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Hello (Patreon)

Published:
2021-09-06 20:25:31
Imported:
2021-09

Content

I know we’re not releasing content this week but I’m working hard I swear!

Been filming all day today after a two day break. It was a much needed one as I only rested one day last month, didn’t realize how badly I needed it.

Full disclosure I did have a bad moment yesterday. I woke up at 7am and my partner wouldn’t wake up so I fell asleep again and wound up waking at 11am. I felt so awful having wasted the entire morning that I wound up getting a massive anxiety attack and kept harming myself. After I eventually came out of it (after like 3-4 hours) I got high (legally) and watched Running Man and laughed my ass off for an hour and I felt all better.

I feel so stupid for going through such an episode all because I woke up LATE (for reference I wake up at 5 or 6 in the morning) and I felt guilty for not being productive. But I reflected on it and thought if I woke up that late it’s because I needed it and hadn’t previously taken care of myself.

It’s been weird having my depression and anxiety be governed by workaholism. Like those feel like such silly reasons to get depressed given that I used to have REAL problems and trauma that I dealt with better.

But hey! September is suicide prevention month so I just wanted to normalize opening up about your problems, no matter how trivial or serious it may seem.

Hope y’all have a wonderful week!

Files

Comments

Julia Mon

Btw you look adorable in that picture, PD.

Malaki.H

You Have a wonderful week PD!!

Misha

No reason is silly to get depressed, depression is hard like that. I'm happy you made yourself feel better in the end. Thank you for working so hard! The photo is so cute.

Owen Rich

You’re doing great king 🙏🏾

Ara J

Hope you take it easy PD and make sure to get some relaxation time in this month too!!!

Anonymous

Your so strong, no need to explain we all support you. Enjoy your week

Y

Honestly depression and anxiety have no real measure of degrees or severity so don't beat yourself up about sweating small stuff and not being bother by the big things. I'm glad you got to rest hope you feel better and didn't hurt yourself too badly. Looking forward to content next week. Nice pic BTW 😉

Anonymous

It is incredibly hard to try and relax when your brain is telling you to be guilty or anxious about it, that you are wasting time. But taking care of yourself should be the priority, even a little bit at a time. I hope you can take some rest time without too much anxiety in the future PD, you deserve it. 💜💜💜💜💜

Fadi - moonlight

Adorable PD making my day 🥺 I actually do that too. When I get anxious or depressed about something I remember when I had it way worse before and I realize how trivial what I have now is in comparison. Not sure if this is a good coping mechanism but it works well enough for me hehe

Marcia

You're adorable in this picture 🥰

Rebecca Le Minh

Have a great week PD and good luck for all the filming!

Izak

Have a wonderful week, it's really comforting to have others open up, even if I don't say anything myself just reading other people's stories and how they're dealing with things is a big encouragement to keep going like they are

Joel R

I know it's easier for people to say things than it is for you to do them. But that's all we can offer sometimes. Just words. So my contribution in words... Take care of yourself. No one on their deathbed wishes they spent more time at the office. Eat well. You'd be amazed of that fact that diet affects your mood and mind frame by an exponential factor. I don't know how much stock you really put in our opinions, but some of us actually care about you as a person, not just an insightful reactor. Yes, we're not "friends" so to speak, we don't know each other much at all, but alot of us do consider you to be a positive effect in our lives. We would rather see you well than giving us miserable reactions. Not that you give us miserable videos, but I can read faces and voices. Be kind to yourself, sir. Even if you don't think you deserve it. Stop being so hard on yourself (again, easy for me to say, I know) We all can't wait to see what you have planned for the future, PD. You're gifted in many ways. Show the world.

Mikey L.

There is no invalid reason for anxiety/depression, so don't beat up yourself about the reason. Also, speaking of work and taking time off, you have to be very strict about scheduling free days and sticking to it. Maybe it will help if you think about free time as a way of working on/for yourself, and to do what is needed to relax and help you do other work when it's time.

Donslaught

Aw PD. I hope you and Blaire are doing well. Take it easy and have a great week! Don't overwork yourself, we miss you when you're gone.

Rachael H

Thanks for sharing, PD. My anxiety has been terrible for my sleeping habits this past week because of classes starting back up. I hope you’re doing well and look forward to whatever you put out :)

Rosa

I hope you are doing better. If I were you I'd try to schedule one day every week to do literally nothing. Sometimes is really needed

Violet Joo

Hope your doing better. As silly as the reasons may seem it is important to you and is what brings bad moments. Sometimes we need a bad moment to get good moments. Noone has good moments all the time and those bad moments make the good moments even better. And we get to appreciate good moments more.

catanda

hey, i think most people can relate to what you are going through and all i can say we support you a lot!, bad days suck ass, i know that for you rest and not working is super hard but the day has many hours and even a hour break can work wonders! so maybe you won't feel as bad if you take longer breaks, i'm glad resting did a little better, and i think that is better than no rest at all! i hope my words didn't come up wrong or like,,, i'm telling you how to do things DDDDDD: pls (anxiety sucks) , glad to have you back and excited for the upcoming weeks!

Emma

everyone’s already pretty much summed up my exact thoughts so I’ll just say well done for getting through the night/day - it might not seem like a lot to some but I know how big of an achievement it is! hoping for better days for you going forward, and that you’re able to get through the days that aren’t!

Taj carter

🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾

flowerbit

Hope the week goes smoothly for you!!

K

"thought if I woke up that late it’s because I needed it" this!! after a week of classes i end up waking up around 10-11am and feel guilty as well for not getting up to get started on my assignments but if i literally cant keep my eyes open and actually get my brain working then whats the point right? get the rest you need and then get going!

Natasha Chileshe-Waters

Don’t think you should harm yourself mentally or physically for work, because then that work doesn’t feel worth it. I’m sure you feel pressure to reach deadlines. But if you just communicate with us like you have now, then I’m sure we’d understand. Also try to show yourself the same grace and kindness that you would show another person.

Yolonda Hughes

I think it's just a result of capitalism that makes us feel like our sense of worth is connected to how productive we are (something I learned from Angry Black Hoemo his stuff is awesome). Glad you're feeling better, this is the cutest selfie ever!

angel

Plz take care of yourself pd and don’t feel bad for not getting content out, your health comes first! Take as much time as you need getting videos out :)

SYFG

You're so cute PD, take care 🙂

Josie Camacho

Thank you for sharing PD💝 It's never easy but always grateful

Thildia

Depression and anxiety are so tricky and unique to everyone, there's no one good or bad or silly way of going through these. Even though our reach and support is limited know that you have an entire community that loves you and only wants the best for you. Take care <3

Dona Fernando

Thank you for sharing PD and hope you're doing better. Please prioritize your mental health first :) Have a great day!

holls

when i used to be like this about work my gf told me “the best is the enemy of the good” meaning pushing yourself too hard to try and achieve your version of perfection can often end up sabotaging you in the long run leaving you incapacitated instead of having great but not perfect work that you can keep up with physically and emotionally. as a fellow workaholic i know it can be super hard but that way of looking at it helped me to sometimes chill out xx look after yourself lovely

Brittney Danielle

Take care of yourself and don’t beat yourself up for such episodes. I legit hip checked a cabinet at my grandmothers which broke a glass and I broke down in tears and actual sobbing for four hours from 1 AM to 5 AM. Kept my sister up in the process too. Didn’t sleep a wink, and all I can think now is ‘what the fuck’ is wrong with me. Sometimes emotions just get the best of you though. You got this 💜

Milo K

Take care of yourself, PD =( Please don't be so hard on yourself!

Hanabicarat

Aaahh. Now i wanna watch a running man episode with PD. It used to be my go to show for relaxing and getting away from stress during my university life. I havnt watched a running man episode in a long time. I watched or read recaps (dramabeans ❤️) of every sing episode till the end of MEMBERS WEEK SPECIAL EPISODES. after that i watched the episode where sechan and somin joined the cast. Since then i have not had time to watch it 😢, (mainly because i have too many shows to follow up on during my free time 😁😑) But now wanna see pd reacting to running man, coz I KNOW it will be DOUBLE THE FUN.

Stbhs_

Thank you so much for trusting us enough to open up. we really appreciate it. i hope youre doing much better now. resting is important too :c