. Talk to us, as well as yourself. Don't think of it as 22 shots a day. Think of it as a graph to a month from now. I'm not sure about how the addiction will factor in, I'm not a biochemist or addiction specialist by any means. But I totally agree with the 'not going cold turkey' method. Let your body get used to the changes you're going to give it. Be ready for reality to crystallize back into focus. You can do this. We'll be here. Curious also as to why so many 'looks like they're finished' vids show up as Previews, are they 'patron preview' and posted to Youtube later?

RantingGryphon

The problem I have with that is that *I* need to be in control of it. Giving someone else control doesn't solve my problem. I don't want to be someone else's responsibility. I need to learn to say no to it instead of it simply being unavailable to me. If I stop drinking just because there's no booze around, then the moment there is some, I'll drink it. I have to learn to be able to say no to it.

RantingGryphon

Yup! Basically, you get to see them before anyone else. I put them on Patreon the moment they're uploaded. But sometimes they won't come out on Youtube until days later.

Bo Törnros (aka Arin Hjorulfr)

Go detox. If you try to cut down you will fail. I seen that so manny time. My mother was a alcoholic and even she said the best way is go detox and stay sober. She was sober the last 20 years and it is due to that fact I will never be a party furry. I am afraid I could end up as her. Beside I have fun even just drink Pepsi at partys. And I would never be able to drink so mutch. After 6 shots I would crawl around. I suport you all the way and whant to see you play and rant next year and the year after and the year after and ...... So go detox and if it will be a pause in gaming I will still suport you until you stay sober.

Anonymous

Well done. No, seriously, really well done for choosing to go down this path to improve your self. You say you don't care about yourself enough to change, but you'll do it for us. Well you'd better, because you're not a liar. This may seem like an arduous path that will be difficult. But I am here to give you what support I can. Shoulder, friendly face, or some one to break down to, me and others are here for you. Keep looking ahead, keep your eyes forward, and don't get distracted by the path behind or the track beneath your feet. YOU have the strength of those you want to be. We'll believe in you if you believe in us. Stay strong, stay on target and make it to where you want to be. Keep us updated, please! Much love and respect out to you. You are not alone, you are not afraid and you are on the path to more happiness. Take care of yourself, and remember we're here for you. *hugs*

Phoenix926

I am so glad you're not taking the route of "I don't remember making this video/promise so I don't have to keep it." It is a really easy trap to fall into. I wish you the best in getting through this. Wish I could offer more in the way of advice/insights, but it looks like you have a good game plan.

Anonymous

I have to say that I agree with this method for getting clean. I'm sure you can do it, and I'm sure forcing yourself to come to terms with exactly how much you drink by counting shots every day will make it all that much easier to stick to it. Another thing that might help, and whether this seems like a worthwhile solution while weening yourself off is up to you, would be to consider switching from Vodka to Beer. Drinking 22 servings of Vodka is 33oz of liquid, so a large fountain drink (or an extra small gas station fountain drink). Drinking 22 beers, while roughly the same alcohol content, is 264 oz of liquid, which will seem absolutely massive. It may or may not work for you, but it's a thought, and hopefully one that helps. I really respect the desire to make sure that this is something that YOU can control. I hate it when I feel like I'm not in control of my own life, and I enjoy beer, so I can really understand wanting to be in control well enough to say "I'm out with friends, so I'm gonna grab a beer or two and then stop, and it's not gonna be a problem because I am in control of myself." I impose limits on my own drinking, in fact. Not because I have a problem with alcohol, but because I've got family that does and I never want to let myself go down that road and have the same problems they do. I'm starting to ramble now (I do that a lot) so I'm gonna leave it here, but the point I am trying to make is 'You've got this.' I really do think that you are putting yourself in the right mindset and setting the right expectations (that this is gonna be hard as all shit, and that you aren't gonna get sober in 24hrs). We're all here for you, so if you're ever worried, if you ever reach your daily 'limit' and feel yourself reaching for that bottle again anyways, just reach out to us. We'll all do everything we can to help you through this.

RantingGryphon

Well, even though I don't specifically remember making that video, I do remember planning and wanting to make that video for a couple of months. I was ready to make that promise even though I hadn't made the video yet. So when I saw it there, it was a surprise for me, but at the same time, it wasn't. And I knew it was time to start this adventure.

RantingGryphon

Thank you so much for being there. I think it's important for me to look forward at what's to come rather than lament what could have happened. At this point, quitting daily booze is already a reality that hasn't quite been written yet. The only thing left is to experience and hope that it's not too terrible for me. :)