Team Rocket's Stylin' (Patreon)

Upon one of the busiest and most fashion crazed street in the whole of the Kanto region, two Pokemon trainers were walking in hand together heading for a particular salon in Scissor Street. When I say walking in hand of course, I mean one was dragging the other by force to prove a point.

“But why do I have to go to this dumb salon?” Ash moaned. “Didnt you heard what I said about a Pokemon's inside?!?”

“Because Ash, I know I'm right when it comes to a Pokemon's outside.” Misty dragged Ash by the hand. “Sure, Psyduck's going to be a challenge, but I can at least show you what handsome potential you have with a bit of make up. Besides, I'm sick of your scruffy hair.”

“I like my hair how it is! Besides, why did you leave all my Pokemon behind?”

“Pikachu's cute enough as it is. Psyduck won't have a chance to compete if we made Pikachu even cuter also.”

“Geez, I didn’t think a “Tomboy Mermaid” would be so into fashion, make up and think about her imagine so much...” Ash spoke sarcastically.

“....shut up. Anyway, we're nearly there!”

As the two trainers neared closer and closer towards the new Salon, Salon Rocket, inside the three stylists that owned and ran the business, really after some rare Pokemon and money, had just finished with their latest customer, while one of them counted the money.

“This plan's working perfectly!” James smiled happily. “At this rate, we could earn an honest living out of all those stupid trainers!”

“Yeah!” Meowth continued counting the many money notes they made. “There'll be enough to pay off da boss AND for ourselves!”

"And let's not forget the most important thing!" said Jessie, beaming with pride and girlish glee. "Thanks to my artistic genius and fabulous sense of style, we're turning the drab and tasteless Pokemon of this world into things of beauty!" she pumped her fist to indicate her zeal. "And who knows, someday I might just remake this whole drab world in my own gorgeous image!" She then proceeded to let out an insidious cackle of victory.

“...that's gonna give me nightmares for weeks...” Meowth whispered to himself, shivering at the idea of Jessie's vision.

Just then, the door to the Salon opened as two customers walked in.

“Ahh, here's two more suckeeeee.....I mean customers!” James quickly corrected himself.

"Well then, let's not keep them waiting~" said the redhead in a sing-song as she went to greet her latest victims. "~Welcome to Salon Rocket! Where we turn Pokemon into Pretty-mon! How may I help you on this fabulous da......." the words sudden died in her throat when realized just who her new customers were. “....HUDDLE!”

Jessie grabbed her two partner in crime and formed a secret huddle away from Ash and Misty.

“It's da twerps!” Meowth panicked.

“What are we gonna do?” James asked concerned. “If they know its us, they'll ruin our plan!!!”

Not to worry, boys." said Jessie, her voice dripping with bravado. "As usual, I know exactly how to handle this little hurdle. So just stand back and keep your traps shut. While I work my magic."

With that said, Jessie broke the huddle and left her teammates to go greet her 'guests'.

"So sorry about that Pumpkins, we had a little emergency in the back, now what can I do for.... Oh my goodness!" exclaimed the redhead in false astonishment as she rushed toward one of our young trainers and began to examine the face. "Those beautiful eyes, those cute kissable lips, and those adorable chubby cheeks!" she fawned as she pinched said cheeks and pulled them roughly. "Your are just too precious!"

“Erm, you sure you're not talking to me? Misty asked, bedazzled as to why she thought the stylist would find Ash the cute adorable one out of the two of them. “...a-anyway, I was wondering if you could do anything about him and my Psy...”

“Aww… You’re just a little Cutesy Wootsy Poopsie Poo! Yes you are! Yes you are!” Fawned Jessie as she ignored Misty and continued to torture the young trainer’s tender cheeks. “In fact, you’re such a Cutie-Patootie that I’ve decided to give you a Super Deluxe Salon Rocket Makeover totally free of charge.”

“But I…”

“Oh no need to thank me my little Poopsie; it’s my pleasure.” Jessie said sweetly before she picked Ash up like a little doll and whisked him away through a door in the back of the salon. Leaving behind a very befuddled redhead.

“Hey wait a minute!” Misty whined. “What about me?”

“Oh we'll take good care of you!” James guided Misty by force into a different room.

“Yes, REAL good care!” Meowth grinned, walking into the room with them.

As Jessie dragged Ash into the dark room, she shoved the trainer into a salon chair. For the short time he could observe the room, Ash could barely see anything but the light shinning down onto the chair like a spotlight, not even the walls. Who knew what kind of tools or accessories laid scattered around the room.

“Hey what is this?” Ash demanded to know. “Why is is...OOF!”

His conversation was interrupted by a strap on the chair being tightened round is stomach, securing him into the chair.

"Comfy Pookums?" Jessie asked in a sickeningly sweet voice; earning an irritated grumble from her captive. "Glad to hear it! Now... let's see. First I think we'll start with a nice relaxing bubble bath. It'll get rid of all those icky outdoorsy smells and it'll make your skin as soft as a baby's booty~"

The redhead let out a twisted cackle at the mental image she was conjuring.

"Then after your little bathie-poo I'll set you up with a whole new outfit. After that we'll move on to a pedicure and then I'll add some color to that pale face of yours with a little makeup~"

Ash struggled in vain against his bonds as his captor giggled with cruel delight.

"And then to top off your transformation from frumpy to fabulous, I'll give you a hairdo fit for a queen! Doesn't that sound like fun, Poopsie?"

“This is feeling like anything BUT a make over.” Ash commented on being strapped into the chair by force and the fact the woman was going through what she was going to give him then what he wanted, which was to be freed. “Anyway, I don't wa...”

Interrupted once again, Ash was gagged by a strip of duct tape to his mouth, applied on by Jessie.

“MMMPHH! MMMPPPHHHH!” the young trainer screamed through the insidious adhesive strip; much to the mad stylist’s amusement.

“Huh? What did you say Poopsie? I didn’t quite catch that?” she asked mockingly.

“MMMUUUMFTTTTT!”

“Oh~ You say you wanna get started right away. No Problem~”

With an overly flamboyant twirl, Jessie spun her captive’s chair around; pointing him toward a large heart-shaped Jacuzzi overflowing with pink bubbles.

“Time for Pookums to take a little dip~”

Before Ash could even react Jessie snapped her fingers and several mechanical arms sprung forth from the walls. A second later they scooped up the young trainer, stripped him down to his birthday suit and dropped him into the sweet-smelling vat

“MMMMMMFFFFPPPHHTTT!” he shrieked as he desperately to crawl out of the tub, only to be caught by another set of robot arms and mercilessly scrubbed from head to toe.

The whole scene was so funny, that Jessie decided to sing a little song.

~Oh….This is the way we wash our Twerp~

~Wash our Twerp, Wash our Twerp~

~This is way we wash our Twerp~

~Because he’s Icky, Disgusting, and Poopy~

The whole scene was just so bizarre and uncomfortable for Ash. Never in his wildest imagination beyond his normal thoughts about catching and training Pokemon and being the very best like no one ever was would ever imagine that THIS was what a salon was like. Granted, he never been to any kind of salon in his whole life, even when his mom went to the hairdressers he would be looked after by someone. Whether this was normal or not, Ash wanted out, but the mechanical arms had a good hold on him. His head constantly going from above and underwater, the arms did not miss a single spot on his body, and they scrubbed hard in every place ensuring he was squeaky clean. It felt like an eternity when in actual fact it was fifteen minutes but once it was over, he moaned a sigh of relief though his waterproof taped gag. Jessie meanwhile walked over to help Ash out of the tab, his body aching too much from the scrubbing to move much, while Jessie herself was still recovering from laugh of butt off, still letting out the sight giggle left in her laughter box.

“There now, don’t you feel soooo much better Poopsie?” she asked with mocking delight. “Not only did I scrub away all that icky-poo dirt and make your skin as soft as silk, but now you smell, well, just like me!”

Ash could only moan in misery as the demented stylist led him over to a small red circle in the floor.

“Now stand perfectly still my sweet little petunia, or you might lose an Arm.” Before the Ash could even think to ask, a large glass tube came down from the ceiling; trapping him inside. A split-second later, a power gust of scalding hot air came beating down on him.

As the young training began to panic, the mad redhead let out another twisted cackle.

“Relax Poopy-kins, all I’m doing is drying you off… and making your hair extra poofy-shmoofy!”

“Hot, hot, HOT!!!” Ash muffled through his taped gag. The heat from the dryer felt like he was on fire, and he would know having been Flamethrowered by his Charmander on occasion by accident. Once the strong gust had ceased, the boy trainer's hair poofed out almost like the wool on a Mareep. The once pointy scruffy hair of his now resembled more like something a clown would wear. Once the tube had lowered, Jessie began pushing her customer onto the next treatment on her list.

“This way, this way! Step lively now, my little Petunia!” the mad stylist said teasingly as she pushed her captive into the next room. “Now that you don’t smell like a vagabond anymore, it’s time for my favorite part of any makeover; DRESS UP!”

Before Ash could even muffle a reply, his captor spun him around like a child’s top. As he spun, he felt a thick coil wrap around his arms. By the time he stopped, he realized that the crazed redhead had tied his arms to his sides with a strong hemp rope.

“Perfect! No escapees for you!” Jessie smiled. “Ekans dear, could you come over here!”

“Ekans!” the Snake Pokemon slowly made it's way towards it's Mistress looking different then normal, sporting an outfit that almost looked like a Christmas tree if were pink instead of green (And made out of a fabric.). Jessie proceeded to lifting the outfit off of her Pokemon. “See, my Pokemon looks so pretty in this dress, but I think you can pull it off even better!”

“MMMRRRPPPHH MRRRPPPPPHHHH!!” Ash moaned before the red headed Team Rocket member concealed Ash under the dress before popping his head forcefully through the opening.

“Very wonderful!” Jessie smiled. “Of course, we don't want your dress to blow upwards in the wind and reveal your...”Pokeballs and Pokeflute” as it were, so...”

Jessie pulled out what was perhaps the most frightening part of his make over.

“These cutey wooty pink Pikachu panties will solve that problem!”

“MMMMRRRRPPPPPHHHHHH!” Ash screamed, even though the dress choker around his neck felt a little tight. Struggling against his binds as hard as he could, Ash had no chance of escape. Unable to run, he instead blushed the brightest red as Jessie lifted up his dress, put each of his feet through the leg holes of the underwear and then pulled up the pink panties with a Pikachu face on the front right up to his crouch before she pulled them sideways to snap them into place.

“There we go! Now all the lucky boys get to see something a lot cuter!” Jessie joked. “But oh, where are my manners? You haven't said a thing since we started! Why don't I take off that tape so you can tell me what you think of your fabulous transformation!”

With one swoop, Jessie took off the tape gag around Ash's mouth which stung like hell.

“OOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWW!” Ash yelled in pain before letting out his anger. “You crazy lady! Why are you doing this to me?!? What I have I....ever....”

Interpreting Ash were his own lips as they began to inflate in size. Once they stopped, they were now about the size of his fingers, as if he like he placed his two fingers on top of his lips.

“Kissable lips Tape!” Jessie held up the ripped tape. “Use for making lips more bigger and more kissable. Muuuuch cheaper and safer then surgery, stings like hell when you tear it off.”

“No...kidding...” Ash had a hard time getting used to the size and weight of his new lips, making speaking a little tricky.

“Oh and don't worry, it's permanent!” Jessie pointed out. “So boys will never trier of kissed those gorgeous big lips of yours!”

“Per...menent?!?” Ash spoke in shock.

“Now then, this would not be a make over without...” Jessie put her hands in her pockets and pulled then out swiftly to reveal a number of make up accessories held in-between her fingers such as lipstick, mascara, scissors, a hairbrush, a comb, and even a small container of face cream and one that looked like a brand of face paint along with a brush, while grinning like a sort of psychopath as her fake glasses shined. “....MAKE UP!”

“Please...no....” Ash pleaed, only to be kicked back into the salon chair he previously sat in by Jessie. With no way to get up due to his bonds tying his arms, his face was but an open canvas for Jessie's latest “masterpiece”. As she began, Ash could hardly keep up as Jessie was moving so fast and swift with her make up, not once it seemed putting down any of the tools she had in her hands. Eyelashes brushed, ruby lipstick applied to his swollen lips, his face painted with the face cream, then the brush and paint followed suit, then the scissor, brush and combs all came into play, brushing, combing, cutting and styling his clown hair at epic speed into something that resembled more a real hairstyle. It all happened so fast, Ash could swear Jessie must of grown four more arms the way she was going as his watch hair rain down in front of his eyes like snow.

“Just another final and a permanent touuuuuch...” Jessie kicked a can into the air and grabbed it, spraying its contents onto Ash's hair not missing a single spec of hair in the process. “Annnnnnnnnnnnd it's done!”

Meanwhile in another room, James and Meowth had just finished with Misty's make over. The redhead Gym Leader went all gaga over her reflection in the store mirror.

“I... LOVE IT!” Misty posed in the mirror. “This really is the latest and greatest in Fashion!”

“Huh...could of sworn we were making her look silly on purpose...” Meowth secretly muttered to James.

“Well you must of put too much effort into it!” James whispered back.

“How could I? All I do around is caught all the dough we're making off of these suckers! I thought the star, the clown nose and all the hearts would make her look like an idiot!”

“Did you say something?” Misty asked curiously.

“Oh nothing, nothing!” James lied. “We were just saying how many onlookers will look at you in awe once you leave here!”

“Really? Wow, I can't wait to see what your other employee has done to Ash!”

“Oh yeah, I wonder what she's done to da twerp....I mean boy.” Meowth wondered.

“Finiiiiiish!” Jessie popped back into the room as if to answer Meowth's question. “I think you're gonna LOVE what I've made of you little boyfriend!”

“Oh boy, that means she got carried away...” James sighed.

“Wait his not my boyfr...” Misty rushed to clear the confusion of her relationship with Ash, only to be interrupted by the sight of a familiar face walking awkwardly into the room, now sporting a pair of pink high heels of his feet. “.....oh.....OH MY FREAKING ARCEUS!!!!”

Misty burst into uncontrollable laughter, so much so she fell onto the floor holding her sides. She could not help herself, Ash look just that so silly to her, even James and Meowth were holding back their laughter the best they could, not to accidently give away their disguise. Ash walked slowly over to the store mirror. He knew full well he looked bad, but he had to see the damage report.

“Oh no...” Ash started to get teary eyed. It was worse then he imagined. Not only did the dress and the make up look silly, his hair was now ruined. Now only was it now in two large buns and sporting a pink bow, his hair was now dyed a bright red, the same shade as Jessie. Ash just wanted to get out of the place as soon as possible.

“YOU LOOK SO RIDICULOUS!!!” Misty continued. “HAHAHA, YOU, YOU MAY NOT OUT CUTE PIKACHU, HAHA, BUT YOU CERTAINLY LOOK MORE CLOWNISH THEN MR. MIME!!!! HAHAHA....”

“I also tied his arms together so he won't get out of it so easily.” Jessie explained. “Wouldnt want to waste such cuteness so soon!”

“HAHAHA, TOTALLY AGREE!” Misty struggled to take some money out of her shorts pocket. “HERE, TAKE IT!! HAHAHA! THIS WAS WORTH EVERY PENNY!”

“There'll be a little extra too for the Pikachu panties I supplied onto him.” Jessie continued.

“HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!” Misty broke into more laughter. “I'M....I'M GONNA PEE MYSELF!!!! HERE, TAKE ALL OF IT, AHHAHAHAHAH!!!!!”

Jessie happily took the large wad of money notes from Misty. The crazy stylist then took out a pink leash and attached it to Ash's choker.

“Consider the leash free of charge.” Jessie smiled. “He's all yours now.”

“HAHA, THANK YOU!” Misty got up from the floor slowly. “I JUST...I JUST GOTTA SHOW BROCK, HAHAHAHA! YOU'RE KEEPING THIS ON TILL I'VE SHOWN EVERYONE ASH, EVEN YOUR MOTHER!!!”

“MY MOTHER!!!” Ash spoke stunned, his mouth finally used to the new weight of his lips. “Misty no.....”

“COME....COME ALONG, ASHHHHHLEY HAHAHA!!!” Misty took the leash. “WE...WE GOTTA SHOW YOU TO EVERYONE!!! HAHAHA!!!”

After thanking the stylists for their work, Misty left with her “pet” clown following behind. Once out of sight, James and Meowth finally ceased their silence.

“BAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!” Meowth fell to the floor in laughter. “I... NEARLY LOST IT!!!!!”

“I KNOW RIGHT, HAHAHAHAHA!!!” James did likewise. “YOU REALLY DID A NUMBER ON THAT TWERP BOY JESSIE, AHHAHAHAHA!”

Unusually not laughing like the other two Team Rocket members, Jessie turned around to look at her team mates in a state of confusing, stating;

“What? I though I did a wonderful job on him....”

The End